Fixing our project that never took off.

If you have been following us this month you probably saw we are working on a new concept: our first video mini-series called “Behind Limitless".

The goal of those videos are to share with you our ideas, struggles and achievements, around our Limitless program we have been working on for this past 1.5 year.

We are bringing you on this journey with us, showing you the positive but also the negative sides every business owners have to deal with.

If you are new or have no idea of what we are talking about, here is a summary:

Limitless is a mindset coaching program for women, combined with our boudoir photography work. We have been working with Eden, the best mindset coach we have ever met. All together, we created this unique program to help womxn remove their limiting beliefs, rebuild their self-confidence, and embrace their body so they can kick some asses and live the life they truly want.

Today's article is the second part of this "Behind Limitless” series (you can read the first part here or watch the first episode video) and it is all about:

• The struggle of making this second video (we told you we will get real);

• Finding the right people to hire in order to make this program work (it wasn't that easy!);

• The main reason why Limitless did not take off;

• All the work that had to be done (and redone 😬);

• And the new direction we are going to.

Having a business is definitively a long journey but we love it so much that it is worth the struggles.

Helping womxn to achieve their dreams and feel better in their life is our calling, so we will always make sure we do everything we can to provide the best experience.

Here is the second episode for you!

We are so happy to finally announced our brand new Instagram, come being part of our community!

We are building Limitless around you, because you deserve a freaking great program and a safe place to help you rise. But we need your help: we would be so grateful if you could take two minutes to fill out this short survey.

The more empowered womxn we see, the better this world will be.

With love, 💋💋

- Fanny & Juliette

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Letter to our society

Dear society,

There was a time when we, people, allowed you to negatively impact our decisions and Life. We did not know better, neither realized we could actually change social norms. So we trusted most of the things that were told to us!

Like, for example, how women need to have proper manners and men to be manly, in order to be respected. What type of clothes are the most appropriate to wear in order to be accepted by others. We accepted the pressure about our sexuality and who we should love because we felt threatened if we were to choose otherwise. We rushed into similar paths because we believed being different is a weakness.

But this social pressure is heavy and honestly it is loosing credibility. How can we take those common standards seriously when, clearly, nothing we do is enough:

• We know the importance of Life but make ourselves obsolete after 40 years old.

• We hear womxn who show too much skin are sluts but if we cover ourselves, we are old school.

• It is a common rule for people who identify as men to not show their vulnerability as they think they should always be strong. So can we really complain when they don't find other ways other than violence and aggressivity, to show their masculinity .

• We are supposed to be healthy and strong so we can be good workers and help make this society works but all we consume is chemicals and pills.

• We break ourselves apart, building inequalities: rich vs poor, men vs women, skinny vs fat, young vs old... But yet, we should support each others when times are difficult.

We divided ourselves by saying which skin colour is the most powerful but we forgot we are all human beings!

We let anger and fear dictate our life and we put the blame on society, rather than getting together to create positive changes. There are so many things that are wrong in this world and we let it happen, so we are also part of the problem.

Taking actions and being consistent (practice makes perfect!) is a must if we want to help this world to improve. To do so, we need to get out of our comfort zone and look at our belief system. Is it still accurate to this day? Is there adjustments here and there we can make to make a step towards what we want to build?

There is so much more in this world beyond what we think we know! We need to open our mind and increase our knowledge. We need to experience by ourselves and make our own opinions rather than believing only in what we see in the media or what we are told.

It is time we realize WE are society and that, all together we can empower this world and decide how to live our life. We are strong, smart, gorgeous and badass people who will take their lives by the reins and make this world a better place.

We now dare to be unique!

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Street harassment, a sad reality

You guys probably read or heard about the recent cases of street harassment happening to women in Toronto.

To sum it up: Some women have been followed by black SUV while they were walking alone downtown Toronto. The drivers ask them questions about directions, getting pushy if they don't reply and in some cases, other men came out of nowhere behind the potential victims.

Street harassment is a reality.

As scary as it is, unfortunately it happens all over the world, some countries being worse than others. Toronto might feel unsafe right now but for Juliette and I, it is so far the safest city we have lived in with London (England). France, on an another hand, is another story!

The goal here is not to scare you, neither to be defeatist, like: “well this is life, nothing we can do about it!”. We just want to tell you that all of us have to be aware of those situations, even if we have never experienced them. Knowing what to expect and potential dangers is important to be able to confront them.

We both unfortunately experienced those behaviours: being followed by men walking in the street or driving their car. Being catcalled, from whistles to insults such as:

“Hey f**king b**ch!”,

“You know I can r*pe you if I want!”,

“Come see me, I will put it deep!”,

“You have beautiful legs, at what time do they open?”…

But also been touched inappropriately (for Juliette) and been beaten up (for me).

And we are not the only ones! Ask any french women if they ever faced any danger in France due to men's behaviour, the answer will be yes and many times…

What we learn from a young age.

Street harassment is so common in France that most of the time you can forget about getting help from strangers as people don't even pay intention to those behaviours anymore. It has become so common that there are many rules we are taught from a very young age to avoid as much as possible any trouble. And we wanna share those rules and advice with you, which can be real life savers:

• Never stay too long at the same spot:

  If potential attackers see you are alone and waiting for someone, they will try to talk to you. Changing spots will make it more difficult for them and you can easily see if someone is following you.

• Show confidence:

  Chin up and look straight! Why do french women have resting b**ch face? To show no mercy to potential attackers. Those men are looking for easy victims, you have less risk to get in trouble if you give the impression you will fight back.

• Be aware of your environment:

  Walk like you know where you are going and always keep an eye on people (without staring). If they see you walking fast with purpose, you become a difficult target for them. Be also careful when you are listening to music. Always try to keep hearing what's going on around you.

• Walk on the sidewalk where you can see cars coming:

  Walking on the opposite side of driving cars is a great way to avoid being followed by one and it makes it easier to keep an eye on what can be potentially coming for you.

• Don't take risks:

  Don't make the decision at night to chose a risky itinerary because it saves you time to go home or because it looks pretty. It is not worth your safety! So when it is dark outside, avoid empty streets as well as parks. You wanna stay close to people, in bright and busy locations.

• Don't hesitate to ask for help:

  Talk loudly, scream, grab someone in the street or find shelter in places of business. It is better to alarm people for nothing and feel stupid about it, rather than keeping it quiet and really get in trouble. They will stay with you until someone you know come to help you.

• Listen to your guts:

  We don't say it enough: TRUST YOUR INSTINCT! If you feel in danger, it is probably for a good reason. Don't think twice, without showing fear remove yourself from the situation as soon as you can.

• In case you are in trouble: act batshit crazy.

  Those kind of men don't want to attract attention, so give it your best performance. Scream, make weird animal noises if you have to, catch them off guard and flee.

What can you do if you witness those behaviours?

Most of the time, people pretend they do not see anything when someone is in trouble is because they don't know what to do or they care about their own safety. But there are so many things you can do depending of the situation, you just have to educate yourself and get creative. Sometimes the simplest actions works. Check out Loréal's video for a few examples:

Those situations should not happen, but they unfortunately do. So if you witness someone being harassed or worse, please don't hesitate to help. You don't have to do it alone, you can gather people around you to help as well.

WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER TO HELP PEOPLE IN NEED!

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I turned 30

Hey Scandals, Fanny writing today!

I want to share with you my experience on turning 30. I feel like there are a lot of expectations coming from others but also from our own beliefs about starting a new decade. Generally speaking we believe that by 30 we should have our life together: be a home owner, married with kids and a carrier. So we put a lot of pressure on our shoulders thinking with HAVE to fit in this mold.

My friends, this is not the reality anymore (was it ever?) ! So let's dust off all of those expectations that, frankly, are just here to create more stress and anxiety. We don't want that in our life, do we?

Last January I turned 30 and honestly I was fine (end of the article, thanks for reading).

More seriously! I am the type of person who is not afraid to get old and die, so age was never really a struggle for me. But apparently it is a harder topic for others…

You see, people expect you to feel bad about turning 30, especially if you are:

• a woman;

• who is single;

• with no kids.

Like me! So around my birthday, I have heard them all:

“You must be so sad to turn 30?”

“Still no kids hein!”

“Are you single by choice?"

“When are we seeing a ring on your finger?”

“You are not 25 anymore, time to get settled!”… Blablabla.

For those who know me, you will not be surprised to hear that instead of feeling angry, I tried to educate those people but man it asks for a lot of patience!

It is really easy for people to guilt trip others, especially if they believe they know better. It is usually done in a “I am joking” way but the result is the same: we feel bad about our life choices and start doubting ourself.

The way I see it is we have 3 options here:

• we give up and make choices towards a life than is not ideal for us;

• we feel angry at them, carrying negativity and frustration around. The chances are we are gonna explode at some point and start useless confrontations.

• or, we ignore them and keep focusing on how we want to live our life (I vote for this one!)

Personally I believe some people are not worth my energy. I am happy with my lifestyle and would not trade it with anybody else. It makes me feel free and I know I am going towards the right path, meaning the one towards what I want to achieve.

Don't be afraid to dig into what you truly want and take actions to make them happen.

If your loved ones don't understand and disagree, then this is not your problem. In the end, it does not really matter what they think, they are not you. The best fight you can start is towards the life you wanna build for yourself.

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Don't be afraid to embrace your sensuality

For hundreds of years, sensuality has been related to sexuality. And even if both can be connected (when you learn to develop your sensuality, you learn to appreciate your body the way it is, which opens up your sexuality), sensuality can have a much bigger impact than leading to sex:

It helps feeling liberated!

What is sensuality?

If you Google it, you will read the common definition of sensuality is:

The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

But sensuality is also defined as the ability to feel in touch with all our senses: touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste and any extrasensory perceptions beyond our five commonly recognized senses.

If sensuality is often interpreted as sexuality, it is because of that one thing they have in common. PLEASURE. What can be more difficult to understand is this notion of pleasure: some things can give you sexual pleasure and others can be pleasurable without sexual desire.

Sensuality can increase your sexual behaviour but can also be about enjoying simple pleasures, such as watching a sunset, flavourful food, a massage, a perfume or any particular smell, a yoga pose, feeling the sun on your skin… Anything that makes you feel amazing in the moment but isn't related to sex.

Why is it important to embrace it?

As women we heard it all:

“Be polite. Dress up properly. Be a good girl!" they say.

Most of us have been told to never be too loud because people will think we are hysterical. We have been told to not take too much room otherwise we are just showing off. Neither to show too much skin because we are whores if we do. So we cover ourselves up, forget how to be in touch with our femininity and let our true essence disappears. And for what? Well just to please others and fit in a mold.

Not loving our whole-self enough leads to frustration, jealousy and sadness. How can we expect to be happy and live the life we want, when we are filled with all those negative feelings?

Well, learning to grow that sensual side we all have is a way to start feeling in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence and trust in others. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition (I'll take two of those please… how can you say no to that!).

How can you develop your sensuality?

When at peace with our whole-self, we are less likely to feel stressed in our every day life. We also don't feel the need of external validation: what people can think of us does not matter anymore. It creates a new level of self-love!

So, are you tempted to start caring about your sensuality? Or to develop it even more than you already do? Well, we do… Just writing this blog post makes us curious about what is next on our sensuality list!

So far, here is what we do to cultivate sensuality:

• Boudoir photography:

  Surprise! We might be biased but this his a huge part of our life, so we cannot talk about sensuality without mentioning the art of boudoir. Come on, can you think of a more powerful tool to develop your sensuality than boudoir photography: having (pardon our french) the balls to pose half naked -or naked- and still feel badass and empowered… ? That's what we think :)

• Pole Dance & Aerial Silk:

  You maybe saw us online or heard us talk about those two acrobatic activities. They are tough to do and painful but man, it's worth it! They are both incredible for flexibility, strength and core. We train with music, create our own choreography to work on our sensuality and sexiness.

• Stretching:

  Anything that is related to movement has a positive impact on sensuality. Gifting your body with more flexibility is very important for our physical and mental health. It keeps the muscles flexible, strong, and healthy, and we need that flexibility to maintain a range of motion in the joints and keep our body moving. We don’t know for you guys but we wanna become sexy and healthy grandmas!

• Food:

  Big foodies here! We are both from France, so let us tell you that you how much food means to us. France has a fabulous culinary reputation and it is for a reason: french cuisine is all about flavors, forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas. We learnt to educate our palate, so when we try exquisite food, it can feel like non-sexual orgasms.
  

• Makeup (Juliette writing):

  I associate sensuality with femininity and confidence. Makeup has always been a great tool for that in my opinion. I have fun with it by creating different looks depending on how I feel. It makes me feel confident, stylish, like I have my life in order.

• Twerk (Fanny here):

  Twerking was my most recent sensual discovery. I always wanted to learn this dance, mostly to have fun but also because I like testing things that are not well accepted in our society, things that can seem provocative. I took one class and I was on my butt -french expression to say it blew my mind- :). I would have never expected to fall in love with it. You put all your energy and movement around your hips which makes you feel so powerful and sexy.

Now you just have to go for it!

“I never thought that sex was wrong, sinful, dirty. When you take away the thought of things being dirty or forbidden, then you can really enjoy your sensuality.” Gioconda Belli

We see sensuality as a way to experience a deep peace with ourselves, to feel alive and fulfill. So if you embrace it, it makes you feel like you can do anything.

The world become your oyster.

And guess what?! When you feel like you can do anything, you actually start doing stuff that make you happy and 100% yourself. It is like a magical kick in the bum!

You know what, let's make it a little challenge: find a new way to bring your sensuality to the next level, before the end of the month.

It does not matter the activity you are using to grow that sensual side of yours (sexuality, dance, food, …), the most important thing is to do it for YOU.

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Boudoir Photography = a step back from feminism?

One of our first radio interview covered the relationship bewteen boudoir photography and feminism. A sociologist was brought on board to discuss the impact on publishing your boudoir photos online and she had a pretty strong opinion about it (even though we do not agree with it, we believe it is important to listen to other's point of view and understand why people can think differently).

If you'd like to watch the interview and read the article (in French), it's here.

A quick reminder.

We won't go over in details why you should do a boudoir session (because we did it here) but to recap, we think that the best reason to do it is because you want to treat and/or challenge yourself. It is the perfect opportunity to showcase your confidence, welcome your true self and slam the door on everything that has held you back.

Posting sexy photos of yourself online = seeking attention?

During this interview, we were asked why our models were sharing their photos online. Our main argument is that, you Scandals post them because you are proud of them, and proud of yourself. The second argument is that, we do like receiving support from others. It feels nice to get positive comments from friends, family and sometimes strangers.

Every time our clients share their pictures from their session on social media, they get a lot of positive comments from people supporting the movement. They even inspire people to do a same or at least be more loving with their body.

If social media can get more positive messages and encouragement, we don't know about you but we are down!

The point of view expressed by the sociologist in this article was pretty concerning. From what we understood, she thinks the fact that more women want to show themselves in lingerie is risky and is not a way to claim our feminism. She adds:

"Why should every woman show themselves? I see it at a regressive phenomenon."

Not Ashamed.

By definition, feminism is wanting to get the same rights as men, period. We think that dragging feminism and politics in this interview didn't make much sense with boudoir to begin with. We are assuming the idea behind it was that, as women, we cannot expect to be taken as seriously if we were to post sexy pictures of ourselves online.

Boudoir photography is getting more and more popular for one reason: women (and men!) are finally saying "screw it" to inaccessible beauty standards and are encouraging self love and acceptance.

Boudoir is a way to celebrate yourself, why would you hide it? Don't get us wrong, you have every right to keep your photos private. But you also have the right to share them without losing points in the feminism column.

Less professional because of boudoir?

If you have been following us for a little while, you must have seen that we are mainly using ourselves for our advertising, in lingerie, and even tasteful nudity.

Does that make us look less professional to you? Do you even remember it when you see us face to face? No. What sticks is the message behind it: you can do whatever the hell you want.

The other photographer, Sarah, says at the end of the video that she admires women who share their photos online because it motivates others to do the same and will become more and more normal.

“We don't have to worry about what people think because it does not define who we are.” she added.

Man, we cannot agree more! You are not less professional because of your boudoir photos. It has absolutely nothing to do with your work performance, the way you interact with people, or whether you like broccoli or not. If anything, you were just brave enough to openly say you are proud of yourself.

You do not need to explain your choices to others. Do a boudoir shoot if that makes you happy, share your pictures with the world if you want to… At the end of the day YOU are the only one who decide what is the best for your beautiful self!

And if you don't feel ready (yet!) to do a boudoir shoot with a professional, then start with an homemade one. We have created a fully detailed online program so you can take your own pictures with just your cellphone, at home, in your own time. This is the perfect opportunity to get familiar with the boudoir photography world!

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How tantric sex coach Pamela Horner reclaimed her power - Scandaleuse X Shedoesthecity

Let us introduce you to the powerful Pamela Horner, a Tantric Sexual Empowerment Coach who wants to help people have “epic orgasms” (put your hands up you wanna learn… we sure do!).

This article is part of our collaboration with She Does The City & Womanizer, in which we help them feature fierce AF womxn in boudoir photo shoots.

“As a woman in recovery for sexual trauma, Pamela’s journey to get to where she is today is both harrowing and inspiring. She has spent a lot of time healing from her past, and now directs her energy to helping other people reclaim their sexuality.

”I made it my mission to help people reclaim their inner God/Goddess in order to own their power and pleasure.” 

The work she does with clients help them gain confidence in all facets of their lives.

Gorgeous is one word we’d use to describe Pamela’s photos, but they also exude a warm and peaceful energy—a sense of ease. A fascinating person with a generous heart, we were curious to get to know Pamela more…

How would you describe your sexuality?

I would describe my sexuality as bi-sexual.

How did you reclaim your power?

I discovered that sexual power was the key to feeling alive, confident, magical, and it even helped me make money. When I figured out how to use this power for good, to help people reawaken their most shamed, neglected lost parts, everything started to transform not only for me, for my clients as well.

I literally went from wanting to end my life, feeling numb, worthless and empty to feeling powerful, magical, radiant and influential, able to command the love, relationships and income that I desired. 

What is tantric sex, exactly?

Tantra is about connection and presence… it isn’t inherently about sex, but its teachings allow you to see and experience deep pleasure in the present moment and transmit that feeling to another, if you so choose. It helps you to reconnect to deeper levels of bliss.

Sounds amazing, how do you help people get there? 

I help people step into their power through one on one coaching. Everyone is born powerful, but along the way we receive messages that we are ‘less than’. We can fake confidence for most of the time, but in heightened states of vulnerability—like sex—there is nowhere to hide. This is where a lack of power can show up as a lack of arousal, or not being able to ask for what you want—feeling unfulfilled, or even uninterested in pleasure. 

I truly believe that the reason that people don’t have the love, money, or pleasure that they want is because their mind and nervous system believe that it is unsafe for them to expand beyond what is familiar. This is really deep work but when you are able to access the primal self, diving into the deepest level of your unconscious mind, you can experience radical change in your life.

What types of people do you help through your Tantric Sexual Empowerment coaching?

My clients are typically successful entrepreneurs that know they are destined for so much more. They’ve had moments of being so close only to find that there is something they are missing… that something is the connection to their deepest most hypnotic power – sexual power.

What advice do you wish to give your younger self?

As long as you are trying to seek approval, you will never taste true power. True power exists within you and you have always had it.

Happiness, desire, pleasure and delightful deviousness are all a part of your true essence. The only way to hold onto these things is by diving into yourself, getting to know yourself, and understanding that loving yourself is not something anyone would ever look back on and say “I wish I didn’t do that”.

Also, I love you, you are a fierce fucking warrior Goddess and you are here to turn the world on.”

Curious to learn more about Pamela? Follow her on Instagram at @theawakenedaphrodite. See more of our Womanizer x Sheoesthecity boudoir shoots here.“.

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Painful intimate conditions we should talk about more.

If I had the opportunity to read the following blog post when I was in my darkest time, it would have made me feel a lot less lonely. Maybe it would have allowed me to heal faster. So I hope this will help you.

Here goes: I have had UTIs and vaginal infections for as long as I can remember. Here is the fun part: everytime there is no bacteria, nothing "wrong" medically speaking to justify them. Stress-triggered apparently. 

I went through years of medical tests to find nothing. I wasn't even taken seriously half the time. There is nothing much online besides telling me to shove cranberries down my throat and eat probiotics. No guidance, no help. 

"Most women get those".

It is damn true: every single time I have mentioned it to a woman, she also shared her own intimate struggle with me too. It's like we all suffer in silence.

But just because most of us have to deal with annoying conditions like these doesn't mean it should be swept under the carpet and not spoken about.

Those conditions can make you spiral so bad and end up seriously affecting your everyday life. For years, that's all I could think about. Every time symptoms start to show up (as recently as last month), this vicious cycle of fear that I am screwed for the rest of my life and that it will never go away begins. 

Do I follow the basic " how to avoid-UTIs” starter pack? Please, if there was a competition for the best users, I'd probably win. No douching, pick the right underwear, drink tons of water, pee after sex, nothing too tight, all of those have been part of my daily routine forever.

So yeah, a few weeks ago after a few months of peace, right on my birthday, boom, it began again. I started with the medical consultation, got antibiotics I probably didn't need, and it made it worse.

During a late night internet search with hope to find some relief, I came across some comments from women such as "I have been dealing with these for 40 years". And it hit me: there is NO WAY in hell I will have to struggle for decades. 

Obviously, my intimate adventures are due to something going on beyond a physical level. It's a way for my body to handle stress or even share a message with me. Better start trying to find another approach. 

The quest of alternative solutions. 

A little disclaimer here: I know my body pretty well as I started having bacteria-free UTIs when I was 6 years old. Everything I share here is based on my own experience. Don't avoid medical attention in your case unless you are 100% sure of what you are doing.

Here is what I used to do:

• Panic google search any type of condition or remedies to try to put a label on it

• Not talk about it because I was ashamed of it and thought I could handle the spiralling alone. 

• Being angry at my body for f*cking up.

• Being scared of sex. More particularly pain during sex and fearing that I would disappoint my partner. So naturally, I left him out of what I was going through.

Here is what I tried this time, after breaking down:

• Noticing patterns: when did I feel the worse symptoms? I noticed they usually didn't show up when I was distracted or busy. Good point.

• Talked to my partner. Guess what, he understood. Of course he freaking did. 

• Freaking breathe. I made relaxation a priority a little bit more every day by stretching, meditating, working out, anything that simply felt right. 

But the most interesting thing I tried this time: I treated myself to a healing session with a Reiki practitioner.

Last year, I started reading more and more about alternative healing, the role of energies and the Universe. While I don't believe in everything I read, I kind of take whatever feels right to me. 

During the healing session, I asked Tiffany, the healer, to focus on this area of my body, to see if maybe she saw blocages or could get any guidance. And it got very interesting. A lot of useful information came out of this session, but I think the biggest one that clicked in my brain was when she talked about my balance between masculine and feminine energy.

Masculine VS Feminine energy

To explain it simply: each of us have both masculine and feminine energy. Just like the Yin and the Yang, they complete one another.

The masculine energy is more about "doing", being square and on a mission to accomplish things. The feminine energy is about "being", flowing through life, living your emotions. 

Backstory: I have always been a very controlling person. I am a planner, I am super rational and a goal achiever. To-do lists are my jam. I need structure to avoid stress, or so I thought.

What Tiffany saw during my session was that my feminine energy was tiny compared to my masculine energy which was acting like a bodyguard to protect me. Guess what is the center of the feminine energy in women? Pelvic area. Bladder, womb, vagina.

The conclusion was that since my masculine energy was off the chart, my feminine one had no choice but "firing up" down there to show its presence. By learning to let go and surrender, I could start healing myself.

Note that I was pretty much bawling my eyes out on that table, I had no doubt that this revelation was true.

The good news? Tapping into your feminine energy is super fun. It's all about not planning, indulging, going with the flow, moving around, being creative. I also tried Yin Yoga, which is supposed to help you reconnect with this specific energy and I couldn't believe the positive impact it's had on me. I also read this article that was pretty helpful (note the #7 of the list by the way eheh)

I started giving myself a break and forgiving me for thinking my body was doing something wrong.

When I start feeling pain, I take a moment to recenter, take a deep breath and let my feminine energy know that I hear her, she is safe, I am safe, and I am here for her. I tell myself that I am letting go, I relax my jaw (automatically, that's where I start tensing up). And it works. It just freaking works. Slowly, the symptoms disappear and I have spent my first few days in MONTHS symptoms free. 

Honestly, I am proud of myself for going out of my way to learn more about me. I'm getting close to my 30's and thought I knew myself 1000%. Turns out I didn't and I like what I am learning now. 

If you have been dealing with UTIs, yeast infections, intimate pains… know that you are not alone. Know that you can find relief. You may have to try different things before finding something that works. Follow your instinct for what YOU think is good for YOU. 

Looking to try the healing session I did? Reach out to Tiffany here!

Take control of your self-image

Originally written for The Beach Psychotherapy in Toronto

We never see ourselves the way we really are. And that could be okay if we didn’t have a tendency to turn towards negative feelings about our own image. Let’s be real, rare are the people who don’t fall into self-criticism.

Three years ago when we started Scandaleuse Photography, we didn’t know how much we would help women struggling with their self-perception. Women that can’t stand looking in the mirror and end up avoiding them at all costs. Women who think they are never good enough or who got their self-respect stolen from them. Women who feel stuck, who lack the amazing feeling of accomplishment that gives you butterflies and the motivation to keep growing and improving.

Because the relationship you have with yourself starts on the physical aspect and can impact everything else in your life.

Your femininity is a source of positive energy you need to tap into.

First things first: you are not alone. At least 1 out 5 Canadian women are not happy with the way they look. That is huge. There is a certain pressure society lays out for us that implies, or rather screams at us, that the definition of beauty is to be thin and flawless. Seeing this very day, It is very difficult not to compare yourself to these standards and feel miserable if you think you don’t match them.

You are your best ally and your worst enemy. Getting in touch with yourself is essential for a positive mind growth and it starts with celebrating your own kind of beauty and femininity, your way.

That’s right, your version of being feminine. Because there isn’t just one perfect way, you can twist it and morph it making it your own.

Let us tell you a little story. When we photographed Lea, she told us she refused to see herself as attractive. She could see it through her partners’ eyes, but couldn’t believe it from her own perspective. Through her session, she finally managed to see that she was beautiful with every aspect of her body. Things she had considered “flaws” such as, “her asymmetrical breasts, soft belly, cellulite and hair”

Sometimes you need to see yourself from another pair of eyes to ditch the distorted image you have of yourself.

If you have one day in which you feel even a tiny bit good about yourself, channel it 500% and use it as a constant strength. Because while we all have moments when we feel not so good about ourselves, we also have days when, hey, we’re actually okay. It could be as simple as having a good hair day or a little success like changed that light bulb that had been burnt out for months. Take this feeling, hold it tight and nurture the hell out of it.

Take Katie as an example, a lovely woman with a physical disability. She decided to not let this get it the way and to celebrate her true self. It started slowly, one step at a time with a better diet and focusing on improving her range of motion. She put herself on a good path, wanting to make of her goals come true: showing it to the world. That’s when she called us. She said it herself “I am ready to challenge what people expect. You are not invisible, you are worthy.”

What about when someone stole and damaged your self-love?

This is Erica’s story. Erica suffered from the hatred of a man, a family member for years. While she managed to escape, it wasn’t without consequences: this experience completely destroyed her self-esteem. She told us she didn’t have control of her own image anymore. We met completely randomly and she gathered the courage to challenge herself with a boudoir session.

It wasn’t easy. We saw her shake, hesitate and even tear up but she did it. Posing in front of the lens made her realize that the qualities she was admiring in others were also part of her.

She was able to win back what she thought was gone forever and shout out to the whole world “I will never feel ashamed to be me anymore.”

This feeling of accomplishment is a great push to keep going, you end up craving it and you’ll do anything to keep creating and experiencing it.

The truth is: once you get the courage to show yourself and vulnerable in lingerie in front of “strangers”, you’re left with an empowering feeling of “I can do anything”.  Everyone needs to challenge themselves on different levels. It makes you want to keep going, it helps you grow and become more assertive, thus more confident. You end up creating a cycle of positive vibes which will lead you to move mountains.

Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend, because after all, YOU are your best friend. If there is one thing you need to take away from this post is that you only have one body and one mind; it’s YOURS to make use out of it.

If you feel like spending time with us on a Sunday morning with pastries & coffee, join us on March 22nd for our new workshop “A guide to trusting yourself” ! Sign up below to get the deets!

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How facing your body image can help your personal growth

While the personal development and body-positivity movements are growing everywhere online, rare are the people truly at peace with their bodies. Hell, can we even be comfortable with how we look 100% of the time? We don't think so. But for some of us, it gets to a level of maximum ignorance. You dodge mirrors as much as possible, you don't "waste time" putting thoughts into your looks, after all, you have other mountains to conquer, you want to grow, and that happens in the mind right?

But what if we told you that no matter how much work you put into climbing those mountains, you will end up stuck at some point in your growth, your search of happiness, if you don't connect with your body?

If you want to feel completely fulfilled, you will have to also prioritize your connection with your body. No need to read a zillion miracle morning books and start random routines just yet if you can't face yourself to begin with. 

Do you recognize yourself in one or more of the following situations:

Avoiding your reflection

You're a master at avoiding to look at any type of reflection in your everyday life. Mirrors are just a practical thing for you to make sure you have nothing stuck in your teeth, but it doesn't go beyond. Frankly, it just makes you uncomfortable to look at yourself, so just like an ostrich, you would rather dig your head in the sand rather than having to deal with our own image.

You look, but it just makes you sad. 

Nothing is good enough with you. You're not this enough, or too much of that. Maybe you are even ashamed, or embarrassed about your physical appearance. You spend your time comparing yourself to others or even older versions of yourself.  

Worrying too much about your appearance is just superficial or even narcissistic.

Looks are not everything, you don't need to impress anyone after all. Overall, you think you are pretty neutral about your appearance. You do the bare minimum because you have to, but that's pretty much it. 

Let's be honest: if you are not facing your own image and simply looking at yourself, it's not because it's so much fun like a day in the park. You're avoiding it because it hurts to do so. 

So if any of these situations speak to you, it is time to change.

What happens if you don't connect with your body:

Can you grow? Yes. You can start setting yourself up for whatever you wish you to become or do. But here is the catch: you can only grow to a certain extent and you will get stuck at some point. 

To break it down easily, if you are not literally facing yourself because any situation stated above and if you are not taking the time to make peace with your body, you are telling yourself that on some level, that you are just not good enough or not worth it. This often happens completely unconsciously, which makes it even more sneakier. And what happens when we think we are not good enough? We deny ourselves opportunities because we don't believe we will be up for them anyway. 

In conclusion, by not connecting with your body, you are setting limiting beliefs for yourself. Again, that can be completely unconscious. 

Time to get real (you can do this!)

Let's rip off the band-aid right here: you can't avoid yourself forever. You only have one body carrying you through life and you are responsible for it. If you tend to be negative about it, it will make you pay one way or another. Plenty of studies have shown that negativity directed towards yourself and your body can lead to health risks in the long term. Better start giving yourself some lovin'! 

When you look good, you feel good.

While some of us think it is superficial to focus on your looks, we think there is a lot of untapped power by not doing so. Wearing your favourite clothes, getting dolled up, taking care of your skin, moving your body… all of these create a powerful feeling of being unstoppable. Why not tap into that as much as we can? Don't forget, this is about YOU, not others. All of the decisions regarding your preferred options about your appearance belong only to you.

You don't have to impress anyone. 

That is true, but you should try impress yourself. Taking care of your relation with your body and taking actions for it should not be about other people. It should be for your own sake, to your own standards. And even more so, you should create your own validation and not depend on others. I had a very poor sense of self-worth until the first time I fell in love. My boyfriend back in the day saw what I couldn't see: that I am a freaking beautiful person. I was over the moon until the relationship ended. All of that self-worth built through this left with him and I had to start again from square one. It took me a heartbreak to start building my self-worth by myself, for myself. Validation from others is a temporary good feeling, it doesn't stick. At the end of the day, you are the person you spend the most time with.

You are not alone

• Raise your hand if you have ever looked at old pictures of yourself and thought "wow, I thought I was so much fatter/thinner back then that I actually was!". 

• Keep your hand up if you have ever heard coming from others that you are not seeing yourself the way you really are.

• Don't get a cramp, but hold that hand high if you have ever beaten yourself up over flaws you think you have, beyond rationality.

Well, welcome to the club of body-dysmorphia: being incapable of visually seeing your body the way it actually is. For some of us, it can become obsessive and very challenging in life. We strongly suggest to read this article if you think you may suffer from body-dysmorphia. 

Learning to embrace who you fully are is the best gift you can ever give to yourself. 

This is how you develop your own trust and how you stand up for yourself. You owe it to yourself to create the path towards who you want to become.

Take some time to reflect, be grateful for this body of yours, supporting you everyday. Nourish and strengthen it the way it needs. You will see that it will remove SO many blocks you didn't even know you had, and make more room for all of these beautiful ideas hidden in the back. And if you need a little bit of help, we are here for you…

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5 tips for a successful first solo trip

As you guys know, last December one of the Scandaleuse boss ladies booked a flight to Costa Rica for her first solo trip. Let us tell you it was a blast… I can now say I actually prefer to travel by myself than with people, it was such an unforgettable experience!

It can be scary at first but like anything in life, if you have the desire to try then put your fears aside and do it!

When it comes to the topic of traveling solo, many fears appear mostly about safety. You hear it from the media, your friends and family: “It is unsafe to go travel by yourself!”. No it is not, but it can be if you are not careful. Here are few tips for a successful first solo trip:

Play it safe

As a first time you want to make sure you will enjoy it, especially if you are not an adventurous person. My suggestion is first to:

• Choose a country which speak your language, not being able to communicate can make your trip a nightmare.

• Don't go for too long, you don't have to leave for 3 weeks if you don't feel it (don't do like me neither, I made the mistake to go for only 5 days and that was way too short). I would suggest to go from one week to 10 days.

• Make sure to stay close to civilization. One more time, if you are not adventurous chose the city over the wildness of nature. You want to make sure to have people around you in case of emergency.

• You don't have to tell strangers you are traveling solo, especially as a woman. Pretend having friends or family with you if that can make you feel less like a target.

Don't act like a dummy

When you read about people's experience, you hear few nightmare stories that can be pretty scary. But most of the time bad things happened to people who put themselves in the worst situations. When you travel by yourself don’t take stupid risks, it is not worth it! Always have your ID with you, don't get wasted in the street or unsafe places and don't accept candies from strangers!

Be prepared for the worse

You do have to think about what can badly happens but without scaring yourself off. Just be prepared to any possibility:

• Have a photocopy of your travel documents and a virtual copy accessible through your phone.

• Know the closest hospital in each of your locations.

• Have a plan B for transportation and accommodation.

• Give all your trip's details to your emergency contact.

Solo travel is not only for men

Get that idea inside head, yes women can solo travel too, we just have to be a little bit more careful than men. Follow your guts, do not trust too much and do not make yourself vulnerable.

Don't have expectation

Stop thinking your trip is going to be perfect, because it will not and it is fine! You have to accept little flaws which are going to happen during your trip.

Organization and safety are the keys for a successful first solo trip. I am not saying you have to be a control freak and stay in your hotel the all time, but just the minimum of care for yourself. I can promise you your trip is going to be unforgettable.

Open yourself to people and you will make new friends from all over the world. I can promise you, you will not get bored during your trip and you will never be really alone. Now go travel and make it incredible!

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How to plan a successful business trip

Having the freedom to work in other countries is our main goal. We work hard to be able to fly Scandaleuse Photography all over the place and meet international Scandals. This business trip in Paris was our first one and we do not plan to stop here! 

So why don’t we do it more often? Well it takes a lot of time, organization and it is kind of tiring. Those business trip are wonderful but far from being a vacation…

Do you like the idea of a business trip? Here is what we learned from our first one:

Organization is key

Tip #1: If there is one thing for sure, a business trip has to be planned a good year in advance.

What are you looking to get out of this trip? When are you leaving? When are you coming back? Where will you stay? Do you speak the language from the country you’re going to? There are too many factors to take in consideration, so it cannot be done last minute. Plus, the earlier you start planning, the cheapest your travel tickets will be!

The first step is to make a second business plan (#entrepreneursnightmare). You need to know exactly what is your goal: have a clear idea of what you are looking for in this business trip. What is your strategy?

Find the perfect city

Tip #2: Picking a city you are familiar with already helps.

Once you know your goal, you need to figure out which city is the most appropriate for your business trip. Look for the country first: do you want to stay where you live so you do not have to travel much or do you prefer a little adventure across the ocean? In both cases, if you go back to a city you have already been to, it will feel less overwhelming. You will know the areas where to stay, maybe even a few people you can crash at. Don’t forget about the language spoken there, we are both bilingual in French, so it made our lives a lot easier.

Find clients

Tip #3: be smart on social media and the world is your oyster.

Remember, you start on a new territory where people probably never heard about you. Do not expect to have clients throwing themselves at your business and begging to give you their money, you will have to reach to those people. As mentioned previously, social media is a great way to get in touch with potential customers, it will be your best asset in this new adventure. If you are not sure where to start, you can create a survey on social media and see where you have the most chance to get clients, who knows, your followers may be located in one specific area.

Don't kid yourself, making profits is a priority

Tip #4 : You have to do some serious budgeting, don't take this slightly. While you are away, you will be unable to book anything in your home town for a certain amount of time. You wouldn't want to come back home penny less, right?

Even though traveling for business is fantastic, it will involve some important costs. Accommodation, food, transportation, and you will want to enjoy yourself a bit too there. It won't be a vacation, you will not have the time to really rest and enjoy it fully from a tourist perspective. Just like working from your own country, you need to make money out of any projects you work on. I am not talking only about enough money to reimburse your trip but actual profits! Hours will be long, the planning above will take a lot of time, and you have to eat. (I don't know about you, but I like food, eating is nice and my rent ain't gonna pay itself).

Bonus: Jet lag can kick you hard.

Tip #5: Avoid travelling when there is a time change.

We never thought it would be so difficult to adapt ourself after 2 time changes. When we arrived to our home country, there was already a difference of +6 hours with Toronto, then a couple of days later France changed time. The same pattern happened again when we came back to Canada… Second time change! It knocked us out and took us 2 weeks to get back to normal.

You now have the good recipe to start planning a solid business trip. Good luck! As far as we are concerned, we will focus on Canada for a bit, before aiming for another european country.

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Entrepreneur life - The importance of taking a break

Our summer, while pretty amazing, is also a bit overwhelming. Our shoots, a business trip to France to organize, the boudoir and wedding editing a bridal show to get ready for, a lot of new scandals to meet and our upcoming, it is keeping us busy. And you know us, we do not plan to stop there!

With everything on our plates, we have less time to take care of ourselves. It feels like our bodies are taking a hit, our aerial silks level is in a free fall, we are hairier than Chewbacca and our dinners are mostly made of pasta and cheese... It is time to take some me-time!

Working for yourself: Beauty and the beast

The positif side

We all dream to enjoy our life and have fun while the money magically appears in our bank account. If you want to be able to follow your own schedule, make your ideas come to life and take a vacation whenever you want... Well you wanna be your own boss. In other terms, you want to create something on your own and be free financially. I believe working for yourself gives you more chances to get to that goal rather than working for a company other than yours.

The side effect

But this need of freedom requires A LOT OF WORK. This is why, as an entrepreneur, it is very difficult to take the liberty of having a 9 to 5 schedule. Especially for us, Juliette and I live together and work together from home. Our personal and professional life is all mixed up so it is quite difficult to have a regular schedule (and it is not something we truly want). But in this case you have to be careful this lifestyle does not become more of a curse than a blessing. Without realizing it, you start working everyday from early morning to late night, think about work almost all the time, forget to take days off and eventually you burn out. 

Even though you love what you do, being all the time in a business mode is stressful and ends up by being a poisoned gift.

How to find the perfect balance

Force yourself to chill the hell out.

You and only you can decide to take a break from work. Feeling overwhelmed and being too stressed out will eventually make you weak and sick. Trust us, you will be more productive if your body and spirit are fully rested.

Day off is your ally

If you cannot or don't feel like taking some vacation, then take at least one day off per week. For at least one day, do not think about work, do not open your emails, do not connect on your social media. Instead spend time with your loved ones, go in the nature, cook or bake, watch some movies or tv shows, catch up with friends, paint, read, make love... Those little pleasure are super important if you want to be healthy and happy.

Not everything is urgent

Our biggest problem? Thinking every tasks needs to be done as soon as possible. The truth is, when you actually look at your to-do list, a lot of things can wait an extra 12 hours before getting done. Don't get us wrong, we don't encourage you to procrastinate, just to prioritize what is actually on a strict deadline and give yourself a breather for your other duties.

Ask for help

If it is too difficult for you to disconnect from work, then ask a friend or family to help you with this task. People will be more than happy to spend time with you and be here to remind you today is your day!

One of our solutions? Borrow your friend cottage for three days in Tiny Ontario, buy two bottles of wine, cheese and dessert, get naked and enjoy the weather! 

Our three days break was very relaxing even though it wasn't 100% work-free. But it is a beginning and we remind ourselves everyday that... a lot of things are actually not that urgent.