Finding sensuality in winter time

Winter is coming with its Christmas’ vibe… and we are very excited about it! In our opinion winter in Canada is magical (well at least when the snow is still white instead of being covered with pollution) ❄️.

The problem with winter here is that it last for a longgg timeee. So many months of cold and grey(ish) weather can easily affects us in a negative way and make us fall in a poor self-care never ending circle. Which, you can guess, is hard on the feeling of being sensual.

If you want to live your life in the most happiest way possible, it is really important to take good care of your body and mind. In order to do so, you have to put yourself as a priority. Otherwise you let all the stress from your everyday routine take control of your well being. This is when anxiety, fatigue, fear (and all that jazz) show the tip of their nose.

So why is sensuality so important?

It helps to feel in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition.

We know sensuality can be a scary word, as a lot of people think it is only related to sexuality. But it is not! Sensuality is the ability to feel in touch with all of our senses.

Here are 5 ways to feel sensual again in winter time:

Movement

We put this on top of our list because this is VERY important, not only for sensuality but also for your health. So write it down somewhere or take a mental note:

You have to incorporate movements in your routine!

Being “stuck inside", having to work from home and spending most of our days sitting on a chair or a sofa is really bad for our body. It makes our muscles week, creates tightness in our back and neck, and decreases our level of energy.

if you motivate yourself to move your body often during the day, your productivity and mood will skyrocket. And honestly it is an easy habit to create. For example:

• Do some yoga in the morning and gentle stretching during the day.

• Take a break from work and dance like nobody's watching.

  Or just move your body slowly and the way you want it, without making it pretty.

Moving your body will make you feel more connected to it and at peace with yourself.

Self-Care

Taking care of this body of yours is also primordial. We like to imaging our body is its own little person that needs attention, the same way you will give it to a loved one, a pet or a plant. It needs love and care in order to grow strong and beautiful. Here is how you can give it some lovin’:

• Put some make up on and do your hair if it makes you feel good.

• Make yourself a hot bath or get massage to relax.

• Take the time to moisturize every inches of your skin and feel the lotion deeply nourishing it.

Food

Yes, believe us when we say food as the power to develop your sensuality. There is a common saying french people like to say after a delicious meal:

“It was as good as an orgasm!”

It does not mean we had one while eating, but it means the feeling of peace and joy was the same an orgasm can give you. Quality food is all about flavours. Forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas that can increase your level of happiness and peace :)

• Learn to cook healthy and tasty meals.

• Go buy yourself some delicious french pastries.

• Order your favourite food and take the time to enjoy each flavours.

Sexuality

Even if sensuality is not only about sex, it is an important part of it. In this part we want to talk about self-sexuality and forget about potential partners for a minute.

You have to know your body by heart in order to feel fully at peace with it. You cannot be afraid to touch and look at it, and discover what parts of your body are the most sensitive.

They are so many ways to play with and learn about your body, and by yourself. You can start by lighting up some candles, listen to musics that help you relax or turn you on… it will put you in the mood. Once you have set up everything your way, you can try different things, such as:

• Breathing exercises and energy movements (this is a bit more spiritual) to help you reconnect with your body.

• Touch EVERY PARTS of your body, apply different types of pressure or speed. This will help you understand where and how you like to be touched.

• Be curious about toys (yes even if you have a partner, it can actually be a cool add on to your sex life). You can find a variety of toys: static or with vibrations; different sizes, shapes, colours and texture.

*Little side note: if you are looking to empower your sexuality, we highly suggest to check out Layla Martin work!

And of course boudoir!

Last but definitely not least on today’s list is boudoir photography. This is the perfect experience to discover and play with your sensuality during a time that is for you and you only! No need to wear a disguise for your shoot, you are the one choosing the vibes you want to create and will bring the outfits and props that make you feel your most sensual-self.

Of course there are so many other ways to embrace your sensuality, you just have to experience and be curious.

Now you know what to do, go make sensuality part of your everyday routine!

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We made it on CTV!

Let us tell you a powerful story. A story full of dreams, love, and connections, that started 6 years ago when we opened Scandaleuse. Opening our business in a new country and in a new language was already a success for us, but wanted more.

We wanted to create a safe space for our clients to be their most magnificent-self, and also create meaningful and long-lasting connections between our Scandals and us. We were dreaming of being interviewed at the radio, on newspaper, and even one day making an appearance on national tv to really spread the word about all the great benefits from doing a boudoir shoot.

You can guess that those dreams don’t happened magically over night! We pushed ourselves out of our comfort zone so many times! Between going to tons of events and start conversations with strangers (if you are wondering how to network with someone without sounding too salesy, always start with an honest compliment on something they wear. This works every time 😉), making videos even though we felt so frustrated and uncomfortable talking in front of a camera, or all the new things we had to learn… We worked hard to meet people, create useful content, and build our brand! Not that we are done achieving everything on our list, but so far all of this hard worked payed off: we build a beautiful community and great reputation, we can pay ourselves a good salary, and we have the freedom to create.

We don’t just believe in ourselves

There is also something important to know about Juliette and I, we both are spiritual. We believe that everything happens for a reason and always try to manifest the things we want. Why are we mentioning that? Well, do you remember those interviews we mentioned previously? Every time we wrote down in our journals that we wanted to be interviewed, it happened!

The only one that was hard to manifest was the national TV appearance 😬. We were dreaming of it for a long time but it is possible that, deep down, we thought it was just a dream. Until it happens… We finally made it on TV 🎉

And you know, it is probably for the best it took 6 years to happen because even if it was a fabulous experience it was also nerve-wracking! The idea of speaking in another language live on national TV, made us feel really nervous. If there is something we learnt in our spiritual journey is that things don’t happen if you are not ready for them.

It was meant to be

During Covid we did a bunch of shoots in order to raise money to save one of our loft. This is when we met Aakriti (she did one of the shoots) who is a segment producer for the live show called The Social on CTV. She also posed for us last year for an exhibit we did against domestic abuse. She really loved those two boudoir experience that she decided to pitch the topic to the channel and they accepted! We are so grateful for her ❤️

On our side we were able to talk to her about Michelle Osbourne who is a body activist and a past client, as they wanted to have another speaker during the show. What a pleasure it was to share another amazing conversation with Michelle!

We were also very pleased to have Cai and Hallae with us during the shoot so they could have the opportunity to talk about their experience and how boudoir photography impacted their life!

Cherry on top of the cake, we did not know that one of our friend, Marny (that we met during a mastermind) would be the audience coordinator that day, and Jam Gamble (another past client) will be there as well.

Everything came in full circle!

What was it all about?

The concept was for the channel to follow us on a shoot to see the all process of a boudoir shoot, from the prepping of the client to the selection of the final photographs, with the shoot in between. And have some interviews from two past clients as well as Sarah who was our client for the day:

Then a few weeks later we were invited for one of The Social show’s segment to talk more about sensuality and empowerment for women:

You cannot see it in the video but we were all nervous when we sat down. Then we started to talk with the hosts and everything became so natural. The energy in the room was so positive, and the public was really receptive. It really helped us to feel at ease! We hope to be able to do it again in the future.

Doing some public speaking to give our opinion about sensuality and body empowerment is part of our mission. The more we can talk about how boudoir photography is an amazing way to reconnect with your body and how therapeutic it can be for a lot of people, the happiest we feel!

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I edited my photos and I regret it

If you follow us on Instagram, you saw that Fanny and I shared some of our earliest work as photographers. What was meant to be an endearing, loving and funny post brought out an interesting realization for me: I am not able to tell on which photos I edited my body. And I deeply regret it.

The quick fix of photo editing

I started fiddling with editing softwares when I was about 15, back in 2007. At first, it was just to create little emo montages to put on my blog (yes I'm this old).

Then, I found some tutorials to alter reality and change proportions. And of course, my deeply insecure teenaged self didn't wait 2 minutes before applying it to my face and my body. Like many teenagers, my weight was the main source of my insecurities. So I went to town, shrinking my waist, my cheekbones, my legs and removing anything I thought was a flaw.

Did it make me feel better? For a split second, absolutely. I got the outside validation from my peers, I convinced myself it was better this way, which was enough for me. I was actually quite good at editing and nobody noticed. Plus, it was the early days, our eyes weren't used to spot this kind of editing.

What I didn't realize is that I was heavily feeding my insecurities.

2012 - No idea if I edited myself or not, deleted the original.

The danger of building an alternate you.

Slapping filters, changing your body: it is never just a one-off.

Once you start, it only gets worse. It is never enough. Think about it, you found an easy way to fix one "flaw", of course you are gonna find ways to fix another. And then you gonna dive in into parts of yourself you didn't have anything against, but it needs to match the rest of the edited you so… a vicious cycle begins.

I distinctly remember snapping a little auto-portrait when I was about 16 and editing everything so much that I ended up changing the size of my eyes. The. Size. Of. My. Eyes.

I remember looking at this and thinking "who the f*ck is this".

This was one of the first steps that rang a bell to me and said “Jules, you went too far". I never published this photo and I wasn't able to find it, chances are I deleted a few years ago because of that reason.

You would think that this would have led my path to self-acceptance, that I stopped editing and unicorns started dancing around me. HA!

Nope. I just transferred this virtual version of me to my real life.

2011 - Edited my waist - Beautiful proof of my body-dysmorphia as I found myself fat.

I wanted to be this virtual version I created in real life.

I got that editing was bad for me but not for the right reasons. I twisted this to "I can't edit myself anymore because it makes me feel bad, so I'm gonna change my body in real life". This was the peak of my body-dysmorphia journey and it lasted way until my mid-2os.

I was just "too fat", all the time. Losing weight didn't make a difference, i didn't see it.

It started impacting my every day life, making me not eat before taking photos, not letting people take pictures of me, controlling everything as much as I could, something that I still do to this day when I'm feeling unsafe. I am extremely lucky that I didn't develop obsessive eating disorders, I honestly have no idea how I dodged it with this way of thinking.

Walking away from this required a lot of different seeds to stop acting like an idiot.

Many of those amazing women we get to work with on the daily.

1) Letting others show me.

We are in 2011. I am photographing more and more women I find absolutely stunning while they don't technically check the beauty standard boxes blasted in front of us. They're confident, they're open about their insecurities and they don't let them dictate their lives. I see them shine during my shoots and I'm impressed.

they planted the first seeds in my brain that I could actually accept myself the way I was too.

Then I meet other women just as beautiful but not as confident and it blows my mind. I find myself believing in and encouraging THEM to shine. And I must be doing something right because it works and they believe me. Even more so, a fire starts within them and I'm loving it.

And one day, it clicks: if I see their beauty at first glance and they don't, is there a chance I'm doing the same for me? Just like that, I planted the next seed: the one that shows the lack of accuracy of negative self-talk and that I shouldn't let it take over.

2) Starting aerial silks and changing my perspective.

By this time, we are in 2013, I'm 21. I haven't edited my body in years, but instead, I simply hide it in every way I can. Out of sight, out of mind. But I'm about to plant another seed for myself without knowing: I start aerial silks.

What's the point, you may wonder?
It made me see that my body is a strong ass one, more than just an appearance.

It starts changing too, it gets fitter, things I didn't know was an option. I don't see it as much as a flawed thing anymore, it impresses me. I knew that I had to capture that in case it faded away, so I can have a keepsake. So I did. I still have this photo in my apartment and look at it often.

3) Opening Scandaleuse and stopping the hypocrisy.

I'm 25 now, I'm just starting to embrace myself the way I should. Fanny and I are brainstorming ideas about Scandaleuse. We both have this deep passion around highlighting women's beauty, especially when they don't see it.

Boudoir is the way we chose but it is still much easier to do it for others than myself. So before we even opened anything, something pushed me out of my comfort zone and I asked Fanny to shoot my first ever boudoir shoot to know what it would feel like.

Of course, I fell RIGHT BACK into my old habits: I asked to shoot at 7am to make sure I wasn't bloated, before I had eaten anything. I had a very hard time to let go and I even edited some photos (“it was just some unflattering shadows” (no it wasn't))

Photo from this shoot. Pretty sure I edited my stomach here.

Not only did it make me feel like absolute garbage to do this but this was also the first time Fanny told me I was wrong, in calm, almost sad, way.

You see, I had never anybody who actually told me that. I have had people dismissing my concerns with the flicker of a hand many times, but no one actually sat me down and tried to tell me that I might see myself in the wrong light, especially someone I deeply trusted. Fanny planted one of the biggest seeds I needed and I don't think she knows it. I'm so glad she did.

I realized I couldn't open a business about self-acceptance and kicking beauty standards in the balls if I wasn't willing to do it myself.

And if there is one thing that I can't accept, it is being a hypocrite.

It was even more important than my insecurities, it just wasn't an option. From this moment, I decided it was time to change. I never edited myself again after this.

So, is it healed?

Mostly, yes. But I don't believe it will ever go away fully. I still have moments when old habits come back and I'm tempted to edit something or cancel a shoot because I feel fat. But I force myself not to. I force myself to look at it all because going backwards would make me the biggest hypocrite, and like I said, this isn't an option.

And you know what? The “flaws” I see one day are rarely here the next. Because that's how it works with insecurities: they depend on many other factors that have nothing to do with your body. Understanding this as helped me DETACH from it all. I'm not feeling my best? It's okay, it will be back.

There you have it. This is probably the blog post that took me the most energy. Writing this all is leaving me with a deep sense of appreciation. I've come a long way and will need constant reminders, but it's okay. If you are on the same boat, I hope reading my story will help. And of course, if you feel like you're ready to get the ultimate kick in the butt with a boudoir shoot, we are here for you!

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More blog posts on the topic

Warm, industrial, and cosy lofts

OUR LOFTS PART 2:

Alright, today let’s dive in the topic of finding the perfect location for your shoot!

As mentioned in the first episode, the decors in the studio where you will do your boudoir shoot is very important to match the vibe you wanna give to your pictures. Most photographers already have their own studio so you will not really have a choice in the aesthetic of the location.

But other photographers like us rent different places around the city to keep their creativity up and not give their clients the same pictures as anyone else.

Homy atmosphere? Yes please!

Those New York style lofts are our favourites because they usually mix bricks and beams, have beautiful vintage decors, tons of plants, and for some reasons the sofas are absolutely stylish, large, and comfy 😍

Since they are industrial, they always have those huge windows that bring up so much natural light in the space and creates contrasty lighting when the sun is out.

People who live in those lofts can be artsy peeps so most of the time you can find gorgeous pieces hanging on the walls.

Who are those type of lofts for?

If you like neutral and minimalist pictures, stay away from industrial atmosphere. Those locations are definitively better for the warm tons and busy background lovers.

Since there is a lot going on decor wize in those lofts, your outfits (or even your beautiful-self) will pop up less than in a more neutral space. In our opinion it is never a problem because we use the space to match perfectly each set and create unique photographs that look stunning as a whole.

It is like you are part of the painting 🎨

And if you enjoy everything that is vintage and pin up style, you will for sure love those type of spaces!

What if I am more like a blank canvas?

If you don’t really have ideas of the vibe you want your boudoir shoot to have, or like any type of decors, then follow your photographer’s guidance and trust the process. At the end of the day the main focus should be YOU 😘

Feeling more like the adventurer type? What about trying an outdoor boudoir shoot! Those are next level and you can take it in nature or in the city!

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Pure, simple, & minimalist lofts

Our lofts part 1:

Today, let’s talk about minimalist lofts and why they can be a beautiful option when it comes to boudoir!

We love scouting new lofts in the city for our sessions and seeing stars in the eyes of our clients when they see where we are making their shoot happens. When we opened Scandaleuse Photography 5 years ago, we took the decision to rent multiple studios rather than the same one so we can have more creative freedom and give our clients pictures that truly reflect their style.

Why is the decors important in boudoir photography?

The location is part of the artistic approach and will impact a lot the lighting, the poses, and the general vibe. When we take picture of you, we make sure your surrounding will highlight your beautiful-self and the atmosphere you want to have to each shot.

Let say for example you are someone who wants a Femme Fatale look and love moody pictures, having your photos taken in a loft that has an airy boho vibe with touch a girly colours will absolutely not match what you are looking for.

When you chose your photographer, make sure they can follow your ideas and adapt the decors to the general atmosphere you have in mind.

Alright, let’s dive into the Scandinavian vibe!

The most amazing thing about decors that have simple furniture and white tons is the neutrality they offer. They are perfect for everyone, either you are looking to highlight your femininity, masculinity, or a mix of both.

Since the walls are usually minimalist with no patterns or vibrant colours, every outfits pop up very nicely and allow the model (AKA you) to really be the focus of the picture.

Empty white walls are also really nice to create a more “fashion magazine” vibe and make you do poses that are artistic and less traditional.

Those type of lofts are for people who love simplicity and modernity.

For a lot of people, photographers included, boudoir is all about a romantic vibe, posing on a bed, wearing lace lingerie with garter belt. Don’t get us wrong, this type of classic boudoir is very pretty, but in our opinion you can have so much fun for your shoot and be very creative, while staying away from looking traditional (unless this is what you are looking for, which is of course absolutely fine). So don’t hesitate to think outside the box for your session.

Something that is really nice to do when you are thinking of doing a boudoir shoot is to create a Pinterest board and save ideas you can find there (anything from the lighting, poses, outfits,…). It is a lot of fun to do and it will help you to find inspiration to create something cool for yourself!

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I don't orgasm often, and that's ok!

Friends, today we are getting very intimate… If you are following us on social media you saw Juliette and I naked or in lingerie many times, but today’s blog really makes me feel vulnerable.

I never thought I would ever write about that, but here I am… and geez this is scary! I think this is the only thing in my life I have a lot of shame about.

Beside this feeling of shame, there is also the fact that it makes me feel like a joke. I claim being this open-minded, sexual ,and sensual being but yet I have a hard time reaching to what is considered as the Holy Grail of sexuality.

I was lucky to grow up with my mom with whom I could talk about everything. But the Orgasm topic is a tough one, mostly because I grew up feeling like if you don’t orgasm easily you are broken. Even though I surrounded myself with loving people, I never talk about it with them. The only person who knows is Juliette, and recently a couple of other people from our community.

Their support is what’s pushing me to be vulnerable and share about it today. I am hoping my story will help other women (adults and teenagers included) feeling less alone, more at peace with the female orgasm, and the fact it is ok to not orgasm or less often than you are “supposed” to.

DISCLAIMER: I am not specialized in sexuality and I am not a doctor. Everything I am sharing with you here is just based on my own experience. If you are seeking physical or mental health advice please reach out to a specialist.

The female orgasms and the pressure around it

As the title mentioned I don't orgasm often. Well actually let me be more specific: I rarely orgasm when I have sex with men. When I am pleasuring myself it is not an issue because I know my body and what turns me on. But when I am with someone I get too much in my head and it rarely happens (to give you an idea what rarely means to me: I can count on one hand the number of orgasms I had with partners since I started to have sex).

I was 17 when I had sex for the first time, I am now 32. At that time the topic of orgasm was still taboo and subject to a lot of jokes. I have heard so many comments from people around me (or in the movies) like this one below:

“I pity women who cannot orgasm, it must be so awful! I hope it will never happen to me!”

Those jokes, awful discussions, and BS around the female pleasure are extremely shameful and put a lot of pressure on our shoulders (women are already dealing with so many shit, it is something more we don’t need!).

Growing up, my references (which were probably the same for you) for the woman’s pleasure were coming from:

• Magazines:

  I remember all of those articles on how to come faster, how to please your man, what to wear to be more sexy, what to do and not do during sex… All of those were just about appearance and performance, full of misinformation.

• Romantic movies (or adult ones):

  You know those intimate scenes where the characters are having sex and the woman comes in only a few seconds (she got her elbow touched and boom, orgasm!) Also, don't get me started on the lack of foreplay 😡.

So in my teenager/young adult mind, I believed orgasms had to happen during each intercourse and had to come fast. But this was never the case for me and I did not understand why. Talking about it to anyone was difficult as I was afraid to be laughed at, and judged.

Pride had also a huge part in my silence. I did not want to “admit something was wrong” with me since I was feeling like I had to “fix this broken part of me”. Showing vulnerability is something quite recent in the self-development journey. We grow up believing we have to be strong all the time and never show any signs of weakness.

I now understand and know that not orgasming like society tells you to doesn’t mean you are broken, but at that time I did not know better so I learnt to adapt: AKA I started to fake my orgasms (I can imagine a lot of you raising your eyebrows, thinking how wrong that is, and you are probably right. Faking doesn’t solve anything but sometimes it is the only solution you find to get a little bit of peace of mind).

Everyone is different.

As I already mentioned, I am a sexual person: talking about sexuality was never an issue, I starting to touch and discover my body from a very young age (I was under five if I remember correctly). I always considered sexuality as something natural because it is the education I received from my mom (which I am really grateful for).

It is important for me to share that information with you to put everything back into perspective. It is easy to believe that if a woman doesn't orgasm it is because she doesn't know her body well or she doesn't enjoy sex. Of course it can be, but it is not always the case. It can be physical, it can be mental, it can be both. It really depends of each individuals, and their story, past, trauma, mental blocks, education, religion, community, health…

If you don’t already watch Layla Martin’s video, I highly suggest you do it. Her videos are always really helpful to me!

Partners and communication.

I feel very self-conscious right now to write this part because I have some of my exes following Scandaleuse and probably reading our blogs. But I cannot let out what I am about to say as it is an important part of my story and I know a lot of women will relate.

I have had around 25 partners, some were long term relationship, others were one-night stands or short terms. And I faked with all of them, I am not proud of that fact but it is the truth.

So you might wonder, did they ever noticed. Maybe some of them did, but most of them did not. And the reason is simple: I have always been good at finding stratagems to avoid talking about this lack of orgasms. Such as faking, or knowing how to make them come faster so I did not have to come at all (because most men believe that once they are done, it means you are too so they don’t even bother taking care of you).

And if you are thinking: “Fanny, it would have been healthier to simply communicate with them rather than avoiding that conversation!”. Well, every time I open up the topic with some of my partners, they took it personally, they thought that with them it would be different (men are proud creatures!). They never fully listened or tried to understand, and they ended putting more pressure on me. So most of the time I got very discouraged and I kinda gave up (which is not a solution either).

On top of that my relationship with men has always been complicated. I never fully trusted my partners, so expressing your feelings and setting boundaries up when you don’t feel comfortable with someone makes the process of communication really difficult.

Sexuality is much more than achieving orgasms

Women, are emotional beings. Our mind and body are deeply connected, so if we don't feel safe, if we are anxious, or any other reasons to not feel good in the moment, our bodies will not react positively during sex, and it gets really difficult to let go. Which can create for example lack of orgasm or pain.

Women also store most of their past trauma in their womb area which can make sexuality (especially penetrative sex) quite emotional and difficult.

Sexuality should be an act of pure pleasure and not a race for the best performance. Yes, orgasms feel amazing but we should not pressure ourselves to always achieve the grand finale (all gender included!).

Not having an orgasm doesn’t mean it wasn’t pleasurable! I wish my partners were able to understand that, instead of feeling frustrated because they did not make me come. It is something so deeply rooted in our beliefs that even a honest conversion with them did not make a difference. They simply refused to believe I had still a great time despite not having an orgasm.

Pleasure, consent, respect, and communication should be taught at school

Some people are really good at communicating to their partner how they like to be touched, or how to say NO. For other peeps it is more tricky.

I wished my sex education at school was deeper than using protection and fearing STDs. I wished they had taught us about other things that are as important like body discovery, pleasure, consent, respect, and communication. But because so many part of the sexuality are hidden from kids and teens, they use porn as their main reference (we did too), and porn is not the reality.

A better sex education would have been be game changer for many adults, it would have cut off so much shame around this subject.

Writing about this was much needed!

I haven’t published this blog yet and still feel nervous about it. The main reason why I waited so long before sharing this part of me with anyone is because I was afraid it will become a label. That people will stop seeing me as “Fanny who has a big heart and cares about the environment” and instead see me as “Fanny who cannot orgasm.” But someone told me:

“Well there is a higher chance they will see you as The Woman Who Dares To Talk About iI!”.

How powerful is that? 🤯.

I am not really giving you any solution here, because I am still searching what could work for me (but I already have an action plan - that is the business woman talking inside me). I am just hoping that if you relate to this blog it will help you in anyway possible.

By the way, here is what my action plan is if it can inspire you:

• Opening my sexuality up to other genders: I always considered myself as pansexual and always thought I am interested by people rather than what they have between their legs, I just never had the opportunity to experience with another gender than cis male.

• Choosing my partners better: I know what I want in my relationships so I have been “filtering” my potential lovers for a little while now. Even if it means being single for longer than usual.

• Listening to my guts: We have a very strong and natural instinct that we unfortunately don’t listen to. So many times I had a little voice in my head and heart telling me to be careful because there was something weird with a person, or the situation was not right, and I chose to not listen and obviously got burnt. Well not anymore, now I am listening to my guts: if I don’t trust, I don’t go for it.

• Learning to communicate better about my sexual needs: this one is hard for me, I never knew how to explain what I like or not to my partners, and I have forced myself so many times because I didn’t dare to say no or change the dynamic.

I really hope this blog will be helpful. You are not alone! Do not feel ashamed anymore or scared to talk about it with people you trust and love.

I am more than happy to talk about it publicly or privately for people who wanna have the conversation. You can reach out by email or social media 💛

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