Sentences you should never hear during a boudoir shoot

We opened Scandaleuse Photography 6 years ago and let us tell you that we have read and heard some pretty disturbing things coming from other photographers in the boudoir industry. We remember a few years ago we read on a boudoir photography website that this company could “make you be desirable again” 🤢. We were shocked to see that some professionals still believe that a boudoir shoot’s purpose is only to please a partner and make sure this partner will find you desirable. Pardon our french, but what a load of BS.

Let’s clear this old school belief once and for all: a boudoir shoot should be done for yourself first! Of course it is always a cool idea to show the pictures to your partner, even gifting them the photographs, but we see this as an extra bonus.

Your boudoir shoot should be a safe space

Boudoir photography is such a liberating experience but not the easiest (especially if it is your first time) as posing half naked in front of a stranger is probably not something you do everyday. So from the message on the photographer’s website to their guidance during the day of the shoot, you should feel at ease and safe.

It is really easy for some photographers, especially if they are used to work with professional models, to forget that not everyone feel comfortable in front of a camera and not everyone have experience posing. So when they work with people who pose for the first time, they can easily misguide them or become impatient, and end up saying the wrong things while guiding their clients.

Here are 5 sentences you will never hear us say during a boudoir shoot:

• “This doesn’t look good on you!”

Because we like to photograph our clients in outfits that make them feel like their most beautiful and confident-selves, we do not provide any lingerie. We let them bring clothing and accessories they love and want to be photographed in. So if someone bring something we don’t necessarily like or we think it is not gonna look good, it is not our role to tell them if they should wear it or not (we are not the fashion police). As long as they feel good in it, that is all that matters.

And in case they decide to wear an outfit that fits them in a weird or non-flattering way, we will make sure to adjust it on their body, rather than saying something judgmental.

• “Just relax ok!”

Like we mentioned earlier, boudoir photography isn’t the easiest experience to try. A lot of people have a negative relationship with their body or feel very uncomfortable in front of a camera. So it is absolutely normal to feel nervous during the shoot! But if the photographer tells you that you should relax, well it is not gonna magically happen and it might stresses you out even more.

What we personally like to do when we see that our client is tensed and nervous is to:

- crack a joke;

- make a silly dance move;

- demonstrate the pose in a non-serious way; or

Any other technics we can use that make us look a bit ridiculous so our client smiles, laughs, and sees that there is no point to take yourself too seriously during a shoot.

• “You are not listening to the directions I give you!“

Talking about impatient photographers, this is something no one should ever tell you on a shoot (in any type of photography). Knowing to give clear posing directions to their models is the number one skill any photographer should have.

If during the shoot, you feel like it is hard to understand what the photographer is asking you to do, ask them to demonstrate the poses so you can have a visual. It is easier to copy the steps rather than trying to figure them out.

• “Smile!”

If you ever had your picture taken, as a kid or even now as an adult for example with headshots, you probably heard the photographer tell you “look at the camera and smile!”. If you are part of the lucky peeps who enjoy being in front of a camera then it is probably not a problem. But if you are like most of the people we know and the camera makes you uncomfortable, you probably find it cringey and you know it doesn’t work (or it reveals your most awkward smile). You end up looking at those pictures and tell yourself you are not photogenic… spoiler alert: everyone is photogenic, you just need the good guidance!

What we do during our shoot when we want to make you smile or give us a little smirk is, once again, we make a joke to make you smile and snap a few pictures. Or we tell you to give us your best fake laugh, we of course show you how to do it, which usually makes you smile (or laugh) as well 😄

• “Now be sexy!”

One of the goals of a boudoir shoot is to help you discover or re-discover your sexyness and sensuality. But if the photographer comes in front of you with their camera and tells you: “Ok, now be sexy!”, the chances are you will not know what to do and you will probably feel awkward.

It is really difficult to feel sexy on command, especially if doing a boudoir shoot puts you out of your comfort zone. Maybe you don’t even want to focus on your sexy side during your shoot and instead work on your confidence or something else. So you really don’t want the photographer to ask you to be sexy when they decide it is time for you to be.

Instead make sure to communicate what is the purpose of your shoot and the vibes you want to get from the pictures. Your photographer should be able to highlight whatever atmosphere you want to create with the poses, lighting, and any outfits and accessories you brought with you.

If you enjoyed today’s blog, you will love to know what are the most hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers 😂

Sign up for our weekly NEWSLETTER BELOW TO stay updated with our blogs, special offers, events, and other cool stuff! ⬇️

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Do you think you see your body the way it really is?

Before we begin, a little disclaimer: the following post is based on our own experiences & feelings. This does not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals.

Have you ever found yourself too fat or too thin out of the blue? Have you ever been deeply challenged by your reflection in the mirror? Have you ever felt oh-so-certain that you have body flaws despite hearing the opposite from loved ones?

If so, welcome to the world of body dysmorphia.

Body-dysmorphia, a big scary word we think never applies to us.

Body what now? The official definition of body-dysmorphia is as follow:

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others.

-NHS

Now, if you are like me, you hear “disorder” and you think “well that's not me, I'm not sick or whatever". The minute we slap medical terms on it, it becomes surreal and scary, but let us rephrase that definition:

Body-dysmorphia is when you don't see your body the way it actually is despite being convinced it is a certain way.

The most common example, and the one I personally deal with, is seeing yourself bigger than you actually are.

There are different levels of BDD. For some of us, myself included, we can still live our lives properly. For others, it becomes an obsession that can lead to eating disorders, social isolation and so on.

So, how does body-dysmorphia actually show?

BDD usually shows itself when we become teenagers. Our bodies change fairly quickly, plus, we are leaving our childhood where we pretty much didn't give a crap about our appearance and suddenly, it seems to define us.

Our brain is having a hard time processing this and we are left pointing out everything we think is wrong with us. Except for many of us, it doesn't stop there and we carry it until our adulthood.

Here are of the common ways BDD shows its ugly head:

• Checking yourself in the mirror, repeatedly, focusing on your “flaws”;

• Feeling certain that said flaws make you ugly or even deformed;

• Being convinced that you lost/put on weight based on no concrete proofs whatsoever;

• Trying to “fix” said flaws by over exercising, and often adjusting diet;

• Strongly believing that your flaws are only what other people see;

• Attempting to hide perceived flaws with styling, makeup or clothes;

• Constantly comparing your appearance with others;

• Frequently seeking reassurance about your appearance from others;

• Avoiding social gatherings;

• Feeling completely down for the whole day or more because of your appearance…

The list goes on and on. I don't know about you, but I can safely say that I have experienced over half this list.

What happens to me when the body-dysmorphia monster is knocking on my door and how I deal with it:

I am in my 30’s and I still involuntarily carry the BD monster in my back pocket. I don’t think it will ever go away. BUT, thanks to my experience and my work, I manage to considerably shorten its stays. My BD monster is weight related: I feel like I am bigger than usual especially around my waist.

Usually, it happens when I am off my eating and exercising routine for a week. If I didn’t prioritize my workouts sessions, and ate like crap, I can guarantee you that I am going to think I put on weight and it is going to make me feel guilty and shitty.

My remedy? Giving myself a severe reality check.

Sometimes, you need to give your head a shake.

1) I gather objective facts about why I would be feeling this way.

Like I said, it could be because I didn’t stick to my routine but it can also be because I am about to start my period and I feel bloated or I haven’t slept well for a while and/or I’m stressed. This really helps to remind myself that the vision I have of my body is very likely inaccurate because my mind doesn’t have the good fuel I usually give it.

2) I remind myself that it is physically impossible to have drastic body change in one week.

You’re not going to put on or lose 10 pounds in a week. Biologically, weight changes take a lot longer to show. Your body is smart and if you take a negative turn on your eating habits, it won’t show for a little while.

3) I remind myself that my body is doing its thing during the day and that it is normal if it looks different.

This one is for those who, like me, wish for a constant flat stomach. It’s a myth. Our bodies digest, they bloat, they eliminate. I’m actually pretty damn lucky it does all of that for me. Side note: our lower abdomen as a little cushion because it is protecting our uterus. When you see it like this, typing “how to lose lower belly fat” on Google makes a lot less sense.

4) I remind myself that I have felt this way in the past and have been very wrong.

The first time I realized I had a BD monster was when I looked at photos of my teenaged years, when I felt incredibly fat and I obviously wasn’t. It is usually enough to tell myself that there is a good chance I could be doing the exact same thing right now.

5) I let go of the guilt

Scheduling more workouts and diet change is very common for me as an attempt to “right my wrongs”. When I catch myself doing this, I sit my ass down and remember that, hey, I don’t work out to lose weight, I work out because it makes me feel good. And yeah, maybe I went a bit overboard food wise, but I needed it at the time and it also came with good memories with my loved ones.

So fuck it.
Yes, F U C K I T.
I did nothing wrong, there is nothing to fix, all I need to go back to what feels good and I will. and so will you.

I truly hope that reading this will help you feel less alone and give you some tools to kick your Body-Dysmorphia monster in the balls. We have written additional tips here, in case you need some. .

Here are some helpful books if you are looking to do some digging and heal yourself: The Broken Mirror by Katharine Phillips & Shattered Image by Brian Cuban.

If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask for help and find a therapist to guide you through it all. You don’t have to do this alone

Looking to surround yourself with positive vibes, confidence & body-love?

Join our newsletter below to get your weekly dose! ⬇️

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Censorship, Shadow banning: how social media sabotages our small business

Picture this: it is 2017, in the Toronto Reference Library. Two younger and eager Juliette & Fanny are nervously giggling at the "PUBLISH” button on their website. Finally, Scandaleuse was about to be shared with the world after so many hours being built in their heads. One click later, the business was officially born, and the word needed to be spread out.

What do you do then? Well, you start building an online presence. That's what business people say to do. We had a beautiful portfolio, tons of ideas and were ready to rock the social media madness.

Until, not even a week in, our posts got deleted and our accounts got threatened to be removed from Instagram and Facebook. Try to spread the word about your small business when you can't even post what you do.

You may wonder: "wow, what did the share for this to happen? Porn? Someone eating a kitten?" AHA. Just barely revealing boudoir photos than the platforms decided were for "adult sexual solicitation” (!!!). And it has been like that ever since.

Example of said “adult sexual solicitation”….

Why do we care to begin with?

We are going to be very honest: our clients don't come from social media, or very rarely. We could probably get away with not having a social media presence at all. The reasons why we are working so hard on our Instagram is for 4 main goals:

• Build a kind and respectful community;

• Educate around sensuality, body love and removing its negative stigma and pressure;

• Inspire and empower people (especially women) to be who they want to be;

• Show real bodies in an ocean of heavily edited, unachievable BS.

When our posts aren't taken down, we do succeed. We have met wonderful people and created beautiful projects thanks to social media, the most recent being our Unstoppable Exhibit, which also became the last straw in our thought process of getting the hell out of social media, once and for all.

As you can imagine, we have gone through multiple phases with our online presence, some comical, some a lot less.

The social media phases yours truly went through:

1) The "F*** you, we will do what we want" phase

That's when the little rebels that we are decided to try to stick it to the Man! You don't want us to post nipples? We will talk about it even more. We became officially black listed and to this day, we can't even do paid ads anywhere even if we posted the photo of a baby alpaca. That lasted a couple of years, until we realized we were pretty powerless and the removal of our accounts was imminent.

2) The "Fine, we will play by the rules" phase.

We became good girls and adjusted our entire vision to make sure the censorship monster wasn't gonna smack us. Nipples were blurred out and all. But then, IG changed once again their policy and it wasn't just the photos themselves that needed to be super PG, but also the wording.

Writing things like “nudity” “boudoir” “sexy” and so on became automatically flagged. The posts weren't deleted, but they weren't shown to anybody. 👌 That's shadow banning, and as you can imagine, completely useless for anybody trying to build a social media presence.

3) The "pack your bags and go" phase.

We were dealing with our shadowban frustration, battling with the "what is even the point of busting our butts with well thought and genuine content if nobody can see it?!", but we were still kicking.

Until we started talking about our Unstoppable Exhibit.

See, this project was solely created to spread awareness about domestic violence and collect donations for 2 charities offering help and shelters to the victims. But guess what. The words "domestic violence" or "abuse" are flagged. The series of photos contains partial nudity. So the posts were barely shown and it 👏 pissed 👏 us 👏 off.

Having to censor ourselves about our artistic work is already annoying enough, but seeing it happen when we are sharing content that could literally save lives was the last straw.

Unfortunately it doesn’t stop there

It has been 6 years now that we launched our social media platforms and this censorship is still happening and unfortunately getting worse. Recently we noticed that now even Google is removing some of our business posts (once again for inappropriate content 😡) and there is nothing we can do beside changing the main picture over and over again until we find the “proper” one.

It might not seems like it but this BS is time consuming and a big factor of stress. 90% of our clients find us through Google so the idea of being censored there is very scary as it could impact our business negatively.

We constantly feel this Damocles sword above our heads.

So… what now?

We love what we do and work really hard to build our business and educate people on the over-sexualization of the female body. So we had to find an alternative:

We are spending less and less time and energy on those stupid social media platforms, and devoting much more to our newsletter. This is our own land, we can share whatever we want to without fearing to be removed. Not having to worry about this is giving us a new love for writing and sharing.

Every Saturday, we combine a mixture of the following in our "Scandaleuse Letter":

- educational resources;
- empowering tips & tricks;
- gorgeous photography;
- new projects; and,
- behind the scenes.

Our only hope? That you will join the 500 people that are already there.

All you have to do is fill out the form below. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

We can't wait to see you on the other side,

With love 💖,

- The slightly older but still eager Juliette & Fanny

5 ways to make your boudoir shoot more creative

When you search for boudoir photography on the internet (thank you Schitt’s Creek for this - if you know you know), you might not relate to what you see as most of the photographs look the same: gorgeous models, with the same thin body type, wearing classic lingerie, posing on beds with white sheets.

Don’t get us wrong there is nothing wrong with that per se, and if it is what you are looking for then it will be easy for you to find the perfect photographer for your shoot as this the most common way of shooting boudoir.

But if you are looking for something different, then it becomes tricky. Not everyone feel like their most amazing-self in lingerie, and not everyone wants to have pictures of themselves looking cute in a bed. We all like different things right, so when it comes to your boudoir shoot you don’t have to be traditional if it is not your style.

Today, we are sharing with you 5 ways to make your boudoir shoot more creative!

Outfits

This is probably the most important point of this blog! Clothes are a great tool to help us feel confident, sensual, badass, or whatever else we wanna feel when we choose what to wear for the day. It is the same for your boudoir shoot, the outfits you choose will determine what your pictures will look like.

When we work with new clients, we always explain that they shouldn’t feel like they are wearing a disguise during the session. If traditional lingerie is not their vibe because they feel better in a large t-shirt with high socks, then they should definitely bring it on set.

What we recommend to all of our clients is that they open their closet and choose every outfits that make them feel fabulous. Usually people bring a suitcase full of different options and here are some examples what we saw during our shoots:

• Sequin shorts and dresses

• Faux-fur coats, one was pink

• Tons of different bodysuits

• Handmade leather armours and capes

• Fringe jackets

• kimonos and see-through robes

• leather pants

• aviator and denim jumpsuits

• jersey and over-sized sweaters

• onesies and pyjamas

• men shirts

The list goes on… See, you can really have fun with your outfits and think outside the box!

Also you DO NOT have to stick to one theme for your session. If you feel like going from a cosy atmosphere to a femme fatale look, go for it :)

Props

Accessories are great to add something extra special to your shoot. It is an opportunity to show your personality on pictures and it give us the chance to create little scenarios so you don’t have to focus too much on the camera.

We are talking about those things that makes you YOU! What can you bring that reflects the personas you want to highlight during your boudoir shoot? Maybe you have a favourite coffee mug or a book. Maybe you have a hobby that takes your mind out of reality and you wanna use it for your pictures… Once again the possibilities are endless and find below examples of props we have seen so far:

• Guitars

• Books and magazines

• Alcool and food

• Katana swords and knives

• Deck of cards

• Whips and cuffs

• flower bouquets

But it can also be jewelry and body chains (we are still waiting for someone who wants a nude picture of themselves covered with jewelry!), shoes, and much more…

Location

The location of your shoot is also very important because it will act as the decors around you. What vibe do you feel the most attracted to: airy, neutral tons, plain colours? Warmth, bricks and beams, industrial? Are plants important to you? Do you see yourself more in a colourful environment?

If you have preferences, make sure the photographer you will choose can take pictures of you in a location you will love.

You can find here two blogs we wrote about our lofts so you can decide more easily:

• Pure, simple, & minimalist

• Warm, industrial, & cosy

Poses

Don’t worry, we will NOT tell you that in order to do a boudoir shoot you need to know how to pose (this is a common misbelief we are trying to kick away). Your photographer should be able to guide through each poses and make sure they look great for the body type you have and your level of flexibility (not everyone can do a backbend or bring their foot behind their head!).

But the poses are important to match the vibes you want to create during your boudoir shoot. Let’s say, for example, you want a set of pictures in which you can embrace your masculine side, in that case the poses you will choose will help doing so. Don’t hesitate to communicate with the photographer and explain what you have in mind.

Also don’t hesitate to mention any present or past injuries so the photographer doesn’t make you do poses that could be painful or uncomfortable for you.

Lighting

This one is just an extra little thing to know.

Light has the power to completely change the atmosphere and style of a picture. To keep it simple there are basically two main types of lighting: airy (full of light, bright) or moody (shadows, dark tones, contrast). This might sounds too technical for you and maybe you think it is the photographer’s job to deal with it (which is true obviously) but it can be an important information for your photographer to know: is there an atmosphere that attracts you the most?

If not, then you give your photographer more creative freedom. But if you feel like you want your shoot to go in one direction or the other, it will impact your photographer’s way of working and the location of your shoot.

If you are not sure about what you want or what is possible with the photographer you are thinking of hiring, we suggest to create a mood board or gather pictures you find online to illustrate what you like and have example to show to the photographer. They should be able to guide you from there!

If there are two things to remember about your upcoming boudoir shoot is that it has to look like yourself and it should be fun!

If you like what you read and want to stay in touch, make sure to join our weekly newsletter below!

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Sometimes it just starts with armpit hair!

No Valentine’s day topic this weekend! You have probably unwilling been consuming enough of this content those past weeks. Instead let’s talk about your body hair!

Well, to tell you the truth this blog isn’t just about letting your hair grow or not. It is about allowing yourself to be YOU, the way YOU want it (yes I am emphasizing “you” just so it sticks to your mind 😘). And if it involves having hairy armpits, good! If not, good as well!

Hair, no hair; does it really matter?

A few years ago, Marion Seclin (a french influencer we really like), was talking about the fact she did a photoshoot with a brand who edited her hair out on Photoshop, without notifying her. She said she took the decision 4 years ago to let her hair grow naturally and she was very angry about the studio’s behaviour:

The decisions concerning YOUR body belongs to YOU and you ONLY.

By photoshoping her hair out, without her CONSENT, that brand violated her right to be the individual SHE DESIRES TO BE. They disrespected her life's choices. And for what? Because they felt like she didn’t match their standards. Standards usually imposed by the media and the fashion industry.

If you choose to wax every 3 weeks or not, it should be because it makes you feel great and not because you feel like you HAVE to do it.

Nobody should tell you what is the best for you. Your body and lifestyle decisions must be made based on your opinion. not others.

If people are telling you the opposite, don’t listen to them. This could also be a good sign to start clearing out some of your relationships to make room for better ones.

Story time: We had a wonderful photo shoot with Léa Castor in Paris. She stopped removing her hair a couple of years ago, because she realized that she wasn't really doing it for her, but for her lover at the time. She said that she wanted to start loving her hair the way it actually is, but it was hard. Not because she thinks it looks ugly but because of society: she felt like people will judge and criticize her.

When we first talked about her session, we really wanted to showcase and do close-ups of her hair to tell the world "hey see, it's not bad at all!" but it turns out that we just focused on her as a person like we always do.

not making her body hair the main focus was our way to normalizing her natural beauty.

Building your life despite expectations: damn that's hard.

But damn, it is worth it. Being able to live your life the way you want to is the best feeling in the world: you feel in harmony with your values, you become proud of yourself, it is pretty much the road to your long-term happiness!

However, from the minute you will start making decisions to be fully yourself, you are going to have to deal with… drum rolls… others. And people LOVE to share their opinion about your lifestyle even if you did not ask for it 🙄.

Friends, family, strangers! Doesn’t matter who they are, you will have to face complains, disappointments, frustrations, or even anger, coming from people who will not accept your life’s choices. And this can makes the whole process of building your own identity very challenging. But don’t give up!

any criticism about your journey is actually not about you. They will simply project their own insecurities and fears on you.

Through your achievements, they will see their own failures and will try to bring you down instead of supporting your decisions. Jealousy is ugly!

Sometimes it just starts with armpit hair!

See, you don’t need much to start living your life the way you want. You can start with something as simple as letting your body hair grow or starting a new hobby that people might find too scandalous. It will be scary at first but once you realize that what people think of you doesn’t not matter, you will take on bigger steps that will feel less and less scary ❤️

We would love to hear about one thing you changed in your life that was hard but worth it. Share in the comments!

Also don’t forget to sign up for our weekly newsletter below if you like our blogs ⬇️

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Why the French cliches make boudoir “à la française” super badass

A few months ago, we had a little realization: our boudoir style is very French. Naturally, since we are both from France to begin with, this was completely unconscious until we noticed we were saying quite often: “you look very French" to our lovely clients.

It got us thinking: besides our nationality, why do we gravitate towards this specific style and more importantly, why do we want you to try it so bad? Allow us to share our personal opinions on the matter…

A naked body is… just a naked body.

Don't get us wrong, we also deal with many unachievable beauty standards and body shaming. But the perception of nudity is different.

Since the beginning of time, nudity in France hasn't always been associated with sexuality, like it tends to be in North America. From the various art mouvements picturing a lot of nudity (looking at you, Renaissance!), to seeing our own mothers sunbathing topless on the beach, we just didn't ask ourselves if it was okay or not: it just was.

In our opinion, having this mentality definitely contributed to…

The "no f*cks given” attitude.

It is pretty known that the French have an unapologetic attitude. We consider it very accurate and this translate nicely in boudoir, as it becomes the perfect opportunity to make a statement and create a paradox: for example, we tend to have photos looking straight at the camera, doing nonchalant poses like you have not a care in the world while being in a vulnerable context, wearing outfits that would be frown upon in many ways. This rebelliousness is something we want to get you to try during a session, because it feels so damn good.

For a moment, you are breaking the codes in a world we are constantly told to follow them.

It's easier to conceptualize doing something for yourself.

French people are known to be individualistic, and once again, we tend to agree. Of course, it can come with a negative side such as selfishness, but on the other end, it is more normal doing something for yourself because you want to. Many women we work with in Canada haven't taken that chance to create some quality time with themselves in years. Many of them think they don't even deserve it. Giving them the chance to do it through our work is one of our favourite reasons why we shoot boudoir.

It is also why we say every single day that a boudoir shoot is for yourself first and not a partner. And to let you in on a little confidence: the rare times we get an inquiry that states that the shoot is solely for a boyfriend or husband, they fall through!

The French Fashion

The french fashion is not afraid to play with the codes and this is another very strong asset that bleeds into boudoir very easily. Why? Because it makes you stay away from the traditional boudoir outfits. Funny enough, lingerie is French to begin with, but yet, the French are so versatile in style that lingerie is not the main outfit during our sessions.

Playing with feminine and masculine outfits is also extremely common, which makes it even more interesting for artists: there are no limits.

There you have it: french clichés definitely work in our favor for boudoir and we should all take advantage of that.

Use them to feel strong, powerful, beautiful. To let go, to play, even if it is just for a moment. You will see how liberating that can be and you will ask for more. Oh and of course: free the nipple 😉.

If you like what you read and want to stay in touch, make sure to join our weekly newsletter below! Bisous!

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

What does "empowerment" even mean?

Haaa “Empowerment”. THE buzzword we've seen everywhere for the past few years. “Women empowering women”, “empower yourself” , “get empowered”… It is such a pretty word with such a badass connotation. Yet, many of us aren’t even sure of what it actually means. Let's dive in, shall we?

First of, let's get the actual definition:

“Empowerment is the authority or power given to someone to do something."
- Oxford Dictionary

That something being positive for yourself and others. Whether it is a new dream, a new goal, a new creation of some sort…

But wait, does this means that to get empowered, it has to come from somewhere else other than yourself? Theoratically, yes.

First, well, that's why we are here. 😉
Second, yes, you can be empowered by someone else, and yourself can empower someone.

While, technically, you don't need permission, validation, or encouragement to do anything for yourself, many of us feel that need. This is very often labelled as negative. And it could be, if everything you want to do depends on it.

But if not, so what if you need an extra boost from a loved one to make a jump towards something you’ve been wanting to do?

We all need outside support and it would be a shame to deny ourselves this option. If you have someone who has your best interest at heart, willing to empower you, at least, give it a listen. As we talked about in our post about the important of the female collective, we can only go so far alone. Especially considering how great empowerment feels.

How does it feel to be empowered?

To sum it up, it feels like you've received a huge boost of confidence and that you can move mountains likes they're grains of salt.

You feel like yourself, ready to tackle the world, bring your dreams to reality and you usually take more people along with you.

It is a beautiful feeling and you must have felt it one way or another at least once. Maybe when you achieved a goal you didn't think you could, or maybe when you caught your reflection in the mirror and went “damn, I look good!”. Take a moment to think about the last time you felt it, even if it was just a little spark.

💡 When was the last time you felt empowered?

Now, how do you get more of this? Does that mean you need to harass your loved ones so they can turn the switch on?

Well, good news, you don't have to!

Can I empower myself?

Absolutely. Self-empowerment is actually a must in order to build yourself and live your life the way you want. You can take charge of your own path and develop that rock solid confidence.

Your self-empowerment starter pack:

1) Remind yourself you know what is best for you.

At the end of the day, you are the person you spent the most time with and you know yourself better than anyone. If you are going through a moment of self-doubt and are getting lost in outside noise, take a breather and ask yourself what it is that you really want.

2) Learn to read between the lines of judgement.

Judgement is the worst obstacle to change. If we dare to share an idea with someone and that person go against it more or less subtlely, there is a good chance we would back out of it. Before you do, ask yourself if it is actually about you, or if that person is projecting their own insecurity on you. (Spoiler alert, in 99.9% of the time, that is what's going on when someone is judging you.)

3) Find your support system

You don't have a supportive family, friends or partners? Good news, there are other circles that can provide the support you need on many levels. (Ahem, again, us being one of them). Quick reminder while we are at it, just because some people are family doesn't mean they can't be toxic. Just leaving that here.

4) Empower someone else

This is the nicest snowball effect: when you do the empowering for someone, you will receive some back and/or will get inspired to take actions yourself. Really, try it.

5) Give yourself permission.

Create little moments for yourself when you let your mind go wild. No expectations, no money or skill issues, nobody stopping you. Think outside the box, day dream, meditate, journal, see what comes out. You could be surprised by how reachable some of those ideas can be.

There you have it. Now you can honestly say what empowerment is when you mention it and you know how to start digging to get your dose!

Need some help? We send weekly newsletter filled with nuggets to boost your confident and… empower YOU, yay! Sign up below! ⬇️

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Throwback to: the Unstoppable Exhibit

Back in March earlier this year, we hosted our first ever opening night for an art project close to our hearts: the Unstoppable Exhibit.

This idea turned into so much more thanks to the many people we met along the way. Before we knew it, what was supposed to be a simple group photoshoot filled with “badassery” became a fundraiser against domestic violence, supporting 2 beautiful charities.

Now, a few months later, it is finally time for us to look back at this wonderful night and tell you everything.

Before the big day
(also known as how we were blown away by people's support.)

We already shared with you how we even came to build this project here. Now, we were a few days away from our big opening night and it was time to roll up our sleeves to prep an event we had never planned before.

It was really important for us to offer an art show à la Française. Not only did the show need to look clean and professional, but we wanted people to dress up, be able to have wine (in real wine glasses!), food and mingle.

The first step that made our hearts sing was getting the prints. When we picked up all the prints from Fotobox, we finally felt like everything we were doing was for real.

The second step was getting an official sticker, like in museum. You can't imagine the feeling of accomplishment a simple sticker on the wall can do. Saman Design took care of this for us, purely out of kindness.

Of course, the set up wasn't without any troubles. Some of the walls were concrete and the only way to hang anything from them was to drill. We can do many things, but drilling concrete is not one of them! Another kind soul named Cormack drove out of his way to make this happen for us.

After a solid 10 hours, a lot of nails and swearing, everything was set up and ready to go for the next day.

The big night
(also knows as : when reality exceeds expectations)

We were both pretty relaxed having set up the day before. Paradise Grapevine and Downtown Winery had generously donated wine, the food had been ordered, glasses were delivered. We expected to just set up the last minute things, relax and partake in the festivities with everybody else.

We told ourselves : if we have 30 people and manage to raise a $1000, we will consider it a big win. We're such a tiny business, absolute beginners in planning art shows, this is already quite the accomplishment.

We sold out at 55 tickets and raised over $3000.

Now, you may think 55 people isn't a big deal. For this space, it is. We were absolutely packed. People showed up right when the doors opened and ended up lining up at the door trying to get last minute tickets.

Meanwhile: we were in way over our heads

We are not going to lie to you, this entire evening is a blur and taught us many lessons such as: we should have thought more about the actual evening. We worked so hard on the before that we kind of forgot to see what work will need to be done during the opening night.

For example: we should have had staff. We ended up having to wash wines glasses, serve said wine, take care of print sales, and walk people through the exhibit. Luckily, a few friends saw our struggles and jumped in, but we wish we had spent more time talking to everybody the way we wanted to.

To our surprise, we also sold most of the prints for the evening. It was absolutely incredible for us as it was a testament that we went from an entrepreneur position back to artists.

This experience is our proudest achievement in our careers so far. We have many ideas brewing at the moment, and we know for a fact that we will be doing it again.

Since videos speak louder than words, you can see below a short clip of the entire evening.

You will also see that we had wonderful performers who donated their talent during the evening. Avah Coco is an amazing singer and Petra Queen of the Nile is a kick-ass burlesque dancer. Thank you both for honouring us with your talents.

If you'd like to stay in the loop for our next adventure, join our weekly newsletter below!

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Everyone is sensual

Sensuality… a big scary word. If you ask people how they would define sensuality, we can bet that most likely they will tell you it is somehow related to sexuality, and they would not be 100% wrong. It is very true that sexuality is a little part of it, but there is so much more to sensuality than sex only.

We already wrote a blog about sensuality so if you need a good reminder or if you want to learn more about it, we invite you to read it here. In today’s blog we will talk more about the shame and fear people can feel with the idea of being sensual.

Understanding sensuality

A lot of people are having a hard time to let go to become the best version of themselves. Especially women. We are told from a very young age to not make too much noise, nor take too much space. We grew up hearing how slutty some clothing make us look and that we should always act in proper manners in order to be desired. When we spend so many years listening to people telling us how we should behave and what clothes we should wear, the idea of accepting ourselves as sensual beings can feel confusing and scary.

It is hard to reprogram our way of thinking, but believe us when we say everyone is sensual, it is just a matter of finding what this word means to you and how you want to incorporate it in your life.

It is also important to understand that those negative feeling you might have are only coming from the media or the environment you grew up in. Sensuality is still stigmatized because it is confused with sexuality (sex being a taboo topic 😒). As mentioned above, those two terms can be related but in a general way sensuality is the ability to be connected to all your senses and experience life in a more energetic way.

You can find sensuality in watching a beautiful sunset, eating a tasteful dish, moving your body freely to the rhythm of music, listening to your favourite music, smelling flowers, being naked in the softest clothes you own, feel the sun on your skin… But you can of course also experience those senses in the arms of your lover.

Sensuality is not just about sexual pleasure, it’s about the positive feelings and the level of happiness those moments are bringing into your life.

The first steps to take

If it is hard for you to feel sensual or you are telling yourself that you are absolutely not sensual, our first advice for you is to give more love to your body. Since sensuality is related to our senses, you cannot expect to experience it while having a bad relationship with your body.

Your body is not your enemy! Give it the same love and care you will give to your best friend. Learn to accept it fully, even the parts about yourself you don’t like. Here is what you can do when you have a moment to yourself alone:

• Enjoy being nude

  Being naked is one of the best feeling in the world and it is so empowering. You can start just by spending time in your apartment topless wearing just your panties (read, watch a movie, water your plants, whatever task you fee like doing in the moment). Then once you are familiar with being topless, try again fully nude. It will feel weird at first but the more you practice the more you will enjoy it. It is also a great exercise to see your body nude in another scenario than showering or having sex.

• Give your body compliments

  Once again even for the parts you don’t like about yourself. Strip down and go in front of a mirror (full body mirror if you have one). Look deeply at yourself and with kind eyes, and give yourself compliments. Yes it is a hard exercise and yes you might feel silly about doing it but trust us it will help a lot. Plus no one will never know so you have nothing to lose doing it.

• Reconnect with your beautiful body

  Don’t be afraid to touch your skin, your curves, but not in a sexual way. Just to feel your own hands on yourself, activate your sense of touch, and feel the gentle sparks it is creating.

Changing the way we see ourselves starts with wanting to change and be willing to make those changes. We are not saying it is easy but it is mental. We have been conditioned to hate our body and think we need to “fix” it by the beauty industry so they could sell us products and services we don’t need. You are born with the body you have, and if that body doesn’t look like what you see on tv or in magazines, it does not mean your body is not beautiful or that you are not desirable.

Accepting your natural beauty and learning to love yourself will add so much power and freedom in your life.

Practice those exercises daily and it will get easier. Once you start to feel more at ease with the way you look and experience new things in life that will activate all of your senses, sensuality will become part of who your are.

In our opinion sensuality is very important as it is a great tool to increase confidence and self-esteem. It also make you radiate positive energies and makes you glow ❤️

Hope you enjoyed today’s blog! Don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter if you haven’t done it yet ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

Why boudoir photos are a great Christmas gift

Don't get us wrong, a boudoir shoot should definitely be done for yourself before anything. It's your chance to get quality "me-time”, try something new, and more importantly: reconnect with your body the way you want. But, if you feel like it, sharing your boudoir images with your special someone is a beautiful, genuine gift that's hard to top!

You're showing a version of yourself your partner might not know.

God knows this is hard, especially when you've been with someone for a long time and have built a life together. Many of our clients have shared with us that their partner did not expect them to ever do a boudoir shoot and how much of a "wow”factor it was when they told them. It was even more special to them, like they were let in on a little sexy secret.

Or... you're showing them the "You" they haven't seen in a while.

While it is hard to find new things about each other, it is even harder to step away from your role within your family. The care-taker, the parent, you-name-it… When a routine is established, we don't get many chances to let our sexy selves shine. That's everything boudoir is about: stepping out of your daily tasks and bringing some spice back!

It's not a "boring” gift.

Getting socks and underwear is useful, but we bet your partner would take risqué photos of yourself instead in a heartbeat! Sharing boudoir photos is so meaningful because it is exclusive, vulnerable and genuine. Chances are nobody else but you two will see them, and that makes it extra special.

It's also a gift for yourself (eheh)

Talk about the ultimate win-win situation: you get to experience an empowering, liberating moment and get a confidence boost in the process, and your partner gets a reminder of how beautiful their special someone is. And it doesn't stop there! Boudoir has many wonderful long-lasting effects that will without a doubt affect your happiness on the positive.

As you can tell, if you are looking for a great way to impress your partner and share something truly meaningful with them, look no further: your boudoir photos will do the trick.

And what a good timing that is when we've set up the perfect boudoir experience for the holidays with our Boudoir Under The Tree special!

Click on the button below to enjoy a discounted mini session and more.

You can also join our weekly love letter to get good vibes in your inbox every Saturday! ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

Finding sensuality in winter time

Winter is coming with its Christmas’ vibe… and we are very excited about it! In our opinion winter in Canada is magical (well at least when the snow is still white instead of being covered with pollution) ❄️.

The problem with winter here is that it last for a longgg timeee. So many months of cold and grey(ish) weather can easily affects us in a negative way and make us fall in a poor self-care never ending circle. Which, you can guess, is hard on the feeling of being sensual.

If you want to live your life in the most happiest way possible, it is really important to take good care of your body and mind. In order to do so, you have to put yourself as a priority. Otherwise you let all the stress from your everyday routine take control of your well being. This is when anxiety, fatigue, fear (and all that jazz) show the tip of their nose.

So why is sensuality so important?

It helps to feel in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition.

We know sensuality can be a scary word, as a lot of people think it is only related to sexuality. But it is not! Sensuality is the ability to feel in touch with all of our senses.

Here are 5 ways to feel sensual again in winter time:

Movement

We put this on top of our list because this is VERY important, not only for sensuality but also for your health. So write it down somewhere or take a mental note:

You have to incorporate movements in your routine!

Being “stuck inside", having to work from home and spending most of our days sitting on a chair or a sofa is really bad for our body. It makes our muscles week, creates tightness in our back and neck, and decreases our level of energy.

if you motivate yourself to move your body often during the day, your productivity and mood will skyrocket. And honestly it is an easy habit to create. For example:

• Do some yoga in the morning and gentle stretching during the day.

• Take a break from work and dance like nobody's watching.

  Or just move your body slowly and the way you want it, without making it pretty.

Moving your body will make you feel more connected to it and at peace with yourself.

Self-Care

Taking care of this body of yours is also primordial. We like to imaging our body is its own little person that needs attention, the same way you will give it to a loved one, a pet or a plant. It needs love and care in order to grow strong and beautiful. Here is how you can give it some lovin’:

• Put some make up on and do your hair if it makes you feel good.

• Make yourself a hot bath or get massage to relax.

• Take the time to moisturize every inches of your skin and feel the lotion deeply nourishing it.

Food

Yes, believe us when we say food as the power to develop your sensuality. There is a common saying french people like to say after a delicious meal:

“It was as good as an orgasm!”

It does not mean we had one while eating, but it means the feeling of peace and joy was the same an orgasm can give you. Quality food is all about flavours. Forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas that can increase your level of happiness and peace :)

• Learn to cook healthy and tasty meals.

• Go buy yourself some delicious french pastries.

• Order your favourite food and take the time to enjoy each flavours.

Sexuality

Even if sensuality is not only about sex, it is an important part of it. In this part we want to talk about self-sexuality and forget about potential partners for a minute.

You have to know your body by heart in order to feel fully at peace with it. You cannot be afraid to touch and look at it, and discover what parts of your body are the most sensitive.

They are so many ways to play with and learn about your body, and by yourself. You can start by lighting up some candles, listen to musics that help you relax or turn you on… it will put you in the mood. Once you have set up everything your way, you can try different things, such as:

• Breathing exercises and energy movements (this is a bit more spiritual) to help you reconnect with your body.

• Touch EVERY PARTS of your body, apply different types of pressure or speed. This will help you understand where and how you like to be touched.

• Be curious about toys (yes even if you have a partner, it can actually be a cool add on to your sex life). You can find a variety of toys: static or with vibrations; different sizes, shapes, colours and texture.

*Little side note: if you are looking to empower your sexuality, we highly suggest to check out Layla Martin work!

And of course boudoir!

Last but definitely not least on today’s list is boudoir photography. This is the perfect experience to discover and play with your sensuality during a time that is for you and you only! No need to wear a disguise for your shoot, you are the one choosing the vibes you want to create and will bring the outfits and props that make you feel your most sensual-self.

Of course there are so many other ways to embrace your sensuality, you just have to experience and be curious.

Now you know what to do, go make sensuality part of your everyday routine!

Did you sign up to our newsletter already? No, well today is your day! You can do it below and receive weekly tips and tricks on how to be your most amazing-self 😊

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

We made it on CTV!

Let us tell you a powerful story. A story full of dreams, love, and connections, that started 6 years ago when we opened Scandaleuse. Opening our business in a new country and in a new language was already a success for us, but wanted more.

We wanted to create a safe space for our clients to be their most magnificent-self, and also create meaningful and long-lasting connections between our Scandals and us. We were dreaming of being interviewed at the radio, on newspaper, and even one day making an appearance on national tv to really spread the word about all the great benefits from doing a boudoir shoot.

You can guess that those dreams don’t happened magically over night! We pushed ourselves out of our comfort zone so many times! Between going to tons of events and start conversations with strangers (if you are wondering how to network with someone without sounding too salesy, always start with an honest compliment on something they wear. This works every time 😉), making videos even though we felt so frustrated and uncomfortable talking in front of a camera, or all the new things we had to learn… We worked hard to meet people, create useful content, and build our brand! Not that we are done achieving everything on our list, but so far all of this hard worked payed off: we build a beautiful community and great reputation, we can pay ourselves a good salary, and we have the freedom to create.

We don’t just believe in ourselves

There is also something important to know about Juliette and I, we both are spiritual. We believe that everything happens for a reason and always try to manifest the things we want. Why are we mentioning that? Well, do you remember those interviews we mentioned previously? Every time we wrote down in our journals that we wanted to be interviewed, it happened!

The only one that was hard to manifest was the national TV appearance 😬. We were dreaming of it for a long time but it is possible that, deep down, we thought it was just a dream. Until it happens… We finally made it on TV 🎉

And you know, it is probably for the best it took 6 years to happen because even if it was a fabulous experience it was also nerve-wracking! The idea of speaking in another language live on national TV, made us feel really nervous. If there is something we learnt in our spiritual journey is that things don’t happen if you are not ready for them.

It was meant to be

During Covid we did a bunch of shoots in order to raise money to save one of our loft. This is when we met Aakriti (she did one of the shoots) who is a segment producer for the live show called The Social on CTV. She also posed for us last year for an exhibit we did against domestic abuse. She really loved those two boudoir experience that she decided to pitch the topic to the channel and they accepted! We are so grateful for her ❤️

On our side we were able to talk to her about Michelle Osbourne who is a body activist and a past client, as they wanted to have another speaker during the show. What a pleasure it was to share another amazing conversation with Michelle!

We were also very pleased to have Cai and Hallae with us during the shoot so they could have the opportunity to talk about their experience and how boudoir photography impacted their life!

Cherry on top of the cake, we did not know that one of our friend, Marny (that we met during a mastermind) would be the audience coordinator that day, and Jam Gamble (another past client) will be there as well.

Everything came in full circle!

What was it all about?

The concept was for the channel to follow us on a shoot to see the all process of a boudoir shoot, from the prepping of the client to the selection of the final photographs, with the shoot in between. And have some interviews from two past clients as well as Sarah who was our client for the day:

Then a few weeks later we were invited for one of The Social show’s segment to talk more about sensuality and empowerment for women:

You cannot see it in the video but we were all nervous when we sat down. Then we started to talk with the hosts and everything became so natural. The energy in the room was so positive, and the public was really receptive. It really helped us to feel at ease! We hope to be able to do it again in the future.

Doing some public speaking to give our opinion about sensuality and body empowerment is part of our mission. The more we can talk about how boudoir photography is an amazing way to reconnect with your body and how therapeutic it can be for a lot of people, the happiest we feel!

Sign up to our newsletter below to keep an eye on all the cool content we are creating!

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

I do whatever I want with my butt, thank you.

A few weeks ago, I received a comment on one of my pole-dancing Instagram stories with a very thoughtful question:

“Why are you doing this? The way you have to show your butt to everyone… What is the point? I just don’t get it.”

Did someone call Judgment to the table? Many of us have a hard time starting facing judgement, especially when we want to start something new.. It is very easy for people to share their 2 cents on how you should live your life. While there is nothing much you can do about their behaviour, you can choose to handle the situation to your advantage.

Detach, to not waste your time.

So here I was, in my underwear, upside down on the pole, practicing a move, minding my own business. Then this message popped up and I started to wonder:

• Why am I upside down on a pole?

• Why am I half naked in my apartment?

• Why do I share those online?

And so on until my mind was filled with enough random thoughts about my actions to the point that they made me question my entire being.

Hold on a minute here.

This simple message had me doubting myself and my choices? It made me think twice about sharing something that I actually love and that doesn’t hurt anyone?

Hell no.

I realized I had three options. I could:

- Let my anger out and tackled him with my words (tempting!);
- Spend my time starting a debate on how we live in a society where it is inappropriate for women to show their bodies but normal for men and how it is important to change mentality around that topic, or;
- Ignore his remark and keep my cool.

I went for the 3rd option.

Why? Because what this guy wanted was to criticize, not try to really understand and potentially change his way of thinking and beliefs. Getting into a debate to attempt to educate him was very tempting but I just knew it would have just left me feeling frustrated as hell. So I kept my cool, told him I would not go into details and wished him a good night.

Sometimes, You can absolutely have conversations with people, only if they come from a neutral and curious state of mind. If someone starts saying something with an undertone of judgement, you will not make them change their minds.

So don’t waste your time, and keep doing whatever makes you feel good, especially because…

It’s not about you anyway.

There will always be someone ready to negatively judge whatever you're doing. And the truth is: it has nothing to do with you.

Behind someone’s judgment is an insecurity of theirs shining through.

And they are projecting it on you. You poked at something that is uncomfortable to them. It reminds them of that one thing they wish they could work on but haven’t yet for whatever reason. Is it fair? Nope. Do we all do it? Yes.

Being aware of it gives you the chance to act differently in those situations. It makes it easier to let go of the negativity you are facing and even bring compassion to the table by asking this person what is really going on. (If you feel like it, of course. Again, pick your battles!)

No, detaching doesn’t make you selfish.

A lot of people, especially women, feel incredibly guilty not to listen when someone is giving them “advice” disguised in judgement. That's conditioning for you, the “be a good girl” kind of thing. If this is your case, here is a little reminder that can help: nobody knows your life better than yourself, therefore, the only person who can make decisions about it is… you. It doesn't mean you have to send everyone packing and that you don't care. But it means you don't have to accept everything coming your way.

It does not make you selfish or pretentious if you decide to not give a damn. You know you cannot please everyone.

You want to wear only blue clothes, go for it. You don't want kids, nothing wrong with that. You want to work in the sex industry, you do you my friend (no pun intended - or maybe a little!).

Don't let others dictate who you are just because they believe it is the only and right way to be. What you do with your butt, how you dress, the way you live your life and who you decide to be are your decisions to make.

If you like what you just read, sign up for our newsletter below to get more! They come once a week, filled with love, additional tips & tricks and other fun stuff!

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *