Blog — Scandaleuse | Inclusive Toronto Boudoir Photography

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Grief, rediscovering yourself and newfound confidence

Back in 2019, we met the fabulous Hallae for one of our boudoir shoot and we had the pleasure to shoot with her 2 more times :)… It is always nice to take pictures of the same Scandal over the years and see their transformation!

A few years ago, she was interviewed by She Does The City to talk about how the loss of her mother shattered her; and how, amidst the grieving process, she’s had to devote time to rediscover herself. Hallae is such a badass human being and today we are super happy to share this interview with you 😁

 
curvy brunette woman in boudoir set up wearing black lingerie

2019 - Hallae first boudoir shoot with us!

 

How would you describe your sexuality?

After my mom’s death and the breakup of a long-term relationship shortly afterwards, I didn’t feel sexual at all. But then I saw my body in some Knixwear photos and saw the comments, and that broke down one barrier: my body wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

But there was a second barrier: my sexuality had been put on hold for so long. That was until I allowed myself to take the improv route and say yes to whatever this new particular sexual partner suggested. I trusted him, and I was scared, but I was ready to say yes again.

And now, I may be well over 200 pounds, but I can’t help but feel like the sexiest woman in any room. I feel like I’m nineteen again, when I wasn’t afraid to try anything.

I may be almost thirty, but I’m back at the Stag Shop asking all the questions and buying that full-body fishnet stocking. In short, my sexuality can be described in one word: renewed.  

 
Curvy pink hair woman in boudoir set up wearing lacey black lingerie and black gown

2021 - second fierce boudoir shoot :)

 

How did you feel at the beginning of the photo shoot?

To be honest, I had worked myself into quite the state prior to Juliette and Fanny’s arrival. The day before the shoot had actually been the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death, and part of the reason for having this the next day was to have a planned and almost concrete way to celebrate life. Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

However, I can’t express how quickly my anxiety dissipated when Juliette and Fanny entered my apartment. I had pulled a bunch of pieces of clothing I stared at blankly; they quickly identified three outfits. By the time I had changed, they had moved around pillows and chairs and tables, and all of a sudden my little apartment felt worthy of a photo shoot. And soon thereafter, they made me feel worthy of this photo shoot. They directed and displayed poses and had such a contagious energy. I was fully into it only a few clicks into the first outfit.

double exposure photograph woman smoking in black bra and pink sweat pants. She has pink hair

2022 - Third session. We asked Hallae what sensuality meant to her. This was the result!

What were you thinking about while it was happening? Did you have a particular mantra running through your head?

I didn’t have a particular mantra (besides “shoulders back, tits out”), but I was thinking of power.

I remember sitting on the floor in just a leotard and staring at the camera and having this moment where I felt so much more powerful than I had just a few moments earlier. Sometimes confidence is something that comes naturally, but sometimes we’re thrust into situations that force us to uncork that confidence.

It’s not always possible. But before the shoot I decided I was going to at least try, and I did. That was powerful for me.

What do you want to say to people who are currently lacking confidence, or feeling insecure when it comes to their body/sexuality? 

It would be easy to look at my photos and think, “Wow, she must be so comfortable in her body.” But now you know the truth. I was freaking out up until the moment the photographers walked through the door. Part of me believes that finding confidence in your body is sometimes consciously acting to find it. I’m not saying go out right now and take pictures in your underwear, but that’s one way to do it.

No one can convince you your body is beautiful without a bit of work on your part. (Though I’m still here to tell you: it is.) Have you seen it in a teddy yet? What about covered in sparkles? Drape your body in whatever your kink is. Then stare at it in the mirror, take photos of yourself, wear it on a date, wear it on a solo dinner. When that person comes up to you and tells you your body is beautiful, think about how hot you fucking looked, and agree with them.

Feel it. Own it.

That’s what I’m talking about when I say act consciously. Then fuck the shit out of them, with consent, of course :)

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Breast Massage For Sexual Healing And Getting Your Libido Back

The following is a guest post by Katrin, from katrinwithlove.com and @vaginismus.sisters.

If life has inconveniently initiated you in any sort of sexual liberation journey, then we have a lot in common.

I personally experienced painful sex and the protective body response of vaginismus (rhymes with Christmas) – a bracing and tightening of my pelvic floor muscles that robbed me of pleasure-filled gifts for more than 6 years…

 
 

Whether your story was ridden in pain, shame, numbness or anywhere in between, you've probably read plenty about the vulva and vagina in the process of claiming your sexual freedom.

It’s true. The ancient sex wisdom of Taoism confirms the intricate connection between the genitals and optimal functions of other organs and glands in the body. Creating harmony in these sacred areas of your body really is important in relieving tension and support physical and emotional healing.

But what about the breasts?

What purpose do they serve in your complete body system for physical and emotional healing?

What role do they serve in increasing your libido if that's something that has subsided for one reason or another?

Many of us have grown up ashamed of our breasts. They may have been the reason we received unwanted and uncomfortable attention.. Or we may have regarded them as just a necessary part of our female anatomy (but nothing more than that).

I personally grew up having a fairly BLAH relationship with my breasts.

They were there and that's about it - if anything, I had a perception of what beautiful breasts should look like, and mine weren't quite them. So it's safe to say my relationship with my lady bumps was MEH at worst and "ooh they look great in a push up bra" at best!

Starting to pay loving attention to YOUR breasts is a crucial part of getting your libido back and finding success in your sexual liberation journey.

Emotionally and energetically, when you find unconditional love for your heart space and breasts, you can tap into that sense of self-love and inner confidence that may have been energetically laying dormant under your layers of shame and indifference.

Even still, a vulva owner's sexual turn on STARTS in the heart centre represented by the breasts, gets strengthened by the cooperation of the mind and only then is felt physically in the genitals.

So it becomes important to bring your heart-centred turn-on online!

How do you involve your beautiful breasts in a holistic approach to healing?

 
 

Physically, that looks like stimulating them gently through breast massage to enhance the health of your heart, blood, lymphatic and hormonal systems.

Awakening the life force of the body as a whole to create sexual aliveness and sex drive.

The Tao of Sexology - The Book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr. Stephen T. Chang confirms that:

"From foreplay to pregnancy to nursing, the breasts are closely tied to the genital system, through nervous impulses, hormones, etc.”

"The delicate intertwining of numerous capillaries, nerves, lactation glands, lymphatic vessels, and other delicate structures of the breast are easily damaged by improper handling.”

Any damage to breast tissue can lead to accumulations and blockages.

These can then lead to lumps or, possibly, cancer. (The breast is so delicate that caffeine can cause lumps and cysts to form inside the breast, as was shown in recent studies.) If this should ever happen, the entire female reproductive system would be torn out of balance.

Therefore, the sensitive and easily over-stimulated breasts must never be mishandled by the woman or her sexual partner. A woman's partner should never bite, suck, or pinch the breast. Contact should be limited to a very gentle caress or kiss.

Even though more intense handling of the breasts can be very pleasurable for certain people, Taoism states that, for optimal full body functionality, and especially reversing the damage that may have already been created in the breasts, a gentle approach is required...

Here is a simple and gentle breast massage ritual that you can engage in to create a loving relationship with your breasts...

…And to enjoy all the physical benefits that come with it!

 
 
  1. Ensure your space is free of distractions and feels safe so you can fully surrender and relax.

  2. Make your room nice and cozy in whichever way feels right to you and lie down comfortably with your shirt off.

  3. Warm up your hands by rubbing them together to promote blood flow and circulation. Have some massage oil nearby if you'd like, but don't use it just yet.

  4. Place your hands on your chest, fall into a comfortable rhythm breathing into your belly. With a loving intention, connect to your heart as your listen to your heartbeat.

  5. With your fingertips or nails, slowly and delicately start moving up and down your breasts, avoiding the nipples. This stimulates sensation on and beneath the skin, essentially waking them up.

  6. Now put some massage oil on your hands if you'd like.

  7. Press down on your armpit and release 5 times. This helps open and generate healthy flow in the lymphatic system.

  8. As you keep breathing and with one hand per breast, continue more thoroughly massaging the perimeter of the breasts. Then move to the full breasts and only then the nipples. Make sure you are applying some more pressure now so you are stimulating the deeper breast tissue along with the skin.

  9. Using one or both hands, move back and forth between breasts, creating movement across the mid-meridians of your body. This helps balance both hemispheres of your brain and create union between your masculine and feminine energies.

  10. As you are lightly and intuitively continue touching your breasts, remind them that they are worthy of receiving love and pleasure.

  11. After about 15 minutes or when you feel complete, come into a relaxed position and be present with whatever feelings arise from doing this exercise. You did it!

What did you notice? Did any feelings of shame, discomfort, or even suppressed memories come up?

If so, that's totally normal. They may have been part of your life for many years. With each breast massage practice, you'll become closer to fully allowing yourself to release the discomfort and make space for unconditional love and acceptance. You may even realize...

May the love for your body in its entirety bring you peace and a conscious awareness that ALL of YOU is beautiful!

Helpful tools

You can perform your breast massage ritual with your hands, or you can also incorporate the use of tools like soft fabrics, feather toys or tools using the healing characteristics of some of Mother Earth’s natural elements – crystals.

If the crystal option piqued your interest, it’s encouraged that you pick a crystal intuitively simply by feeling which one you’re naturally drawn to most. Where each type of crystal has a unique energetic property and vibration and therefore a unique subtle impact on your own energy body.

The crystal I felt called to use in my breast massage practice was fire quartz.

 
 

I later learned that fire quartz calms anxieties and brings clarity. Like with rose quartz, its nature is that it subtly inspires self-acceptance feelings of greater calm and comfort.

In the journey of reconnecting to your authentic eroticism, this can be incredibly helpful in reconnecting to a state of mental peace with yourself and your body.

When I used the crystal in my breast massage practice, I really enjoyed its firmness and the smooth, rounded shape. It felt like an added luxury to the kind of touch I could create on my body.

And still, there is something special about using your own hands in varied forms of touch, as well as feeling that skin-to-skin contact and connection. To me, a combination of hands and tools provides that variety that I’ve learned I crave in life (in all sorts of ways).

In any case, the invitation is to introduce a breast massage practice into your self-care and self-pleasure practices in any ways that feels right to you!

Look for any subtle nudge that helps you feel the pleasure of sinking into a slow-paced and gentle experience, which of course can always naturally turn into a passionate and intense one..

Of course, the intention is that you feel that deep appreciation for a part of your body that you may have been disregarding for years.

Here’s to the love your breasts deserve!

- Katrin, with Love

 
 

The parts of you who desire a life based in liberation, love and leadership can find a home in Katrin’s world..

As a sexual liberation mentor who has overcome painful sex and continues to support women in releasing the protective body response of vaginismus, Katrin has a deep understanding of how survival strategies of the mind and subtle protective mechanisms of the body can sneakily keep you from feeling like the incredible woman you are!

Katrin believes that your power is born out of your deepest pain and that the Liberated & In Love Woman within you already has all the answers to guide you in your personal reclamation in the realms of sex, love, relationships and entrepreneurship.. She is here to love you as you re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure and purpose. She gently calls you into your zone of genius and lifts you up as you bravely build your legacy from that place of aliveness and erotic overflow.

You can find her life’s work on her website katrinwithlove.com and on Instagram @katrin.with.love and @vaginismus.sisters

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Personal story - the search for the perfect birth control method

Disclaimer: In this post I am talking about my own experience and feedback about birth control methods. I am not a doctor and this should not be considered as legal advice. You should seek appropriate counsel for your own situation.

Today we are back with a blog on a more personal topic: birth control methods. If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to talk about our life’s experiences on topics people don’t necessarily talk about. We believe that talking about those things are a great way to remove the unnecessary pressure and clichés that surround them.

It ain't a walk in a park!

Fanny writing today by the way! In 2018, I was sharing with you why I decided to stop taking the birth control pill and switch to a non-hormonal copper IUD (the Intrauterine Device is a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that's put into your uterus to prevent pregnancy. It’s long-term, reversible, and one of the most effective birth control methods out there). Both Juliette and I tried it but we had different experiences. You can read Juliette’s opinion on the IUD here!

Even if I think it is much better than the pill, I unfortunately had to remove mine last year. In my opinion, the IUD is an amazing birth control method and I wish more people were using it. It can last from 3 to 10 years depending of the brand, it is more affordable than pill, and once it is inserted you have nothing to do beside checking every year it didn’t move. But it is not for everyone!

Let’s start by the beginning: the insertion. I have a good pain tolerance but the insertion was painful! My family doctor was the one to insert it and instead of opening the T part at once, she did in 3 or 4 times which made it extremely painful for me. I spent the rest of the day feeling unwell which is very common: strong cramps, headaches, and I also felt nauseous for a few hours.

The first year was ok-ish beside the fact I got a strong acne and had my real period (when you take the pill, your periods are “regulated”. You lose less blood, they are usually shorter, and less painful). But the longer I kept the IUD the more intense the cramping were, to a point that I almost passed out several times. It was also weird for me to have this foreign object in my body and I always had the impression I could feel it. Move forward 2022, I took the decision to remove it even though I had one year left. I could tell it wasn’t the right birth control method for me and since I wasn’t dating anyone it was the perfect moment to stop the process.

 
 

Now what?

I have been birth control free for a year now and I really enjoy it. But I am ready to date again and since I do not want to have any kids, I have to find a new one on top of using condoms. Unfortunately, my options are getting limited: I do not want to take any hormones, and I don’t wanna go back with an IUD. If you are wondering what other choices I have, here are the two options I am thinking of:

  • Fertility awareness such as tracking my ovulation period using tools like my basal body temperature, or cervical mucus. I feel very excited to try this out but it also stresses me a lot. I love the idea of going natural and learning more about my body, but if it is not done properly then the chance of getting pregnant increases 😟

  • Tubal removal procedure. This is an irreversible birth control method in which both of the fallopian tubes are being completely removed. This would be perfect for me since you cannot get pregnant with this surgery. The only thing that makes me think twice about it is that, depending of the person, it can make the period more painful than they usually are.

I already started to get information about this procedure. I talk to my family doctor first but she wasn’t very supportive and told me it is not something that is usually done in Canada. But I insisted so she sent me to see a gynaecologist and to my surprise she didn’t give me a hard time nor try to make me give up on the idea. I have read online that many doctors are against this surgery (unless you already had plenty of kids), because it is permanent and they have a hard believing people who say they don’t want children. I was ready to fight for my rights and the control over my own body but didn’t have to. She of course had to make sure I understood it is irreversible, but since I am very set in stones with that decision, and told her I was having a hard time finding the perfect birth control method, she put me on a waiting list to get that procedure done. Which gives me the time to do more researches!

Also the fact that my family doctor lied to me a little with her statement saying it is not common for people to do that here in Canada made me a tad angry. I can see why a lot of people are having a hard time finding doctors who respect their medical decision.

I have learned a lot about the tubal removal procedure and will probably write another blog to talk more about it.

We hope you enjoy this type of content! Even if those of blogs are not directly related to our work as boudoir photographers, it is an important part of who Juliette and I are, and the values we share. We make it a priority to be authentic, and we truly believe that if people were to talk more often about their everyday struggles and experiences, there will be less taboos around important topics and the world would be a better place!

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How to prep for your boudoir shoot

Congrats, you did it! You gathered the courage to book your boudoir shoot and now, the official preparation can officially begin! While it can be a little nerve-wracking, prepping for your shoot is very exciting and a big part of how confident and comfortable you will feel during your session. Here are some tips to help you get ready both for your mind and your body.

On the mindset side of things

 
 

Chances are, you are already in a "screw it, let's do this” mindset if you already booked your session, but if it was a little quiet, it's time to make it roar! Don't let your pre-shoot jitters take over and remind yourself of your "no f.. given” attitude. This is your time to let loose and have fun!

Leave your body alone!

More often than not, we hear "I need to lose/gain a few pounds before my shoot”. This is not the right way to go about it.

If you want to take advantage of this session to get a good balance in your life and feel your best, like managing your stress, set up better nutrition habits and movement and improve your sleep, all the power to you. But if you are going to kill yourself at the gym in hopes to change your body, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Let's say you do manage to trim or bulk up in time, chances are you will go back to your regular self shortly after your session. Getting your photos might get you excited at first, but after a little while, you may not feel so good about them and end up comparing your body then and now.

Your photos are meant to be a keep sake, a long-term reminder of how beautiful and confident you are, in your every day body. Just let your body be and place your focus other aspect of your session, like what oufits make you feel your best.

Choose your outfits carefully

When selecting outfits for your boudoir shoot, choose pieces that you feel comfortable and confident in. Don't be afraid to mix and match different pieces to create a unique and personalized look. We can do up to 5 outfits in one session, and we definitely encourage you to have different vibes to illustrate different facets of your personality.

They don't have to be regular lingerie either! Any outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, and we will help you style it as such.

 
 

Practicing posing can help

Even if it isn't your job to know what to do in front of the camera and that we will guide you through it all, it can be helpful to practice some poses at home in front of a mirror.

Don't worry too much about it, but don't be scared to experiment just a little, check some poses and angles you might like. It will make you feel more confident once you are in front of the lens.

A few extra quickies before we end this…

Prep a playlist

Music has a huge influence on our moods, so definitely make yourself a playlist of songs that make you feel sexy & confident!

Watch those tan lines!

Bad tan lines can really ruin a look and are pretty much impossible to remove properly in post-production. If you are planning on hitting the beach before your shoot, make sure to either use sunblock or sunbathe au naturel…

Gather some inspo

Whether it is for makeup, outfits or poses, don't hesitate to fall into a Pinterest rabbit hole and save anything that catch your eye. Dismiss the perfect bodies and poses and just focus on the whole ambiance of the shot. It is so nice to get inspired with other looks and for us, it is helpful to see where you head is at!

Follow those little tips & tricks and we guarantee you'll have the best session ever! We have plenty more tips & tricks that we share with all of our new clients and we are always happy to answer any questions. If you would like to connect, head over to this link!

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Artist vs Entrepreneur

Juliette and I met in photography school in Paris 12 years ago. We spent 3 years learning about photography, its history and different technics (we even learnt about photographic film which was a lot of fun!). That process of learning pushed us to always discover and create more, we felt like true artists.

 
two french women being silly in front of the camera

Juliette & Fanny, many many many moons ago, in photography school 📸

 

We were using each other as models and always had weird (cough - I mean interesting) ideas that ended up being really cool 🕶️. It was all about figuring out our style by trying random things. We did not care about likes and comments or making money, it was all about creating.

Then we opened Scandaleuse and things changed. Don’t get us wrong we still give all of our creative energy and love to our work and community, but becoming business owners shift your perspective about art and our passion.

Having a business changes everything!

The main goal of opening a business is to make a living out of it. You spend countless of hours working on your branding, building a trustful reputation, finding professional relationships and new clients. You invest so much energy, time, and money, that you do every you can to make a return on all that investment. Which means that unfortunately you put most of the creative enjoyment on the side and focus on what your clients would enjoy.

Of course you create your branding at your image and your clients come to you because they enjoy and can relate to your style, but creating for your business is different than creating just for yourself.

If we were to only focus on being artists, we will put our clients in more complicated poses, creative and colourful makeup, always nude or in weir outfits… But the way we do boudoir photography is to make it accessible to everyone and get away from traditional boudoir. For us it is really important to make sure we adapt to our clients rather than the other way around, and even if our Scandals like our style they still want to look like themselves during their shoot. So we do have to follow their taste and add a bit of our twist to the mix. Honestly we are ok with this because people who shoot with us always have cool ideas but they are also happy to follow our directions!

And whenever we feel the need to explore our creativity and do personal shoots, we know we have people in our community who are always up to go on our boudoir adventures 😍

 
 

What to do if you feel like you are loosing your creativity and passion?

When you have a full-time business, especially as a creative, you can easily lose your passion to focus only on money. It is not something that happens right away, it take years before realizing that your business is killing the artist within you. One day you wakeup feeling unmotivated and frustrated, without understanding why. Then you realize you haven’t created in a long time just for the sick of creating because you have been too focused on your business.

Well the solution is quite simple:

Take some time to work on a personal project to refuel your creative juice!

For example, if you are a photographer think about an idea or style you want to experiment, find a model or two (or 20 if you have a crazy big vision), maybe add other creative peeps on your project, and make it this project come to life! Don’t think about how many likes or comments you can get from it on social media, or how much you could sell the pictures for, do it just to fill yourself with joy and pride.

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The importance of knowing how to highlight yourself in lingerie

As boudoir photographers we see so many different types of lingerie during our shoots and most of the time our clients’s favourite pieces are the ones that fit them the best. If you are used to wear lingerie, you know how uncomfortable pieces that don’t fit can be and you also know it is not that easy to find the perfect match. We don’t know for you but we weren’t taught, when we were younger, about what bras sizes or panty shapes were the best for our body type. It took us years, plenty of mistakes, and experts, to finally realize we were not wearing the right sizes.

 
 

First of all let’s clarify something:

There are so much more body shapes and sizes than what the fashion industry made us believe. Back then, when Juliette and I were teenagers and looking to wear our first bras, we were taught about all the common sizes and that we were supposed to fit in one of those (and when your body change, you find a new size and stick to it until your body changes again). But it wasn’t that simple!

It happened so many times we couldn’t find the perfect fit because we were in between sizes (for example having a bras that has the under band too tight but the cup too big). In those moments it was easy to feel like shit and see ourselves as women with large chest but small boobies 😟. Can you guess what happen when those feelings keep pilling up? Just a typical fall of our body confidence! All the bullshit about the “perfect bodies” was so deeply rooted that it never occurred to us that the problem didn’t come from our bodies but from the restricted rules of the fashion industry.

It is very important to understand the lack of body confidence has been a business for decades. The worst you feel about yourself the most likely you are to buy stuff that will “fix” the way you look (diets, plastic surgeries, props to change your body, beauty products to make you look younger or hairless,… sadly we could keep going). Making clothes that perfectly fit only a small portion of the population is one more of those marketing tricks that makes you feel bad about your body.

So next time you are trying on lingerie (or any pieces of clothing) and you are having a really hard time to find a size that works for you, remember that it is probably because the design of the collection isn’t cut for your shape and it is best to try something else.

Alright let’s go back to the main topic of this blog as we got a bit carried away (if you are part of our community you know by now we like to dig deeper with our topics and are passionate about destroying those old school believes 💪).

Why is it important to have lingerie that fits?

Both Juliette and I love lingerie. How designers play with the textures, all the styles you can find, and how sexy and confident lingerie can make you feel. But not every cuts are suitable for everyone and as we mentioned previously it is hard to know what shape is the best for our body. But when you find those precious pieces, it is heaven on Earth!

Here are 3 main reasons why having the right lingerie is a game changer:

Comfort

This is probably one of the most important reason. Wearing a bras with an underwire that digs into your skin or panties that are too tight they give you a frontal wedgie can really ruin your day. Even if those pieces are the most beautiful lingerie you ever saw, it is not worth putting your comfort on the side.

When you wear lingerie in your every day life, you don’t want it to be a struggle. Good lingerie makes itself discrete, almost like you are not wearing anything!

Look

Number two on our list is the way it looks on you. We are not talking about the style or colours but how you can easily notice when someone is wearing lingerie that doesn’t fit them (either it is too big or two small).

For example, too small panties can create body rolls you don’t have. And a bras that is too tight will make your breast overflow it which is very visible underneath your clothe. And that also works for bras that are too big revealing gaps in the cups.

When the lingerie you wear doesn’t properly highlight your curves but instead accentuate the parts of your body you might have a hard time to like, it doesn’t help with self-love.

Confidence

Which bring us to our last point: body confidence!

When you wear lingerie that suits you like a glove, that is light as a feather and smooth as a cloud, and that highlights perfectly all of your curves, it really makes you feel like a goddess. You start to see your body in a different light and realize that there is nothing wrong with it.

We’re telling you, it is like a super power! You put it on and suddenly there is a wave of sexyness coming at you that makes you say: “Damn I look good!” 😉.

If you are thinking: “ok ladies all of this sounds amazing but how can I actually know what size and shape of lingerie works best for me?” Well don’t worry we got you! We are partnering with Gigi’s House of Frills on July 8th and created a unique and intimate event that includes a semi-private fitting session, lingerie shopping, and some bubbly & bite-sized deserts. It will be a lot of fun and we hope you can join us:

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The importance of having a feminine circle

Have you ever felt completely like you are living your life on auto-pilot, in your routine and juggling various responsibilities? Then, a little mind lightbulb goes off to remind you that hey, it's been a while since you have done something for yourself, outside of your regular circle?

This makes it very easy to forget about our sensuality and femininity, leaving us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. This is when having a circle of like-minded women can help us stay grounded, connected and more importantly: supported. I need it, you need it, everybody needs it and here is why.

 
 

A space for self-expression and exploration

Saying that societal pressures has zero influence of us conforming to certain standards of femininity and beauty would be a total lie.

Saying that this never leaves us feeling like garbage would be an even bigger lie.

Stepping out of these leads to a better appreciation of ourselves on many levels but -god damn- it is hard and takes time. But it can be sped up with the right tools. Having the right feminine circle can provide a safe space for us to express ourselves authentically and explore our sensuality without judgment. It's a powerful bubble of fresh air that helps us embrace ourselves the way we deserve and celebrate our femininity. Who wouldn't want that?!

A source of empowerment and inspiration

Imagine having a bunch of hype women in your corner, ready to cheer you on on anything you wish to achieve. Imagine being a hype woman for somebody else who needs it. All the good vibes!

When we surround ourselves with strong, confident, and empowered women, we can't help but be inspired to be the best versions of ourselves. A solid feminine circle provides us with role models, mentors, and friends who motivate us to pursue our passions, take risks, and make our dreams a reality. Additionally, when we see other women succeeding and thriving, it reminds us that we, too, are capable of achieving wonderful things.

 
 

A support system to navigate through life

Life can be unpredictable, and it is natural to feel overwhelmed and alone at times.

Whether it's a breakup, a job loss, or a health scare, having a group of supportive women who understand and empathize brings a whole lot of comfort during life's challenges. When we share our struggles with others, not only do we feel less alone, but we also gain new perspectives and insights that can help us overcome our challenges. Let's prioritize building and nurturing our feminine circles, and watch as our lives transform for the better.

Do you want your circle? Join the Scandaleuse Sorority!

If what you read spoke to you and you are located in the GTA, we have great news for you! We are launching the Scandaleuse Sorority, a free space for women and femme-presenting people to make meaningful connections through events and workshops, boost your confidence and reconnect with your sensuality!

You can join it for free by clicking on the button below. Can't wait to see you there!

 
 

The Revenge Boudoir: reclaiming your body and worth after a break-up

As boudoir photographers, people have come to us with very different reasons for wanting to do a boudoir shoot. While many people may think the main reasons would be to do it for a partner, this is probably the last reason we get, quite the opposite. Lately, we've noticed a particular increase of what we can call the “f… you” boudoir: when you feel lost, hurt and even angry after a relationship ending and you need an outlet.

And we are here for it!

Why the hell not?

Break-ups can be tough and devastating, especially when you have invested your time, energy, and trust into a relationship. It can leave you with a shattered confidence, feeling completely disconnected from yourself, and struggling with your body and looks.

Now, you could wallow in self-pity, hurt yourself even more or seek revenge in unhealthy ways. Or… you could channel this energy and put it towards building yourself back up and bring some self-love back. A boudoir shoot, if done the right way, is absolutely going to be a trusty ally in this process.

A boudoir shoot will help you see yourself in a new light and appreciate your beauty and strength, from your own eyes first instead of somebody else's.

You know, those feelings that are an absolute must when you need to heal from parting ways with somebody and become your own friend again.

 
 

Reclaim your power, bring sexy back and trust yourself again.

Usually, after a break-up, you get on an emotional roller-coaster, stuck in analyzing everything that went wrong, and severely doubting yourself in the process. In the worst cases, you are left feeling completely unworthy and feeling as sexy as a broomstick.

Again, you could let yourself fall into this and feel like nobody will love you and let yourself believe you are indeed, as sexy as a broomstick, OR, you can decide that, hell no, you definitely don't deserve to feel this way (really, you don't.)

A boudoir shoot is a wonderful way to take control of your body, your image, and your narrative. It makes you ask yourself what makes YOU feel sexy and beautiful, no matter what it is, instead on focusing on what is a turn-on for your partner. It may be buried somewhere deep, but it is there, you just have to let it shine a little. With the right professionals (like us ;)), we will help you dig it out and be the hype women you need to express it all loud and proud.

The actual revenge feeling: showing what they are missing.

 
 

Okay, okay, this one shouldn't be the best motivation, and you should not base your self-worth on your ex's reaction, but let's be honest, we are human and it can be quite satisfying to get some powerful and badass photos of yourself and just imagine what your former partner is missing out on.

The photos of a boudoir shoot - should you choose to share them - can definitely send a pretty strong message that you are moving on and that you cannot be hold back or controlled. You are showing that you are not defined by anybody else's opinion or actions, and that you have the power to celebrate and showcase your beauty and sensuality on your own terms.

This can be a powerful way to regain your self-worth and remind yourself that you are not to be mistreated.

At the end of the day, the main reason to do a boudoir shoot is to regain confidence. It doesn't matter if it is anger or sadness that brought you in front of our lens. What matters is that you made it and you chose to put yourself first and use a powerful tool to, simply, start healing. Everybody deserves to feel sensual and beautiful. A boudoir shoot with help you celebrate your beauty and move on from a negative experience with grace and self-assurance.

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Stop avoiding your reflection

Have you ever taken the time to stop in front of a mirror and just look at yourself without any judgment? We are not talking about looking at yourself while you do your makeup or to check if you have a piece of lettuce stuck between your teeth. But really looking at your reflection for a certain amount of time with kindness , love, and gratitude, for that fucking strong being you are while dealing with the pain life can put on your path.

Probably not right! Well it is quite normal as we have been conditioned from a very young age to not like our body and avoid our own reflection. We have been told by the media and loved ones to:

  • not take too much room and stay quiet, otherwise you are asking for attention;

  • not show too much confidence because it will mean you think you are better than everyone else;

  • not compliment our own body or look, so people don’t think you are narcissistic.

On top of that past traumas destroy our sel-estime and create body dysmorphia, which makes it even harder to not ditch our reflection every time we pass in front of a mirror. But when you do take those minutes to look at yourself in the eyes and look at your beautiful body, magical things happens.

Let us tell you a little story:

 
 

Mirrors are not your ennemies

We had a boudoir shoot last year with one of our Scandal, Sarah, that we met a few years ago (if it is your first time here, we use the word “Scandal” for our clients or people within our community 😎). She was first part of a very creative shoot of the theme of fire, but then shot with us again for a regular boudoir shoot.

It was really nice during that boudoir shoot to create photographs around her personality and style compared to the first “fire shoot” which was designed to follow our ideas.

During that last session, we asked Sarah to pose in front of a mirror and look at herself and her body for a few minutes. There was a lot of emotions in her eyes and she later shared with us that shot was important and a huge moment for her":

“I had to look at my own reflection for an extended period of time, most of us don’t do that! I was able, considering I had so many body image issues because of my experiences, to look at my own reflection and feel positive, beautiful, strong, powerful, and confident, the entire time. And that has never happened to me before!”

This healing impact boudoir photography have on people is one of the reasons why we love doing it. And we cannot be more grateful to work with people who trust us enough to share their vulnerability with us 💛

Let’s give it a try, shall we?

We cannot write about something for you to try, especially for an exercise that can be hard to do if you don’t feel comfortable with your body, without trying it ourselves first. Personally I, Fanny, haven’t done this exercise in a long time so it will be interesting to see how it makes me feel. Both Juliette and I will share with you our honest thoughts!

But first here is the idea:

  • do this exercise when you are alone at home, you need peace and quiet;

  • you can do it fully naked or fully clothed, or an in-between, it does not really matter;

  • now look at your body with love and compassion, remember it has been carrying you since you were born and allows you to be alive.

  • Once you are done with the previous step, look at yourself in the eyes and put a hand on your heart. Think of everything you have accomplished so far and be proud of yourself.

How does it make you feel?

If this sounds to woo-woo for you, feel free to adapt it to your liking. The goal of this exercise is to help you reconnect with your body but also your mind, and help you feel better when you are feeling down about yourself.

Disclaimer: the results will never be the same when you try it because your mood and mental impact a lot the way we see yourself. It also varies from one person to another.

Our experience

Fanny

Those past months have been really hard (and I know I am not the only one who feels that way). I have been feeling disconnected from my body for probably over a year now, lost touch with my sensuality, and keep feeling this inside void. So tonight I decided to try this exercise after my shower because this is the moment when I feel the most relax.

I looked deep in my eyes and focused on all my qualities, reminding to myself all the things I have accomplished and whispering kinda of a pep talk to increase my self-esteem. Then run my fingers on my face, neck, arms, and chest, not in a sexual way but only to feel that connection I need. While keeping a soft smile on my face.

I needed that kindness to erase all the negative thoughts I can have about myself and it felt really good.

Juliette

I never look at myself more than 30 seconds in a mirror because it is really easy for me to become very critical over my body, especially when I don’t have a mirror with proper lighting. Maybe I could work on it, but lately I have been feeling really good about the way I look and don’t wanna take the risk to fuck it up by looking too long at myself.

But this time I made the effort to stay in front of my mirror a tad longer and I felt grateful for what my body does for me, especially since I am 31 years old. I know it is not going to last since I am getting older (thinking how broken I will be when hitting 90 😅) ! I am also very proud as I never thought I would ever be able to have this type of body. I am referring to a muscular body not a body following traditional beauty standards.

After years of having body dysmorphia phases, those are the best reminders that help me to not focus on little details but what is actually important!

That is it for today, we hope this blog will bring extra sunshine to your life or help you reconnect with your beautiful-self if you need it.

If you decide to give it a try, let us know in the comments how you felt, and don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter below if it is not done already ⬇️

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Fake Authenticity, filters & Social media

When the body positivity movement started a few years ago, we all became aware of how the media had been fooling us. Stretch marks, cellulite, real bodies we could identify with started popping up everywhere online and it finally added a breath of fresh air in those unachievable beauty standards we had been served for decades.

Beautiful movement, beautiful initiative and beautiful intentions, 10/10. But like every movement, it's been used to sell, promote and quite frankly get some likes.

 
 

"Fake Authenticity”: calling out a problem while contributing to it.

For the past couple of years, we have been seeing some posts praising authenticity and wanting to be inspirational. While some are actually doing just that, many of them just feel like “fake authenticity”. I am referring to those posts, mostly from women, in which they show a quite strongly edited photo previously posted and then the real version, slapping the label "social media is fake".

Naturally, when I come across those posts, I can't help myself and I have to look at the rest of the timeline of those lovely ladies. And sometimes, they do walk the walk: their photos look unedited and real and it's awesome. But on most profiles, they aren't. That, to me, is attention-seeking at its finest: you're calling out a problem while contributing to it.

Well, what's the solution then?

This issue has been officially called out openly a million times. What we need to see now is not before/afters or to make loud noises about it how social media is indeed inaccurate. We need to see that the changes are actually being applied by making unedited photos normal. And it is our responsibility as much as the influencers and whatnot.

So, how do we do it? We ditch the filters.

 
 

Ok cool, but it's not that easy to stop those filters.

Filters and editing apps have become incredibly easy and realistic to use, so I don't blame you for falling into this rabbit hole. I did it myself in the old days, when I discovered Photoshop. Some filters are even sneaked in without you knowing: my phone for example has an automatic skin smoother setting that I didn't notice right away.

If you got used to seeing yourself using filters, it is going to suck for a little while to stop using them, but trust me, your self-esteem will bounce back.

• Ask yourself why you feel the need to use them to begin with.

Are you afraid of people judging you? Do you just feel like your appearance isn't good enough to be without a filter? Do you compare yourself to others and are trying to match them somehow? Identifying the key reason will help you see what you need to work on.

• Understand that the more you use filters, the more you'll feed your insecurities.

This one may be a given, but yes, the more you see yourself with perfect skin and whatnot, the harsher you will be on yourself looking in the mirror. It's a vicious cycle and you don't deserve to spend your life hating your reflection.

• Learn to use proper tools to take pretty photos without editing

Wanting flattering photos of yourself is perfectly normal. It's an excellent confidence-booster on many levels. But you don't need to rely on editing to get them. By learning basic tips about lighting and posing, you can already do wonders showing the real you and highlight your best features.

 

Pssst! We have a tool ready for you!

We actually created a whole online guide to teach you how to take beautiful photos of yourself with your phone. It's a great alternative to a professional photoshoot if you don't feel ready for one. You can experiment in the comfort of your own home, judgment and pressure free. Click here for more info!

 

• Follow people who don't use filters, for real.

We can say whatever we want about the toxicity of social media, but we are also responsible for what we allow ourselves to see. Replace the accounts that make you feel bad about yourself by others that inspire you instead. For example, Mik Zazon is a delight to follow. Ours is, of course, also a great option as all the bodies you'll see are not edited. On the french side of things Louise from Mybetterself is one of our favorites.

You got this, friends! Give yourself the gift of seeing the real you on a daily basis, because, you know what? You're pretty awesome.

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Why don't we provide lingerie for our boudoir shoots?

We often receive inquiries in which people ask us if we provide lingerie during our boudoir shoots. It is indeed pretty common for Canadian boudoir photographers to offer this service (definitively not common in France thought so we would be curious to know what photographers in other countries think about that). We are assuming people like the idea of having access to more “luxurious” lingerie sets so we understand why this type of service can be wanted, but it is not something we are doing nor plan to do in the future.

Our reasons are based on our branding and personal taste, we are absolutely not denigrating our fellow photographers for choosing to provide lingerie to their clients!

Before scrolling down, can you guess our 3 main reasons?

 
woman being photographed eyes closed enjoying wind in her her sitting on a rooftop in Toronto.
 
  1. Body Diversity

    The most important reason is that if we were to provide lingerie during our shoots the logistic will be insane for us. Since we opened Scandaleuse 6 years ago, our clientele includes people of every shapes and sizes, so if we were to include lingerie in our sessions we would need to have a lingerie store in order to keep being body inclusive and give our clients plenty of choices.

    We think providing lingerie is a great option for photographers who photograph mostly the same type of bodies (such as professional models for example) or the ones who only want to offer a few pieces to their clients.

  2. Choice Of Outfits

    Second reason is that, in our opinion it is important to not feel like you are wearing a disguise when you do a boudoir shoot. We always suggest to our Scandals (AKA our clients) to wear outfits that makes them feel like their most confident, sensual, sexy, badass, or whatever else - self they want to feel. We tell them to be creative and think outside the box when it comes to their boudoir outfits, especially if a traditional set of lingerie is not their thing.

    We do not want to take pictures of people wearing the same outfits. Providing the lingerie to our Scandals would be too restrictive which is the opposite of what Scandaleuse is about: allowing yourself to give the spotlight to all your personalities instead of making you fit into a mold!

  3. Is It Really Hygienic?

    Even it is safe to assume all pieces are being washed after each clients when photographers provide lingerie during their shoots, we personally don’t find this practice is super hygienic. Maybe some people don’t mind it but personally I, Fanny, would not feel comfortable wearing thongs or panties multiple people wear before me (unless I washed them myself to make sure it is really clean).

    When you do a shoot, especially if it is your first time, you want to make sure you are as relax as you can, so if you spend half of the session worrying about the cleanliness of what you are wearing it could make you tense and ruin your boudoir shoot.

    If you choose to shoot with a studio that provide the lingerie for you, make sure to ask how they clean their lingerie and how often it has been worn.

 
woman looking at herself in mirror in boudoir photography setting
 

Making our boudoir shoots as flexible and inclusive as we can has been our goal since day one and we are very proud of ourselves for keeping it this way!

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Sentences you should never hear during a boudoir shoot

We opened Scandaleuse Photography 6 years ago and let us tell you that we have read and heard some pretty disturbing things coming from other photographers in the boudoir industry. We remember a few years ago we read on a boudoir photography website that this company could “make you be desirable again” 🤢. We were shocked to see that some professionals still believe that a boudoir shoot’s purpose is only to please a partner and make sure this partner will find you desirable. Pardon our french, but what a load of BS.

Let’s clear this old school belief once and for all: a boudoir shoot should be done for yourself first! Of course it is always a cool idea to show the pictures to your partner, even gifting them the photographs, but we see this as an extra bonus.

 
 

Your boudoir shoot should be a safe space

Boudoir photography is such a liberating experience but not the easiest (especially if it is your first time) as posing half naked in front of a stranger is probably not something you do everyday. So from the message on the photographer’s website to their guidance during the day of the shoot, you should feel at ease and safe.

It is really easy for some photographers, especially if they are used to work with professional models, to forget that not everyone feel comfortable in front of a camera and not everyone have experience posing. So when they work with people who pose for the first time, they can easily misguide them or become impatient, and end up saying the wrong things while guiding their clients.

Here are 5 sentences you will never hear us say during a boudoir shoot:

  • “This doesn’t look good on you!”

Because we like to photograph our clients in outfits that make them feel like their most beautiful and confident-selves, we do not provide any lingerie. We let them bring clothing and accessories they love and want to be photographed in. So if someone bring something we don’t necessarily like or we think it is not gonna look good, it is not our role to tell them if they should wear it or not (we are not the fashion police). As long as they feel good in it, that is all that matters.

And in case they decide to wear an outfit that fits them in a weird or non-flattering way, we will make sure to adjust it on their body, rather than saying something judgmental.

  • “Just relax ok!”

Like we mentioned earlier, boudoir photography isn’t the easiest experience to try. A lot of people have a negative relationship with their body or feel very uncomfortable in front of a camera. So it is absolutely normal to feel nervous during the shoot! But if the photographer tells you that you should relax, well it is not gonna magically happen and it might stresses you out even more.

What we personally like to do when we see that our client is tensed and nervous is to:

- crack a joke;

- make a silly dance move;

- demonstrate the pose in a non-serious way; or

Any other technics we can use that make us look a bit ridiculous so our client smiles, laughs, and sees that there is no point to take yourself too seriously during a shoot.

  • “You are not listening to the directions I give you!“

Talking about impatient photographers, this is something no one should ever tell you on a shoot (in any type of photography). Knowing to give clear posing directions to their models is the number one skill any photographer should have.

If during the shoot, you feel like it is hard to understand what the photographer is asking you to do, ask them to demonstrate the poses so you can have a visual. It is easier to copy the steps rather than trying to figure them out.

  • “Smile!”

If you ever had your picture taken, as a kid or even now as an adult for example with headshots, you probably heard the photographer tell you “look at the camera and smile!”. If you are part of the lucky peeps who enjoy being in front of a camera then it is probably not a problem. But if you are like most of the people we know and the camera makes you uncomfortable, you probably find it cringey and you know it doesn’t work (or it reveals your most awkward smile). You end up looking at those pictures and tell yourself you are not photogenic… spoiler alert: everyone is photogenic, you just need the good guidance!

What we do during our shoot when we want to make you smile or give us a little smirk is, once again, we make a joke to make you smile and snap a few pictures. Or we tell you to give us your best fake laugh, we of course show you how to do it, which usually makes you smile (or laugh) as well 😄

  • “Now be sexy!”

One of the goals of a boudoir shoot is to help you discover or re-discover your sexyness and sensuality. But if the photographer comes in front of you with their camera and tells you: “Ok, now be sexy!”, the chances are you will not know what to do and you will probably feel awkward.

It is really difficult to feel sexy on command, especially if doing a boudoir shoot puts you out of your comfort zone. Maybe you don’t even want to focus on your sexy side during your shoot and instead work on your confidence or something else. So you really don’t want the photographer to ask you to be sexy when they decide it is time for you to be.

Instead make sure to communicate what is the purpose of your shoot and the vibes you want to get from the pictures. Your photographer should be able to highlight whatever atmosphere you want to create with the poses, lighting, and any outfits and accessories you brought with you.

If you enjoyed today’s blog, you will love to know what are the most hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers 😂

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Do you think you see your body the way it really is?

Before we begin, a little disclaimer: the following post is based on our own experiences & feelings. This does not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals.

Have you ever found yourself too fat or too thin out of the blue? Have you ever been deeply challenged by your reflection in the mirror? Have you ever felt oh-so-certain that you have body flaws despite hearing the opposite from loved ones?

If so, welcome to the world of body dysmorphia.

Body-dysmorphia, a big scary word we think never applies to us.

 
 

Body what now? The official definition of body-dysmorphia is as follow:

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others.

-NHS

Now, if you are like me, you hear “disorder” and you think “well that's not me, I'm not sick or whatever". The minute we slap medical terms on it, it becomes surreal and scary, but let us rephrase that definition:

Body-dysmorphia is when you don't see your body the way it actually is despite being convinced it is a certain way.

The most common example, and the one I personally deal with, is seeing yourself bigger than you actually are.

There are different levels of BDD. For some of us, myself included, we can still live our lives properly. For others, it becomes an obsession that can lead to eating disorders, social isolation and so on.

So, how does body-dysmorphia actually show?

BDD usually shows itself when we become teenagers. Our bodies change fairly quickly, plus, we are leaving our childhood where we pretty much didn't give a crap about our appearance and suddenly, it seems to define us.

Our brain is having a hard time processing this and we are left pointing out everything we think is wrong with us. Except for many of us, it doesn't stop there and we carry it until our adulthood.

Here are of the common ways BDD shows its ugly head:

• Checking yourself in the mirror, repeatedly, focusing on your “flaws”;

• Feeling certain that said flaws make you ugly or even deformed;

• Being convinced that you lost/put on weight based on no concrete proofs whatsoever;

• Trying to “fix” said flaws by over exercising, and often adjusting diet;

• Strongly believing that your flaws are only what other people see;

• Attempting to hide perceived flaws with styling, makeup or clothes;

• Constantly comparing your appearance with others;

• Frequently seeking reassurance about your appearance from others;

 Avoiding social gatherings;

• Feeling completely down for the whole day or more because of your appearance…

The list goes on and on. I don't know about you, but I can safely say that I have experienced over half this list.

What happens to me when the body-dysmorphia monster is knocking on my door and how I deal with it:

I am in my 30’s and I still involuntarily carry the BD monster in my back pocket. I don’t think it will ever go away. BUT, thanks to my experience and my work, I manage to considerably shorten its stays. My BD monster is weight related: I feel like I am bigger than usual especially around my waist.

Usually, it happens when I am off my eating and exercising routine for a week. If I didn’t prioritize my workouts sessions, and ate like crap, I can guarantee you that I am going to think I put on weight and it is going to make me feel guilty and shitty.

My remedy? Giving myself a severe reality check.

Sometimes, you need to give your head a shake.

 
 

1) I gather objective facts about why I would be feeling this way.

Like I said, it could be because I didn’t stick to my routine but it can also be because I am about to start my period and I feel bloated or I haven’t slept well for a while and/or I’m stressed. This really helps to remind myself that the vision I have of my body is very likely inaccurate because my mind doesn’t have the good fuel I usually give it.

2) I remind myself that it is physically impossible to have drastic body change in one week.

You’re not going to put on or lose 10 pounds in a week. Biologically, weight changes take a lot longer to show. Your body is smart and if you take a negative turn on your eating habits, it won’t show for a little while.

3) I remind myself that my body is doing its thing during the day and that it is normal if it looks different.

This one is for those who, like me, wish for a constant flat stomach. It’s a myth. Our bodies digest, they bloat, they eliminate. I’m actually pretty damn lucky it does all of that for me. Side note: our lower abdomen as a little cushion because it is protecting our uterus. When you see it like this, typing “how to lose lower belly fat” on Google makes a lot less sense.

4) I remind myself that I have felt this way in the past and have been very wrong.

The first time I realized I had a BD monster was when I looked at photos of my teenaged years, when I felt incredibly fat and I obviously wasn’t. It is usually enough to tell myself that there is a good chance I could be doing the exact same thing right now.

5) I let go of the guilt

Scheduling more workouts and diet change is very common for me as an attempt to “right my wrongs”. When I catch myself doing this, I sit my ass down and remember that, hey, I don’t work out to lose weight, I work out because it makes me feel good. And yeah, maybe I went a bit overboard food wise, but I needed it at the time and it also came with good memories with my loved ones.

So fuck it.
Yes, F U C K I T.
I did nothing wrong, there is nothing to fix, all I need to go back to what feels good and I will. and so will you.

I truly hope that reading this will help you feel less alone and give you some tools to kick your Body-Dysmorphia monster in the balls. We have written additional tips here, in case you need some. .

Here are some helpful books if you are looking to do some digging and heal yourself: The Broken Mirror by Katharine Phillips & Shattered Image by Brian Cuban.

If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask for help and find a therapist to guide you through it all. You don’t have to do this alone

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