Personal story - the search for the perfect birth control method

Disclaimer: In this post I am talking about my own experience and feedback about birth control methods. I am not a doctor and this should not be considered as legal advice. You should seek appropriate counsel for your own situation.

Today we are back with a blog on a more personal topic: birth control methods. If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to talk about our life’s experiences on topics people don’t necessarily talk about. We believe that talking about those things are a great way to remove the unnecessary pressure and clichés that surround them.

It ain't a walk in a park!

Fanny writing today by the way! In 2018, I was sharing with you why I decided to stop taking the birth control pill and switch to a non-hormonal copper IUD (the Intrauterine Device is a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that's put into your uterus to prevent pregnancy. It’s long-term, reversible, and one of the most effective birth control methods out there). Both Juliette and I tried it but we had different experiences. You can read Juliette’s opinion on the IUD here!

Even if I think it is much better than the pill, I unfortunately had to remove mine last year. In my opinion, the IUD is an amazing birth control method and I wish more people were using it. It can last from 3 to 10 years depending of the brand, it is more affordable than pill, and once it is inserted you have nothing to do beside checking every year it didn’t move. But it is not for everyone!

Let’s start by the beginning: the insertion. I have a good pain tolerance but the insertion was painful! My family doctor was the one to insert it and instead of opening the T part at once, she did in 3 or 4 times which made it extremely painful for me. I spent the rest of the day feeling unwell which is very common: strong cramps, headaches, and I also felt nauseous for a few hours.

The first year was ok-ish beside the fact I got a strong acne and had my real period (when you take the pill, your periods are “regulated”. You lose less blood, they are usually shorter, and less painful). But the longer I kept the IUD the more intense the cramping were, to a point that I almost passed out several times. It was also weird for me to have this foreign object in my body and I always had the impression I could feel it. Move forward 2022, I took the decision to remove it even though I had one year left. I could tell it wasn’t the right birth control method for me and since I wasn’t dating anyone it was the perfect moment to stop the process.

Now what?

I have been birth control free for a year now and I really enjoy it. But I am ready to date again and since I do not want to have any kids, I have to find a new one on top of using condoms. Unfortunately, my options are getting limited: I do not want to take any hormones, and I don’t wanna go back with an IUD. If you are wondering what other choices I have, here are the two options I am thinking of:

• Fertility awareness such as tracking my ovulation period using tools like my basal body temperature, or cervical mucus. I feel very excited to try this out but it also stresses me a lot. I love the idea of going natural and learning more about my body, but if it is not done properly then the chance of getting pregnant increases 😟

• Tubal removal procedure. This is an irreversible birth control method in which both of the fallopian tubes are being completely removed. This would be perfect for me since you cannot get pregnant with this surgery. The only thing that makes me think twice about it is that, depending of the person, it can make the period more painful than they usually are.

I already started to get information about this procedure. I talk to my family doctor first but she wasn’t very supportive and told me it is not something that is usually done in Canada. But I insisted so she sent me to see a gynaecologist and to my surprise she didn’t give me a hard time nor try to make me give up on the idea. I have read online that many doctors are against this surgery (unless you already had plenty of kids), because it is permanent and they have a hard believing people who say they don’t want children. I was ready to fight for my rights and the control over my own body but didn’t have to. She of course had to make sure I understood it is irreversible, but since I am very set in stones with that decision, and told her I was having a hard time finding the perfect birth control method, she put me on a waiting list to get that procedure done. Which gives me the time to do more researches!

Also the fact that my family doctor lied to me a little with her statement saying it is not common for people to do that here in Canada made me a tad angry. I can see why a lot of people are having a hard time finding doctors who respect their medical decision.

I have learned a lot about the tubal removal procedure and will probably write another blog to talk more about it.

We hope you enjoy this type of content! Even if those of blogs are not directly related to our work as boudoir photographers, it is an important part of who Juliette and I are, and the values we share. We make it a priority to be authentic, and we truly believe that if people were to talk more often about their everyday struggles and experiences, there will be less taboos around important topics and the world would be a better place!

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How to prep for your boudoir shoot

Congrats, you did it! You gathered the courage to book your boudoir shoot and now, the official preparation can officially begin! While it can be a little nerve-wracking, prepping for your shoot is very exciting and a big part of how confident and comfortable you will feel during your session. Here are some tips to help you get ready both for your mind and your body.

On the mindset side of things

Chances are, you are already in a "screw it, let's do this” mindset if you already booked your session, but if it was a little quiet, it's time to make it roar! Don't let your pre-shoot jitters take over and remind yourself of your "no f.. given” attitude. This is your time to let loose and have fun!

Leave your body alone!

More often than not, we hear "I need to lose/gain a few pounds before my shoot”. This is not the right way to go about it.

If you want to take advantage of this session to get a good balance in your life and feel your best, like managing your stress, set up better nutrition habits and movement and improve your sleep, all the power to you. But if you are going to kill yourself at the gym in hopes to change your body, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Let's say you do manage to trim or bulk up in time, chances are you will go back to your regular self shortly after your session. Getting your photos might get you excited at first, but after a little while, you may not feel so good about them and end up comparing your body then and now.

Your photos are meant to be a keep sake, a long-term reminder of how beautiful and confident you are, in your every day body. Just let your body be and place your focus other aspect of your session, like what oufits make you feel your best.

Choose your outfits carefully

When selecting outfits for your boudoir shoot, choose pieces that you feel comfortable and confident in. Don't be afraid to mix and match different pieces to create a unique and personalized look. We can do up to 5 outfits in one session, and we definitely encourage you to have different vibes to illustrate different facets of your personality.

They don't have to be regular lingerie either! Any outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, and we will help you style it as such.

Practicing posing can help

Even if it isn't your job to know what to do in front of the camera and that we will guide you through it all, it can be helpful to practice some poses at home in front of a mirror.

Don't worry too much about it, but don't be scared to experiment just a little, check some poses and angles you might like. It will make you feel more confident once you are in front of the lens.

A few extra quickies before we end this…

Prep a playlist

Music has a huge influence on our moods, so definitely make yourself a playlist of songs that make you feel sexy & confident!

Watch those tan lines!

Bad tan lines can really ruin a look and are pretty much impossible to remove properly in post-production. If you are planning on hitting the beach before your shoot, make sure to either use sunblock or sunbathe au naturel…

Gather some inspo

Whether it is for makeup, outfits or poses, don't hesitate to fall into a Pinterest rabbit hole and save anything that catch your eye. Dismiss the perfect bodies and poses and just focus on the whole ambiance of the shot. It is so nice to get inspired with other looks and for us, it is helpful to see where you head is at!

Follow those little tips & tricks and we guarantee you'll have the best session ever! We have plenty more tips & tricks that we share with all of our new clients and we are always happy to answer any questions. If you would like to connect, head over to this link!

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Artist vs Entrepreneur

Juliette and I met in photography school in Paris 12 years ago. We spent 3 years learning about photography, its history and different technics (we even learnt about photographic film which was a lot of fun!). That process of learning pushed us to always discover and create more, we felt like true artists.

Juliette & Fanny, many many many moons ago, in photography school 📸

We were using each other as models and always had weird (cough - I mean interesting) ideas that ended up being really cool 🕶️. It was all about figuring out our style by trying random things. We did not care about likes and comments or making money, it was all about creating.

Then we opened Scandaleuse and things changed. Don’t get us wrong we still give all of our creative energy and love to our work and community, but becoming business owners shift your perspective about art and our passion.

Having a business changes everything!

The main goal of opening a business is to make a living out of it. You spend countless of hours working on your branding, building a trustful reputation, finding professional relationships and new clients. You invest so much energy, time, and money, that you do every you can to make a return on all that investment. Which means that unfortunately you put most of the creative enjoyment on the side and focus on what your clients would enjoy.

Of course you create your branding at your image and your clients come to you because they enjoy and can relate to your style, but creating for your business is different than creating just for yourself.

If we were to only focus on being artists, we will put our clients in more complicated poses, creative and colourful makeup, always nude or in weir outfits… But the way we do boudoir photography is to make it accessible to everyone and get away from traditional boudoir. For us it is really important to make sure we adapt to our clients rather than the other way around, and even if our Scandals like our style they still want to look like themselves during their shoot. So we do have to follow their taste and add a bit of our twist to the mix. Honestly we are ok with this because people who shoot with us always have cool ideas but they are also happy to follow our directions!

And whenever we feel the need to explore our creativity and do personal shoots, we know we have people in our community who are always up to go on our boudoir adventures 😍

What to do if you feel like you are loosing your creativity and passion?

When you have a full-time business, especially as a creative, you can easily lose your passion to focus only on money. It is not something that happens right away, it take years before realizing that your business is killing the artist within you. One day you wakeup feeling unmotivated and frustrated, without understanding why. Then you realize you haven’t created in a long time just for the sick of creating because you have been too focused on your business.

Well the solution is quite simple:

Take some time to work on a personal project to refuel your creative juice!

For example, if you are a photographer think about an idea or style you want to experiment, find a model or two (or 20 if you have a crazy big vision), maybe add other creative peeps on your project, and make it this project come to life! Don’t think about how many likes or comments you can get from it on social media, or how much you could sell the pictures for, do it just to fill yourself with joy and pride.

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“I’ll do a shoot when I will have the perfect body!”

The following is the most common reason that stops people from trying a boudoir shoot (honestly, if someone were to give us a loony every time we heard that sentence, we will be rich by now 💰), and it usually goes like this:

“I want to do a shoot so badly but I need to lose weight first!”

NO YOU DON’T NEED TO. You don’t need to look thinner, you don’t need to be more muscular, you don’t need to go through plastic surgery.

Don’t get us wrong, if for example your goal is to do a boudoir-fitness shoot then of course you will want to showcase your muscles. But if you want to do a shoot for yourself, to feel more confident and sensual, then do it the way you are: beautiful au naturel 💛.

The eternal search for the “perfect” body

Because of classic boudoir photographs, it is not surprising to hear that so many people believe they have to lose weight, be more fit, or change their body one way or another, in order to do a shoot. We are in 2023 and body diversity is still not well represented in our field. What you can mostly see are heavily photoshopped professional models with the same body type.

This makes it hard for most people to imagine they could do a boudoir shoot even if they don’t look like those models. What’s even harder is that it does not stop at boudoir but is everywhere we look, especially with social media. And even thought a lot of people fight for body diversity acceptance, we are still not there yet.

The belief that a body is beautiful only if it follows certain standards is so deeply rooted that it will take years to disappear, and will stop only if people learn to accept their body and love it the way it is.

Changing your body for a boudoir shoot is a dangerous game

Let say for example you don’t like the way you look because you think you are too big and you believe that you have to attain a certain number in order to do a shoot. You will work hard, maybe for months, to reach to your boudoir goal, and once you get there you finally do your shoot. Awesome you did it, but can you guess what happens next?

Most likely there will be two scenarios:

• #1: This experience was kind of a wake up call for you. Fitness becomes an important habit in your life. You feel motivated to keep working on this new body of yours and are very happy about it.

• #2 (and the most common): you don’t get any pleasure from that fitness journey so you stop and your body goes back to its natural shape and size.

Creating new habits, especially around body transformation, is hard and for a lot of people not worth the struggles and time around it.

What’s “dangerous” with changing your body before a shoot is that when you will look at those photographs in the future (and you still don’t feel confident about yourself) it will triggers tons of negative emotions because what you see on pictures doesn’t reflect who you are and what you look like. You will probably think you were more beautiful at that time and this will make your confidence completely drop.

In our opinion boudoir photography is about body acceptance, self-confidence, sensuality, and empowerment. Basically it is about accepting your whole badass-self!

Au naturel is better

Learning to accept your natural body and find beauty even with the parts you like less or hate is possible and requires practice. It is about changing the perspective you have regarding what you look like and running far far away from the destructive fashion industry’s beauty standards.

Also if you love social media, start following people who have the same body type as you and who inspire you. Follow people who are authentic with strong and human values. People who teach about body acceptance and self-love. But if you start feeling jealous about what you see online, then it is time to take a break from social media.

Your body is not your enemy. Be kind, gentle, and loving with it!

Be the same way as you are when your best friend is having a hard time: compassionate. Throwing hate or negative feeling at yourself will only make you feel worst. Only you can change the narrative 😘

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The real motive behind Boudoir Photography

Ah. Pretty boudoir photos. Well that’s nice. You get them done and forget about them within a couple of months right? What if we told you that it’s actually false? Indeed, there are many benefits in boudoir photography, but one that we tend to forget is that it is just a perfect occasion to simply pause your busy life and take time to yourself.

(Disclaimer: we are going to focus on women because – well - that is what we are, but the following does apply to anybody.)

Everything and everyone else comes first.

If you are a caring human being, chances are your own well-being is not #1 on your priority list. Your family, your kid, your partner, your business, your problems, you name it, probably are. Congratulations, you are a decent person and we need more people like you!

However, it doesn’t mean your own self-care should be forgotten. After all, you do read it on Instagram every day, with a perfect woman doing an incredible yoga pose at sunset hashtagging #NamasteBitches

And this perfect lady isn’t totally wrong. The reality is that, by putting people or things before you every day, all the time, chances of you burning out will be real. You will end up walking around with a little rain cloud over your head, wondering who you are, what the meaning of life is and how the hell you get out of this.

We can assure you that you’re gonna have one day during which you will feel the urge to slam doors as hard as you can because you’re not supposed to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders but you are trying anyway.

Why is this bad for you? Because you need to be at peace with yourself to basically function and do great things. How can you if you don’t take time to…. take time?

Why are so many women struggling with this to begin with?

Simple answer: we are naturally nurturing. But most importantly, we are expected to be (you know, the ability to be mothers and also the fact that we actually give a crap about what’s around us and all that). You are expected to be relied on and quite frankly, chances are you will be considered selfish if you dared announcing loud and clear “screw it, it’s me time today!”. How dare you, since your primary function is to take care of someone?

So, what do we do? We restrain ourselves from doing what we really want to do. It doesn’t have to be something big like moving to Argentina but even little pleasures in life that could do us some good.

Do we even deserve to do this?

Of course, even when we decide to finally splurge and something for ourselves, it doesn't always come easy. A little demon often sneaks in our brains and tell you "how dare you?! This is not for you.”

Women constantly undervalue themselves and it is a sad but true fact. On top of taking care of people and their things, we also think that we are not worth less than anybody else. Probably because we are constantly reminded that we can always do more. So why would we reward ourselves with some “me-time” to begin with?

If you think this way, this is the moment when you take a seat, grab the tea we’re giving you, look at us right in the eye while we tell you “you are doing the best you can, you are awesome and you deserve a break.”

What does our boudoir work have to do with any of this?

Boudoir isn't just about creating gorgeous art with your sexy self. It's a whole experience. It’s a safe space in which you can let go, think about you, and more importantly: reconnect with yourself.

For a short amount of time in your busy schedule, you are a priority. You can be your true self without hiding behind anything and even better: without being judged.

By embracing your vulnerability and turning it into a strength, you will be able to grow (or rediscover) your confidence. And then what?

You make a powerful tool out of it and use it in your everyday life.

Not only will you feel stronger and become a better partner, friend, mother, but you will trust yourself a lot more to make bigger and scarier decisions. It will be easier for you to take on new challenges and succeed at them. All of this coming from a simple photoshoot out of your comfort zone.

Don’t underestimate the power of taking time to yourself. We all need to disconnect from our “duties” and reconnect with ourselves. And boudoir is a pretty neat way to do it.

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The importance of knowing how to highlight yourself in lingerie

As boudoir photographers we see so many different types of lingerie during our shoots and most of the time our clients’s favourite pieces are the ones that fit them the best. If you are used to wear lingerie, you know how uncomfortable pieces that don’t fit can be and you also know it is not that easy to find the perfect match. We don’t know for you but we weren’t taught, when we were younger, about what bras sizes or panty shapes were the best for our body type. It took us years, plenty of mistakes, and experts, to finally realize we were not wearing the right sizes.

First of all let’s clarify something:

There are so much more body shapes and sizes than what the fashion industry made us believe. Back then, when Juliette and I were teenagers and looking to wear our first bras, we were taught about all the common sizes and that we were supposed to fit in one of those (and when your body change, you find a new size and stick to it until your body changes again). But it wasn’t that simple!

It happened so many times we couldn’t find the perfect fit because we were in between sizes (for example having a bras that has the under band too tight but the cup too big). In those moments it was easy to feel like shit and see ourselves as women with large chest but small boobies 😟. Can you guess what happen when those feelings keep pilling up? Just a typical fall of our body confidence! All the bullshit about the “perfect bodies” was so deeply rooted that it never occurred to us that the problem didn’t come from our bodies but from the restricted rules of the fashion industry.

It is very important to understand the lack of body confidence has been a business for decades. The worst you feel about yourself the most likely you are to buy stuff that will “fix” the way you look (diets, plastic surgeries, props to change your body, beauty products to make you look younger or hairless,… sadly we could keep going). Making clothes that perfectly fit only a small portion of the population is one more of those marketing tricks that makes you feel bad about your body.

So next time you are trying on lingerie (or any pieces of clothing) and you are having a really hard time to find a size that works for you, remember that it is probably because the design of the collection isn’t cut for your shape and it is best to try something else.

Alright let’s go back to the main topic of this blog as we got a bit carried away (if you are part of our community you know by now we like to dig deeper with our topics and are passionate about destroying those old school believes 💪).

Why is it important to have lingerie that fits?

Both Juliette and I love lingerie. How designers play with the textures, all the styles you can find, and how sexy and confident lingerie can make you feel. But not every cuts are suitable for everyone and as we mentioned previously it is hard to know what shape is the best for our body. But when you find those precious pieces, it is heaven on Earth!

Here are 3 main reasons why having the right lingerie is a game changer:

Comfort

This is probably one of the most important reason. Wearing a bras with an underwire that digs into your skin or panties that are too tight they give you a frontal wedgie can really ruin your day. Even if those pieces are the most beautiful lingerie you ever saw, it is not worth putting your comfort on the side.

When you wear lingerie in your every day life, you don’t want it to be a struggle. Good lingerie makes itself discrete, almost like you are not wearing anything!

Look

Number two on our list is the way it looks on you. We are not talking about the style or colours but how you can easily notice when someone is wearing lingerie that doesn’t fit them (either it is too big or two small).

For example, too small panties can create body rolls you don’t have. And a bras that is too tight will make your breast overflow it which is very visible underneath your clothe. And that also works for bras that are too big revealing gaps in the cups.

When the lingerie you wear doesn’t properly highlight your curves but instead accentuate the parts of your body you might have a hard time to like, it doesn’t help with self-love.

Confidence

Which bring us to our last point: body confidence!

When you wear lingerie that suits you like a glove, that is light as a feather and smooth as a cloud, and that highlights perfectly all of your curves, it really makes you feel like a goddess. You start to see your body in a different light and realize that there is nothing wrong with it.

We’re telling you, it is like a super power! You put it on and suddenly there is a wave of sexyness coming at you that makes you say: “Damn I look good!” 😉.

If you are thinking: “ok ladies all of this sounds amazing but how can I actually know what size and shape of lingerie works best for me?” Well don’t worry we got you! We are partnering with Gigi’s House of Frills on July 8th and created a unique and intimate event that includes a semi-private fitting session, lingerie shopping, and some bubbly & bite-sized deserts. It will be a lot of fun and we hope you can join us:

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6 reasons why men should do a dudeoir shoot

Raise your hand if the idea of trying a dudeoir shoot is appealing but you are not sure why you would do a shoot 🙋‍♂️. Well keep reading because this blog is definitively for you!

Wait, boudoir photography is only for women no?

First of all let's demystify boudoir photography and the fact a lot of people believe it is only for women. To make it simple a boudoir shoot is an indoors or outdoors photography session, in which you show more skin than in a regular photoshoot. It can be done in lingerie, or any outfit truly, as long as you show some skin. But wearing only a piece a fabric, or nothing at all is also an option.

You do not need to have any modelling experience, neither be of a certain age, body shape, or gender, in order to try boudoir photography. The only thing you need is your handsome-self (and talented photographers - AKA us 😉).

Is dudeoir photography different than boudoir?

Nope. The term dudeoir was invented so men can relate more to this type of photography by being less afraid to end up with pictures of themselves that could potential be too feminine for their taste. But the goal stays the same:

Feeling empowered and sexy!

It is not because this industry showcases mostly women that you cannot do a boudoir shoot as a man. Either you want very masculine and moody pictures of yourself to highlight your virility, or want a shoot that is more airy to show your softer side, your session should be done the way you want, for whatever reasons you have.

Speaking of reasons…

Since boudoir photography isn’t common for men, most of them held back from doing a shoot because they don't know why they would even give it a try.

But here are a few reasons:

• Accept and appreciate your body the way it is

Media put so much pressure on people with all the “beauty standards” that having a clouded vision of our body doesn't only happen to women, it is universal! Most of us wish parts of our body could be different:

“I wish I could be more muscular, thinner, taller, have more boobs, a bigger weenie,…”

The truth is that we should be able to love the way we look naturally instead of wanted to be different. When you learn to accept your body the way it is, you stop comparing yourself to others and start building a stronger confidence.

• Boost your confidence

Speaking of confidence :)… A boudoir shoot is a challenge by itself. It can make you feel vulnerable and pushes you out of your comfort zone. But this is good as it helps you grow and develop that confidence we all need.

Can you guess why it is important to be confident?

It gives you the strength to go through life challenges and make the world your oyster… Not bad right!

We like to say that once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else in life can stop you ;)

• Celebrate yourself

This is probably the first reason that pushes most of our clients to do or redo a boudoir shoot.

We all need to celebrate our awesome-selves. Every little or big victories, body transformations (new hairstyle, tattoos,…), and even birthdays. Basically anything that makes us happy in our everyday life.

Be your own cheerleader and treat yourself with unique experiences!

• Push the boundaries regarding your masculinity and femininity

Yes you read that right! Every single human being has both a feminine and masculine side. Not a lot of men dare to tap into their femininity but your feminine side is a huge asset in your life. It keeps you grounded and helps you simply enjoy what is around you. You become more aware of what all of your senses are picking up, which helps you develop new perspectives and your creativity.

• Bring down the pressure around men.

The pressure around men is quite insane: “Don’t cry! Be strong! Suck it up! Don't be girly!…” If you guys dare to show a bit of sensitivity, you are right away put in the “weak” category.

You have the right to be whatever and whoever you want. But in order to change mentalities, like women, you have to stand up and fight! You have to be willing to tap and show your sensitivity, to make it normal.

By allowing yourself to be more vulnerable and not being afraid to show emotions (rather than always trying to be strong all the time), you will slowly but surely remove some clichés attributed to men.

You won't be only be doing yourself a favour, you will do one for your fellas too.

• A gift for your partner

Even if a boudoir shoot should always be done for yourself first, using it as a gift for your partner is always a cool extra bonus, and a great way to spice your relationship up. I mean who wouldn't be amazingly surprised to see sexy pictures of their lover, fiancé, or spouse?!

Now that you read all the reasons for doing a dudeoir shoot, what are you waiting for to book your shoot 😉 You can find here the details about our sessions for men!

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The importance of having a feminine circle

Have you ever felt completely like you are living your life on auto-pilot, in your routine and juggling various responsibilities? Then, a little mind lightbulb goes off to remind you that hey, it's been a while since you have done something for yourself, outside of your regular circle?

This makes it very easy to forget about our sensuality and femininity, leaving us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. This is when having a circle of like-minded women can help us stay grounded, connected and more importantly: supported. I need it, you need it, everybody needs it and here is why.

A space for self-expression and exploration

Saying that societal pressures has zero influence of us conforming to certain standards of femininity and beauty would be a total lie.

Saying that this never leaves us feeling like garbage would be an even bigger lie.

Stepping out of these leads to a better appreciation of ourselves on many levels but -god damn- it is hard and takes time. But it can be sped up with the right tools. Having the right feminine circle can provide a safe space for us to express ourselves authentically and explore our sensuality without judgment. It's a powerful bubble of fresh air that helps us embrace ourselves the way we deserve and celebrate our femininity. Who wouldn't want that?!

A source of empowerment and inspiration

Imagine having a bunch of hype women in your corner, ready to cheer you on on anything you wish to achieve. Imagine being a hype woman for somebody else who needs it. All the good vibes!

When we surround ourselves with strong, confident, and empowered women, we can't help but be inspired to be the best versions of ourselves. A solid feminine circle provides us with role models, mentors, and friends who motivate us to pursue our passions, take risks, and make our dreams a reality. Additionally, when we see other women succeeding and thriving, it reminds us that we, too, are capable of achieving wonderful things.

A support system to navigate through life

Life can be unpredictable, and it is natural to feel overwhelmed and alone at times.

Whether it's a breakup, a job loss, or a health scare, having a group of supportive women who understand and empathize brings a whole lot of comfort during life's challenges. When we share our struggles with others, not only do we feel less alone, but we also gain new perspectives and insights that can help us overcome our challenges. Let's prioritize building and nurturing our feminine circles, and watch as our lives transform for the better.

Do you want your circle? Join the Scandaleuse Sorority!

If what you read spoke to you and you are located in the GTA, we have great news for you! We are launching the Scandaleuse Sorority, a free space for women and femme-presenting people to make meaningful connections through events and workshops, boost your confidence and reconnect with your sensuality!

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The Revenge Boudoir: reclaiming your body and worth after a break-up

As boudoir photographers, people have come to us with very different reasons for wanting to do a boudoir shoot. While many people may think the main reasons would be to do it for a partner, this is probably the last reason we get, quite the opposite. Lately, we've noticed a particular increase of what we can call the “f… you” boudoir: when you feel lost, hurt and even angry after a relationship ending and you need an outlet.

And we are here for it!

Why the hell not?

Break-ups can be tough and devastating, especially when you have invested your time, energy, and trust into a relationship. It can leave you with a shattered confidence, feeling completely disconnected from yourself, and struggling with your body and looks.

Now, you could wallow in self-pity, hurt yourself even more or seek revenge in unhealthy ways. Or… you could channel this energy and put it towards building yourself back up and bring some self-love back. A boudoir shoot, if done the right way, is absolutely going to be a trusty ally in this process.

A boudoir shoot will help you see yourself in a new light and appreciate your beauty and strength, from your own eyes first instead of somebody else's.

You know, those feelings that are an absolute must when you need to heal from parting ways with somebody and become your own friend again.

Reclaim your power, bring sexy back and trust yourself again.

Usually, after a break-up, you get on an emotional roller-coaster, stuck in analyzing everything that went wrong, and severely doubting yourself in the process. In the worst cases, you are left feeling completely unworthy and feeling as sexy as a broomstick.

Again, you could let yourself fall into this and feel like nobody will love you and let yourself believe you are indeed, as sexy as a broomstick, OR, you can decide that, hell no, you definitely don't deserve to feel this way (really, you don't.)

A boudoir shoot is a wonderful way to take control of your body, your image, and your narrative. It makes you ask yourself what makes YOU feel sexy and beautiful, no matter what it is, instead on focusing on what is a turn-on for your partner. It may be buried somewhere deep, but it is there, you just have to let it shine a little. With the right professionals (like us ;)), we will help you dig it out and be the hype women you need to express it all loud and proud.

The actual revenge feeling: showing what they are missing.

Okay, okay, this one shouldn't be the best motivation, and you should not base your self-worth on your ex's reaction, but let's be honest, we are human and it can be quite satisfying to get some powerful and badass photos of yourself and just imagine what your former partner is missing out on.

The photos of a boudoir shoot - should you choose to share them - can definitely send a pretty strong message that you are moving on and that you cannot be hold back or controlled. You are showing that you are not defined by anybody else's opinion or actions, and that you have the power to celebrate and showcase your beauty and sensuality on your own terms.

This can be a powerful way to regain your self-worth and remind yourself that you are not to be mistreated.

At the end of the day, the main reason to do a boudoir shoot is to regain confidence. It doesn't matter if it is anger or sadness that brought you in front of our lens. What matters is that you made it and you chose to put yourself first and use a powerful tool to, simply, start healing. Everybody deserves to feel sensual and beautiful. A boudoir shoot with help you celebrate your beauty and move on from a negative experience with grace and self-assurance.

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Stop avoiding your reflection

Have you ever taken the time to stop in front of a mirror and just look at yourself without any judgment? We are not talking about looking at yourself while you do your makeup or to check if you have a piece of lettuce stuck between your teeth. But really looking at your reflection for a certain amount of time with kindness , love, and gratitude, for that fucking strong being you are while dealing with the pain life can put on your path.

Probably not right! Well it is quite normal as we have been conditioned from a very young age to not like our body and avoid our own reflection. We have been told by the media and loved ones to:

• not take too much room and stay quiet, otherwise you are asking for attention;

• not show too much confidence because it will mean you think you are better than everyone else;

• not compliment our own body or look, so people don’t think you are narcissistic.

On top of that past traumas destroy our sel-estime and create body dysmorphia, which makes it even harder to not ditch our reflection every time we pass in front of a mirror. But when you do take those minutes to look at yourself in the eyes and look at your beautiful body, magical things happens.

Let us tell you a little story:

Mirrors are not your ennemies

We had a boudoir shoot last year with one of our Scandal, Sarah, that we met a few years ago (if it is your first time here, we use the word “Scandal” for our clients or people within our community 😎). She was first part of a very creative shoot of the theme of fire, but then shot with us again for a regular boudoir shoot.

It was really nice during that boudoir shoot to create photographs around her personality and style compared to the first “fire shoot” which was designed to follow our ideas.

During that last session, we asked Sarah to pose in front of a mirror and look at herself and her body for a few minutes. There was a lot of emotions in her eyes and she later shared with us that shot was important and a huge moment for her":

“I had to look at my own reflection for an extended period of time, most of us don’t do that! I was able, considering I had so many body image issues because of my experiences, to look at my own reflection and feel positive, beautiful, strong, powerful, and confident, the entire time. And that has never happened to me before!”

This healing impact boudoir photography have on people is one of the reasons why we love doing it. And we cannot be more grateful to work with people who trust us enough to share their vulnerability with us 💛

Let’s give it a try, shall we?

We cannot write about something for you to try, especially for an exercise that can be hard to do if you don’t feel comfortable with your body, without trying it ourselves first. Personally I, Fanny, haven’t done this exercise in a long time so it will be interesting to see how it makes me feel. Both Juliette and I will share with you our honest thoughts!

But first here is the idea:

• do this exercise when you are alone at home, you need peace and quiet;

• you can do it fully naked or fully clothed, or an in-between, it does not really matter;

• now look at your body with love and compassion, remember it has been carrying you since you were born and allows you to be alive.

• Once you are done with the previous step, look at yourself in the eyes and put a hand on your heart. Think of everything you have accomplished so far and be proud of yourself.

How does it make you feel?

If this sounds to woo-woo for you, feel free to adapt it to your liking. The goal of this exercise is to help you reconnect with your body but also your mind, and help you feel better when you are feeling down about yourself.

Disclaimer: the results will never be the same when you try it because your mood and mental impact a lot the way we see yourself. It also varies from one person to another.

Our experience

Fanny

Those past months have been really hard (and I know I am not the only one who feels that way). I have been feeling disconnected from my body for probably over a year now, lost touch with my sensuality, and keep feeling this inside void. So tonight I decided to try this exercise after my shower because this is the moment when I feel the most relax.

I looked deep in my eyes and focused on all my qualities, reminding to myself all the things I have accomplished and whispering kinda of a pep talk to increase my self-esteem. Then run my fingers on my face, neck, arms, and chest, not in a sexual way but only to feel that connection I need. While keeping a soft smile on my face.

I needed that kindness to erase all the negative thoughts I can have about myself and it felt really good.

Juliette

I never look at myself more than 30 seconds in a mirror because it is really easy for me to become very critical over my body, especially when I don’t have a mirror with proper lighting. Maybe I could work on it, but lately I have been feeling really good about the way I look and don’t wanna take the risk to fuck it up by looking too long at myself.

But this time I made the effort to stay in front of my mirror a tad longer and I felt grateful for what my body does for me, especially since I am 31 years old. I know it is not going to last since I am getting older (thinking how broken I will be when hitting 90 😅) ! I am also very proud as I never thought I would ever be able to have this type of body. I am referring to a muscular body not a body following traditional beauty standards.

After years of having body dysmorphia phases, those are the best reminders that help me to not focus on little details but what is actually important!

That is it for today, we hope this blog will bring extra sunshine to your life or help you reconnect with your beautiful-self if you need it.

If you decide to give it a try, let us know in the comments how you felt, and don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter below if it is not done already ⬇️

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Fake Authenticity, filters & Social media

When the body positivity movement started a few years ago, we all became aware of how the media had been fooling us. Stretch marks, cellulite, real bodies we could identify with started popping up everywhere online and it finally added a breath of fresh air in those unachievable beauty standards we had been served for decades.

Beautiful movement, beautiful initiative and beautiful intentions, 10/10. But like every movement, it's been used to sell, promote and quite frankly get some likes.

"Fake Authenticity”: calling out a problem while contributing to it.

For the past couple of years, we have been seeing some posts praising authenticity and wanting to be inspirational. While some are actually doing just that, many of them just feel like “fake authenticity”. I am referring to those posts, mostly from women, in which they show a quite strongly edited photo previously posted and then the real version, slapping the label "social media is fake".

Naturally, when I come across those posts, I can't help myself and I have to look at the rest of the timeline of those lovely ladies. And sometimes, they do walk the walk: their photos look unedited and real and it's awesome. But on most profiles, they aren't. That, to me, is attention-seeking at its finest: you're calling out a problem while contributing to it.

Well, what's the solution then?

This issue has been officially called out openly a million times. What we need to see now is not before/afters or to make loud noises about it how social media is indeed inaccurate. We need to see that the changes are actually being applied by making unedited photos normal. And it is our responsibility as much as the influencers and whatnot.

So, how do we do it? We ditch the filters.

Ok cool, but it's not that easy to stop those filters.

Filters and editing apps have become incredibly easy and realistic to use, so I don't blame you for falling into this rabbit hole. I did it myself in the old days, when I discovered Photoshop. Some filters are even sneaked in without you knowing: my phone for example has an automatic skin smoother setting that I didn't notice right away.

If you got used to seeing yourself using filters, it is going to suck for a little while to stop using them, but trust me, your self-esteem will bounce back.

• Ask yourself why you feel the need to use them to begin with.

Are you afraid of people judging you? Do you just feel like your appearance isn't good enough to be without a filter? Do you compare yourself to others and are trying to match them somehow? Identifying the key reason will help you see what you need to work on.

• Understand that the more you use filters, the more you'll feed your insecurities.

This one may be a given, but yes, the more you see yourself with perfect skin and whatnot, the harsher you will be on yourself looking in the mirror. It's a vicious cycle and you don't deserve to spend your life hating your reflection.

• Learn to use proper tools to take pretty photos without editing

Wanting flattering photos of yourself is perfectly normal. It's an excellent confidence-booster on many levels. But you don't need to rely on editing to get them. By learning basic tips about lighting and posing, you can already do wonders showing the real you and highlight your best features.

Pssst! We have a tool ready for you!

We actually created a whole online guide to teach you how to take beautiful photos of yourself with your phone. It's a great alternative to a professional photoshoot if you don't feel ready for one. You can experiment in the comfort of your own home, judgment and pressure free. Click here for more info!

• Follow people who don't use filters, for real.

We can say whatever we want about the toxicity of social media, but we are also responsible for what we allow ourselves to see. Replace the accounts that make you feel bad about yourself by others that inspire you instead. For example, Mik Zazon is a delight to follow. Ours is, of course, also a great option as all the bodies you'll see are not edited. On the french side of things Louise from Mybetterself is one of our favorites.

You got this, friends! Give yourself the gift of seeing the real you on a daily basis, because, you know what? You're pretty awesome.

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Why don't we provide lingerie for our boudoir shoots?

We often receive inquiries in which people ask us if we provide lingerie during our boudoir shoots. It is indeed pretty common for Canadian boudoir photographers to offer this service (definitively not common in France thought so we would be curious to know what photographers in other countries think about that). We are assuming people like the idea of having access to more “luxurious” lingerie sets so we understand why this type of service can be wanted, but it is not something we are doing nor plan to do in the future.

Our reasons are based on our branding and personal taste, we are absolutely not denigrating our fellow photographers for choosing to provide lingerie to their clients!

Before scrolling down, can you guess our 3 main reasons?

1. Body Diversity

   The most important reason is that if we were to provide lingerie during our shoots the logistic will be insane for us. Since we opened Scandaleuse 6 years ago, our clientele includes people of every shapes and sizes, so if we were to include lingerie in our sessions we would need to have a lingerie store in order to keep being body inclusive and give our clients plenty of choices.

   We think providing lingerie is a great option for photographers who photograph mostly the same type of bodies (such as professional models for example) or the ones who only want to offer a few pieces to their clients.

2. Choice Of Outfits

   Second reason is that, in our opinion it is important to not feel like you are wearing a disguise when you do a boudoir shoot. We always suggest to our Scandals (AKA our clients) to wear outfits that makes them feel like their most confident, sensual, sexy, badass, or whatever else - self they want to feel. We tell them to be creative and think outside the box when it comes to their boudoir outfits, especially if a traditional set of lingerie is not their thing.

   We do not want to take pictures of people wearing the same outfits. Providing the lingerie to our Scandals would be too restrictive which is the opposite of what Scandaleuse is about: allowing yourself to give the spotlight to all your personalities instead of making you fit into a mold!

3. Is It Really Hygienic?

   Even it is safe to assume all pieces are being washed after each clients when photographers provide lingerie during their shoots, we personally don’t find this practice is super hygienic. Maybe some people don’t mind it but personally I, Fanny, would not feel comfortable wearing thongs or panties multiple people wear before me (unless I washed them myself to make sure it is really clean).

   When you do a shoot, especially if it is your first time, you want to make sure you are as relax as you can, so if you spend half of the session worrying about the cleanliness of what you are wearing it could make you tense and ruin your boudoir shoot.

   If you choose to shoot with a studio that provide the lingerie for you, make sure to ask how they clean their lingerie and how often it has been worn.

Making our boudoir shoots as flexible and inclusive as we can has been our goal since day one and we are very proud of ourselves for keeping it this way!

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What "self-care" really is.

For the past couple of years or so, “self-care” has been popping up everywhere you look, at all times. It's around so much that it's become some sort of trend and we don't even know what it actually means anymore because everyone has different definitions. Since we are big advocates of what we call “true” self-care, this is our contribution.

If we really think about it, we have "care" in "self-care".
Let's have a look at its standard definition:

"The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something."

Meaning that self-care is You providing You the tools you need to function in a healthy, safe and grounded way. Physically, mentally, it pretty much applies to anything you deal with in your life.

Are we all good so far? Good.

Treating yourself is different than caring for yourself

Oh boy is it easy to mix them up. The biggest difference is as follows:

Treating yourself relies on instinct.

It is usually a quick & easy fix to feel good in a very specific moment and it fades fairly fast. Moreover, treating yourself is not always good for you. Like indulging into drinking that whole bottle of wine to yourself or eating that enormous bag of cheetos watching Gilmore Girls. Feels good in the moment, but afterwards, not so much.

Self-care requires more work but comes with long-term effects. You are simply setting yourself up for a better version of You. 

And to tell you the truth, self-care doesn't always feel good at first. It's like going to the gym for someone that never worked out before. At first, you hate it. It challenges you, makes you feel sore and out of your comfort zone. But stick to it for a while and only then you will get the benefits that leads to actual self-care. 

Self-care takes time because you need a while to build a habit that will result in a positive outcome for You. Again "care" = protected, maintained and healthy. And that doesn't come easy in a world where we are constantly stimulated and influenced in a zillion directions.

So to make it simple: treating yourself is a punctual feel-good relief VS self-care is a long-term process to set yourself up for a better You

The other thing that we have also noticed is that the words "self-care" have been thrown around so much in ads, online & prints, that it has now been used as an excuse. You don't feel like doing something? Slap the "self-care'' label on it and don't do it. We are all guilty of that. If you don't want to stick to your work-out routine, fine, but what about when other people are involved? 

Inconsideration is not too far from nowadays' "self-care" definition.

Let's say you are planning something for weeks. You're taking care of everything and invited a bunch of your friends you really want to spend time with, who RSVP-ed. I bet you that at least 2 people will not show up last minute because "they don't feel it anymore" or worse "something else came up" (= something else that it turns out they would rather do, we are obviously not talking about an emergency situation here.). Some may not even tell you and just not show up. Lovely. 

Prioritizing yourself in one thing. And we know you need to do it for your own sanity and well-being. But from the moment it removes accountability or reliability, it is not self-care, it's just you being a dick.

And guess what? You do need a good circle of real friends and family to grow, be inspired, to evolve in general.

Nurturing relationships and being respectful to others is part of self-care too. It is another way to set yourself up for a better future because you will be surrounded by love. Wow the virtuous cycle. 

Everyone's purpose is to feel in harmony with ourselves and self-care is the ultimate way to make it there. Is it an easy path? Nope. Is it worth it? Undoubtedly yes. For you because you will accomplish your dream goals, but also for others, because once you really get in touch with yourself, you also help your surroundings get there too. And that's how the world changes for the best. Now take care.

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