Letter to my 17 year-old self

Dear 17-year-old Juliette,

You know, there is this trendy exercise I have seen around lately, in which you are writing to your 10 years younger self. People warn their younger selves, they tell them what they could have done and what they should have avoided, so they can have an easier present.

Are there stuff we should have done back then? Absolutely.

Maybe you can let go a bit more and stop worrying about other people's opinions and expectations.

Maybe you can speak louder and send those nasty guys packing when they harrass you in the street, making you feel so small and so uncomfortable.

Maybe you can learn to appreciate the way you look instead of comparing yourself and fighting so hard to hide what you think are flaws. Like this big chunk of side bangs you’re desperately trying to hide behind for some reason. Dad used to say “You have 2 eyes, why can't I see both of them?” and I know you scoff at it. Fact though: he's right.

Maybe you can start trusting people instead of taking over everything and everyone. Maybe you will be disappointed like you are convinced you will be, but maybe not.

But honestly, I am glad you didn't do any of these things. Because thanks to those, you went through experiences and learnt the lessons included in the package.

Because thanks to you, I can do all of the above now, confidently and I am spreading the good vibes around me.

So instead of those “maybes", I want to say thank you .

Thank you for being the stubborn woman you already are. I wouldn't have pursuing my dream career without it. (Seriously girlfriend, we've been photographers for over 12 years now! Can you believe it?!)

Thank you for being open-minded and curious. Without you, I wouldn't have learned english and been able to speak it every day almost flawlessly.

Thank you for not being scared to see big. Otherwise we would have stayed in France where we felt “meh” and settle for a boring life instead of changing country twice, open a successful business and then meet the love of our life. (he's really cool and also really handsome. Freaking jackpot, let me tell you.)

Thank you for trying to deal with that body of yours. Because at some point, I said f*ck it and decided to take the self-love route. If you hadn’t gone throught those troubles, we wouldn't have been able to help other people with the same struggles through our work!

At the end of the day, Juliette, I wouldn't be here if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for paving this road for me. I can't wait to see what 10-year older Juliette will have to say about the one I am paving now. I'm sure we will make her proud too.

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I strongly encourage you guys to try this little exercise of introspection. We can’t tell you enough that self-love is your tool to nurture as much as you can, in order to be happy on the long-run. Feel free to tag us if you share yours in a post! Lots of love. J & F.

Don't get stuck in your routine

Let me tell you a little story Scandals…

This year I wanted to improve my sensuality and build up my energy level by adding more movement into my workout. So I decided to try something that makes me really uncomfortable: DANCING. I am not talking about going to a club with my friends or dancing in front of strangers (I am always happy to dance in a silly way in front of people). I am talking about signing up for dance classes, where you have to learn a choreography. I am one of those people who sucks at dancing: no coordination whatsoever in my steps and always starting with the wrong foot. It makes me feel so self-conscious and ridiculous, get easily frustrated and usually end up by giving up after the first class. But not this time. I am stepping out of my comfort zone even tho it does not feel good yet!

Now, you might be thinking: “Why someone would push her/himself to do something that makes them feel really uncomfortable?” Well, let's see…

What is a comfort zone and why is it difficult to get out of it?

It is simply a behavioral state in which things feel familiar to a person, where their activities, habits and actions fit a routine and pattern that minimize stress and risk. They are at ease and in control of their environment. It provides them a state of mental security they benefit in certain ways: regular happiness, low anxiety, and reduced stress.

Because of bad experiences from our past or external influences (such as medias or loved ones), our mind is conditioned to be afraid of the unknown. The fear that is created from our lack of experience in certain field of life acts as a stop sign, a wall we put between us and our goals. We put ourselves in a protective mode and even tho our comfort zone feels like a little heaven for a short period of time, it can become a trap on the long run.

Why is it important to check your routine off?

Not a lot of people like to take risks or be uncomfortable. Instead we have the tendency to stay in our warm and safe bubble, away from all of the possibilities the world has to offer. We get stuck in a routine without realizing it is slowing us down from improving ourselves and moving forward in life.

Of course, we are not telling you to completely change your life or to take stupid risks. But it is important, from time to time, to get out of your comfort zone and experience life in a different way. It will creates enough positive stress to increase your curiosity and drive, will help you to respond positively to stress when unexpected events happen.

How to get out your comfort zone?

• SWITCH UP YOUR ROUTINE.

There is no reason to put too much pressure on yourself and take the risk to feel overwhelmed. Start with simple steps like: trying a new coffee shop, walking a new road to work, waking up earlier everyday… Those simple actions are the best way to slowly help you and motivate you to put one foot out of your comfort zone.

• GIVE UP CONTROL.

Let go of your insecurities by learning to trust people around you. Agree to things you wouldn’t normally consider and open your mind: we think we know better but it is just a question of perspectives.

• TRY SOMETHING NEW UNTIL YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE.

Start conversations with strangers, give compliments, learn a new skill… Most of the thing that makes us feel uncomfortable are usually the ones we are not really good at it, so whatever you choose, do not give up. Practice makes it perfect!

• MOVE TOWARD YOUR FEARS.

That is the toughest but most efficient one because it pushes you to work deeper on yourself. The feeling of fear is vital in some circumstances for our survival but it can also be irrational. When you feel afraid of something, it is usually a sign you have to fight it in order to expand your life and not miss any opportunity. Start by understanding the root of your fear than you will be able to confront it.

What do you do to get out of your comfort zone?

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PROFESSIONAL LIFE 101 | 6 tips to create an amazing collaboration

Have you ever tried to organize a party, a dinner and people rsvp'd last minute or even not at all ? You pour your heart and soul into the planning but can’t organize it because you don’t know how many people are coming? This is just one of the many examples of massive frustration. But we have a solution for you.

First of all I want to thanks those fantastic people who have worked with us and helped to achieve amazing partnerships. Thank you guys for your hard work and professionalism, You ROCK.

Sadly, this professionalism is actually quite hard to find. And it stops you from A: creating that awesome project you have in mind and B: having a solid team of people to do it.

Let's review the most common issues:

• People disappear from the face of the Earth (while updating their instagram feed)

• People reschedule all the time. (while sharing that awesome cat video on facebook)

• People cancel last minute. Like when you're already there. (With a snap like "HANGING OUT WITH BAE LOL")

Conclusion: everything ends up sucking. Hard core.

I feel like some people don’t understand the challenge behind a “simple collaboration”. They don’t take it seriously or maybe they don’t even care and don't get me started on the unpaid side of things we deal with sometimes.

Whether you are one of these people or not, we have put together a list of advice you can apply to your daily life, here, take it, it's free and you will make friends.

HERE ARE 6 TIPS TO CREATE AWESOME COLLABORATIONS :

• it all started with... a great communication

Let's face it, being honest all day everyday is not in the human nature and can even be hurtful if you don’t use the good words. 

Don't worry though, for professional collaborations, it is actually not that hard. If you want your project to work, you need to know not only your expectations but also your team's. Honesty and communication from the very beginning will build the game plan. And if you have a solid game plan, you are very likely to get outstanding results.

Pro tip: Since we don’t know intimately the people we are gonna work with, it gives us a chance to stay objective and put our ego aside, yay!

• Don’t be afraid to say “NO” if you can’t do a project.

Apparently in this case, your team members gets a higher chance to get abducted by aliens before (or even in the middle sometimes) of the project you're working on. Joke aside, it's okay to be busy. If you already know you can't make it, just say no. Promise no one will hate you, we might actually respect you more and thus we will still share cookies with you.

When we work on a collaboration.

• AN EXCELLENT ORGANIZATION is a must

If communication is the pillar in a project, organization is the white picket fence around it. The two basic skills are the following:

 1) Plan your trip in advance: Check how long it takes to go to the location, find if there are constructions on subway lines or roads, leave earlier than what GOOGLE or the GPS says. If you drive, be careful with rush hour time.

2) Come ready: Write a list (I have never been a big fan of lists but I found them very helpful, especially when I have a lot on my mind) and make sure you have everything you need before leaving.

• BE PROFESSIONAL (DUH). Even when no money is involved.

I care a lot about this point. I was telling you earlier that it’s hard to find people acting professionnal for unpaid projects. As photographers, we have worked for free a lot and we still do sometimes.  People have the feeling that if they don’t make money for their services when they do a project, there is no need to put effort on it. Wrong !!! If you chose to get on board for a collab for whatever reason, honor it. "Not Paid" doesn’t mean "Not Serious".

• BE INVOLVED. It's more fun and we ain't your mama.

Just because you didn’t start this collaboration doesn't mean you can’t be fully into it. Bring your ideas with you, new suggestions are always welcome.

Another good way to have fun in a project which is not yours, is to take initiatives. Talk to people, create contacts, ask if you can help with anything. When it’s your turn, don’t hesitate to give direction, you know what you have to do, you know your craft.

• LAST MINUTE CANCELLATION will result in a bloody nose.

Ahhh the famous last minute cancellation, a tricky subject! Life is full of surprises and sometimes, we have to deal with a change of plans. If for whatever reason you can'tmake it anymore (and it is actually a legit reason, not a "I didn't wake up this morning y'all"), don't forget other people are counting on you (looking straight at that hairstylist that didn't show up for our latest styled shoot.)

Here is what to do: either contact the project planner to advise him/her on your cancellation as soon as you know. It helps to deal with the damage control that follows.

Second, if unfortunately you have no other alternative than not showing up the day of the project, be a grown-up and find someone to replace you.

Now, you should be ready to fly from the nest, keep your pretty nose, and make new friends to create some new awesome projects. You're welcome.

are YOU coming to The Scandaleuse Soirée?

We are launching our first soirée ever on November 13th for a new service we are launching. Come party with us!

Our new concept

Since day 1, we have always said that Scandaleuse was not about just beautiful photographs. A lot of you have experienced it since we first opened in 2015. We are now taking one more step to bring it out even more.

Scandaleuse is growing and changing, and we couldn't be happier.

Join us on November 13th to celebrate and find out what we have been working on for all these months…

Don't Change My Body.

Boudoir photography is the one kind that automatically must involve tons of editing. It should make sense: we are capturing such intimate photos, in a society where Photoshop is the norm and filters are a go-to before posting anything online. 

You should have a six-pack. But with curves if you are a woman. You can't be too fat or too skinny. Boobs are a must. Your butt is not big enough. Since the beginning of time, we have been dictated what looks "good". It has an impact on all of us. Some follow, some proudly say they don't. Apps are created to change your body with the tip of your fingers. It's in our everyday life.

If you remember well, we briefly mentioned in our boudoir approach article that we opened Scandaleuse also to fight against beauty standards and body-shaming. No one should have to suffer because the way they look. We want to show our Scandals the way they are in real life.

But we do edit them.

We see you coming: "oh my goodness how dare you?! You're like all "let's be yourself and ride a unicorn" and now you openly say you edit your clients?"
It is such a thin line between adjusting/removing a little something and changing a person during the editing process. Let's say that if people won't be able to recognize you on your pictures, whatever you are thinking of editing shouldn't be tweaked.

Our editing motto: "We take out what's temporary".

Now what does this means? Everything that you weren't born with, that's gonna fade over time, or that is caused by a specific pose, can be edited out, unless said otherwise.

Are you going to keep your pimples, bruises or uneven makeup? Nope.
A pose you like involved putting your arm super close to your chest, hence making it bigger than in real life? We can adjust it. It's not the way your arm look normally.
Your underwear was a little low on your waist, causing an imaginary roll? That's out too.
Our lighting is intensifying cellulite that you wouldn't really see in real life? We smoothen it.

There are things that we remove in case the client asks.

Again, you cannot come to us asking to make you thinner/curvier. If this is what you are looking for, we are not the girls for you. We are not plastic surgeons and don't intend to be.

However, if for example you have some stretch marks from after your pregnancy that's really making you feel like crap, we can smoothen them. 

Scars are a slightly different story. A lot of people, myself included, consider scars being a part of yourself. Our models have some. Some are very dominant, some aren't. No one has ever asked to have them removed in post for now. Would we do it if we were asked? Of course.

So yes, we do edit our clients. Just not in the way you would think. We have had to refuse inquiries in the past from people who were not really looking for pictures of themselves, but of someone they hope they could be. There is nothing we can do for you then, the work has to come from you first. We are here to celebrate you, not change you.

Now go hug yourself.

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Coffee Talk - Living far Away

A little bit more than 6 years ago, Juliette and I took the decision to leave France to move to another country. Canada was not the first choice but you guys know that already (if you don't, you can find the story on how we met, here for part one and here for part two). Even though living away from your home country can be difficult sometimes, it was the best decision we ever took!

Why did we decide to change country?

We both knew for a long time we will not do our life in France as it never really felt like Home. Don't get us wrong, France is a beautiful country with a rich cultural heritage and a delicious cuisine. But the mentality is not the best. It is not in our culture to be welcoming or supportive with each others, especially in the business industry or between women. There are a lot of competition and jealousy.

Since our goal was to open a photography business, we also knew how difficult it was to do it in France as there are a lot of rules to follow for administration and the market for photography is really competitive. Launching Scandaleuse in Toronto was a piece of cake!

What did we learn since we moved away?

• Living far away make you realize how much your family is important

The most difficult part is being far away from our families. We made the “selfish” choice to chase the life we want at the expense of not spending time with our loved ones and missing out precious moments. We all know the quote that says: “We don’t choose our family… blablabla” but we have the tendency to forget that family is important. It is really easy to forget because of the drama and tension present in every family… Sometimes you just need to walk away to realize how much you care and love them.

Every choices we make in life have consequences. Be aware of it but stick to your desires, trust your guts, make the choices for yourself and do not have regrets because at the end your family just wants you to be happy!

(What if they are not happy and don't understand?… Well this gives you an other good reason to be selfish)

• Living far away opens your mind

Being photographers give us the freedom to work and travel everywhere in the world. We believe travels feed your soul and warm up your heart but it is when you live in another country that your mind truly opens. You see the world with new eyes and don’t have other choice than getting out of your comfort zone if you want to adapt to that new culture. And since you are building new routines and put yourself out, you are more open to meet new people and extend your list of friends.

• It takes a lot of courage

It might not seem like it but taking the action to live in another country is BALLZY! Moving away usually means starting from zero and learning a new language, new skills and a new culture. Not everyone has the luxury or the will to start over, so If you ever did it you should be very proud of yourself. If this is on your bucket list or you get the opportunity to try this experience then don't think twice, even if it is scary. Sometimes this is the little push you need to become the best version of yourself and live the life you want.

Now go live your life, whatever that means to you. For us, it was switching countries: Is Canada our Home? Yes. Do we regrets leaving France? No. So thank you Canadians for being so welcoming and humans, you make us wanna stay here a little bit longer ❤️

How shifting your mindset can change your life

We are strong believers that a positive mindset is the key to happiness, whatever that word means to you. You might not realize it but the way you think impact any decisions you make in your life. Our fears, hopes, beliefs, any emotions we feel, positive or negative, change drastically our perspectives.

It is in the human nature to look for happiness, but we often don’t know how to reach it. This results in feeling lost or stuck in our own life. But what if we were telling you that any of us can live a successful and fulfilled life?

Would you believe us if we were to tell you that you are the only one who can decide to be happy?

Get it right from the get-go

We are not saying it is an easy process, no one have their sh*t together and we are all faking it until we make it. But all you need are the good tools and practice.

• Have goals, big or small.

Having concrete goals will give you the motivation to move forward in your future, and make you feel excited about taking decisions while pushing you to adapt your routine.

Once you've lined up these ideas, you need to learn to identify non-toxic from toxic goals. How? Ask yourself "why" you are aiming for that specific goal. Is it for yourself? Others? Is it too intense? Unachievable ? Is it compromising your health? Always remember to be your own measurement system instead of comparing yourself to others.

• Implement positive thinking and statements:

Every time you catch yourself having a negative thought, acknowledge them by asking yourself WHY you are having negative thoughts and WHERE do they come from. Then, as trivial as it may sound, smile and twist it positively instead of making yourself feel worse:

"I am stupid… NO: I am smart!”

“I hate my acne… NO: I am beautiful!"

“I cannot do it… NO: I have been through worse than that, I am strong!"

The more you start making these statements, the more you will believe and see them. This is the power of manifestation, if you repeatedly keep saying negative things then those things are what will come to light. It works the same way for positive statements.

Make it a habit while looking at yourself in the mirror (because it feels good to look at yourself right in the eyes):

I radiate beauty.  I radiate power. I radiate prosperity. I radiate love. I radiate light.

I am strong. I am confident. I will be successful.

I am beautiful. I have a great body. I love the way I look.

• Learn to not be afraid to fail:

We all failed when we were kids, from the first step we took to all of the times we fell, it was part of our learning process. So failing as an adult is just as normal.

Failure means you keep learning, experimenting, progressing towards the life you are building, so instead of feeling ashamed we have to embrace it!

Grow, unlock other possibilities and achieve more than you could think!

• Feel inspired not jealous:

Step away from negativity and jealousy by opening your mind, feeding your soul and surrounding yourself with like-minded people and people who are a few steps ahead of you too.

Keep learning, think about your goals, listen to yourself, learn to eliminate what doesn't work for you.

Just remember, you cannot compare yourself to others since you do not have the same life and aspirations.

There will always be parts of yourself that you are working on and you often think that "it will be better over there, and I will only be happy when…” but guess what?! Once you get over there, chances are you will face similar feelings of obstacles. Unless you break the cycle with everything we just told you.

Forgive yourself for making mistakes and take the pressure away by acknowledging that you are doing your best in every moment with the tools you have. That's how You will see a significant impact and change into your life.

Thank you @lianalewis and @edenalexwine for bringing your beautiful minds to this blog.

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I was consumed by an inner dialogue that incessantly told me I was a “waste of space”.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion.

We met Eden a few months ago and she was one of the first participants for this project. We are happy to let you know now that she is also about to tag along in the Scandaleuse journey, as we will be combining services very soon. Read her story below!

If I had listened, then… I wouldn’t be here today

Before I embraced myself in all of my authentic glory (weirdness, flaws, and all), I was consumed by an inner dialogue that incessantly told me I was a “waste of space”.

If I listened to this inner dialogue, then I wouldn’t be alive.

My journey towards embracing who I am is a colourful one, but its colourful spectrum is not limited to the pastels and vibrant colours of a beautiful life.

Instead, the spectrum of my life includes dark and shadowy aspects that painted my imbedded need to conform to someone proper, petite, and poised. Someone who “should” fit perfectly into a designated box.

Well, the “rule follower” in me cared what the “rules” were. The rule follower in me cared how I was being perceived by others. The rule follower in me allowed my uniqueness to be dimmed by the rigid regulations of the external reality I faced.

The attempt to conform my wild and extraordinary imagination caused me to feel weird, othered, rejected, and unlovable. My thirst for knowledge and inclination to pursue academics caused me to be made fun of and labeled as a “know it all”. The comparison of myself against bodies that were slender and airbrushed caused me to look at my body with disgust and hatred.

On an ongoing basis, I would find myself tightly constricting my stomach with a tensor bandage with the desperate need to morph my body into someone “beautiful”.

I was trying to conceal myself, which was perpetuated by a deeply ingrained desire to be someone “different”, someone “acceptable”.

It truly felt like the parts of my existence were being pulled by its threads, ripped apart, and shattered.  Looking into these tattered fragments of myself, all I could see was someone who was broken, someone who didn’t belong, and (like broken things) someone who should be tossed away.  

The journey towards the reclamation of who I am was not an easy one. My desire to ignore and disobey the toxic negativity that filled my head required me to care just enough about myself in order to step in and survive. I’ll never forget the moment that I decided not to listen, the moment I decided to survive.

One step at a time, I learned to appreciate the beauty of my uniqueness, the importance of my sentiment, and the perfection of my flaws.

I am here, having a human experience and contributing to the world in a way that no one else can because no one else is me. Step by step, moment by moment, I allowed myself to re-invigorate my imagination. Yes, I do believe in unicorns, mermaids, goodness, peace, and love. Allowing myself to indulge in the pleasures of learning new things and expanding my mind has sufficiently equipped me with a unique skillset that helps my clients do the same. Most recently (partly with the help of Scandaleuse Photography), I have decided to love my body the way it is and find beauty in the way that it twists and turns, whilst simultaneously finding deep appreciation for the adventures my body brings me on.

I am so grateful that I didn’t listen. I am so grateful because I am here shining bright like a beacon for others who feel like I once did.

Policing Black women’s hair has been a constant battle many of us have faced.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion.

If I had listened, I wouldn’t have cut my hair.

I have always played it safe.
Always.

As women, we have been conditioned to believe that long hair is a sign of our femininity. Especially as a Black woman, our hair is sacred. There are so many stories and beautiful memories we have of our individual hair journeys. Unfortunately, there are moments in our stories that aren’t pleasant.

Policing Black women’s hair has been a constant battle many of us have faced.

I remember feeling so excited to get my hair done but then secretly worrying about getting asked questions like “Is your hair real? Why do you change it so often? Can you wash it like normal hair?” Once someone told me, “you can't keep changing your hair like that. It makes you look unprofessional.”

For far too long, I listened. I played it safe. And because I was listening, I was holding myself back from being the sexiest, happiest, and most confident version of myself. 

I never cared much about Rihanna, but I loved how she rocked her hair. At one point she cut it short and I remember my eyes felt like they were falling out of my head because I SO wanted to do that. But I didn’t. Why? For starters, my mom didn’t think it was a good idea. Like I mentioned before, long hair is a sign of being a sensual woman and short hair to some means your edgy, reckless, wild, etc.

3 years later I moved out with my boyfriend. I posted a picture on Instagram of my hair pinned back and I got so many compliments. The one that stood out, encouraged me to make the biggest hair decision ever. “OMG! Did you cut your hair? It looks amazing!”

I remember that moment so clearly. I instantly started scrolling through Instagram for some hair inspiration and came across ‘The Cutlife’. I was freaking out!

I saw so many beautiful Black women with short hair. Fades, bobs, bald...these were my people! Without hesitation, I found the first stylist available and booked an appointment to cut my hair.

There was something so incredibly liberating about feeling my hair fall on my cape. I felt like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon.

Unfortunately, she totally botched it but when I did find the right stylist to fix it, I saw a woman in the mirror I fell so in love with.

My hair has become a signature component of my brand. I feel free, fun, confident, and powerful. To maintain its freshness, it must be cut every week!

If I had listened to what others had to say about women with short hair, I truly don’t believe I would be the version of myself I am today. If you’re reading this and have been debating to try a new look but question if it’s professional enough or to society’s standards, listen to me when I say FORGET WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY! DO YOU! BE YOU! AND LOVE YOU!

You’ll thank yourself later.

I was my own worst enemy until I decided to no longer be a victim

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion.

If I had listened, I wouldn’t have bloomed.

If I had listened to the voices telling me “you’re not strong enough, popular enough, skinny enough, worthy enough, relatable enough”, I wouldn’t be where I am today - powerful.

Over the past 2 years, I have struggled with depression and anxiety. I battled them until I couldn’t bare it anymore. I reached for help, went to therapy, am medicated and try my best everyday to work towards healing. It seems simple to say out loud now but the path was not easy.

I was my own worst enemy until I decided to no longer be a victim. As a victim we listen to the voices in our head that trap us, suffocate us and if we allow them, they can also drown us.

On my way out of the depths of sadness, my business has become a platform for women. A platform to allow women, like myself, to have a place to share, to know that they aren’t alone, to feel empowered and be surrounded by a safe community. For years, my business was creating and selling jewelry until I found it was no longer my passion. I found myself disconnected and that is when my success dipped. I searched for a creative muse but it just wasn’t there.

My business slowly shifted and this shift happened when I started to share my struggles. The more I dug deeper into healing, the more answers came and the more I felt connected to what I was creating - an expression of growth through a line of t-shirts. Though I do sell a physical item, it is so much more than a product - it is body positivity, a community of strong women and a place for us to heal and grow.

The hard truth is, I am MORE than enough, WE are all more than enough. I am more than a body, more than a mother, more than a wife. I am a mentor, teacher and role model. I am everything I wanted to be because I believed, because I stepped into my power and because I did not listen.

I had this constant fear preventing me from actually living. If I died tomorrow, what would be my regrets?

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read them all!

If I had listened, I would never have become the woman I am today.

I am a stubborn person who has the unfortunate habit of listening to her intuition and taking risks. That's why I decided to write three situations when I chose to listen to myself rather than follow a logical path. Those ended up being the most decisive moments in my life.

When I left the family home

I come from a family where work is more important than anything else. My mother found me my first job as a maid in a hotel at 15 years old and I stayed there for over 8 years.

All family discussions revolved around this hotel. I was so unhappy for so long, my life became more unbearable every day.

I was too afraid of my parents’ reaction if I were to leave that I had to find a way to avoid justifying myself. I had to leave my home.

I didn’t have much money or furniture other than what was in my room. In order to quickly raise funds for my project, I sold my car and shared a place with a friend. I moved out in February 1999 and in April 2000 I left my job. The year following this decision was even more difficult. I was working part-time in a clothing store, but, I was "FREE".

Free from the pressure of my parents, free from work that made me sick, but most importantly, free to do what I wanted to do and free to become everything I wanted. I never regretted this decision and my parents finally understood that I wanted other things in my life.

When I got my heart broken and lost a friend

Around the same time, I got my heart broken. I am aware now that it was mostly because of my fear, my low self-esteem and lack of experience. He didn’t only break my heart into a million pieces, but it also made me physically sick.

Fear was my biggest enemy. It prevented me from having a beautiful story to share and fulfilling this dream of having someone close to me, even for a moment.

To top it all off, I also lost a dear friend. A man who, the first night of his retirement, died of an aneurysm. He had worked all his life to support his family, whom he didn’t see very often because he was so dedicated to his job. The days before his death, he told me how eager he was to rest, to "cut wood" at his cottage, take time for his family, and so on. He didn’t even have the chance to live one of those moments because he died just before. It was a wake-up call.

I was Working non-stop, doing exactly what was expected of me and I had this constant fear preventing me from actually living. If I died tomorrow, what would be my regrets?

I had way too many dreams to be yet fulfilled so I decided to take care of myself. I moved alone in my own apartment and I found a job that would allow me to achieve two of my three greatest dreams, sing and travel.

The third, finding my life partner is still a dream. The lifestyle choices I made so far haven't led me there yet, I hope to get there someday.

When I Left my roots, my family and my friends.

In my mid-30s, I felt like I was going around in circles. Even though I had been told that I had everything I needed to be happy, I felt the thirst for life

The anger that often gave me the boost I needed to move forward was getting stronger on a daily basis. It was time to make a decision and I decided to leave everything behind.

I left my family, my friends and my job aka financial safety net, just because I needed to see what was on the other side of the fence. It was tough, especially on the social aspect: at 35, you can’t create a social network as easily as in your 20's but, I didn’t give up and worked hard to build a life for myself. It's been 8 years since I left my roots and I have never regretted it.

Life challenges us every day but I like to create mine. It's weird isn’t it? It’s as if the events of everyday life were not enough for me.

People often think and plan their major life events such as their wedding or the birth of their child with a good idea of ​​what they want. Me, I only know two things. The song at my funeral is going to be Franck Sinatra's "My Way" and my funeral epitaph will look like "Thanks my God, it's finally over, thank you for not waking me up."

We don't have a studio.

We have several.

You would think that, when you are a boudoir photographer (or any portrait photographer), there is one thing you would need to establish yourself: a studio. Well Scandals, there is something you need to know about us (drumroll please): we don't have a studio. We actually have about 10 of them.

Because, yes, my butt is comfortably sitting on my office chair in my apartment as we speak, on a Wednesday afternoon. Don't get me wrong, we did think about getting a studio, and to be honest, it is the ultimate goal when we find the perfect spot that would not ask for 5 kidneys as a down payment (welcome to Toronto baby!). But for now, we decided to focus on something much more important to us: how to make your boudoir experience different from everyone else's.

Your boudoir session is about you (yes mam!)

This is the core of our business. We were soooo tired of seeing the same kind of boudoir photos non-stop online when we knew we can do so much more. Not all of you belong in those cutesy bed shots. If you are a Scandal like us, you can also belong on a rooftop during a busy night, overlooking the CN tower, or right in the middle of the woods in the early morning light with the sun kissing your skin.

Obviously, we can't only shoot outdoors. But instead of dealing with the same background over and over again, we decided to go the extra mile and make a list of awesome locations all around the city with complete different decor. You are a minimalist with scandinavian vibe? Boom, meet our all white modern loft just for you. You thrive through your rock'n'roll looks? Warmer and darker tones will likely suit you better.

Does it take time and patience? Ooooooh yes. Finding the good spots, visiting them, figuring out the fees involved with each, dealing with the landlords and availability… Trust me, it makes us sweat. But at the end of the day, we are here to build an experience around you.

We are artists (no joke.)

Like many creative people, we need to renew ourselves all the time. Otherwise, we get bored and it kills our souls bit by bit. Seriously, put a good photographer is the same room for every single shoot and by the 5th one, she/he will be crawling on the floor asking for mercy. Having multiple options keeps us passionate and creative. And if we stay passionate and creative, you get an awesome shoot. Two birds one stone.

And who wouldn't want to change her/his office on a daily basis? We have seen so many amazing places that belong on a Pinterest board and we are over the moon to be able to bring them to you.

We are not doing boudoir just so you feel good for one day. We are doing it so it impacts you, gives you a warm fuzzy feeling when you think about it and so you remember it for the rest of your life.

Now... what are you waiting for?

I am my biggest cheerleader but I am also my worst enemy.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read the first post here

If I had listened I wouldn’t have been able to find happiness and confidence within myself to truly love who I am.

I am my biggest cheerleader but I am also my worst enemy.

There are so many factors in society that contribute to my marginalization. I am a woman, I am from Jamaica, I am of mixed race.

Throughout my life, I have faced discrimination for all the above characteristics, all of which have thrown me off kilter, beat down my confidence, made me questions my identity and made me seriously doubt who I am.

I had times that were so dark and lonely that, unfortunately, only my damaged mind and broken heart were there to keep me company.

It wasn’t until I was able to work on myself, with help, that I was able to realize that it was the constant negative self-talk festering in my mind that was making me crumble into nothingness.

It took a really long time for me to accept that I had the power to be my biggest fan even if I were being my biggest roadblock.

I used to resent the people closest to me for not meeting my expectations and not being there to save me from my mind. But choosing to be in charge of my own outcomes and happiness as opposed to relying on others was the biggest contributing factor to reaching the self-acceptance and happiness that I am working towards today.

I know that I will always be a work in progress and I totally accept that. However, I have now found beauty in my flaws and in my growth. I have stopped listening to the side of myself that constantly wants to hold me back from evolving as the beautiful human I am and I now place the ride or die version of Nathanielle at the forefront.