How boudoir shoots increased our confidence on every level

Since we opened Scandaleuse, both of us have been posing in boudoir settings for many reasons. To know what it actually feels like, to have content to share with our community, to be creative… But we often forget to talk about how it actually changed us too. There is definitely a before boudoir and after boudoir, even for us.

The expectations VS reality of boudoir.

Boudoir is usually thought as something you do for someone, likely a partner. People get in the mindset that they have to illustrate somebody else's fantasy, only to benefit them. We don't agree with that.

Boudoir should be done for yourself first. It's a way to get quality time with yourself, reclaim your body, see it in a new light. It's a chance to just exist without judgement and expectations. And it comes with long lasting effects you wouldn't know until you try. Even ourselves didn't know that before stepping in front of the lens. We have now been posing for 5 years and can confidently share all of the beautiful changes boudoir have done for us.

The given: we feel beautiful.

There is a lot of power behind feeling beautiful. A new energy emanates out of you, everything around you just feels lighter. It already feels wonderful in a regular setting but imagine feeling beautiful without your clothes on, which we aren't told to even think about. Now that's unlocking the next level of feel good vibes for sure!

The removal of negative body vision.

Rare are the ones who can tell they absolutely love their bodies. And who can blame us? We grow up naturally comparing ourselves to others and to beauty standards shaped by society. When something is not considered “beautiful", we are told to either hide it or to work hard to improve it. It is very easy to end up with a very negative vision of our appearance that follows us for years. For many of us, it even turns into body-dysmorphia.

Seeing our bodies repeatedly on photos without clothes on showed us what our bodies actually look like, and that is far away from what the crappy vision we had.

Don't get us wrong, it was scary at first, even for us. But what a slap in the face it was to see our bodies in an objective light. Turns out our "flaws” were not that flawed.

We are not afraid of our "sexy” sides anymore.

If you were to ask us 10 years ago if we thought we were sexy, we would have awkwardly laughed and say absolutely not. It was just inconceivable to even think it. Another prejudice we deal with: wanting to feel sexy, while being completely natural, is "wrong” so we just avoid it.

Doing boudoir photoshoots showed us that:

1. Feeling sexy comes in many many ways, very few of them are even being related to sex and none of them are related to pleasing someone else.

2. There is SO much power behind this feeling. Looking at our boudoir photos make us feel strong and badass as hell.

3. We had been severely missing out on it.

Deconstructing the shame around something leads to turning it into confidence. And that works for anything.

What about the impact on the confidence then?

Tapping into all of these points has led us to a pretty rock solid confidence in ways we didn't even imagine:

• Reclaiming our bodies made us shut down the negative voices of our surroundings and instead focus on what WE feel good in and show it.

• Boudoir has successfully and positively forced us out of our comfort zone. This made it a lot less scary to try other experiences like that we didn't think we would ever try.

• Doing something that is considered shameful or frown upon by many and, again, ending up having a wonderful outcome has not only removed a lot of our fears but also comforted us in all of our choices afterwards. Even when people disagreed, even if it was unconventional. We just realized we were a lot strong than we thought.

After all, isn't confidence about having a "no fucks given” energy?

We went from shy, insecure beings to free, empowered and proudly sensual women. To this day, we use our boudoir shoot as reminders when we feel down or discouraged. These versions of ourselves were always there, they were just quiet and hard to uncover. Now, we hold on to them tight and cherish them.

And you should too. Set yours free and let it shine.

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The social aspect of boudoir photography

Juliette and I have never been part of those people who work only for money and security. We need our work to follow our personal values, and we want to contribute to make positive changes in our society. We are not saying we are changing the world but on our level we are creating positive impacts in our clients’ life, and we try as much as possible to spread awareness on social issues we care about.

Boudoir photography is our way to do so!

Such a transformative experience

When we opened Scandaleuse Photography 6 years ago, we wanted to showcase the beauty of the woman body in an artistic way. We build a community and stayed in touch with our Scandals. We were amazed to hear and read what our past clients were saying about their experience with us and how transformative the shoots were for them. Some of them told us they ended up toxic relationships, others quitted their job they did not like anymore… Witnessing those people changing their life because posing half naked in front of our lenses gave them the courage to do so, is a true honour for us and it gives us a feeling of purpose.

If you never try boudoir photography, it might be difficult to understand how a shoot can help someone feel more confident in their life to a point where it makes drastic changes. Let us explain:

Boudoir photography is not like any other type of photography (at least, the way we do it). It is rare to meet people who feel 100% confident in their own skin and who accept their body fully the way it is. Most of our clients are first timers, and the idea of posing in lingerie (or naked) in front of photographers can be nerve wracking for them. It takes a lot of courage to make yourself vulnerable and try something new that makes you feel nervous. So when you finally do a boudoir shoot, feel good showing your body in front of people you don’t know, and find yourself beautiful in those pictures, this experience gives you the wings to keep pushing yourself to do other scary things.

We like to stay that once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else in life can stop you 🔥.

People’s backgrounds & stories

Being boudoir photographers also gives us the chance to meet incredible people who are going through tough times in their life.

Some of our clients were in abusive relationships that completely destroyed them and they were looking for ways to build back their confidence and reappropriate their body. We work with transgender people who are fighting to exist in the gender they wished they were born with, when society doesn’t make it easy for them. We had clients who are dealing with breast cancer and wanted to immortalise their body before it changes. Few years ago we took pictures of a woman who was in a wheelchair, and wanted to celebrate herself and showcase that even if you are disable you are still a sensual human being.

Listening to so many life stories and seeing our clients fighting so many battles makes our work as boudoir photographers reach another level that we truly love. It is not about just taking beautiful pictures but helping people feel amazing about themselves.

This social side of boudoir photography makes our boudoir photography business so important to us, and we cannot wait to see where it will take us!

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We opened our first studio

Back in 2017, two little French women decided to leave their full-time jobs in Toronto to start what had been a dream for many years: open their own boudoir photography business. Filled with ambition and willpower, they've given it everything and have built the small empire brick by brick, hoping to, one day, reach their next dream: having their own studio.

Now in 2024, we are very proud to say that we have finally started this adventure and now have our home away from home.

What were we doing before?

You are not without knowing that the renting market in Toronto is getting worse every day. Back in 2017, it was already the case and definitely out of reach for a sprouting business. Since we couldn’t afford our space, we were just renting multiple ones on a shoot by shoot basis.

We are not going to lie, it was pretty neat and we are keeping this option available to us even now. It's been a great way for us to keep our creativity up high, to adapt to our clients’ vision and just enjoy somebody else's place.

But after 7 years of business and 11 in Canada, we grew tired of not finding our own vibe.

Combining missing home and our new adventure

It took us a good 6 months to gather the courage to venture in the commercial rental world. Having the same business model for so long made us feel comfortable and safe but also… bored. During the summer of 2023, it was pretty clear both of us had lost our spark and we needed to find it again.

Funny enough, we had some rough ideas of the layout of the studio we initially wanted: open concept, bricks and beams, industrial… But when we actually visited the one we are in now, a completely different vision just manifested itself. Scrap it all, we are going to create multiple rooms with a strong, authentic, Parisian aesthetic. And we made it happen.

If you don't know it already, we are both originally from France. While we love the life we’ve built in Canada for the past decade, we were getting to a point where our homesick episodes were sneakily showing up more often than not. We'd been missing our roots and its aesthetics for a while and having this space to remind us of home has been a blast so far.

Creating your own space VS renting different ones

Yes, we have only had our space for only a few months, but already, the perks we have noticed are pretty amazing.

1) The freedom to transform the space the way we want to.

We have created 3 different rooms and 3 different vibes, and we didn't have to depend on somebody else's vision.

2) Nobody is living in it, so it is fully adapted for creators.

The majority spaces we used to rent were real people's lofts, so naturally, they have their lives in it and plenty of not-so-pretty things, like every living space has.

3) No more worrying about finding the right place at the right time.

It was always quite a stressful aspect of our job: our clients have a limited schedule and lofts get booked often. As if this wasn't challenging enough, we've also had a couple of nightmare situations when the landlords “forgot” we were coming and ghosted us when we were at the door with our clients.

4) We can make a mess!

We didn't expect this to be such a perk, but before, we obviously had to put the place back exactly the way we found it, so we were juggling between shooting and cleaning up as we went. On our space, we have all the time in the world to put it back together afterwards, which allowed us to extend our time with our beloved clients.

5) We can rent it out to other creators

This is a freshly new endeavour we’ve taken: our beautiful apartment is available to rent by the hour for any type of creators! It's so cool to be able to give what we were given for so long.

What about the downsides?

With every new adventure comes some uncomfortable feelings and not-so-fun aspects. Fortunately, we only see a few downsides compared to our previous ways.

1) The rent.

Of course, we now have an official extra rent on top of our personal ones and let me tell you, that's a good pressure on our shoulders. It's not just about sustaining ourselves anymore and it's the first time we've had to deal with this. To make a business grow, you have to take some risks, but it doesn't stop the fear it brings.

2) The possibility of getting bored…?

Being used to shoot in different spaces, we considered before taking on this project that, maybe, we would get tired of our space. Now, of course it is too soon to tell, but even so, we feel it will be very easy to counter, as we have the freedom to do whatever the hell we want.

Hopefully it stays this way (and hopefully we can pay rent ha!). We are very excited to share more with you about this beautiful space and how our vision came to be. Stay tuned…

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5 tips to get ready for your boudoir shoot

You gathered your courage and finally booked your boudoir shoot? Yay, congrats!
So… now what? Do you just wait until your date and wing it?
Well, you can, but you can also do a few simple things to make the most out of this experience and enjoy it even more.

The shoot itself is an amazing experience, but preparing for it is also so much fun! It IS really nice to think about your outfits, your vibe, your looks.. It builds up the excitement, gives you some butterflies… All of the good stuff!

So, if you are looking for those butterflies and are not sure where to start, here are 5 simple ways to get ready for your boudoir session:

1) Look online for inspiration

Chances are, you probably did that before even inquiring, but if so, keep adding to it and if not, time to get some Pinterest out of you! Grab a glass of wine and get browsing! Search what boudoir means to you, think about some atmospheres, themes, poses and lighting you like and pin away! Not only it is a super fun process, but it is helpful for us as well as photographers to know what makes your heart sing.

Extra tip: Don’t worry about finding people who look like you, this is a vibe we are looking for, not photos to copy and paste. Try to ignore the poses as well, a lot of the ones we find online are performed by super bendy people and often edited in post.

2) Start working on your posture

Yep, time to straighten that back! Not only for aesthetic reasons, but also because adjusting your posture makes you stand tall and brings up confidence. Boudoir is all about making that confidence shine, so let's take it everywhere we can!

Extra tip: No need to overthink it, simply practice bringing your shoulder blades closer together and picture a thread pulling you from the top of your head. Et voilà!

3) Plan your outfits

Oh this is a goodie. Contrary to popular beliefs, you don't necessarily need to wear standard lingerie for your boudoir shoot. If anything, we are more looking for outfits you feel amazing and beautiful in, as it is very easy to bring a boudoir twist to clothes.

Any outfits can be turned into a boudoir one. What matters is what makes you feel like YOU. That's what we want to capture. So if you want to rock some lace, by all means, go for it, but if you are feeling more of a joggers/loose t-shirt vibe, then it is awesome too! Have fun with it!

Extra tip: Plan a solid top 3 of your favourite outfits and bring extra, even some bits and pieces you aren't sure to do what with. Chances are we may see something you haven't. If you need more inspiration, we wrote a blog post about the 5 best props we've seen on shoots, you can read it here.

4) Practice in the mirror

With you have a full length mirror at home, it is time to put it to use! Take a moment to try on your outfits, see what poses you like, check what your favourite parts of your body are and even if you have a preferred side. This little exercise, especially if boudoir is a bit challenging for you, will only make your session easier.

If you feel like you would just be hard on yourself, then ditch this step, focus on the others and just follow our lead the day of. For some of us, it can be difficult to face ourselves and keep it positive and that's okay. We will do it for you!

Extra tip: we have a complete online guide to experiment with boudoir at home and its costs is 100% redeemable on your boudoir session or package.

5) Prep a playlist

It is no secret that music leads the mood. It helps you relax and makes you feel like the main character in your story! All of our lofts have speakers ready to connect with your device, so have fun creating a playlist that makes you feel like the badass and sexy being you are!

Extra tip: check out our Scandaleuse playlist on Spotify! We have a bit of everything to get those good vibes out of you

Now you have all the tools you need to get beautiful ready for your boudoir shoot! Enjoy the pre-shoot process as much as you can, it is a big part of your experience, it would be a shame to miss out on it!

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5 fears stopping you from doing a boudoir shoot

A boudoir photoshoot is a powerful experience, way beyond pretty photos. It's an opportunity to boost your confidence, reconnect with yourself and give yourself well-deserverd quality time. But it is a vulnerable experience and it feels quite intimidating for many of you.

Let's dive in and debunk the 5 most common fears that might stop you for treating yourself to a boudoir shoot.

Fear #1: You don't have the "right” body.

Being surrounded by unachievable beauty standards in the media and social media making it incredibly easy to compare yourself to others, this is not a surprise that many of us think we would need to look a certain way in order to pose without clothes on. Too fat, too thin, not this enough, too much there, it is hard not to get lost in it! But that's exactly why boudoir is needed: to put an end all of this bullshit.

There is no right body. There are just bodies. They come in all shape and sizes and one kind isn't better than the other. Yours is great the way it is, because it is yours. It's been supporting you for many years and deserve some love and recognition for doing so. Wrinkles, stretch marks, scars, they all tell a story: your story. And that’s good enough.

And no, you don't need to lose weight before a photoshoot!

We actually don't recommend changing your body before a session, especially short-term. Otherwise, you risk looking back at those photos months later feeling like it is not you and that's the opposite of what we want! We want you to see your photos as a reminder of how beautiful you are with the body you have, and to remind you of this great confidence you have. That kind of magic stays forever!

Fear #2: Not feeling like a "sexy" person.

Again, we have been conditioned to think that it means one thing and one thing only: to provoke desire for somebody else (usually, for the male gaze…). Some things are sexy and some things aren't and that is it.

Well… it isn't. Being sexy is a feeling first, not a look, and it comes in many ways. It's an energy that makes you feel confident, badass, and sensual and there isn't any ultimate definition for any of these. You can feel sexy changing a lightbulb or wearing fancy lingerie.

Since it is such a versatile feeling, everybody can be sexy. You can make it your own so easily, don't be afraid to tap into it!

Fear #3: Not knowing how to pose.

Wait, you mean you don't know how to pose accordingly in a photography concept you've never tried before? How dare you!

Of course you don't know, and your photographer shouldn't expect you to! It's already hard enough to pose for simple family photos as it is! A good photographer will guide you through every pose and set. You shouldn't even have to think about it. All of our clients are first-timers, and it is part of our job to guide them to highlight their body and beauty during a session, not theirs.

Fear #4: Not feeling like yourself.

In traditional boudoir, some sort of lingerie is often involved. Well, we don't believe in tradition so it opens a lot more doors.

What you should think of when thinking of outfits is what you feel good in first. What outfit makes you feel confident? Beautiful? What are those pieces you got that made your heart skip a beat that you haven't gathered the courage to wear yet?

That's what we are looking for. A boudoir twist is very easily applicable on any oufits.

Of course a classic set of lingerie is an option but you can think outside the box and go for example with:

• Bodysuits of any kind;

• Jeans, joggers, overalls;

• Cosplay and themed outfits

• Loose tshirt, sweaters;

• Dresses of any kind, robes, outfits rated as "too much”;

• And much more as you can see here!

Fear #5: Where will those photos end up?

This one isn't related to body and mindset, but yet oh-so important: what happens to the photos afterwards?

Some people don't care at all using their photos online, but for the majority of people, having those photos around somehow is just not an option. In our case, this is a decision you let us know before we even book anything, and we just put it in writing and follow your lead. Our photos are delivered via a private gallery that you can delete afterwards on your end. We have had also many people asking us to delete the images from our hard-drives once the session was completed, and we just… do it. Don’t hesitate to ask questions prior to booking anything and if they aren't answered clearly, this is a red flag.

Everyone should try boudoir photography at least once in their life. There is a before and an after in this adventure, with many more perks that you wouldn't even think of. Take the leap, challenge yourself and you won't regret it.

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Badass Female Photographers - Diane Arbus

Hello Scandals! We are very excited about this new category we created for our blog posts: Badass Female Photographers. The idea is to write several blogs about those female photographers (well known or forgotten by history) who shaped the world of photography.

We are businesswomen, but first and foremost we are artists, so creating this blog series takes us back to photography school and satisfies the artist within us!

For this first blog, let us introduce you to Diane Arbus 📸

We used the following sources for the facts stated in this blog: Wikipedia, Arts Help, and The Art Story.

Diane Arbus holds her 1962 photograph: Child with toy in Central Park.

She was an American photographer who was famous for her incredible B&W and intimate portraits of marginalized communities. I, Fanny, personally love her work (it is my dream to, one day, buy one of her photograph). From the moment I discovered her art, I got fascinated and inspired by her artistic vision and images! What I find incredible about her work is the fact that she dared to move away from social barriers and prejudices in order to document the life of those who were called “freaks” (people with dwarfism, circus performers, giants, gender non-conforming people…).

"She was fascinated by people who were visibly creating their own identities—cross-dressers, nudists, sideshow performers, tattooed men, the nouveaux riches, the movie-star fans, and by those who were trapped in a uniform that no longer provided any security or comfort." - Arthur Lubow.

Her work strongly influenced the way our world perceives people who don’t conform to our society’s standards and the importance of a proper representation of all people.

Tell me more about her!

Diane Arbus (born as Diane Nemerov) was born in 1923 in New York City.

She grew up in a wealthy family but was raised by maids and governesses since her parents were not deeply involved in raising her, nor her siblings (Diane's mother struggled with bouts of depression preventing her from intellectually supporting her daughter, while her father stayed busy with work). This lack of parenting pushed her to try separating herself from her family.

How did she become a photographer?

At the age of 18 she married Allan Arbus, who she was dating since the age of 14. Allan was working in the advertising department of Diane’s father’s fur shop, and he was the one who gifted Diane her first camera shortly after their marriage. With her husband, they opened their fashion photography studio in which Allan was the photographer and Diane the art director (she would come up with the concepts for their shoots and then take care of the models). She eventually grew tired of the unfulfilling commercial work and, with the support of her husband, end up starting her career as a solo photographer.

The main event in her life that triggered her curiosity for photography was her pregnancy with her first daughter, Doon, that she chronicled in 1945. She also took some photography classes with two famous female photographers (that we will also cover in the blog series) : Berenice Abbott and Lisette Model.

Diane Arbus - 1945 Double Self-Portrait with Infant Daughter, Doon.

The evolution of her art.

She started her portraits journey by wandering the streets of New York’s and taking pictures of strangers, stolen moments her subjects did not expect. She kept her distance at first, not meeting eyes with her models.

But rapidly, Diane felt compelled to get closer to the people she photographed, and focus on the one living an unconventional life. She would befriend her subjects, connect to them in a unique way, and photographed them in intimate settings such as their homes. The power of her images, beside the subjects themselves, is the fact that she would make them look directly at the camera and being the centre of each photograph.

“As her works evolve her subjects begin to knowingly face the camera, her photographs become almost provocative with vulnerability. Her subjects are emotionally exposed to the point of nakedness, their eyes staring directly into the camera.” - Kaiya Malik.

Many have thought that her work was an extension of her childhood and personal suffering, feeling oppressed and like a social outcast within her own community!

A controversial photographer!

Diane Arbus - The Albino sword swallower and her sister, Md.

Diane Arbus received a lot of critics, either positive or negative. Some people, like me, were fascinated by the choice of the models and her approach, seeing her art as a way to show marginalized groups as humans instead of “freaks”.

But not everyone would agree with her vision. Some people would see her work as something perverse, she would be called a “voyeur” by some critics, while others would doubt the fact she viewed her subjects as social equals. She was seen as a free-spirit (which wasn’t a compliment at that time) and got a reputation that she was sleeping with some of her models.

Her battle with depression.

Diane Arbus experienced "depressive episodes" during her life, similar to those experienced by her mother, and committed suicide at the age of 48 (1971), by ingesting barbiturates and cutting her wrists with a razor. She wrote the words "Last Supper" in her diary and placed her appointment book on the stairs leading up to the bathroom, her body was found two days later.

"I go up and down a lot. Maybe I've always been like that. Partly what happens though is I get filled with energy and joy and I begin lots of things or think about what I want to do and get all breathless with excitement and then quite suddenly either through tiredness or a disappointment or something more mysterious the energy vanishes, leaving me harassed, swamped, distraught, frightened by the very things I thought I was so eager for! I'm sure this is quite classic." - Diane Arbus ( letter wrote to a friend in 1968).

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5 reasons to do a boudoir shoot you wouldn't think of.

Many traditional reasons come to mind when thinking of doing a boudoir session. Offering the photos as a gift for a special someone, celebrating a milestone, challenging yourself in lingerie… All of these are very valid reasons, but today, we wanted to share extra ones you may have never thought of.

1) Getting to see yourself as Art.

Let's be honest, getting images of yourself you are in love with is hard. We are definitely our worst critique, and are not shy to talk down to ourselves. When we do find said photo, it becomes the only one we refer to when needed.

While you should get some photos you like during a professional photoshoot, we think a boudoir photography session - when done properly and with the right photographers 😉 - gives you way more than that.

You are dealing with actual artists. People who will see beyond your physical appearance, who won't even notice anything you are insecure about and will create a whole concept, light, set around who you are to, finally, translate it all in actual art pieces. When done right, you will end up with images you will want to stare at forever.

2) The long lasting effect on your confidence

One of the biggest reason to do a boudoir shoot is to increase your confidence. But what people don't know is that this confident boost is not showing only during the photoshoot: it sticks with you for a long time afterwards.

The confidence brought out during a boudoir photoshoot will shine on many other areas of your life. You will stand taller. You will dare to do more things, take more room, make bigger decisions. It replenishes your self-trust, and god knows we can all use a layer of that.

3) Bringing light on sides of yourself that don't get to shine often

Between adapting ourselves to others, fighting our own insecurities, dealing with beauty standards, not daring to wear what we want, our brains are polluted with restrictions we apply to ourselves. During a boudoir shoot, you can just let go of all of these and have fun exploring and bringing out those sides of yourself.

Feeling like wearing a sexy cocktail dress while holding a glass of whisky despite living your every day life in corporate outfits? Go for it. Do you want to wear a victorian tulle robe just for the hell of it? Yes please. What about that badass harness you would never dare wearing in public? Bring it.

A boudoir photoshoot is a judgement free zone. If anything, it is encouraged to be creative and more importantly: be extra.

Give yourself a chance to be sensual, to try different looks and illustrate the different facets of your personality!

4) For fun and quality time with yourself.

Since boudoir can feel vulnerable and intimidating, it is very easy to forget that it is actually fun. For a couple of hours, no one is asking anything from you besides just letting loose, and that's REFRESHING.

5) Help a great cause

Last but definitely not least: you can actually make a difference in a specific cause, by picking a specific photographer.

We have the best example to give you at the moment: for the whole month of October, we are giving 10% off our session fee and donating a portion of the proceeds to the Pink Ribbon Boutique, a store that specializes in prosthetics and lingerie for breast cancer survivors.

If you were looking for one last push before booking a shoot for yourself, know that you can help a breast cancer survivor purchase a prosthetic with your booking.

Follow this link for details or click on the button below!

The time we stopped dreaming big

Wanting to start your business usually means to have some dreams. Even more so when you are a creative as it is very likely you are linking your passion and your job together. That's what we did 7 years ago when we opened Scandaleuse. We had a plan, our heads were filled with dreams bigger than us. While we have accomplished some, we realized not too long ago that we unconsciously gave up on many in the process.

How the hell did it happen to begin with?

1) The pandemic.

This is definitely the biggest reason of it all. Everybody's world went upside down, and like many other businesses, we saw our work possibilities crumble and our future extremely uncertain.

The pandemic made us enter a survival mode: we couldn't actually work and we didn't know for how long. Once we got slightly out of it, starting to work some bigger dreams was completely out of the question: we had to recover from our losses and we had to do it fast. On top of it all, it's also left us with the reality that nothing is really that stable, and that's the perfect recipe to develop self-doubt.

2) Our ideas weren't doable to way we wanted to initially.

Back in the day, many of our big ideas were a lot more accessible. For example, getting a studio on our own was not that out of reach with the growth we have been having pre-pandemic. Since the inflation entered the chat, this idea started crawling away and instead of reshaping it and adapt it, we labeled it as "impossible” in our brain and we… ignored it. Until some feelings started creeping in…

The consequences on our well-being

It is pretty safe to assume that, if you don't work towards something bigger and more exciting than what you are currently doing, your mental health takes a hit.

Our productivity, our drive, our creativity and even the confidence in our ability went down. We were stagnating in our growth. But the worst was this small feeling of emptiness settling in our minds without us noticing. Then it grew bigger and bigger, leading us through one existential crisis after the other. What are we building and where are we going were the 2 key questions floating around. At some point, we had to face the fact: we just didn't allow ourselves to dream anymore and it needed to change.

How we got out of it: the mindset shift

The first step was to acknowledge and make peace with the reasons stated above. Then, we had to understand that we were thinking about some ideas backwards. The biggest one being that we needed to reach a certain amount of cash flow before executing bigger projects. Of course, you need to, to a certain extent, but the reasons above made us forget that you also need to invest money and take risks to… make money.

We also starting talking to our closest friends and loved ones. While we expected to have to deal with discouraging comments - mostly because we were giving them to ourselves - we were pleasantly surprised to hear than everybody was excited and positive. Even better, they gave us some options we didn't even think of.

Slowly, the fear barometer lowered and the confidence one increased. And the butterflies in our stomach have started to come back.

Now what?

We have decided to work on getting a proper space for Scandaleuse. It is truly outside of our comfort zone, but the feeling of excitement it gives us makes it worth it already. While it probably won’t be easy, we have no doubt that we will have a beautiful space ready to welcome all of you and host many more projects we have had in mind for years.

It is such a nice feeling to let yourself daydream about what you can do and we are strong believers in the fact that it is going to unblock some dormant energies we haven't seen in a while…

Thank you for following us in our entreprenarial journey. We cannot wait to share more with you!

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Let's talk about consent!

Guest post by Eden Wine - Mindset Consultant

 With the advent of the “Me Too” and “Times Up” era, we must learn the nuances of “Consent” so we can best equip ourselves to effectively navigate our relationships.

It’s time to create a clear definition of what consent means to us, and it’s important to:

• understand our rights when it comes to giving and receiving consent;

• solidify our true introspective understanding of our personal boundaries; and

• learn about and respect how to best support other people’s boundaries. 

HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ALLOWED YOUR BOUNDARIES TO BE CROSSED FOR THE PURPOSE OF PLEASing OTHERS OR IN THE ATTEMPT OF “FEELING BEAUTIFUL”? WELL I HAVE.

When I was 14, I suddenly became well endowed in the derriere department. Now, given the location of this development, I was completely unaware of its existence. I only came to know about my “ass-et” because of my male peers. When walking down the hallway of my high school, adorned in a school uniform, I was consistently greeted by unsolicited slaps, grabs, and fondles. I wasn’t even able to acknowledge this new part of my body before it was claimed by others and objectified. Since this was one of the first experiences I had in my developing body, I was trained to think that this behaviour was acceptable.

As a young teen, I was quickly learning that it was okay for me to be caressed without consent. This, however, is not true.

We, as humans, have exclusive rights to our own bodies.

It is our fundamental obligation to define boundaries for ourselves and to feel comfortable and assured when voicing such boundaries. We are not owned by anyone and no one is entitled to us or any part of us. In fact, the right we have to our own bodies is grounded in and protected by law.

HOW ARE OUR RIGHTS PROTECTED?

The Constitutions and Criminal Codes of many (if not most) developed countries have specific and designated laws that are geared towards protecting the sanctity of consent. Now, I’m no expert in the laws of the world at large, but I know Canada very carefully preserves the notion of consent into its legislation and case law. For example, section 273.1(1) of the Canadian Criminal Code dictates that sexual activity is ONLY legal when both parties consent and where “voluntary agreement” is obtained. Both parties means BOTH parties. In fact, the “two to tango” phraseology has never been more apropos. Sure, there will be nuances in courting and dating when flirting plays a role though subliminal and subtle body language, but that does not dismiss the importance of ensuring that BOTH parties are consenting and, even more than that, consenting the WHOLE time. 

LET’S THINK ABOUT AND DEFINE OUR BOUNDARIES AND RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S BOUNDARIES TOO! #PlatinumRule 

Consent is truly grounding yourself in your beliefs and saying “yes” when an activity  (any activity really) feels right without a shadow of a doubt. This could apply to any sexual encounter or even as something as simple as a hug.

For all people alike, the onus is on us to:

• know and learn our boundaries;

• feel secure and confident in our ability to voice our boundaries; and,

• to inquire and respect other people’s boundaries. In the end, it is each of us who have exclusive rights to our own person and it is our obligation to protect such rights with the entirety of our being.

DISCLAIMER

Eden Wine is presently a non-practicing lawyer. She was called to the Ontario Bar in June 2018 and has since been a member of the Law Society of Ontario.

The content of this article is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal or other professional advice or an opinion of any kind. Readers of this article are advised to seek specific legal advice by contacting independent legal counsel regarding any specific legal issues. Neither the author, nor Scandaleuse Photography warrant or guarantee the quality, accuracy or completeness of any information in this article or on Scandaleuse Photography’s website. The content of this article is current as of the original date of publication, and should not be relied upon as accurate, timely, or fit for any particular purpose.

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Grief, rediscovering yourself and newfound confidence

Back in 2019, we met the fabulous Hallae for one of our boudoir shoot and we had the pleasure to shoot with her 2 more times :)… It is always nice to take pictures of the same Scandal over the years and see their transformation!

A few years ago, she was interviewed by She Does The City to talk about how the loss of her mother shattered her; and how, amidst the grieving process, she’s had to devote time to rediscover herself. Hallae is such a badass human being and today we are super happy to share this interview with you 😁

2019 - Hallae first boudoir shoot with us!

How would you describe your sexuality?

After my mom’s death and the breakup of a long-term relationship shortly afterwards, I didn’t feel sexual at all. But then I saw my body in some Knixwear photos and saw the comments, and that broke down one barrier: my body wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

But there was a second barrier: my sexuality had been put on hold for so long. That was until I allowed myself to take the improv route and say yes to whatever this new particular sexual partner suggested. I trusted him, and I was scared, but I was ready to say yes again.

And now, I may be well over 200 pounds, but I can’t help but feel like the sexiest woman in any room. I feel like I’m nineteen again, when I wasn’t afraid to try anything.

I may be almost thirty, but I’m back at the Stag Shop asking all the questions and buying that full-body fishnet stocking. In short, my sexuality can be described in one word: renewed.  

2021 - second fierce boudoir shoot :)

How did you feel at the beginning of the photo shoot?

To be honest, I had worked myself into quite the state prior to Juliette and Fanny’s arrival. The day before the shoot had actually been the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death, and part of the reason for having this the next day was to have a planned and almost concrete way to celebrate life. Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

However, I can’t express how quickly my anxiety dissipated when Juliette and Fanny entered my apartment. I had pulled a bunch of pieces of clothing I stared at blankly; they quickly identified three outfits. By the time I had changed, they had moved around pillows and chairs and tables, and all of a sudden my little apartment felt worthy of a photo shoot. And soon thereafter, they made me feel worthy of this photo shoot. They directed and displayed poses and had such a contagious energy. I was fully into it only a few clicks into the first outfit.

2022 - Third session. We asked Hallae what sensuality meant to her. This was the result!

What were you thinking about while it was happening? Did you have a particular mantra running through your head?

I didn’t have a particular mantra (besides “shoulders back, tits out”), but I was thinking of power.

I remember sitting on the floor in just a leotard and staring at the camera and having this moment where I felt so much more powerful than I had just a few moments earlier. Sometimes confidence is something that comes naturally, but sometimes we’re thrust into situations that force us to uncork that confidence.

It’s not always possible. But before the shoot I decided I was going to at least try, and I did. That was powerful for me.

What do you want to say to people who are currently lacking confidence, or feeling insecure when it comes to their body/sexuality? 

It would be easy to look at my photos and think, “Wow, she must be so comfortable in her body.” But now you know the truth. I was freaking out up until the moment the photographers walked through the door. Part of me believes that finding confidence in your body is sometimes consciously acting to find it. I’m not saying go out right now and take pictures in your underwear, but that’s one way to do it.

No one can convince you your body is beautiful without a bit of work on your part. (Though I’m still here to tell you: it is.) Have you seen it in a teddy yet? What about covered in sparkles? Drape your body in whatever your kink is. Then stare at it in the mirror, take photos of yourself, wear it on a date, wear it on a solo dinner. When that person comes up to you and tells you your body is beautiful, think about how hot you fucking looked, and agree with them.

Feel it. Own it.

That’s what I’m talking about when I say act consciously. Then fuck the shit out of them, with consent, of course :)

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Breast Massage For Sexual Healing And Getting Your Libido Back

The following is a guest post by Katrin, from katrinwithlove.com and @vaginismus.sisters.

If life has inconveniently initiated you in any sort of sexual liberation journey, then we have a lot in common.

I personally experienced painful sex and the protective body response of vaginismus (rhymes with Christmas) – a bracing and tightening of my pelvic floor muscles that robbed me of pleasure-filled gifts for more than 6 years…

Whether your story was ridden in pain, shame, numbness or anywhere in between, you've probably read plenty about the vulva and vagina in the process of claiming your sexual freedom.

It’s true. The ancient sex wisdom of Taoism confirms the intricate connection between the genitals and optimal functions of other organs and glands in the body. Creating harmony in these sacred areas of your body really is important in relieving tension and support physical and emotional healing.

But what about the breasts?

What purpose do they serve in your complete body system for physical and emotional healing?

What role do they serve in increasing your libido if that's something that has subsided for one reason or another?

Many of us have grown up ashamed of our breasts. They may have been the reason we received unwanted and uncomfortable attention.. Or we may have regarded them as just a necessary part of our female anatomy (but nothing more than that).

I personally grew up having a fairly BLAH relationship with my breasts.

They were there and that's about it - if anything, I had a perception of what beautiful breasts should look like, and mine weren't quite them. So it's safe to say my relationship with my lady bumps was MEH at worst and "ooh they look great in a push up bra" at best!

Starting to pay loving attention to YOUR breasts is a crucial part of getting your libido back and finding success in your sexual liberation journey.

Emotionally and energetically, when you find unconditional love for your heart space and breasts, you can tap into that sense of self-love and inner confidence that may have been energetically laying dormant under your layers of shame and indifference.

Even still, a vulva owner's sexual turn on STARTS in the heart centre represented by the breasts, gets strengthened by the cooperation of the mind and only then is felt physically in the genitals.

So it becomes important to bring your heart-centred turn-on online!

How do you involve your beautiful breasts in a holistic approach to healing?

Physically, that looks like stimulating them gently through breast massage to enhance the health of your heart, blood, lymphatic and hormonal systems.

Awakening the life force of the body as a whole to create sexual aliveness and sex drive.

The Tao of Sexology - The Book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr. Stephen T. Chang confirms that:

"From foreplay to pregnancy to nursing, the breasts are closely tied to the genital system, through nervous impulses, hormones, etc.”

"The delicate intertwining of numerous capillaries, nerves, lactation glands, lymphatic vessels, and other delicate structures of the breast are easily damaged by improper handling.”

Any damage to breast tissue can lead to accumulations and blockages.

These can then lead to lumps or, possibly, cancer. (The breast is so delicate that caffeine can cause lumps and cysts to form inside the breast, as was shown in recent studies.) If this should ever happen, the entire female reproductive system would be torn out of balance.

Therefore, the sensitive and easily over-stimulated breasts must never be mishandled by the woman or her sexual partner. A woman's partner should never bite, suck, or pinch the breast. Contact should be limited to a very gentle caress or kiss.

Even though more intense handling of the breasts can be very pleasurable for certain people, Taoism states that, for optimal full body functionality, and especially reversing the damage that may have already been created in the breasts, a gentle approach is required...

Here is a simple and gentle breast massage ritual that you can engage in to create a loving relationship with your breasts...

…And to enjoy all the physical benefits that come with it!

1. Ensure your space is free of distractions and feels safe so you can fully surrender and relax.

2. Make your room nice and cozy in whichever way feels right to you and lie down comfortably with your shirt off.

3. Warm up your hands by rubbing them together to promote blood flow and circulation. Have some massage oil nearby if you'd like, but don't use it just yet.

4. Place your hands on your chest, fall into a comfortable rhythm breathing into your belly. With a loving intention, connect to your heart as your listen to your heartbeat.

5. With your fingertips or nails, slowly and delicately start moving up and down your breasts, avoiding the nipples. This stimulates sensation on and beneath the skin, essentially waking them up.

6. Now put some massage oil on your hands if you'd like.

7. Press down on your armpit and release 5 times. This helps open and generate healthy flow in the lymphatic system.

8. As you keep breathing and with one hand per breast, continue more thoroughly massaging the perimeter of the breasts. Then move to the full breasts and only then the nipples. Make sure you are applying some more pressure now so you are stimulating the deeper breast tissue along with the skin.

9. Using one or both hands, move back and forth between breasts, creating movement across the mid-meridians of your body. This helps balance both hemispheres of your brain and create union between your masculine and feminine energies.

10. As you are lightly and intuitively continue touching your breasts, remind them that they are worthy of receiving love and pleasure.

11. After about 15 minutes or when you feel complete, come into a relaxed position and be present with whatever feelings arise from doing this exercise. You did it!

What did you notice? Did any feelings of shame, discomfort, or even suppressed memories come up?

If so, that's totally normal. They may have been part of your life for many years. With each breast massage practice, you'll become closer to fully allowing yourself to release the discomfort and make space for unconditional love and acceptance. You may even realize...

May the love for your body in its entirety bring you peace and a conscious awareness that ALL of YOU is beautiful!

Helpful tools

You can perform your breast massage ritual with your hands, or you can also incorporate the use of tools like soft fabrics, feather toys or tools using the healing characteristics of some of Mother Earth’s natural elements – crystals.

If the crystal option piqued your interest, it’s encouraged that you pick a crystal intuitively simply by feeling which one you’re naturally drawn to most. Where each type of crystal has a unique energetic property and vibration and therefore a unique subtle impact on your own energy body.

The crystal I felt called to use in my breast massage practice was fire quartz.

I later learned that fire quartz calms anxieties and brings clarity. Like with rose quartz, its nature is that it subtly inspires self-acceptance feelings of greater calm and comfort.

In the journey of reconnecting to your authentic eroticism, this can be incredibly helpful in reconnecting to a state of mental peace with yourself and your body.

When I used the crystal in my breast massage practice, I really enjoyed its firmness and the smooth, rounded shape. It felt like an added luxury to the kind of touch I could create on my body.

And still, there is something special about using your own hands in varied forms of touch, as well as feeling that skin-to-skin contact and connection. To me, a combination of hands and tools provides that variety that I’ve learned I crave in life (in all sorts of ways).

In any case, the invitation is to introduce a breast massage practice into your self-care and self-pleasure practices in any ways that feels right to you!

Look for any subtle nudge that helps you feel the pleasure of sinking into a slow-paced and gentle experience, which of course can always naturally turn into a passionate and intense one..

Of course, the intention is that you feel that deep appreciation for a part of your body that you may have been disregarding for years.

Here’s to the love your breasts deserve!

- Katrin, with Love

---

The parts of you who desire a life based in liberation, love and leadership can find a home in Katrin’s world..

As a sexual liberation mentor who has overcome painful sex and continues to support women in releasing the protective body response of vaginismus, Katrin has a deep understanding of how survival strategies of the mind and subtle protective mechanisms of the body can sneakily keep you from feeling like the incredible woman you are!

Katrin believes that your power is born out of your deepest pain and that the Liberated & In Love Woman within you already has all the answers to guide you in your personal reclamation in the realms of sex, love, relationships and entrepreneurship.. She is here to love you as you re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure and purpose. She gently calls you into your zone of genius and lifts you up as you bravely build your legacy from that place of aliveness and erotic overflow.

You can find her life’s work on her website katrinwithlove.com and on Instagram @katrin.with.love and @vaginismus.sisters

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Personal story - the search for the perfect birth control method

Disclaimer: In this post I am talking about my own experience and feedback about birth control methods. I am not a doctor and this should not be considered as legal advice. You should seek appropriate counsel for your own situation.

Today we are back with a blog on a more personal topic: birth control methods. If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to talk about our life’s experiences on topics people don’t necessarily talk about. We believe that talking about those things are a great way to remove the unnecessary pressure and clichés that surround them.

It ain't a walk in a park!

Fanny writing today by the way! In 2018, I was sharing with you why I decided to stop taking the birth control pill and switch to a non-hormonal copper IUD (the Intrauterine Device is a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that's put into your uterus to prevent pregnancy. It’s long-term, reversible, and one of the most effective birth control methods out there). Both Juliette and I tried it but we had different experiences. You can read Juliette’s opinion on the IUD here!

Even if I think it is much better than the pill, I unfortunately had to remove mine last year. In my opinion, the IUD is an amazing birth control method and I wish more people were using it. It can last from 3 to 10 years depending of the brand, it is more affordable than pill, and once it is inserted you have nothing to do beside checking every year it didn’t move. But it is not for everyone!

Let’s start by the beginning: the insertion. I have a good pain tolerance but the insertion was painful! My family doctor was the one to insert it and instead of opening the T part at once, she did in 3 or 4 times which made it extremely painful for me. I spent the rest of the day feeling unwell which is very common: strong cramps, headaches, and I also felt nauseous for a few hours.

The first year was ok-ish beside the fact I got a strong acne and had my real period (when you take the pill, your periods are “regulated”. You lose less blood, they are usually shorter, and less painful). But the longer I kept the IUD the more intense the cramping were, to a point that I almost passed out several times. It was also weird for me to have this foreign object in my body and I always had the impression I could feel it. Move forward 2022, I took the decision to remove it even though I had one year left. I could tell it wasn’t the right birth control method for me and since I wasn’t dating anyone it was the perfect moment to stop the process.

Now what?

I have been birth control free for a year now and I really enjoy it. But I am ready to date again and since I do not want to have any kids, I have to find a new one on top of using condoms. Unfortunately, my options are getting limited: I do not want to take any hormones, and I don’t wanna go back with an IUD. If you are wondering what other choices I have, here are the two options I am thinking of:

• Fertility awareness such as tracking my ovulation period using tools like my basal body temperature, or cervical mucus. I feel very excited to try this out but it also stresses me a lot. I love the idea of going natural and learning more about my body, but if it is not done properly then the chance of getting pregnant increases 😟

• Tubal removal procedure. This is an irreversible birth control method in which both of the fallopian tubes are being completely removed. This would be perfect for me since you cannot get pregnant with this surgery. The only thing that makes me think twice about it is that, depending of the person, it can make the period more painful than they usually are.

I already started to get information about this procedure. I talk to my family doctor first but she wasn’t very supportive and told me it is not something that is usually done in Canada. But I insisted so she sent me to see a gynaecologist and to my surprise she didn’t give me a hard time nor try to make me give up on the idea. I have read online that many doctors are against this surgery (unless you already had plenty of kids), because it is permanent and they have a hard believing people who say they don’t want children. I was ready to fight for my rights and the control over my own body but didn’t have to. She of course had to make sure I understood it is irreversible, but since I am very set in stones with that decision, and told her I was having a hard time finding the perfect birth control method, she put me on a waiting list to get that procedure done. Which gives me the time to do more researches!

Also the fact that my family doctor lied to me a little with her statement saying it is not common for people to do that here in Canada made me a tad angry. I can see why a lot of people are having a hard time finding doctors who respect their medical decision.

I have learned a lot about the tubal removal procedure and will probably write another blog to talk more about it.

We hope you enjoy this type of content! Even if those of blogs are not directly related to our work as boudoir photographers, it is an important part of who Juliette and I are, and the values we share. We make it a priority to be authentic, and we truly believe that if people were to talk more often about their everyday struggles and experiences, there will be less taboos around important topics and the world would be a better place!

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How to prep for your boudoir shoot

Congrats, you did it! You gathered the courage to book your boudoir shoot and now, the official preparation can officially begin! While it can be a little nerve-wracking, prepping for your shoot is very exciting and a big part of how confident and comfortable you will feel during your session. Here are some tips to help you get ready both for your mind and your body.

On the mindset side of things

Chances are, you are already in a "screw it, let's do this” mindset if you already booked your session, but if it was a little quiet, it's time to make it roar! Don't let your pre-shoot jitters take over and remind yourself of your "no f.. given” attitude. This is your time to let loose and have fun!

Leave your body alone!

More often than not, we hear "I need to lose/gain a few pounds before my shoot”. This is not the right way to go about it.

If you want to take advantage of this session to get a good balance in your life and feel your best, like managing your stress, set up better nutrition habits and movement and improve your sleep, all the power to you. But if you are going to kill yourself at the gym in hopes to change your body, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Let's say you do manage to trim or bulk up in time, chances are you will go back to your regular self shortly after your session. Getting your photos might get you excited at first, but after a little while, you may not feel so good about them and end up comparing your body then and now.

Your photos are meant to be a keep sake, a long-term reminder of how beautiful and confident you are, in your every day body. Just let your body be and place your focus other aspect of your session, like what oufits make you feel your best.

Choose your outfits carefully

When selecting outfits for your boudoir shoot, choose pieces that you feel comfortable and confident in. Don't be afraid to mix and match different pieces to create a unique and personalized look. We can do up to 5 outfits in one session, and we definitely encourage you to have different vibes to illustrate different facets of your personality.

They don't have to be regular lingerie either! Any outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, and we will help you style it as such.

Practicing posing can help

Even if it isn't your job to know what to do in front of the camera and that we will guide you through it all, it can be helpful to practice some poses at home in front of a mirror.

Don't worry too much about it, but don't be scared to experiment just a little, check some poses and angles you might like. It will make you feel more confident once you are in front of the lens.

A few extra quickies before we end this…

Prep a playlist

Music has a huge influence on our moods, so definitely make yourself a playlist of songs that make you feel sexy & confident!

Watch those tan lines!

Bad tan lines can really ruin a look and are pretty much impossible to remove properly in post-production. If you are planning on hitting the beach before your shoot, make sure to either use sunblock or sunbathe au naturel…

Gather some inspo

Whether it is for makeup, outfits or poses, don't hesitate to fall into a Pinterest rabbit hole and save anything that catch your eye. Dismiss the perfect bodies and poses and just focus on the whole ambiance of the shot. It is so nice to get inspired with other looks and for us, it is helpful to see where you head is at!

Follow those little tips & tricks and we guarantee you'll have the best session ever! We have plenty more tips & tricks that we share with all of our new clients and we are always happy to answer any questions. If you would like to connect, head over to this link!

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