"It's just not me" - how to feel like yourself on your boudoir photos

There are many fears around boudoir photography and on of the biggest we have heard as photographers is “I'm not a sexy person, it is just not me". And we don't blame you, we haven't met many people saying out loud that they see themselves as sexy or sensual.

The thing is: we are ALL sensual and sexy beings. It just have to be in our own way. So, how can you enjoy the perks of doing a boudoir shoot and still feel like yourself?

1) Detach yourself from what you've been told "sexy” is.

Anything sexy often comes with its load of clichés and negative stigma. What is sexy to one person, can easily be seen as vulgar to another. Trying to find something that would work for everyone would be a waste of energy, let's just put it towards finding what makes you feel sensual and sexy. The good news? It could be anything. Being sexy or sensual is very versatile and far from being based solely on appearance. Do you feel sexy when playing the guitar or wearing a specific body-suit? Good, just bring those.

2) Pick the right makeup, if any.

It is often encouraged to wear make-up on photoshoots to wear - and we do offer it ourselves if you wish - but it doesn't mean it is mandatory. Not only you don't need to wear any if it's not your jam, but if you choose to, you don't have to take it too far from what you usually do.

Of course, working with a makeup artist is also the opportunity to try something different, and if you want to experiment, go for it! But if you want to look like yourself, see it as a way to get a professional version of your own makeup.

HAVING A CLEAR VISION OF THE MAKEUP YOU PICTURE YOURSELF WITH IS VERY HELPFUL TO feel like yourself.

3) Prepare outfits that make you feel amazing.

Boudoir isn't just about the classic lingerie sets, far from it!

ANY OUTFIT CAN BE TURNED INTO A BOUDOIR ONE, YOU JUST HAVE TO REMOVE SOME LAYERS.

If you feel like a garter belt and stockings aren't like you, take your favourite style and remove some layers! Loose tshirts with cute panties, a pair of jeans topless, a silky robe, bralette and skirt, possibilities are endless, so have fun with it!

4) Don't overthink poses

When it comes to posing, the simplier, the better!

ONE POSE LOOKS VERY DIFFERENT ON 2 DIFFERENT BODIES.

It's great to feel inspired by some poses but attempting to copy them exactly might not work. However, poses can be adapted to your body type so they still looks badass, effortless, and flattering. Don't hesitate to ask your photographer, we personally love getting inspiration photos from our clients and adjust the poses depending on them.

5) Try it at home

Practice makes perfect! Observing ourselves, taking our own photos, trying on different outfits and poses in front of the mirror… All of these are very helpful to see what you look like when you feel like yourself. That way, you will feel comfortable quicker in front of a lens and will know what works for you.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE GETTING THE HANG OF IT SOLO BEFORE TURNING TO A PRO, CHECK OUT OUR ONLINE BOUDOIR GUIDE*! IT IS THE PERFECT TOOL TO LEARN TO STYLE AND POSE YOURSELF IN DIFFERENT SETTINGS, IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME.

*its cost is 100% redeemable on a photoshoot with us too!

Don’t forget to not take yourself seriously or put pressure on yourself. A boudoir shoot is such an empowering and beautiful experience, you won’t regret trusting the process!

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How we ended up creating an exhibit for women

Ever since we began our careers as photographers, we put "hosting an exhibit” on our "dream big” bucket list. You know, the list of things you don't really dare thinking they could actually happen because they seem so huge to you? Yes, that list.

And it stayed there for 4 years. The idea resurfaced in conversations here and there, before getting buried by other projects deemed more accessible.

Until the day it actually turned out to be in our reach.

Here is a tiiiiiny glimpse of what we're cooking

It is safe to say that, so far, we've never had a project aligning so smoothly. Every single projects we have created required an insane amount of hustling and hope, and many of them failed. This one was brought to us and is just clicking its way forward. And it all started with…

Meeting the right people.

Our job allows us to meet wonderful people. The kind of people who are looking to make a difference within themselves. And those people are also the ones who are ready to lend a hand to others.

Back in July 2021, we had no idea that one of our clients worked at gallery right downtown Toronto (in a building we have been in many times, dreaming of the day we will get to do something there may we add) until she casually said:

"If you guys ever need a gallery space, just let me know and I will see what I can do!”

Dyana planted the seed and we didn't think much of it, until we started working on renewing a past project: Unstoppable.

Our freshly done logo

Wanting to do something bigger.

Unstoppable was a big group photoshoot we initially launched in 2019, in order to raise awareness around the fact that just because you choose to take intimate photos of yourself does not justify you losing credibility, on top of adding a good layer of body positivity.

We had been dying to do a second edition and we were in the middle of brainstorming it when Dyana made that comment.

Then it clicked in our brains: what if we could turn this project into an exhibit?

Except it wasn't enough. A project like this becomes even more meaningful when it relates to a cause.

This was pretty much right between lockdowns in Toronto. And somehow, we kept coming across organizations and articles sharing about how much those lockdowns have made the number of women victim of domestic violence skyrocket.

Many of our clients are survivors of abusive and violent relationships. They come to us as a way to celebrate their getting out of it and reclaiming their own image.

Scandaleuse was created to give women a way to express and liberate themselves. As you can imagine, we have always been extremely touched by those stories.

And just like that, we had a chance to help differently.

This entire exhibit and photoshoot would be created to raise funds and awareness for organizations helping women victim of domestic violence.

Ok, great, but who to help?

Before we could even finish that though, the universe aligned once again: another one of our clients randomly told us about her volunteering for a women shelter in the city. She gave us some contact we could talk to and we ended up connection with both Sistering and Canadian Women's Foundation.

Getting support.

Now, we are at the stage where things are getting real. The support we have received so far has been so organic. We created a whole concept around the photographs and did the shoot with 10 amazing women. The gallery is secured thanks to Dyana. The charity is on board thanks to Apharnna. We even got a grant from the Ontario Arts Council (thank you Victoria!).

We are currently looking for sponsors and an ad agency to help us spread awareness. If you or someone you know can help, please contact us here.

We are learning many things along the way and we can't wait to show you more. In the meantime, mark your calendars for March 8th, for our big opening night!

If you want to keep an eye on this project and get all of the info when the time comes, make sure to join our weekly newsletter below! ⬇️

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Supported by the Ontario Arts Council

Overcoming Fear

Have you ever asked someone why they are not moving towards one of their dream? Most of the time they will find a strong excuse to cover the fact, that deep down, they are too afraid to do it (maybe they are not even aware of it). Does it sounds familiar to you? Of course it does, we all do it!

It is unfortunately common to settle in a life that is not meant for us. Depending of where we grew up, our education, people we surround ourselves with and our life traumas, we all have deep fears that are stopping us from making our dreams a reality.

What is fear exactly?

If you check Wikipedia, you will read that fear is an emotion induced by perceived danger or threat, which causes physiological and ultimately behavioural changes, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events.

It is a fundamental and deeply wired reaction every species feel and is meant to protect organisms's integrity and/or existence. Fear may be as simple as an hissing cat, or as complex as existential anxiety for humans.

It is an important emotion because it makes us take actions to protect ourselves when we feel in danger, it also creates adrenaline rushes some people might need in order to “feel alive". But it can also negatively impact every decisions we take and stop us from experiencing unknown situations.

Are we born with fear?

Yes, but only two innate ones: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. It is in our genes to have those natural instinct to keep us from getting killed.

Of course the more we grow up and experience life, the more we start to develop other fears which are triggered by real threats from past or present events and traumas, but also from imagined dangers such as other people's experiences and the media.

The most common fears against success

There are plenty of fears and phobias but today we want to talk about the most common ones that are stopping us from being successful.

Failure:

We live in a society where failure as a bad reputation as we only celebrate victories and success but not the struggles along the way. Because of this shame to fail, many people will refuse to experience something new unless they are confident they can win. It is a vicious circle for procrastination as in order to not fail we avoid even trying.

Even though failing can have awful consequences, you can also learn a lot from it. You get emotionally stronger and have more courage to keep trying. It helps you grow by questioning your current path and the mistakes you have done so far.

Rejection:

Nobody likes to be rejected! We take it so personally when it happens because it makes us feel like fools, makes us believe there is something wrong with us and increase our frustration from not getting what we want.

Is it really worth to miss out on opportunities because you don't want to take the risk to have your ego bruised? At the end of the day, the worst thing that can happen is that you get a “No".

Change:

Even though changes are part of our lives as we live in a world that is in a constant evolution, a lot of people are afraid of changes. They often feel like they have no control over their lives due to those changes. So they become stagnant, live in the past and are unwilling to move, to progress or change anything from their routine.

Allowing yourselves or your life to change is one more step closer to freedom and happiness. Do you know what the good news is? It can start with just a few baby steps!

Being Judged:

How many time did you stop yourself from doing something because you were afraid of other people's judgment (put your hand in the air if you are guilty of it!)? This intense and persistent fear of being watched and judged by others affects every aspects of our life: work, school, social events and any day-to-day activities. It also impact the way we and others perceive ourselves.

When you feel like one of your action is being judge by people, remember they judgment is based on their own live. What works for them does not have to work for you (and vice versa).

Inadequacy:

Not being good enough. Story of our lives isn't it? A lot of people believe they do not have the necessary qualities and abilities to achieve something or to deal with life in general and have this feeling they don't measure up to other people. To overcompensate this fear, they generally criticize themselves and try to be perfectionists.

We all have our own strengths and flaws. Stop comparing yourself to others and become your own measurement system.

Do not let fear take over your life. It is too precious to be put on the side.

It might take time, commitment, money or risks but it is worth it. You deserve to experience and live the life of your dream but only YOU can make it happen.

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5 reasons why you should do a boudoir shoot for your partner

While the best reason to do a boudoir shoot is definitely for yourself, you can also truly enjoy sharing these precious risqué photos with your special someone. We can all safely admit that when we feel beautiful, proud and confident, it does feel extra good when someone else can see it too.

Here are 5 reasons why you should consider sharing your boudoir photos with your partner:

1) The ultimate surprise effect

Many people would never expect in a million years to receive professional boudoir photos of their partners. Especially if it is not a habit of yours to snap some spicy selfies, giving such a unique gift will definitely lend you the best-gift-ever gold medal. Seeing your loved one face light up with surprise is such a bliss to witness. And with this follows…

2) To make them feel extra special

Boudoir photos are the proof that you stepped into vulnerable and intimate experience. You sharing the outcome with your partner is a privilege. You didn't have to do that, but yet, you've let them in, creating an even stronger bond between you two. Talk about feeling special!

3) To bring out more confidence in you that they will get to enjoy too.

It is no secret that confidence is attractive as hell. By doing a boudoir shoot, you will get a strong confidence boost that will spread on everything you touch. Yes, your relationship too!

4) To step into your sexy self that they will (definitely) love too!

The above also applies to your sensual side, side often buried deep under our every day lives. If anything, we get so caught up in daily routines, it is rare that we maintain this oh-so-pleasant feeling of being sexy. Maybe you never really felt it either and you made the great decision of experimenting (yay, you!). Not only will you enjoy a confidence boost, but you will also get a strong sexy boost! Everyone enjoys seeing their partner in a different light here and there, especially when it involves their (almost) naked bodies!

5) To give them a spicy reminder that you're a hot stuff, my friend!

This applies even more if you have been with someone for quite a while. Even if there is a lot of love between two people, sometimes, it happens that we forget how attractive our special someone is. Well, try giving them boudoir photos and let the reminder that, yes, they are with a sexy beast, sink in!

If you are ready to dazzle your partner with beautiful photos of yourself, take advantage of our Christmas deal! We are offering 50% off on our sessions for the occasion, as well as including some free goodies!

I tried a dudeoir shoot!

Hey there,

My name is Kino Jet, I am a guy, and I did a dudeoir photoshoot. Yep.

via GIPHY

Now, you may wonder "why on Earth would you even do that?". Truth is, I just wanted to see what I would look like in a more "risqué" setting. The vision I have of my body has changed over the years and I wanted to see what the reality actually was. I'm also always up for a challenge, and this definitely felt like it could fit the bill.

Was it the most uncomfortable thing I did in my life? I mean, it was pretty high up there.

I have found myself in front of a lens on multiple occasions, for fun or to help a friend out, so I figured it would be fairly easy. But yet, from the moment I booked the shoot, the only thing that was racing through my mind was:

"What the f*ck did I get myself into?"

I had to idea what to expect and I can tell you for a fact, that I was scared shitless.

I immediately began to think of every part of my body that I had issues with - my double chin, my sagging waist... I wondered to myself if it would look good enough, or even, if I had a good side...? I also began to think about what others would think of me doing a photoshoot like this, considering that women usually do this kind of thing, and not men.

Regardless of what I thought, I had already begun to make my way towards the shoot. It was like riding a roller-coaster that you couldn't get off of, because, well, you're already half-way up the hill. You can't just tell the operator "screw this shit, I'm out of here."

But the moment I got to the top, it was everything I didn't expect.

Only seconds after entering the room, I was greeted by the sound of music. The room was furnished with numerous plants, dangling lights, and comfy chairs, and it felt as if I was at a cottage. The moment Fanny and Juliette greeted me, I felt much better.

I started with the most covering outfit I had and then slowly stripped down to my underwear while they guided me through each pose. The more tips they gave me on how to position myself, the more I relaxed and became immersed and dedicated to getting my photo taken.

Time just flew by and before I knew it, the shoot was done.

Now, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I felt pretty damn good. And proud. I successfully took on this challenge like a boss.

via GIPHY

I couldn't WAIT to see the photos though I was nervous that they wouldn't look as good as I felt during the shoot. I was prepared to mentally go in a fetal position, but yet, when the photos showed up on the screen, I thought "Wait a minute. I DO f*cking look great".

I might not have had the best sleep the night before, or that "inverted Dorito" look that every guy strives for, but my arms, chest, legs, everything, look damn good, and nobody can't tell me otherwise. The reality I was looking for hit me, and it left me with a smile on my face. Mission accomplished.

I sincerely hope you will give yourself the chance to get in front of the camera too. And when you do, I have one advice you:

Go into the shoot with zero expectations.

Own that photoshoot, show your body off, flex that arm of yours. The less expectations you have, and the more fun it will be.

Growing up, I always had issues on how I saw my body. Even after losing weight, I still saw that pudgy little kid who used to suck in his stomach to hide the fact that he was overweight. But for the first time in a while, I was able to shift my idea of what my body looked like. The boudoir experience was such an amazing learning experience for me when it came to pushing my own boundaries when it came to masculinity. I realized I developed a lot of fear when it came to wanting to feel attractive and confident, and that's completely normal.

It's okay to tell yourself that this is what makes me happy. It's alright to be seen and desired in this way. As a bro telling you, another bro, it's alright to be flexible with your masculinity. It's important to break down those barriers that prevent you from feeling great about yourself.

I believe that the only way to grow as a person, are to do things that makes you feel uncomfortable. When you seek discomfort, you begin to live life's greatest moments and create connections that last for a lifetime.

~ Kino Jet

If like Kino you want to try this fantastic adventure that is dudeoir photography, then our Movember Boudoir Marathon is for you!

I stopped wearing bras and something cool happened

About three years ago, I stopped wearing bras. Mostly because first: I don't have much to support and second: because bralettes became trendier and trendier. And guess what? I only got a positive outcome out of it.

Disclaimer: I am team small boobies. I don't have any back issues. If you do, you may want to try it slowly before burning all of your bras. Just saying.

Put the stereotypes down and turn off the slut-shaming.

I started wearing a bra way before high school just to do like my friends and followed this vicious cycle for over a decade. People tend to think you are a tease if you walk around without one. Like your breasts are here to turn on people only and how dare you exposing them like that? Don't you see strangers can see your... your.... *whisper* nipples?!

NEWS FLASH: we all have nipples. Mind blown.

Between you and I, a few years ago, even I was slightly uncomfortable  when I noticed a woman not wearing a bra in a public place. Why? No freaking clue. Because, seriously, there are no reason to feel that way. I realize today how stupid it was but I guess I was conditioned to see strictly maintained breasts and BOOM, these ladies were't following "the rules". God they were right!

The best feeling in the world? Taking your bra off.

We all did it. You get home, you have this thing strapped around your torso and the minute you snap it off, you have such a good feeling of freedom that you can almost get a tiny orgasm. I did this for many years.

I remember reading more and more testimonials about how some women stopped wearing these very uncomfortable things and how no one died and the Earth kept on spinning.

It slowly made its way in my head and it hit me: why the hell am I even bothering wearing one if it's so uncomfortable to begin with? So one day, I bought... a bralette. At first, the idea of walking around without anything at all made me uncomfortable. But like anything good in life, you get use to it and it is worth it!

Bralettes are LIFE my friend. They are cute, they are cheap and HOLY MOLY they are COMFORTABLE.

I can safely say now that I ditched my old painful bras for a sweet collection of these little things. And then, something quite unexpected happened...

I actually started to like my boobs the way they are.

Truth is, I never really liked my girls until two years ago. My bras were actually a way to change their shape, hide them, lift them, you name it. Because of course, I only owned the push-ups, pretty thick, underwire bras. Again, I am team small boobies and the lifting is not an issue I need to worry about.

I was very self-conscious and wearing bralettes with absolutely no support or thickness made me see them the way they are on an every day basis. And I did better than getting used to them: I started actually liking them.

I have reading articles saying that if you wear a bra constantly, the shape of your breast is affected by it. Not wearing them allows your boobs to support themselves and they get in the shape they are supposed to be. To be honest, I don't even know if it's true, but I do believe it made a difference on me.

Don't get me wrong, I still like lingerie

I do think lingerie is awesome and can give you a boost towards your sexiness. I still have a couple of classics for when I want to spice things up and I will very likely get more. But it is not out of necessity anymore. It is because it makes me feed good.

Wanna try? Here are a few tips:

• You don't have to stop everything at once, every day. Start with a few hours or even one day a week when you are home, just to test the waters.
• Get a few bras without underwiring, or again, bralettes to help with the transition.
• Nipple conscious but ready to rock the no-bra? You can get those little pasties to hide your nipples until you are ready to... stop giving a f*ck.

I can't tell you the amount of tops I can't wear a bra with because of the design that I now own proudly. Free the boobies.

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Does boudoir photography make you feel nervous?

Is doing a boudoir shoot on your bucket list but you keep pushing it back because you feel nervous? Maybe it is your first time and really don't know what to expect. Or maybe you have done one in the past and want do this experience again, but your body has changed and it’s stressing you out?

If so, keep reading. This blog is definitively for you!

Don't give up on the idea of doing a boudoir shoot just because it makes you feel nervous

It's the middle of the afternoon and you need to take a break from work. So you open your Pinterest account to check out your boudoir board and daydream about the day you will finally do that shoot. You scroll down all the beautiful images you have been saving over the time, picturing yourself rocking your fav outfits. When suddenly that happy moment is interrupted by nasty little voices in your head:

“I don't know how to pose, I will look ridiculous!"

“I am not fit enough, I have to lose weight before doing that shoot!”

“I am too old! It is such a bad idea.”

Your confidence is decreasing, your heart starts racing, your palms are sweaty, and your chest is getting heavy. So you quit Pinterest telling yourself it was such a bad idea to begin with, and shut down your desire to try boudoir photography.

It is normal to feel scared or anxious about new experiences, but you should not give up on a dream because of those negative feelings. When you do, you miss out on tons of new opportunities, badasseries, and discoveries. Especially for boudoir as it is so much more than getting pretty pictures:

It is about giving the middle finger to fear, judgment, and expectation!

And honestly, it makes you feel like you can conquer the world (if you can strip down in front of a stranger, nothing can stop you!).

via GIPHY

90% of our clients are first timers, and have all felt nervous before their shoot. We don't blame them! Boudoir photography can be a vulnerable experience. Most people have so much shame and anger towards their body that the idea of showing more skin than they are used to is scary for them.

We also have clients who did a boudoir shoot in the past, but since, their body has changed (they got pregnant, gain/lost weight, got new scars, or just aged) and it has ben very difficult for them to accept those changes.

In our opinion boudoir is one of the best way to learn to accept and see your body the way it is: naturally beautiful.

Let's destroy those negative beliefs and clichés that are stopping you from experiencing boudoir photography

If you stressed out with the idea of doing (or re doing) a shoot, it is probably because you have a negative image around your body or about boudoir photography. Today we want to destroy those limiting beliefs so you can finally let go and experience more things in life (and book your shoot 💪):

• “My body is not beautiful enough.”

This one is huge and definitively has to go. If you have this thought, please stop for a second and remove it from your mind. You are freaking beautiful! And yes we know what you are thinking: "How can you know, you don't know what I look like?!".

First of all, beauty is beyond the physical plan. If you are kind, compassionate, and care about other things than yourself, then it shows on the outside.

Second, they are many kind of beauty in this world. It is not because you don't follow the “usual" beauty standards that you are not beautiful.

Last but not least, boudoir photography should not be about showcasing only one type of body. Opening Scandaleuse was our way to change the game in the boudoir world and make this beautiful art accessible to every shapes and sizes.

• "I am not photogenic."

False. Everyone is photogenic. What you are is not being comfortable in front of a camera. And that is ok! Take the most beautiful person in the world, if that person were to feel really uncomfortable about herself and during the shoot, the finale pictures will not be remarkable.

This is why we believe it is very important to choose a photographer that will match your vibe. It is not just about liking their work but also feeling comfortable with their energy. If you feel you cannot be yourself with a potential photographer, then find a new one.

• “I am not a model.”

Nobody expect you to know how to pose. It is our job, us photographers, to guide you along the process. When you work with Juliette and I, we take the time to demonstrate each poses we have in mind, we make sure you feel comfortable doing them and if not we show you other variations. We also make sure to pose you accordingly to your body type and the vision you have of your shoot.

We know posing is not easy. Believe it or not we have been in your shoes. Like you, we have felt really awkward the first time we had to pose 😬.

To help you relax, see this shoot as a fun experience, something you will try a few times in your life. It is a moment between you and yourself, no one is here to judge you.

• “I am too old.”

There is this misconception around boudoir photography that is only for people in there 20's / 30's. This is absolutely false! We have had clients doing a shoot to celebrate their 60th birthday or just to rock their 50's. The only rules that applies in the boudoir world is to do it for yourself.

Age should not be an excuse to stop experiencing life!

• “I am transgender, I guess boudoir isn't for me.”

Many people think boudoir is only for cisgender women. This common belief does not surprise us because most photographers, especially male ones, still offer traditional boudoir sessions (overly photoshopped women, on a bed in an hotel room, doing sexualized poses). Even if those sessions attracts one type of clientele, it does not reflect what boudoir photography truly is and most importantly, it does not make boudoir inclusive.

For us boudoir is for anyone, doesn't matter what you identify to. You should not be rejected by any professionals because of your gender.

Take a deep breath, you got this!

Now that you know that, yes, you can do a boudoir shoot (because there is absolutely no criteria to stop you from doing it), you can put it back on your dream list or even book your shoot now! To make this process even smoother, check out our blog about everything you need to know before doing a boudoir shoot.

If you still feel nervous about it and are not sure if you are ready to try boudoir, then take your time to do more research. Don't book last minute, it is not a race. The more you rush into it the more stressful it gets. And once again, make sure to find the best photographer for you, someone who will make you feel very comfortable.

This shoot should be a fun and empowering experience. You will see that once you book yours, the excitation will replace the anxiety. So go for it 💋

We would love to stay in touch and have you in our community of badass people. Sign up to our newsletter below for more tips and tricks (we promise to not send you more than two emails per week!) ⬇️

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The Female Collective: the power you need to join.

A little while ago, we came across a story of an actress who had some risqué photos, taken a few years before for a magazing, resurfacing. While she said she had nothing to be ashamed of and was actually proud of her photos (YES!), a wave of negative comments popped everywhere. You know, the classic judgy, borderline slutshaming kind.

While this is unfortunately common, we were surprised to see that the majority of those comments came from women.

So, while the media just screams “women supporting women” with a layer of pink glitter, it seems that when it comes to actually do it, we still have a bit to go.

Woman to woman hostility: why does it even happen to begin with?

Is it jealousy?

You must have heard growing up ”ugh, she's just jealous” when you got criticized by another girl, especially when it comes to a physical comment. Just because you get a nasty comment on your physique doesn’t mean it is because the other woman wants to look like you. We personally think it is an easy way to label it and it goes much deeper than “just” jealousy.

Heavy expectations

Gigantic expectations have been weighing on women for centuries. So much so that we have been deeply conditioned to think that certain things are acceptable for women, and some aren’t, for no good reason whatsover. It creates frustration that builds up so much over time that when someone dares to ignore those expectations, it just hurts too much that we couldn't do it and they could.

The fear of judgment

What is the #1 obstacle that makes us feel so small and intimidated when we want to try something new? The fear of being judged.

Many of us are terrified by the idea that someone points the finger at us laughing when you dare trying something outside the box. And what happens next? We give up before even starting, thinking it is not worth the risk. Once again, when someone gathers the courage to do something we put in the risky category and comes out the other end safe & sound AND happier, frustration comes into play.

The backlash this actress received had nothing to do with the actual photos of her body. They were about the fact that she did something considered “improper” but yet she looks beautiful & confident and she is owning it.

Something “bad” is not supposed to make you feel or look good and she went against that. That’s why the frustration monster popped its head out and when we don't acknolewdge it, it manifests into toxicity.

Women have already so many battles to fight, and there is one we can easily win: let’s stop turning on each other and empower each other instead.

The female collective: an endless source of power that benefit us all

When we are aware of those super-powers, this is when magic happens.

Working of the common good is our biggest strength.

The majority of us get higher energy when we know we contributed to the common good. Over the years, it got labelled as a maternal and nurturing instinct, making it more limited and not necessarily taken seriously.

But this is a major asset. Collective work is how changes happen. You can only go so far alone, and we got that many moons ago without even noticing.

Mastering the art of empowerment.

How many times have your friends given you the boost of confidence you needed? Out of these, how many times was it much stronger than your own pep talk?

Thanks to our ability to work for the common good, we have also developed another skill: creating a bulletproof support system. We can make anyone feel seen and appreciated in a matter of minutes.

We are the best cheerleaders and through this, we don't need to empower ourselves because someone is doing it for us while we empower someone else and so on.

Unstoppable - our project that illustrated it all

Everything we just wrote really sunk it our brains back in 2018 after witnessing it all for a couple years. We empowered women with our work and it empowered us back. So we decided to illustrate it by posing 12 women who didn't know each other, together, in a context deemed "inappropriate” to the outside world.

This project created such a peak of confidence and energy that we were all on cloud 9 for days. Those reminders are precious and very much necessary to keep building positive changes.

And we are doing again, bigger & louder this time.

Sign up for our newsletter below to get all of the updates, behind-the-scenes and join our community. We would be happy to be your support system. 😉

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Let's talk about choices

Today we are writing about something that is not boudoir related but that really impacts us as women: last week, Texas laws banned abortion at six weeks, and this is not ok!

It does not matter why some women decide to stop their pregnancy or when they want to do it, abortion is a choice and a right, and should not be a political debate.

My body, my choice

Since this law was voted, my social media have been saturated with anger, and extreme comments coming from both sides. People are very opinionated and an online war started between those who are for abortion and those who are against.

As usual instead of keeping their energy to fight people who create those ridiculous laws, people fight each others and totally lack compassion towards those who are facing this difficult situation that is an unwanted pregnancy (either they want or not to get an abortion). Either you are for or against abortion, you have to understand it is a personal decision.

There is no need to become hateful towards people who don't make the same body, sexual, or reproductive choices as you do.

If I were to take Juliette and I as an example, the new Texas law and seeing that abortion is still illegal in other countries makes us very angry, as we are pro abortion. But we understand and respect the fact that some women will never do an abortion for themselves.

People have different opinions and needs. What work for someone does not necessarily work for someone else. Creating laws that go against people's freedom is revolting and should not happen anymore.

via GIPHY

It is not a man decision

I can imagine some people being pretty upset after reading this. But I stand by what I am about to say:

When it comes to the woman body, men should not be allowed to make any decisions about it.

Of course I am not saying they don't have the right to have an opinion. I just believe that if you cannot physically experience a situation (such as an abortion for example), there is no way you can understand enough to take decisions or create laws about it.

Every topics around the woman body should stay in women's hands.

That being said, it does not mean that all women would respect others women choices. There are also a lot of men who fight beside women, and believe anyone should be able to decide what is best their own body and health.

The danger of making abortion illegal

“Banning abortion doesn’t stop it from happening, it just drives it underground” - Margaret Wurth

Beside taking away a woman's choice, making abortion illegal can also become a factor of risk or death. Women who really want to stop their pregnancy are not gonna magically changed their mind because it is illegal. They will find a way to terminate it, and a lot of times it means doing it in an unsafe environment or by people lacking medical training.

Even if clandestine abortion is “safer” than before because of medication and technology, women still die from it every day.

Unwanted and unplanned pregnancies will always happen. It is important to fully legalize abortion in every countries so women and girls can safely have the choice to terminate it if they wish.

Learning about it

You can find tons of useful resources about this topic online.

• Planned Parenthood is a great platform for everything related to sexuality.

• If the topic around abortion triggers your interest, I highly suggest that you read stories of women going through it, or even how life is in countries where abortion is illegal. Learning is a great way to open your mind to things you might not fully understand.

• I also recommend this beautiful movie called Vera Drake, that relates the story of a British housekeeper in 1950's who provides abortions to local women with unwanted pregnancies. When the authorities learn of her illegal activities, Vera Drake loses the admiration of many around her and possibly her freedom.

Juliette and I never had to face that choice and if one day we do, we are lucky to live in a country where we can choose. Today this blog is for those around the world who don't have the privilege to decide for themselves ❤️

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Back to school: How to keep a positive body-image and stay sane

We are only a few days away from September, also known as the “back to school/get shit done”. For many of us, this is when we feel the shift for a new year. We are going back to to-do lists, productivity boost and even some resolutions so we can ace everything.

Don't get us wrong, we LOVE all of the above. It feels new & fresh. But it is very much mind-oriented and boom, just like that, we forget above all the love and work we have put into on our body-image until we wake up feeling crappy about it.

How can you keep building or maintaining your good-body image when you are about to shift your focus & all the fall treats are just around the corner?

Before you keep going, if you struggle with your body-image, you may want to check those other posts out:

- 📖 You deserve to love your body (again!)

- 📖 What to do when your body-image is down the drain.

Alright, let's dive in! Here are 5 tips for you to keep giving some loving to your hot’bod’ and stay sane!

Enjoy the damn treats.

Life is short and it is definitely not made to go on a drastic diet every chance you get. After summer, especially if you feel like you “let yourself go”, you may feel some anxiety now that the summer bubble has burst. If you feel the need to re-balance, sure, but don't stop yourself from enjoying all the beautiful treats that come with fall. Enjoy your Pumpkin whatever with a smile!

Remind yourself that you don't have to change anything if you don't want to.

It is so easy to fall into setting crazy expectations for yourself in this kind of back-to-school energy. Everything is a question of balance: you can ride that wave and create new little habits here and there if you feel the need to, but we are personally not on the team of “let's change everything because that way, I will be smarter, stronger, wonderwoman.”

Don’t create pressure on yourself or add extra weight on your shoulders. Think slowly, but steadily, just like the Tortoise! 🐢

Don't hide behind layers

You didn't gather the courage to wear all your summery outfits to go back to using clothes for hiding rather than for pleasure! Keep wearing whatever outfits make you feel amazing, especially because Fall fashion is lovely and then we all turn into puffy Barbapapas in winter.

Try something new (like -ahem- a boudoir shoot!)

Instead of thinking “I'm gonna become the most organized person ever”, how about “I should try something I've always wanted to do!” ?

Of course, we suggest trying a boudoir session, you know, before the tan fades away! 😉 Not only it is a great experience that gives you a huge confidence boost, but it is also one of the best ways to appreciate your body! If you are intrigued but unsure what to expect, you can have a look here or sign up for our newsletter below!

Create or maintain your self-care routines

Take advantage of this back-to-school energy to either:
– Create a new self-care routine that works for you, or;
- Make sure to keep a close look on the one you already have!

Summer is synonym of relaxing time for most of us. We're not afraid to spend extra time to take care of ourselves. Good news: it doesn't have to stop! Even if you can't sunbathe under the sun anymore, who says you can't replace it with something equally enjoyable?

Keep taking breaks, spend some “doing nothing” time, hell, schedule a massage for next week or something!

There you have it, you are now ready to keep your body-image on the positive side while kicking some butts! Now, go take care of yourself.

Keep in touch with us and get more some tips to rock your body & exclusive deals! ⬇️

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Everything you need to know before doing a boudoir shoot

Is doing a boudoir shoot tickling your fancy? We don’t blame you, it’s an awesome experience, and yes, you should try it! Before you hop on this wonderful adventure, allow us to share with you some good pointers (and likely remove any concerns!)

1) Always, always, always safety first!!

We can't stress this enough: do not find your boudoir photographer on Craiglist or Kijiji. Don’t even try, it is never a good idea. Always go with professionals who have a clean website, reviews, and social media. We have already gathered some very helfpul tips regarding your safety here, feel free to give it a look!

2) That boudoir shoot should be for you first

We are going to be very honest with you, doing a boudoir shoot only for your partner isn't a good idea. Of course it can be a great bonus and they usually love to see the result, but the core reason should be around YOU (especially if it is your first shoot ever).

Boudoir photography is a very empowering journey and makes you feel like you will conquer the world (once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else can stop you 😉), but it is not the most easy experience. For most people it is a huge step out of their comfort zone, which can make them feel vulnerable.

On top of that, boudoir pushes you to see your body through someone's else “eye”, there is a big part of letting go of control.

When you do something for someone else, you hope that person will love the outcome. So instead of focusing on you and enjoying the process, you will end up stressing out because of someone's else approval (and that is not the goal of boudoir photography!). Boudoir photography is all about growing confidence, getting some me-time, and the benefits of doing something empowering.

It is also important to know WHY you want to do it. If you are unclear about why you are even here in the first place, chances are you won't be able to fully enjoy the experience, which could lead to disappointment. You don't need to have a clear vision of what you want or set ideas (we actually love when our clients go with our flow as photographers), but you need to know why you are doing it: what are your expectations, how do you want to feel after your shoot…

3) You do not need to know how to pose

Do you have to be a professional model to do a boudoir shoot? Absolutely not!

You don't even need to have any experience in posing. This is our job as photographers to guide you and pose you accordingly to your body type and the vibe you want your pictures to have. You can experiment at home if you wish, to see what angles you like best around your pretty face and body (we created a complete boudoir guide if you want to learn to take your own pictures at home), or you can just improvise the day of your shoot if you feel like it. But you should not be left alone in front of the camera without any directions.

THE GOAL FOR YOU IS TO BE ABLE TO ENJOY THE SHOOT FREELY, AND NOT BE STUCK IN YOUR HEAD WONDERING IF THE POSE YOU HAD TO COME UP WITH ON THE SPOT LOOKS GOOD.

4) You don't need to wear the classic lingerie set

Every outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, no exception. You just have to remove some layers to show some skin and boom, done. You don't have to fall into the traditional lingerie outfits if it is not your jam.

PICK YOUR OUTFITS AROUND HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL RATHER THAN LOOK.

Rock a blazer with heels if it makes you feel confident, hop in a loose sweater and cute panties if it makes you feel feminine. Get creative, experiment, get those outfits you bought many moons ago and never wore (you know those pieces in your closet such as jewelry, shoes, or clothes, you never dare to wear because they are too fancy, colourful, shiny…). You need to look like you on your images, not like you are wearing a disguise.

(By the way, our online guide as a great styling video giving you tons of examples and you can get its costs credited towards a session!)

5) Nudity is not mandatory

Do you have to show some skin for a boudoir shoot? Yes, it's not a headshot session. But that doesn’t mean you have to show suggested, partial or full nudity if you don’t want to. If you want to stick to badass outfits, then great! If you feel like trying some sort of nudity, go for it, it’s such a powerful feeling.

IT IS YOUR DECISION TO MAKE, FROM BEGINNING TO END.

But it is not a decision you have to take in advance. To let you in on a little secret, a lot of our clients don’t actually know if they want to try nude photos or not, and that’s absolutely okay. You can totally decide the day of the session and see how you feel.

6) The getting ready part of the shoot is so exciting

Putting your outfits together, thinking about your looks, creating a Pinterest board with poses and anything that catches your eyes, prepping your hair & makeup… All of these are SO much fun to do!

Grabbing last minute outfits and props right before leaving for your session is not a good idea. We suggest to take some time getting ready for your shoot. Dray-dreaming about the all experience is part of the journey and a great way to build up excitement!

7) Last but certainly not least: a studio should not force you to share your images online

If you are paying for a custom shoot and there is a clause in your contract stating that the studio will own the rights to your images (basically they can use your images wherever you want), don’t sign it if you want to keep your pictures private.

We believe privacy should be respected and we understand that not everyone are ok to share their pictures online. This is why we have release options available, so you can pick the option that works the best for you.

OF COURSE WE LOVE SHARING OUR WORK, THAT’S HOW OUR COMPANY GROWS, BUT TECHNICALLY, IT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM. IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO KEEP YOUR IMAGES PRIVATE IF YOU WANT TO.

You are also allowed to change your mind. If you do so, have it in writing somewhere, for both parties, so there won’t be any risk of miscommunications.

WE HOPE THIS WAS A HELPFUL MINI-GUIDE OF BEFORE BOKING A BOUDOIR SHOOT! BEING AWARE OF ALL OF THE ABOVE WILL DEFINITELY GIVE YOU THE CHANCE TO MAKE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR BOUDOIR EXPERIENCE.

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What to do when your body-image is down the drain.

We all have some days when we catch our reflection in the mirror and poof, a dark thought such as “ugh, I look terrible” just pops up. It makes us feel crappy, it can last for a few days, it can seem to appear out of nowhere and can be caused by thousands of factors who have nothing to do with any changes with your body.

We have discussed many times how you can deal with your body insecurities as well as why you deserve to love your body again, and today, we will targeting the off days when your body-image takes a turn on the negative side without any particular reasons.

What can you actually do when your body-image is not just doing it for you?

1) Wear a badass outfit and get dolled up.

You may be tempted to hide under sweatpants and greasy hair, but this is not the time for this. Bring some pampering back in the picture with a face or hair mask, a haircut, or even a massage and beat the negativity to the punch by wearing an outfit that you KNOW you look and feel great in.

If you avoid said outfits, you will only be feeding the beast and invite your temporary poor body-image to stick around longer.

We are not gonna let this win now, are we?!

2) Don't scrutinize your reflection in the mirror

When sh*t hits the fan and we feel like everything is wrong with our appearance, many of us (us included) have the tendency to just stare at it. Why? To make this uncomfortable feeling last longer? To make it grow? To teach ourselves some sort of lesson? You are a smart person, you don’t need to live pain twice to understand something, especially when you know this particular feeling can just be caused by something as simple as a hormonal fluctuation.

In those moments, it is much better to just acknowledge your reflection and tell yourself will come back to it once the crappy feeling fades.

And it will fade. On that note…

3) Remind yourself this feeling in temporary

Emotions and feelings come and go, sometimes with nothing else but time. You could wake up tomorrow and feel totally fine, so don’t sweat it, don't try to “fix” anything because there is nothing wrong with you to begin with. Ride the wave as peacefully as you can.

4) Distract yourself

This is also a great way to ride said wave. We are not talking about burrying yourself in work here, but more about bringing some fun back. Surround yourself with people you love, sign up for something that will bring a smile on your face, go get an awesome book to dive into, anything that can just bring a bit of butterflies in your tummy.

This will help you to keep things in proportion and bring back positivity from other sources.

Positivity spreads on everything, you will see very quickly that it will also fight this crappy body-image too, even if it is not directly related to it.

5) Avoid social media accounts that you know will make you compare yourself.

Your current body-image is not accurate at the moment. And constantly seeing people and bodies that you wish you could have is only going to make you compare yourself on the negative side. Once again, don't feed the beast!

6) BONUS: Film yourself for after the wave.

Have you ever looked at past photos of yourself and thought “wow, I thought I was so much fatter, skinnier, worse looking that I actually was, this is crazy!”.

A couple of weeks ago, I was down the rabbit hole of shitty body-image. I had a beach trip coming up and wearing my bathing suit made me very anxious, despite the fact that I had proudly bought it a couple of years before because it made me feel amazing afterhating bathing suits with my entire being for so long.

I had put on a bit of weight in the past year, and didn't feel good enough to wear it this time.

It made me so sad, as if I was undoing all the hard work I had done.

Said video for you my friends

But instead of giving in to this negativity, I tried my best to stay objective and I applied all of the advice above. After all, even if I did put on weight, I am not unhealthy, and secondly: I am sure I am making it much worse in my head that it actually is, like I have many times in the past. So I wore the damn bathing suit and I decided to film myself.

Can you guess what happened?

I look at this video now, and yes, I was seeing my body a lot worse than it actually was.

Point proven. This is going to be a new habit for me for next time, until my brain registers that yes, my body-image can be extremely inaccurate and so can yours.

You are now ready to face your next wave of negative body-image with flying colours. Remember to give yourself a break, patience and extra loving during those times. Even if we don’t like them very much, they are perfectly normal and useful to show what points that you can work on.

Like what you just read?

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The power of femininity

We live in a masculine world, where femininity is often seen as a weakness. We focus on goals, the future, security, and protection, when we should also live more in the moment (which is one of the feminine traits).

But femininity is powerful, when you dig into it you become more aware of your emotions, your body, and the world around you. It also makes it easier to connect with others and create more meaningful relationships.

Femininity VS Masculinity

First, let see the basics to understand the differences between masculine traits and feminine ones:

• Masculinity is more about drive, focus, assertiveness, and confidence.

• Femininity is more about empathy, connection, caring, and nurturing others. It is also being in touch with our emotions, which in society eyes makes feminine people “too sensitive” (which is in common beliefs a sign of weakness 😡).

Traditional Gender Stereotypes

It is getting a tad better now, but we still live in a society where our gender at birth determines which of those two traits we should have: if you are born as a female you should be feminine, and if you are born as a male you should be masculine, period.

This, combine with the description of those traits above, created stereotypes such as boys should always be strong, brave, and should show no signs of weakness. While girls should always take care of others first, and are expected to be fragile creatures who need protection.

But masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with genders as we ALL have both within us. It is a question of balance, like the yin and yang, salt and pepper, wine and cheese… The two go hand in hand!

Even though there is usually a dominant one, embracing both femininity and masculinity is absolutely possible. THERE ARE NO RULES! You can even switch which one is on top depending of a situation, your mood, people you are with…

Nasty Clichés Around Femininity

If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to destroy common false beliefs. So today we want to demystify some clichés around femininity. Why? Because clichés stop people from personal growth. Following false common beliefs is the best way to stay stagnant in life, but since you are reading this, it is probably because you want to thrive instead right? 💪

Here are some of those nasty clichés (we had to make a Tiktok out of it!):

If you cannot watch it, here are the most common ones:

• You have to be girly to be feminine. FALSE!

  Femininity is an attitude, not a look.

• Being feminine = being weak. FALSE!

  You can be feminine and move freaking mountains.

• You cannot be feminine and masculine. FALSE!

  We all have a masculine and feminine side, we are just not used to show both.

• If you are feminine, you won't be taken seriously. FALSE!

  Being feminine doesn't undermine your skills.

Femininity is a way of being, you decide how to implement it in your life. And it is the same for masculinity.

To conclude: as usual you do you! Doesn't matter your gender, if you feel like being masculine on Mondays and feminine on Thursdays, then do it. Times are evolving, and we finally have the experience and knowledge to change those beliefs. We might as well start now!

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