The social aspect of boudoir photography

Juliette and I have never been part of those people who work only for money and security. We need our work to follow our personal values, and we want to contribute to make positive changes in our society. We are not saying we are changing the world but on our level we are creating positive impacts in our clients’ life, and we try as much as possible to spread awareness on social issues we care about.

Boudoir photography is our way to do so!

Such a transformative experience

When we opened Scandaleuse Photography 6 years ago, we wanted to showcase the beauty of the woman body in an artistic way. We build a community and stayed in touch with our Scandals. We were amazed to hear and read what our past clients were saying about their experience with us and how transformative the shoots were for them. Some of them told us they ended up toxic relationships, others quitted their job they did not like anymore… Witnessing those people changing their life because posing half naked in front of our lenses gave them the courage to do so, is a true honour for us and it gives us a feeling of purpose.

If you never try boudoir photography, it might be difficult to understand how a shoot can help someone feel more confident in their life to a point where it makes drastic changes. Let us explain:

Boudoir photography is not like any other type of photography (at least, the way we do it). It is rare to meet people who feel 100% confident in their own skin and who accept their body fully the way it is. Most of our clients are first timers, and the idea of posing in lingerie (or naked) in front of photographers can be nerve wracking for them. It takes a lot of courage to make yourself vulnerable and try something new that makes you feel nervous. So when you finally do a boudoir shoot, feel good showing your body in front of people you don’t know, and find yourself beautiful in those pictures, this experience gives you the wings to keep pushing yourself to do other scary things.

We like to stay that once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else in life can stop you 🔥.

People’s backgrounds & stories

Being boudoir photographers also gives us the chance to meet incredible people who are going through tough times in their life.

Some of our clients were in abusive relationships that completely destroyed them and they were looking for ways to build back their confidence and reappropriate their body. We work with transgender people who are fighting to exist in the gender they wished they were born with, when society doesn’t make it easy for them. We had clients who are dealing with breast cancer and wanted to immortalise their body before it changes. Few years ago we took pictures of a woman who was in a wheelchair, and wanted to celebrate herself and showcase that even if you are disable you are still a sensual human being.

Listening to so many life stories and seeing our clients fighting so many battles makes our work as boudoir photographers reach another level that we truly love. It is not about just taking beautiful pictures but helping people feel amazing about themselves.

This social side of boudoir photography makes our boudoir photography business so important to us, and we cannot wait to see where it will take us!

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We opened our first studio

Back in 2017, two little French women decided to leave their full-time jobs in Toronto to start what had been a dream for many years: open their own boudoir photography business. Filled with ambition and willpower, they've given it everything and have built the small empire brick by brick, hoping to, one day, reach their next dream: having their own studio.

Now in 2024, we are very proud to say that we have finally started this adventure and now have our home away from home.

What were we doing before?

You are not without knowing that the renting market in Toronto is getting worse every day. Back in 2017, it was already the case and definitely out of reach for a sprouting business. Since we couldn’t afford our space, we were just renting multiple ones on a shoot by shoot basis.

We are not going to lie, it was pretty neat and we are keeping this option available to us even now. It's been a great way for us to keep our creativity up high, to adapt to our clients’ vision and just enjoy somebody else's place.

But after 7 years of business and 11 in Canada, we grew tired of not finding our own vibe.

Combining missing home and our new adventure

It took us a good 6 months to gather the courage to venture in the commercial rental world. Having the same business model for so long made us feel comfortable and safe but also… bored. During the summer of 2023, it was pretty clear both of us had lost our spark and we needed to find it again.

Funny enough, we had some rough ideas of the layout of the studio we initially wanted: open concept, bricks and beams, industrial… But when we actually visited the one we are in now, a completely different vision just manifested itself. Scrap it all, we are going to create multiple rooms with a strong, authentic, Parisian aesthetic. And we made it happen.

If you don't know it already, we are both originally from France. While we love the life we’ve built in Canada for the past decade, we were getting to a point where our homesick episodes were sneakily showing up more often than not. We'd been missing our roots and its aesthetics for a while and having this space to remind us of home has been a blast so far.

Creating your own space VS renting different ones

Yes, we have only had our space for only a few months, but already, the perks we have noticed are pretty amazing.

1) The freedom to transform the space the way we want to.

We have created 3 different rooms and 3 different vibes, and we didn't have to depend on somebody else's vision.

2) Nobody is living in it, so it is fully adapted for creators.

The majority spaces we used to rent were real people's lofts, so naturally, they have their lives in it and plenty of not-so-pretty things, like every living space has.

3) No more worrying about finding the right place at the right time.

It was always quite a stressful aspect of our job: our clients have a limited schedule and lofts get booked often. As if this wasn't challenging enough, we've also had a couple of nightmare situations when the landlords “forgot” we were coming and ghosted us when we were at the door with our clients.

4) We can make a mess!

We didn't expect this to be such a perk, but before, we obviously had to put the place back exactly the way we found it, so we were juggling between shooting and cleaning up as we went. On our space, we have all the time in the world to put it back together afterwards, which allowed us to extend our time with our beloved clients.

5) We can rent it out to other creators

This is a freshly new endeavour we’ve taken: our beautiful apartment is available to rent by the hour for any type of creators! It's so cool to be able to give what we were given for so long.

What about the downsides?

With every new adventure comes some uncomfortable feelings and not-so-fun aspects. Fortunately, we only see a few downsides compared to our previous ways.

1) The rent.

Of course, we now have an official extra rent on top of our personal ones and let me tell you, that's a good pressure on our shoulders. It's not just about sustaining ourselves anymore and it's the first time we've had to deal with this. To make a business grow, you have to take some risks, but it doesn't stop the fear it brings.

2) The possibility of getting bored…?

Being used to shoot in different spaces, we considered before taking on this project that, maybe, we would get tired of our space. Now, of course it is too soon to tell, but even so, we feel it will be very easy to counter, as we have the freedom to do whatever the hell we want.

Hopefully it stays this way (and hopefully we can pay rent ha!). We are very excited to share more with you about this beautiful space and how our vision came to be. Stay tuned…

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5 fears stopping you from doing a boudoir shoot

A boudoir photoshoot is a powerful experience, way beyond pretty photos. It's an opportunity to boost your confidence, reconnect with yourself and give yourself well-deserverd quality time. But it is a vulnerable experience and it feels quite intimidating for many of you.

Let's dive in and debunk the 5 most common fears that might stop you for treating yourself to a boudoir shoot.

Fear #1: You don't have the "right” body.

Being surrounded by unachievable beauty standards in the media and social media making it incredibly easy to compare yourself to others, this is not a surprise that many of us think we would need to look a certain way in order to pose without clothes on. Too fat, too thin, not this enough, too much there, it is hard not to get lost in it! But that's exactly why boudoir is needed: to put an end all of this bullshit.

There is no right body. There are just bodies. They come in all shape and sizes and one kind isn't better than the other. Yours is great the way it is, because it is yours. It's been supporting you for many years and deserve some love and recognition for doing so. Wrinkles, stretch marks, scars, they all tell a story: your story. And that’s good enough.

And no, you don't need to lose weight before a photoshoot!

We actually don't recommend changing your body before a session, especially short-term. Otherwise, you risk looking back at those photos months later feeling like it is not you and that's the opposite of what we want! We want you to see your photos as a reminder of how beautiful you are with the body you have, and to remind you of this great confidence you have. That kind of magic stays forever!

Fear #2: Not feeling like a "sexy" person.

Again, we have been conditioned to think that it means one thing and one thing only: to provoke desire for somebody else (usually, for the male gaze…). Some things are sexy and some things aren't and that is it.

Well… it isn't. Being sexy is a feeling first, not a look, and it comes in many ways. It's an energy that makes you feel confident, badass, and sensual and there isn't any ultimate definition for any of these. You can feel sexy changing a lightbulb or wearing fancy lingerie.

Since it is such a versatile feeling, everybody can be sexy. You can make it your own so easily, don't be afraid to tap into it!

Fear #3: Not knowing how to pose.

Wait, you mean you don't know how to pose accordingly in a photography concept you've never tried before? How dare you!

Of course you don't know, and your photographer shouldn't expect you to! It's already hard enough to pose for simple family photos as it is! A good photographer will guide you through every pose and set. You shouldn't even have to think about it. All of our clients are first-timers, and it is part of our job to guide them to highlight their body and beauty during a session, not theirs.

Fear #4: Not feeling like yourself.

In traditional boudoir, some sort of lingerie is often involved. Well, we don't believe in tradition so it opens a lot more doors.

What you should think of when thinking of outfits is what you feel good in first. What outfit makes you feel confident? Beautiful? What are those pieces you got that made your heart skip a beat that you haven't gathered the courage to wear yet?

That's what we are looking for. A boudoir twist is very easily applicable on any oufits.

Of course a classic set of lingerie is an option but you can think outside the box and go for example with:

• Bodysuits of any kind;

• Jeans, joggers, overalls;

• Cosplay and themed outfits

• Loose tshirt, sweaters;

• Dresses of any kind, robes, outfits rated as "too much”;

• And much more as you can see here!

Fear #5: Where will those photos end up?

This one isn't related to body and mindset, but yet oh-so important: what happens to the photos afterwards?

Some people don't care at all using their photos online, but for the majority of people, having those photos around somehow is just not an option. In our case, this is a decision you let us know before we even book anything, and we just put it in writing and follow your lead. Our photos are delivered via a private gallery that you can delete afterwards on your end. We have had also many people asking us to delete the images from our hard-drives once the session was completed, and we just… do it. Don’t hesitate to ask questions prior to booking anything and if they aren't answered clearly, this is a red flag.

Everyone should try boudoir photography at least once in their life. There is a before and an after in this adventure, with many more perks that you wouldn't even think of. Take the leap, challenge yourself and you won't regret it.

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Badass Female Photographers - Diane Arbus

Hello Scandals! We are very excited about this new category we created for our blog posts: Badass Female Photographers. The idea is to write several blogs about those female photographers (well known or forgotten by history) who shaped the world of photography.

We are businesswomen, but first and foremost we are artists, so creating this blog series takes us back to photography school and satisfies the artist within us!

For this first blog, let us introduce you to Diane Arbus 📸

We used the following sources for the facts stated in this blog: Wikipedia, Arts Help, and The Art Story.

Diane Arbus holds her 1962 photograph: Child with toy in Central Park.

She was an American photographer who was famous for her incredible B&W and intimate portraits of marginalized communities. I, Fanny, personally love her work (it is my dream to, one day, buy one of her photograph). From the moment I discovered her art, I got fascinated and inspired by her artistic vision and images! What I find incredible about her work is the fact that she dared to move away from social barriers and prejudices in order to document the life of those who were called “freaks” (people with dwarfism, circus performers, giants, gender non-conforming people…).

"She was fascinated by people who were visibly creating their own identities—cross-dressers, nudists, sideshow performers, tattooed men, the nouveaux riches, the movie-star fans, and by those who were trapped in a uniform that no longer provided any security or comfort." - Arthur Lubow.

Her work strongly influenced the way our world perceives people who don’t conform to our society’s standards and the importance of a proper representation of all people.

Tell me more about her!

Diane Arbus (born as Diane Nemerov) was born in 1923 in New York City.

She grew up in a wealthy family but was raised by maids and governesses since her parents were not deeply involved in raising her, nor her siblings (Diane's mother struggled with bouts of depression preventing her from intellectually supporting her daughter, while her father stayed busy with work). This lack of parenting pushed her to try separating herself from her family.

How did she become a photographer?

At the age of 18 she married Allan Arbus, who she was dating since the age of 14. Allan was working in the advertising department of Diane’s father’s fur shop, and he was the one who gifted Diane her first camera shortly after their marriage. With her husband, they opened their fashion photography studio in which Allan was the photographer and Diane the art director (she would come up with the concepts for their shoots and then take care of the models). She eventually grew tired of the unfulfilling commercial work and, with the support of her husband, end up starting her career as a solo photographer.

The main event in her life that triggered her curiosity for photography was her pregnancy with her first daughter, Doon, that she chronicled in 1945. She also took some photography classes with two famous female photographers (that we will also cover in the blog series) : Berenice Abbott and Lisette Model.

Diane Arbus - 1945 Double Self-Portrait with Infant Daughter, Doon.

The evolution of her art.

She started her portraits journey by wandering the streets of New York’s and taking pictures of strangers, stolen moments her subjects did not expect. She kept her distance at first, not meeting eyes with her models.

But rapidly, Diane felt compelled to get closer to the people she photographed, and focus on the one living an unconventional life. She would befriend her subjects, connect to them in a unique way, and photographed them in intimate settings such as their homes. The power of her images, beside the subjects themselves, is the fact that she would make them look directly at the camera and being the centre of each photograph.

“As her works evolve her subjects begin to knowingly face the camera, her photographs become almost provocative with vulnerability. Her subjects are emotionally exposed to the point of nakedness, their eyes staring directly into the camera.” - Kaiya Malik.

Many have thought that her work was an extension of her childhood and personal suffering, feeling oppressed and like a social outcast within her own community!

A controversial photographer!

Diane Arbus - The Albino sword swallower and her sister, Md.

Diane Arbus received a lot of critics, either positive or negative. Some people, like me, were fascinated by the choice of the models and her approach, seeing her art as a way to show marginalized groups as humans instead of “freaks”.

But not everyone would agree with her vision. Some people would see her work as something perverse, she would be called a “voyeur” by some critics, while others would doubt the fact she viewed her subjects as social equals. She was seen as a free-spirit (which wasn’t a compliment at that time) and got a reputation that she was sleeping with some of her models.

Her battle with depression.

Diane Arbus experienced "depressive episodes" during her life, similar to those experienced by her mother, and committed suicide at the age of 48 (1971), by ingesting barbiturates and cutting her wrists with a razor. She wrote the words "Last Supper" in her diary and placed her appointment book on the stairs leading up to the bathroom, her body was found two days later.

"I go up and down a lot. Maybe I've always been like that. Partly what happens though is I get filled with energy and joy and I begin lots of things or think about what I want to do and get all breathless with excitement and then quite suddenly either through tiredness or a disappointment or something more mysterious the energy vanishes, leaving me harassed, swamped, distraught, frightened by the very things I thought I was so eager for! I'm sure this is quite classic." - Diane Arbus ( letter wrote to a friend in 1968).

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5 outfits you already have for your boudoir shoot

Looking to do a boudoir session but not feeling like going shopping for new pieces? Good news, you don't need to look any further than your own closet to find perfect combinations, whether you are looking for boudoir shoots for women, men or anybody else!

The priority: outfits that make you feel your best and like yourself.

There are two types of boudoir photography: the traditional one starring only lingerie and the more creative one starring anything you feel good in. We are fans of the latter, mostly because we believe that a boudoir session should capture your vibe and your personality. Not everyone feels super sexy wearing lingerie and that's more than okay. Any outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, you just have to show some skin! Here are some examples of pieces we guarantee you already have ready to go!

1) Evening attire

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to dust off your fancy clothes! Yes, many amazing boudoir shots can be done with formal clothes. For the ladies, a cocktail dress with a strap down, a slit, or even an open zipper will give an amazing femme fatale look. For the gentlemen, an open shirt, an undone tie with maybe a jacket will create this beautiful GQ style shoot.

Bonus: Also grab those one of a kind pieces you fell in love with but don't dare or get to wear! Those can easily bring a lovely twist to your photoshoot. For example: fur coats, anything sheer, sparkly…

2) Your favourite jacket of any kind

Blazer, leather jackets, trench coat… All of these make perfect options to shoot boudoir. Put any of those jackets with nothing under and you are guaranteed a very much badass look one way or another.

3) Your beloved pair of jeans

Jeans are so simple and yet, absolutely timeless for photoshoots. If you love the Calvin Klein atmospheres, you will love posing topless or with a bra with a pair of jeans. Simple, yet efficient,

4) Anything related to your hobbies

One of our personal favourites: take a little glimpse of your hobbies with you! Do you love painting? Bring your apron or covered-in-paint shirt for a spicy artist at work vibe. Do you play the guitar? You have a wonderful prop that doesn't require a very sophisticated outfit. This works for everything you can think of!

5) Your birthday suit

Last but definitely not least: your body is a look in itself! Trying suggested full or partial nudity will leave you feeling the most empowered you have ever felt. This is a decision you can make during your session and while it is not mandatory in a boudoir shoot, it is definitely recommended.

There you go, no need to frenetically shop before your session if you don't feel like it! Your boudoir session is a wonderful opportunity to be creative, so don't hesitate to think outside the box and have fun with your looks! In average, we can personally do around 5 different outfits, so don't be shy!

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5 reasons to do a boudoir shoot you wouldn't think of.

Many traditional reasons come to mind when thinking of doing a boudoir session. Offering the photos as a gift for a special someone, celebrating a milestone, challenging yourself in lingerie… All of these are very valid reasons, but today, we wanted to share extra ones you may have never thought of.

1) Getting to see yourself as Art.

Let's be honest, getting images of yourself you are in love with is hard. We are definitely our worst critique, and are not shy to talk down to ourselves. When we do find said photo, it becomes the only one we refer to when needed.

While you should get some photos you like during a professional photoshoot, we think a boudoir photography session - when done properly and with the right photographers 😉 - gives you way more than that.

You are dealing with actual artists. People who will see beyond your physical appearance, who won't even notice anything you are insecure about and will create a whole concept, light, set around who you are to, finally, translate it all in actual art pieces. When done right, you will end up with images you will want to stare at forever.

2) The long lasting effect on your confidence

One of the biggest reason to do a boudoir shoot is to increase your confidence. But what people don't know is that this confident boost is not showing only during the photoshoot: it sticks with you for a long time afterwards.

The confidence brought out during a boudoir photoshoot will shine on many other areas of your life. You will stand taller. You will dare to do more things, take more room, make bigger decisions. It replenishes your self-trust, and god knows we can all use a layer of that.

3) Bringing light on sides of yourself that don't get to shine often

Between adapting ourselves to others, fighting our own insecurities, dealing with beauty standards, not daring to wear what we want, our brains are polluted with restrictions we apply to ourselves. During a boudoir shoot, you can just let go of all of these and have fun exploring and bringing out those sides of yourself.

Feeling like wearing a sexy cocktail dress while holding a glass of whisky despite living your every day life in corporate outfits? Go for it. Do you want to wear a victorian tulle robe just for the hell of it? Yes please. What about that badass harness you would never dare wearing in public? Bring it.

A boudoir photoshoot is a judgement free zone. If anything, it is encouraged to be creative and more importantly: be extra.

Give yourself a chance to be sensual, to try different looks and illustrate the different facets of your personality!

4) For fun and quality time with yourself.

Since boudoir can feel vulnerable and intimidating, it is very easy to forget that it is actually fun. For a couple of hours, no one is asking anything from you besides just letting loose, and that's REFRESHING.

5) Help a great cause

Last but definitely not least: you can actually make a difference in a specific cause, by picking a specific photographer.

We have the best example to give you at the moment: for the whole month of October, we are giving 10% off our session fee and donating a portion of the proceeds to the Pink Ribbon Boutique, a store that specializes in prosthetics and lingerie for breast cancer survivors.

If you were looking for one last push before booking a shoot for yourself, know that you can help a breast cancer survivor purchase a prosthetic with your booking.

Follow this link for details or click on the button below!

Let's talk about consent!

Guest post by Eden Wine - Mindset Consultant

 With the advent of the “Me Too” and “Times Up” era, we must learn the nuances of “Consent” so we can best equip ourselves to effectively navigate our relationships.

It’s time to create a clear definition of what consent means to us, and it’s important to:

• understand our rights when it comes to giving and receiving consent;

• solidify our true introspective understanding of our personal boundaries; and

• learn about and respect how to best support other people’s boundaries. 

HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ALLOWED YOUR BOUNDARIES TO BE CROSSED FOR THE PURPOSE OF PLEASing OTHERS OR IN THE ATTEMPT OF “FEELING BEAUTIFUL”? WELL I HAVE.

When I was 14, I suddenly became well endowed in the derriere department. Now, given the location of this development, I was completely unaware of its existence. I only came to know about my “ass-et” because of my male peers. When walking down the hallway of my high school, adorned in a school uniform, I was consistently greeted by unsolicited slaps, grabs, and fondles. I wasn’t even able to acknowledge this new part of my body before it was claimed by others and objectified. Since this was one of the first experiences I had in my developing body, I was trained to think that this behaviour was acceptable.

As a young teen, I was quickly learning that it was okay for me to be caressed without consent. This, however, is not true.

We, as humans, have exclusive rights to our own bodies.

It is our fundamental obligation to define boundaries for ourselves and to feel comfortable and assured when voicing such boundaries. We are not owned by anyone and no one is entitled to us or any part of us. In fact, the right we have to our own bodies is grounded in and protected by law.

HOW ARE OUR RIGHTS PROTECTED?

The Constitutions and Criminal Codes of many (if not most) developed countries have specific and designated laws that are geared towards protecting the sanctity of consent. Now, I’m no expert in the laws of the world at large, but I know Canada very carefully preserves the notion of consent into its legislation and case law. For example, section 273.1(1) of the Canadian Criminal Code dictates that sexual activity is ONLY legal when both parties consent and where “voluntary agreement” is obtained. Both parties means BOTH parties. In fact, the “two to tango” phraseology has never been more apropos. Sure, there will be nuances in courting and dating when flirting plays a role though subliminal and subtle body language, but that does not dismiss the importance of ensuring that BOTH parties are consenting and, even more than that, consenting the WHOLE time. 

LET’S THINK ABOUT AND DEFINE OUR BOUNDARIES AND RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S BOUNDARIES TOO! #PlatinumRule 

Consent is truly grounding yourself in your beliefs and saying “yes” when an activity  (any activity really) feels right without a shadow of a doubt. This could apply to any sexual encounter or even as something as simple as a hug.

For all people alike, the onus is on us to:

• know and learn our boundaries;

• feel secure and confident in our ability to voice our boundaries; and,

• to inquire and respect other people’s boundaries. In the end, it is each of us who have exclusive rights to our own person and it is our obligation to protect such rights with the entirety of our being.

DISCLAIMER

Eden Wine is presently a non-practicing lawyer. She was called to the Ontario Bar in June 2018 and has since been a member of the Law Society of Ontario.

The content of this article is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal or other professional advice or an opinion of any kind. Readers of this article are advised to seek specific legal advice by contacting independent legal counsel regarding any specific legal issues. Neither the author, nor Scandaleuse Photography warrant or guarantee the quality, accuracy or completeness of any information in this article or on Scandaleuse Photography’s website. The content of this article is current as of the original date of publication, and should not be relied upon as accurate, timely, or fit for any particular purpose.

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Grief, rediscovering yourself and newfound confidence

Back in 2019, we met the fabulous Hallae for one of our boudoir shoot and we had the pleasure to shoot with her 2 more times :)… It is always nice to take pictures of the same Scandal over the years and see their transformation!

A few years ago, she was interviewed by She Does The City to talk about how the loss of her mother shattered her; and how, amidst the grieving process, she’s had to devote time to rediscover herself. Hallae is such a badass human being and today we are super happy to share this interview with you 😁

2019 - Hallae first boudoir shoot with us!

How would you describe your sexuality?

After my mom’s death and the breakup of a long-term relationship shortly afterwards, I didn’t feel sexual at all. But then I saw my body in some Knixwear photos and saw the comments, and that broke down one barrier: my body wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

But there was a second barrier: my sexuality had been put on hold for so long. That was until I allowed myself to take the improv route and say yes to whatever this new particular sexual partner suggested. I trusted him, and I was scared, but I was ready to say yes again.

And now, I may be well over 200 pounds, but I can’t help but feel like the sexiest woman in any room. I feel like I’m nineteen again, when I wasn’t afraid to try anything.

I may be almost thirty, but I’m back at the Stag Shop asking all the questions and buying that full-body fishnet stocking. In short, my sexuality can be described in one word: renewed.  

2021 - second fierce boudoir shoot :)

How did you feel at the beginning of the photo shoot?

To be honest, I had worked myself into quite the state prior to Juliette and Fanny’s arrival. The day before the shoot had actually been the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death, and part of the reason for having this the next day was to have a planned and almost concrete way to celebrate life. Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

However, I can’t express how quickly my anxiety dissipated when Juliette and Fanny entered my apartment. I had pulled a bunch of pieces of clothing I stared at blankly; they quickly identified three outfits. By the time I had changed, they had moved around pillows and chairs and tables, and all of a sudden my little apartment felt worthy of a photo shoot. And soon thereafter, they made me feel worthy of this photo shoot. They directed and displayed poses and had such a contagious energy. I was fully into it only a few clicks into the first outfit.

2022 - Third session. We asked Hallae what sensuality meant to her. This was the result!

What were you thinking about while it was happening? Did you have a particular mantra running through your head?

I didn’t have a particular mantra (besides “shoulders back, tits out”), but I was thinking of power.

I remember sitting on the floor in just a leotard and staring at the camera and having this moment where I felt so much more powerful than I had just a few moments earlier. Sometimes confidence is something that comes naturally, but sometimes we’re thrust into situations that force us to uncork that confidence.

It’s not always possible. But before the shoot I decided I was going to at least try, and I did. That was powerful for me.

What do you want to say to people who are currently lacking confidence, or feeling insecure when it comes to their body/sexuality? 

It would be easy to look at my photos and think, “Wow, she must be so comfortable in her body.” But now you know the truth. I was freaking out up until the moment the photographers walked through the door. Part of me believes that finding confidence in your body is sometimes consciously acting to find it. I’m not saying go out right now and take pictures in your underwear, but that’s one way to do it.

No one can convince you your body is beautiful without a bit of work on your part. (Though I’m still here to tell you: it is.) Have you seen it in a teddy yet? What about covered in sparkles? Drape your body in whatever your kink is. Then stare at it in the mirror, take photos of yourself, wear it on a date, wear it on a solo dinner. When that person comes up to you and tells you your body is beautiful, think about how hot you fucking looked, and agree with them.

Feel it. Own it.

That’s what I’m talking about when I say act consciously. Then fuck the shit out of them, with consent, of course :)

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Breast Massage For Sexual Healing And Getting Your Libido Back

The following is a guest post by Katrin, from katrinwithlove.com and @vaginismus.sisters.

If life has inconveniently initiated you in any sort of sexual liberation journey, then we have a lot in common.

I personally experienced painful sex and the protective body response of vaginismus (rhymes with Christmas) – a bracing and tightening of my pelvic floor muscles that robbed me of pleasure-filled gifts for more than 6 years…

Whether your story was ridden in pain, shame, numbness or anywhere in between, you've probably read plenty about the vulva and vagina in the process of claiming your sexual freedom.

It’s true. The ancient sex wisdom of Taoism confirms the intricate connection between the genitals and optimal functions of other organs and glands in the body. Creating harmony in these sacred areas of your body really is important in relieving tension and support physical and emotional healing.

But what about the breasts?

What purpose do they serve in your complete body system for physical and emotional healing?

What role do they serve in increasing your libido if that's something that has subsided for one reason or another?

Many of us have grown up ashamed of our breasts. They may have been the reason we received unwanted and uncomfortable attention.. Or we may have regarded them as just a necessary part of our female anatomy (but nothing more than that).

I personally grew up having a fairly BLAH relationship with my breasts.

They were there and that's about it - if anything, I had a perception of what beautiful breasts should look like, and mine weren't quite them. So it's safe to say my relationship with my lady bumps was MEH at worst and "ooh they look great in a push up bra" at best!

Starting to pay loving attention to YOUR breasts is a crucial part of getting your libido back and finding success in your sexual liberation journey.

Emotionally and energetically, when you find unconditional love for your heart space and breasts, you can tap into that sense of self-love and inner confidence that may have been energetically laying dormant under your layers of shame and indifference.

Even still, a vulva owner's sexual turn on STARTS in the heart centre represented by the breasts, gets strengthened by the cooperation of the mind and only then is felt physically in the genitals.

So it becomes important to bring your heart-centred turn-on online!

How do you involve your beautiful breasts in a holistic approach to healing?

Physically, that looks like stimulating them gently through breast massage to enhance the health of your heart, blood, lymphatic and hormonal systems.

Awakening the life force of the body as a whole to create sexual aliveness and sex drive.

The Tao of Sexology - The Book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr. Stephen T. Chang confirms that:

"From foreplay to pregnancy to nursing, the breasts are closely tied to the genital system, through nervous impulses, hormones, etc.”

"The delicate intertwining of numerous capillaries, nerves, lactation glands, lymphatic vessels, and other delicate structures of the breast are easily damaged by improper handling.”

Any damage to breast tissue can lead to accumulations and blockages.

These can then lead to lumps or, possibly, cancer. (The breast is so delicate that caffeine can cause lumps and cysts to form inside the breast, as was shown in recent studies.) If this should ever happen, the entire female reproductive system would be torn out of balance.

Therefore, the sensitive and easily over-stimulated breasts must never be mishandled by the woman or her sexual partner. A woman's partner should never bite, suck, or pinch the breast. Contact should be limited to a very gentle caress or kiss.

Even though more intense handling of the breasts can be very pleasurable for certain people, Taoism states that, for optimal full body functionality, and especially reversing the damage that may have already been created in the breasts, a gentle approach is required...

Here is a simple and gentle breast massage ritual that you can engage in to create a loving relationship with your breasts...

…And to enjoy all the physical benefits that come with it!

1. Ensure your space is free of distractions and feels safe so you can fully surrender and relax.

2. Make your room nice and cozy in whichever way feels right to you and lie down comfortably with your shirt off.

3. Warm up your hands by rubbing them together to promote blood flow and circulation. Have some massage oil nearby if you'd like, but don't use it just yet.

4. Place your hands on your chest, fall into a comfortable rhythm breathing into your belly. With a loving intention, connect to your heart as your listen to your heartbeat.

5. With your fingertips or nails, slowly and delicately start moving up and down your breasts, avoiding the nipples. This stimulates sensation on and beneath the skin, essentially waking them up.

6. Now put some massage oil on your hands if you'd like.

7. Press down on your armpit and release 5 times. This helps open and generate healthy flow in the lymphatic system.

8. As you keep breathing and with one hand per breast, continue more thoroughly massaging the perimeter of the breasts. Then move to the full breasts and only then the nipples. Make sure you are applying some more pressure now so you are stimulating the deeper breast tissue along with the skin.

9. Using one or both hands, move back and forth between breasts, creating movement across the mid-meridians of your body. This helps balance both hemispheres of your brain and create union between your masculine and feminine energies.

10. As you are lightly and intuitively continue touching your breasts, remind them that they are worthy of receiving love and pleasure.

11. After about 15 minutes or when you feel complete, come into a relaxed position and be present with whatever feelings arise from doing this exercise. You did it!

What did you notice? Did any feelings of shame, discomfort, or even suppressed memories come up?

If so, that's totally normal. They may have been part of your life for many years. With each breast massage practice, you'll become closer to fully allowing yourself to release the discomfort and make space for unconditional love and acceptance. You may even realize...

May the love for your body in its entirety bring you peace and a conscious awareness that ALL of YOU is beautiful!

Helpful tools

You can perform your breast massage ritual with your hands, or you can also incorporate the use of tools like soft fabrics, feather toys or tools using the healing characteristics of some of Mother Earth’s natural elements – crystals.

If the crystal option piqued your interest, it’s encouraged that you pick a crystal intuitively simply by feeling which one you’re naturally drawn to most. Where each type of crystal has a unique energetic property and vibration and therefore a unique subtle impact on your own energy body.

The crystal I felt called to use in my breast massage practice was fire quartz.

I later learned that fire quartz calms anxieties and brings clarity. Like with rose quartz, its nature is that it subtly inspires self-acceptance feelings of greater calm and comfort.

In the journey of reconnecting to your authentic eroticism, this can be incredibly helpful in reconnecting to a state of mental peace with yourself and your body.

When I used the crystal in my breast massage practice, I really enjoyed its firmness and the smooth, rounded shape. It felt like an added luxury to the kind of touch I could create on my body.

And still, there is something special about using your own hands in varied forms of touch, as well as feeling that skin-to-skin contact and connection. To me, a combination of hands and tools provides that variety that I’ve learned I crave in life (in all sorts of ways).

In any case, the invitation is to introduce a breast massage practice into your self-care and self-pleasure practices in any ways that feels right to you!

Look for any subtle nudge that helps you feel the pleasure of sinking into a slow-paced and gentle experience, which of course can always naturally turn into a passionate and intense one..

Of course, the intention is that you feel that deep appreciation for a part of your body that you may have been disregarding for years.

Here’s to the love your breasts deserve!

- Katrin, with Love

---

The parts of you who desire a life based in liberation, love and leadership can find a home in Katrin’s world..

As a sexual liberation mentor who has overcome painful sex and continues to support women in releasing the protective body response of vaginismus, Katrin has a deep understanding of how survival strategies of the mind and subtle protective mechanisms of the body can sneakily keep you from feeling like the incredible woman you are!

Katrin believes that your power is born out of your deepest pain and that the Liberated & In Love Woman within you already has all the answers to guide you in your personal reclamation in the realms of sex, love, relationships and entrepreneurship.. She is here to love you as you re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure and purpose. She gently calls you into your zone of genius and lifts you up as you bravely build your legacy from that place of aliveness and erotic overflow.

You can find her life’s work on her website katrinwithlove.com and on Instagram @katrin.with.love and @vaginismus.sisters

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Personal story - the search for the perfect birth control method

Disclaimer: In this post I am talking about my own experience and feedback about birth control methods. I am not a doctor and this should not be considered as legal advice. You should seek appropriate counsel for your own situation.

Today we are back with a blog on a more personal topic: birth control methods. If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to talk about our life’s experiences on topics people don’t necessarily talk about. We believe that talking about those things are a great way to remove the unnecessary pressure and clichés that surround them.

It ain't a walk in a park!

Fanny writing today by the way! In 2018, I was sharing with you why I decided to stop taking the birth control pill and switch to a non-hormonal copper IUD (the Intrauterine Device is a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that's put into your uterus to prevent pregnancy. It’s long-term, reversible, and one of the most effective birth control methods out there). Both Juliette and I tried it but we had different experiences. You can read Juliette’s opinion on the IUD here!

Even if I think it is much better than the pill, I unfortunately had to remove mine last year. In my opinion, the IUD is an amazing birth control method and I wish more people were using it. It can last from 3 to 10 years depending of the brand, it is more affordable than pill, and once it is inserted you have nothing to do beside checking every year it didn’t move. But it is not for everyone!

Let’s start by the beginning: the insertion. I have a good pain tolerance but the insertion was painful! My family doctor was the one to insert it and instead of opening the T part at once, she did in 3 or 4 times which made it extremely painful for me. I spent the rest of the day feeling unwell which is very common: strong cramps, headaches, and I also felt nauseous for a few hours.

The first year was ok-ish beside the fact I got a strong acne and had my real period (when you take the pill, your periods are “regulated”. You lose less blood, they are usually shorter, and less painful). But the longer I kept the IUD the more intense the cramping were, to a point that I almost passed out several times. It was also weird for me to have this foreign object in my body and I always had the impression I could feel it. Move forward 2022, I took the decision to remove it even though I had one year left. I could tell it wasn’t the right birth control method for me and since I wasn’t dating anyone it was the perfect moment to stop the process.

Now what?

I have been birth control free for a year now and I really enjoy it. But I am ready to date again and since I do not want to have any kids, I have to find a new one on top of using condoms. Unfortunately, my options are getting limited: I do not want to take any hormones, and I don’t wanna go back with an IUD. If you are wondering what other choices I have, here are the two options I am thinking of:

• Fertility awareness such as tracking my ovulation period using tools like my basal body temperature, or cervical mucus. I feel very excited to try this out but it also stresses me a lot. I love the idea of going natural and learning more about my body, but if it is not done properly then the chance of getting pregnant increases 😟

• Tubal removal procedure. This is an irreversible birth control method in which both of the fallopian tubes are being completely removed. This would be perfect for me since you cannot get pregnant with this surgery. The only thing that makes me think twice about it is that, depending of the person, it can make the period more painful than they usually are.

I already started to get information about this procedure. I talk to my family doctor first but she wasn’t very supportive and told me it is not something that is usually done in Canada. But I insisted so she sent me to see a gynaecologist and to my surprise she didn’t give me a hard time nor try to make me give up on the idea. I have read online that many doctors are against this surgery (unless you already had plenty of kids), because it is permanent and they have a hard believing people who say they don’t want children. I was ready to fight for my rights and the control over my own body but didn’t have to. She of course had to make sure I understood it is irreversible, but since I am very set in stones with that decision, and told her I was having a hard time finding the perfect birth control method, she put me on a waiting list to get that procedure done. Which gives me the time to do more researches!

Also the fact that my family doctor lied to me a little with her statement saying it is not common for people to do that here in Canada made me a tad angry. I can see why a lot of people are having a hard time finding doctors who respect their medical decision.

I have learned a lot about the tubal removal procedure and will probably write another blog to talk more about it.

We hope you enjoy this type of content! Even if those of blogs are not directly related to our work as boudoir photographers, it is an important part of who Juliette and I are, and the values we share. We make it a priority to be authentic, and we truly believe that if people were to talk more often about their everyday struggles and experiences, there will be less taboos around important topics and the world would be a better place!

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How to prep for your boudoir shoot

Congrats, you did it! You gathered the courage to book your boudoir shoot and now, the official preparation can officially begin! While it can be a little nerve-wracking, prepping for your shoot is very exciting and a big part of how confident and comfortable you will feel during your session. Here are some tips to help you get ready both for your mind and your body.

On the mindset side of things

Chances are, you are already in a "screw it, let's do this” mindset if you already booked your session, but if it was a little quiet, it's time to make it roar! Don't let your pre-shoot jitters take over and remind yourself of your "no f.. given” attitude. This is your time to let loose and have fun!

Leave your body alone!

More often than not, we hear "I need to lose/gain a few pounds before my shoot”. This is not the right way to go about it.

If you want to take advantage of this session to get a good balance in your life and feel your best, like managing your stress, set up better nutrition habits and movement and improve your sleep, all the power to you. But if you are going to kill yourself at the gym in hopes to change your body, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Let's say you do manage to trim or bulk up in time, chances are you will go back to your regular self shortly after your session. Getting your photos might get you excited at first, but after a little while, you may not feel so good about them and end up comparing your body then and now.

Your photos are meant to be a keep sake, a long-term reminder of how beautiful and confident you are, in your every day body. Just let your body be and place your focus other aspect of your session, like what oufits make you feel your best.

Choose your outfits carefully

When selecting outfits for your boudoir shoot, choose pieces that you feel comfortable and confident in. Don't be afraid to mix and match different pieces to create a unique and personalized look. We can do up to 5 outfits in one session, and we definitely encourage you to have different vibes to illustrate different facets of your personality.

They don't have to be regular lingerie either! Any outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, and we will help you style it as such.

Practicing posing can help

Even if it isn't your job to know what to do in front of the camera and that we will guide you through it all, it can be helpful to practice some poses at home in front of a mirror.

Don't worry too much about it, but don't be scared to experiment just a little, check some poses and angles you might like. It will make you feel more confident once you are in front of the lens.

A few extra quickies before we end this…

Prep a playlist

Music has a huge influence on our moods, so definitely make yourself a playlist of songs that make you feel sexy & confident!

Watch those tan lines!

Bad tan lines can really ruin a look and are pretty much impossible to remove properly in post-production. If you are planning on hitting the beach before your shoot, make sure to either use sunblock or sunbathe au naturel…

Gather some inspo

Whether it is for makeup, outfits or poses, don't hesitate to fall into a Pinterest rabbit hole and save anything that catch your eye. Dismiss the perfect bodies and poses and just focus on the whole ambiance of the shot. It is so nice to get inspired with other looks and for us, it is helpful to see where you head is at!

Follow those little tips & tricks and we guarantee you'll have the best session ever! We have plenty more tips & tricks that we share with all of our new clients and we are always happy to answer any questions. If you would like to connect, head over to this link!

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The importance of knowing how to highlight yourself in lingerie

As boudoir photographers we see so many different types of lingerie during our shoots and most of the time our clients’s favourite pieces are the ones that fit them the best. If you are used to wear lingerie, you know how uncomfortable pieces that don’t fit can be and you also know it is not that easy to find the perfect match. We don’t know for you but we weren’t taught, when we were younger, about what bras sizes or panty shapes were the best for our body type. It took us years, plenty of mistakes, and experts, to finally realize we were not wearing the right sizes.

First of all let’s clarify something:

There are so much more body shapes and sizes than what the fashion industry made us believe. Back then, when Juliette and I were teenagers and looking to wear our first bras, we were taught about all the common sizes and that we were supposed to fit in one of those (and when your body change, you find a new size and stick to it until your body changes again). But it wasn’t that simple!

It happened so many times we couldn’t find the perfect fit because we were in between sizes (for example having a bras that has the under band too tight but the cup too big). In those moments it was easy to feel like shit and see ourselves as women with large chest but small boobies 😟. Can you guess what happen when those feelings keep pilling up? Just a typical fall of our body confidence! All the bullshit about the “perfect bodies” was so deeply rooted that it never occurred to us that the problem didn’t come from our bodies but from the restricted rules of the fashion industry.

It is very important to understand the lack of body confidence has been a business for decades. The worst you feel about yourself the most likely you are to buy stuff that will “fix” the way you look (diets, plastic surgeries, props to change your body, beauty products to make you look younger or hairless,… sadly we could keep going). Making clothes that perfectly fit only a small portion of the population is one more of those marketing tricks that makes you feel bad about your body.

So next time you are trying on lingerie (or any pieces of clothing) and you are having a really hard time to find a size that works for you, remember that it is probably because the design of the collection isn’t cut for your shape and it is best to try something else.

Alright let’s go back to the main topic of this blog as we got a bit carried away (if you are part of our community you know by now we like to dig deeper with our topics and are passionate about destroying those old school believes 💪).

Why is it important to have lingerie that fits?

Both Juliette and I love lingerie. How designers play with the textures, all the styles you can find, and how sexy and confident lingerie can make you feel. But not every cuts are suitable for everyone and as we mentioned previously it is hard to know what shape is the best for our body. But when you find those precious pieces, it is heaven on Earth!

Here are 3 main reasons why having the right lingerie is a game changer:

Comfort

This is probably one of the most important reason. Wearing a bras with an underwire that digs into your skin or panties that are too tight they give you a frontal wedgie can really ruin your day. Even if those pieces are the most beautiful lingerie you ever saw, it is not worth putting your comfort on the side.

When you wear lingerie in your every day life, you don’t want it to be a struggle. Good lingerie makes itself discrete, almost like you are not wearing anything!

Look

Number two on our list is the way it looks on you. We are not talking about the style or colours but how you can easily notice when someone is wearing lingerie that doesn’t fit them (either it is too big or two small).

For example, too small panties can create body rolls you don’t have. And a bras that is too tight will make your breast overflow it which is very visible underneath your clothe. And that also works for bras that are too big revealing gaps in the cups.

When the lingerie you wear doesn’t properly highlight your curves but instead accentuate the parts of your body you might have a hard time to like, it doesn’t help with self-love.

Confidence

Which bring us to our last point: body confidence!

When you wear lingerie that suits you like a glove, that is light as a feather and smooth as a cloud, and that highlights perfectly all of your curves, it really makes you feel like a goddess. You start to see your body in a different light and realize that there is nothing wrong with it.

We’re telling you, it is like a super power! You put it on and suddenly there is a wave of sexyness coming at you that makes you say: “Damn I look good!” 😉.

If you are thinking: “ok ladies all of this sounds amazing but how can I actually know what size and shape of lingerie works best for me?” Well don’t worry we got you! We are partnering with Gigi’s House of Frills on July 8th and created a unique and intimate event that includes a semi-private fitting session, lingerie shopping, and some bubbly & bite-sized deserts. It will be a lot of fun and we hope you can join us:

Not interested by this event but want to stay in the loop? Sign up to our weekly newsletter to read new blogs, get special offers, and more ⬇️

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The importance of having a feminine circle

Have you ever felt completely like you are living your life on auto-pilot, in your routine and juggling various responsibilities? Then, a little mind lightbulb goes off to remind you that hey, it's been a while since you have done something for yourself, outside of your regular circle?

This makes it very easy to forget about our sensuality and femininity, leaving us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. This is when having a circle of like-minded women can help us stay grounded, connected and more importantly: supported. I need it, you need it, everybody needs it and here is why.

A space for self-expression and exploration

Saying that societal pressures has zero influence of us conforming to certain standards of femininity and beauty would be a total lie.

Saying that this never leaves us feeling like garbage would be an even bigger lie.

Stepping out of these leads to a better appreciation of ourselves on many levels but -god damn- it is hard and takes time. But it can be sped up with the right tools. Having the right feminine circle can provide a safe space for us to express ourselves authentically and explore our sensuality without judgment. It's a powerful bubble of fresh air that helps us embrace ourselves the way we deserve and celebrate our femininity. Who wouldn't want that?!

A source of empowerment and inspiration

Imagine having a bunch of hype women in your corner, ready to cheer you on on anything you wish to achieve. Imagine being a hype woman for somebody else who needs it. All the good vibes!

When we surround ourselves with strong, confident, and empowered women, we can't help but be inspired to be the best versions of ourselves. A solid feminine circle provides us with role models, mentors, and friends who motivate us to pursue our passions, take risks, and make our dreams a reality. Additionally, when we see other women succeeding and thriving, it reminds us that we, too, are capable of achieving wonderful things.

A support system to navigate through life

Life can be unpredictable, and it is natural to feel overwhelmed and alone at times.

Whether it's a breakup, a job loss, or a health scare, having a group of supportive women who understand and empathize brings a whole lot of comfort during life's challenges. When we share our struggles with others, not only do we feel less alone, but we also gain new perspectives and insights that can help us overcome our challenges. Let's prioritize building and nurturing our feminine circles, and watch as our lives transform for the better.

Do you want your circle? Join the Scandaleuse Sorority!

If what you read spoke to you and you are located in the GTA, we have great news for you! We are launching the Scandaleuse Sorority, a free space for women and femme-presenting people to make meaningful connections through events and workshops, boost your confidence and reconnect with your sensuality!

You can join it for free by clicking on the button below. Can't wait to see you there!