I had this constant fear preventing me from actually living. If I died tomorrow, what would be my regrets?

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read them all!

If I had listened, I would never have become the woman I am today.

I am a stubborn person who has the unfortunate habit of listening to her intuition and taking risks. That's why I decided to write three situations when I chose to listen to myself rather than follow a logical path. Those ended up being the most decisive moments in my life.

When I left the family home

I come from a family where work is more important than anything else. My mother found me my first job as a maid in a hotel at 15 years old and I stayed there for over 8 years.

All family discussions revolved around this hotel. I was so unhappy for so long, my life became more unbearable every day.

I was too afraid of my parents’ reaction if I were to leave that I had to find a way to avoid justifying myself. I had to leave my home.

I didn’t have much money or furniture other than what was in my room. In order to quickly raise funds for my project, I sold my car and shared a place with a friend. I moved out in February 1999 and in April 2000 I left my job. The year following this decision was even more difficult. I was working part-time in a clothing store, but, I was "FREE".

Free from the pressure of my parents, free from work that made me sick, but most importantly, free to do what I wanted to do and free to become everything I wanted. I never regretted this decision and my parents finally understood that I wanted other things in my life.

When I got my heart broken and lost a friend

Around the same time, I got my heart broken. I am aware now that it was mostly because of my fear, my low self-esteem and lack of experience. He didn’t only break my heart into a million pieces, but it also made me physically sick.

Fear was my biggest enemy. It prevented me from having a beautiful story to share and fulfilling this dream of having someone close to me, even for a moment.

To top it all off, I also lost a dear friend. A man who, the first night of his retirement, died of an aneurysm. He had worked all his life to support his family, whom he didn’t see very often because he was so dedicated to his job. The days before his death, he told me how eager he was to rest, to "cut wood" at his cottage, take time for his family, and so on. He didn’t even have the chance to live one of those moments because he died just before. It was a wake-up call.

I was Working non-stop, doing exactly what was expected of me and I had this constant fear preventing me from actually living. If I died tomorrow, what would be my regrets?

I had way too many dreams to be yet fulfilled so I decided to take care of myself. I moved alone in my own apartment and I found a job that would allow me to achieve two of my three greatest dreams, sing and travel.

The third, finding my life partner is still a dream. The lifestyle choices I made so far haven't led me there yet, I hope to get there someday.

When I Left my roots, my family and my friends.

In my mid-30s, I felt like I was going around in circles. Even though I had been told that I had everything I needed to be happy, I felt the thirst for life

The anger that often gave me the boost I needed to move forward was getting stronger on a daily basis. It was time to make a decision and I decided to leave everything behind.

I left my family, my friends and my job aka financial safety net, just because I needed to see what was on the other side of the fence. It was tough, especially on the social aspect: at 35, you can’t create a social network as easily as in your 20's but, I didn’t give up and worked hard to build a life for myself. It's been 8 years since I left my roots and I have never regretted it.

Life challenges us every day but I like to create mine. It's weird isn’t it? It’s as if the events of everyday life were not enough for me.

People often think and plan their major life events such as their wedding or the birth of their child with a good idea of ​​what they want. Me, I only know two things. The song at my funeral is going to be Franck Sinatra's "My Way" and my funeral epitaph will look like "Thanks my God, it's finally over, thank you for not waking me up."

I am my biggest cheerleader but I am also my worst enemy.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read the first post here

If I had listened I wouldn’t have been able to find happiness and confidence within myself to truly love who I am.

I am my biggest cheerleader but I am also my worst enemy.

There are so many factors in society that contribute to my marginalization. I am a woman, I am from Jamaica, I am of mixed race.

Throughout my life, I have faced discrimination for all the above characteristics, all of which have thrown me off kilter, beat down my confidence, made me questions my identity and made me seriously doubt who I am.

I had times that were so dark and lonely that, unfortunately, only my damaged mind and broken heart were there to keep me company.

It wasn’t until I was able to work on myself, with help, that I was able to realize that it was the constant negative self-talk festering in my mind that was making me crumble into nothingness.

It took a really long time for me to accept that I had the power to be my biggest fan even if I were being my biggest roadblock.

I used to resent the people closest to me for not meeting my expectations and not being there to save me from my mind. But choosing to be in charge of my own outcomes and happiness as opposed to relying on others was the biggest contributing factor to reaching the self-acceptance and happiness that I am working towards today.

I know that I will always be a work in progress and I totally accept that. However, I have now found beauty in my flaws and in my growth. I have stopped listening to the side of myself that constantly wants to hold me back from evolving as the beautiful human I am and I now place the ride or die version of Nathanielle at the forefront.

5 Things you can do to be more French

It’s Bastille day aka the Revolution day in France! Everyone is off work to go celebrate around fireworks, good food and good company. As you probably know already, we are both French from Paris (hi to our cousins for Québec!) and to celebrate our national holiday, we thought you could join us by developing a new French twist!

Practice saying “APEROOOO!"

On a beautiful summer (or not) nights,it is not rare that we gather with our family and friends around some drinks and hors d’œuvres (this is how you spell it by the way) for a couple of hours before dinner. We called them “Apéro” and they are always filled with laughter and good vibes. It's about damn time we incorporate more of these in Canada!

Master the art of sarcasm

Not to brag, but we are pretty good at sarcasm and it makes us laugh a lot. It's also a powerful tool for a passive-aggressive comment you need to tell your foreign Aunt Jemma who asked to put sparkling water in her white wine. (don't do that.)

Ditch your top on the beach, it's summer.

Let your nipples see the world and enjoy the warmth of the sun.

After you put some serious sunscreen on them though, you only have two, you gotta cherish them. It's such a great feeling to swim (almost or totally) naked. Remember?

Don't “pardon your French”

It's very freeing to swear here and there.

Really, try it. I mean, don't do it in front of your 6-year old nephew, pick your audience, but still. Don't bottle up those feelings that want to make you swear, embrace and express the, you’ll feel much better!

Start thinking that you know slightly better than everybody else.

Because… don’t you?! Yeah that's what we thought.

Now, you are all set to grab your glass of wine - the real glass please, put down that plastic cup - put your brie on the barbecue and dance on this! You're welcome!

Looking for happiness? Start with self-confidence

You guys, it's summer. The beautiful weather is finally here to lift our spirits. Everything has a gold filter on and yet, you can't seem to fully enjoy it. It happens, you just spent months in the cold hibernating.

It is time to shed your dreary skin and embrace your brand new one full of colorful ideas and accomplishments. The good news? You already have all the tools in you.

Aim for long-term happiness

In case you didn't know, the true form of happiness isn't in the things you own. Maybe you will get those butterflies in your stomach because you just bought that pair of shoes, but it will only last for a couple of hours at the most. The real happiness is something that grows over time, to stick around for your entire life. It’s waking up with a soft and light feeling, and start your day with a smile on your face. And this requires constant work. If you don’t know where to start, we have some tips for you.

Cultivate self-love

If you want to reach happiness, you have to treat yourself like you would do for your best-friend. Be grateful for everything you are and everything you already have instead of focusing on what you think you lack.

Don't talk down or belittle yourself. Your mind and body have been carrying you for a while and if you're still standing, you're already on the right path.

Self-love implies that you can peacefully be alone with your thoughts and don't have to constantly take care of other people. It is putting your needs first because you know you deserve it.

here comes self-confidence.

Happy people can see what they have accomplished, big or small steps. They don't dwell on the past and they don't see mistakes, they see lessons. We all need to f… up a few times to get something right. By learning to grow your self-confidence, you will be able to take the positive out of every situation, pick yourself back up and try again.

You need to learn to celebrate yourself often, to be proud of your accomplishments and most importantly: to acknowledge your self-worth.

If you are thinking “Blah, I haven't accomplished anything", we are gonna slap you silly because we know 100% that it is not true. Shift your mindset, if you made it this far, you have probably been doing something good, and this is what you need to focus on.

Talk to professionals

If you feel like you are too deep in negativity, you may need help, and that's totally okay. Thinking happiness long term and putting all of the efforts required to get to it is a freaking ton of work.

Asking for help from someone who knows their sh*t is far from being a weakness, it’s actually giving yourself a chance and taking a step in the right direction for a better you.

That’s why we actually decided to partner with a lovely mindset consultant to help us elevate you as high as we can, so you can keep going forward in life with a light heart and get the tools to face the curveballs it throws at you.

We will be launching our new program with Eden soon, sign up to our newsletter to get all of the details! We hope to be a part of your journey towards long-term happiness!

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4 things we learned by becoming boudoir photographers

Even though we have been shooting boudoir here and there for 10 years, we decided to make it our main focus 3 years ago. Becoming full time boudoir photographers have taught us some quite unexpected facts…

1) There is a huge therapeutic aspect to boudoir photography

Don’t get us wrong, of course we knew that having boudoir photos taken can help a lot of aspects in your life. But when we first opened, we were mainly focused on the physical part of it, like getting more comfortable in your own skin. We quickly noticed thanks to our clients sharing their stories with us that the impact was much much bigger than “just” that.

Like Marine, who told us her weight loss journey, or another Scandal mentionning being assaulted over a decade ago, who said she lost her own image and couldn’t really see herself anymore. Or Léa, who managed to regain her sense of femininity, Or the lovely lady who hit the reset button on her life, got a divorce, got a new partner and just wanted to celebrate life.

We have helped women wiN their own self image back, deal with obstacles on a daily basis, get stronger, louder, prouder in our own little ways. And that’s incredibly rewarding.

That's also why we also decided to now team up with a mindset consultant, so we can go deeper and help on the long run. In case you missed it, we are actually having a model call to try it out, you should check it out!

2) The snow ball effect

Little did we know that this very positive effect from above would spread all around... Until we received feedback from our clients after their photos, thanking us for giving them confidence to apply to their every day life. They’ve become more assertive, more determined and are not as scared of changes as they used to be. Even their posture have improved!

We now see it during every session: you pass the door slightly nervous, not sure what to do, you leave the shoot walking tall and proud, ready to conquer the world. The best part? It doesn’t just stop at the day of the shoot.

3) We have impacted ourselves by impacting others.

Or how we’ve impacted ourselves by impacting others. Ironically, while we are always the first one to encourage women to embrace their bodies, we were having our own struggles with ours. Without knowing, we started our own healing process by inspiring ourselves from YOU Scandals.

When we first opened Scandaleuse, we needed content for advertising purpose. A lot of our models have a clause in their contracts to forbid the use of their photos on any kind of support, which is pretty understandable. We needed content, so we took the decision to use ourselves to advertise.

And oh boy the life changing decision that was: we went from the shy first photos with as much coverage as possible to getting naked in the woods just for the hell of it.

Fact: I peed my pants before posting this one a year ago and almost chickened out. No, I want to print it for my living room.

If you had told us this a few years ago, we would have laughed at your face. Now we are like “I want my next shot to be in a busy street, wearing nothing but a trench coat”. Our perceptions of our own bodies have changed drastically and, just like you, the snow ball effect applied to us. Shaking the Earth to get what we want is definitely a skill added to our resume, and we have you to thank for that.

4) Turns out men also have body issues

The media don’t talk about it. You know, men are too strong to feel self conscious about their appearance bruh. The truth is, men can also feel crappy about the way they look, and can also benefit for some boudoir photos. 9 times out of 10, when men inquire with us, we can tell they fish for information, are tempted, but aren’t quite ready to say it out loud yet. Guess what gentlemen? We’re not going anywhere, so we will definitely be here when you’re ready to make the jump! In the meantime, you can read this. You’re welcome.

We never thought that being boudoir photographers would be so rewarding, on so many levels. We couldn’t be happier that you guys are allowing us to build our carrer out of it. You get stronger and so do we. And this will lead to newer, bigger projects…

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Why do a boudoir fitness shoot?

We all have our reasons to work out. To feel better, to reach a certain goal, to challenge ourselves. For some, working out is a really big part of who we are. It is safe to say that we all get the sense of pride upon achieving a new trick, pushing our capacities or even by just starting the journey. What’s the link with boudoir photography? Well, we use our work to also make you feel proud.

Here are 5 reasons why you should do a boudoir fitness shoot, no matter what your physical activity or level is.

1) Showing your evolution

It is impossible to get an objective vision of yourself and let’s be honest, 90% of people have a tendency of focus on little things they thing are flaws about their physical aspect. Have you ever had that feeling when you look at an old photo of yourself thinking “I can’t believe I thought I was too fat, too skinny / that I gave up on that dress, hair colour, you name it.” ? We sure have.

Having a boudoir session fitness oriented is a great way to see where you are at and what you’ve accomplished. And that my friend, feels awesome.

2) Staying Motivated by setting it as a goal

What better way to stay motivated than having a deadline you set yourself? If you were to book your session in the future, you will for sure have the extra motivation to keep going to reach your goal because you will have something concrete by the end of it.

Once you see how badass you look, you will want one thing: progress even more.

Be careful though, you are not here to set up unrealistic goals! These only bring negative crap you don’t have time for, hot stuff.

3) Celebrating an accomplishment

Reward yourself my friend. If you spent that much time lifting weights, running, getting more flexible, to finally get in a specific spot, you may as well treat yourself to some strong-minded photoshoot. Just saying.

4) Have a keepsake

Our bodies change throughout the years, that’s inevitable. Feel like bragging to your grandchildren about how grandma use to do the splits? I know I would.

More seriously, a fitness boudoir shoot is a great way to remind yourself how you committed yourself to something and had very positive results.

If you were able to do it for this specific project, what’s stopping you from applying it on everything else in your life?

5) It may be easier for you than a regular boudoir session

Why? Because you would be in a familiar environment, doing what you are comfortable with. I personally felt more comfortable posing on my silks for a boudoir shoot because I had something to do and I could focus on it.

There you have it. Now the real question is: when are we gonna photograph your sweaty bum??

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VIDEO | Safety first!

New concept alert!

This is our first video from a new series we will be developing around here. Since we can’t never emphasize enough about how safety is the first thing you should ever consider while booking a boudoir photoshoot, we turned it into an informative video for you!

The Unstoppable Project

Here it is. One of our most nurtured projects is finally seeing the light of day! Let’s welcome: The Unstoppable Project.

Because every woman deserves to be herself loud and clear. Special thanks to Florent Magere who created this awesome music and Jonathan Delgado for animating the tag lines for us!

Don’t feel like reading? You can watch the making-of video!

What’s that now?

Scandaleuse is in its second year now and one of its main purpose is to encourage women to be openly proud of themselves and to stop caring about other people’s opinion in their everyday lives. About a year ago, Fanny and I started to hear multiple sentences which just didn’t sit well in our minds.

“I could never show those, I am a lawyer”
”I love these but my family/friends/husband/boyfriend would totally disapprove, I don’t want to make them upset”
”People are going to think I am a slut”

We are advocates of the “no hell given” movement. We truly believe you should be able to do whatever you want and whatever makes you happy. It is safe to say that absolutely all of our clients leave their boudoir experience with us feeling happy, confident, strong and determined to make their world their oyster. Some share their photos right away, after a slight hesitation, others cannot go pass the potential judgement from others.

The sad truth? as women, we work a lot harder to build a strong reputation. And There is a risk of being taken less seriously from coworkers, friends, family members if some of these pictures were to see the light of day.

And that’s killing us. Why sharing photos of you in a boudoir set up, in which you feel fantastic and beautiful, should have an impact on anything else in your life? There is nothing wrong with those photos; it is the people who are too narrow-minded who create the actual problem.

So we gathered our little army of Scandals…

All from different backgrounds, different paths and careers. All badass in their own way. Women who decided to say “screw it”. Women as determined as we are to stop the hypersexualisation of the female body.

We don’t know about you, but when we see these women, we don’t doubt their abilities to keep rocking their lives because we just saw them half naked. If anything, we applaud them for owning who their really are.

Becky is still a kick-ass business owner, Caitlin is still a qualified environmentalist, Victoria is still a talented goldsmith and Sonia’s talent as a super mom is still off the charts.

Now remember: Showing your true self should complement your image, not compromise it.

Watch our making-of below!

Before we end it here, let us go against the comment we know we will get…

”Yeah but you don’t need to put yourself outhere naked to prove that, ugh, there are other ways”

Yep, you’re right. But we are boudoir photographers so we use our skills and our work to defend a matter that we care about. If your talent is to bake cookies, you are welcome to start your own campaign with pastries. Just make sure you share it with us! Bisous, bye!

Camera Roll - Fall Edition

Here we are, so close to winter and its festivities. Where did fall go? No clue, once again, it flew by for us. Ready for a flashback sequence?

We did our (very likely) last outdoor shoot

As you may know, we love doing outdoor sessions for the most adventurous Scandals and we manage to get a decent amount of these per year. By we do depend on the weather and we were happy to conclude the 2018 outdoor boudoir journey with a lovely woman, who wanted to celebrate her femininity in the middle of our beloved river. Unless we get a super adventurous Scandal willing to hop in the upcoming snow (contact us!), it looks like it is it for 2018!

We did our first business trip to France

This was definitely the biggest fall project: we organized a whole boudoir marathon in Paris & Lyon. Was it a lot of work? Absolutely. But oh so worth it. We met so many lovely people, have great portfolio pieces and we can’t wait to plan the next trip!

Our top secret project took a big step

We have been nurturing an idea for over… 4 months and we finally put it together. We gathered a bunch of our lovely Scandals and the outcome is pretty sweet. All we need now are the final pieces and The Unstoppable Project will see the light of day early 2019!

We started working with companions

Yep, that’s right, Scandaleuse is happy to work with providers! If you are looking to upgrade your branding, give us a shout!

It was such a busy busy fall, just the way we like it! Looking forward to get in our cocoons and work our butts off on the upcoming projects. Saty tuned and hold on to your panties, you’re in for a ride!

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Gentlemen special: how to approach a boudoir photographer

Spoiler alert: boudoir photography isn’t exclusively for women contrary to what a lot of people may think. So yes, if you are a man, you can definitely want to also have nice intimate picture of yourself. However, we have noticed that you may need a teeny tiny bit of help to take the plunge.

Disclaimer: we will be very explicit in this blog post, we have no issues talking about anything openly and neither should you.

You have every right to want a boudoir shoot.

Women are not the only ones who need some me-time and want to feel good about themselves. Male boudoir is becoming more and more popular and it is pretty awesome considering how great the outcome of a session is in self-confidence, self-love and handling new challenges positively.

The difference between boudoir, erotic and pornography

That is the first question you need to ask yourself: what are you looking for exactly?

We receive a lot of inquiries from men who seem to be mistaking boudoir, erotic and pornography. One point in common with the 3: they all involve nudity (partially or fully) & an intimate setting (unless you want to shoot outdoors like some of our Scandals!)

The background is very important in boudoir, since we create a whole concept to showcase sensuality in a subtle way.
Example: let’s pretend you are hanging out all sexy and cute in your living room.

Erotic involves more sensual and passionate outcome, with potentially implied sexual acts. Which we do. No close-up of genitals, no masturbation or penetration and what not.
Example: you’re arched on your bed with one end on your chest, the other one down on your private parts.

Pornography involves sexual acts (solo or not), with a lot of close-ups. Which is not what we personally do, just because it is not the message we want to focus on with Scandaleuse.

Cut to the chase, there is nothing wrong in asking.

The amount of phone calls we get from hesitant men who don’t dare saying exactly what they are looking for. We have heard “I don’t want to scare you” so many times already: just say what you have in mind directly. If there is one thing that is safe to assume with boudoir photographers, is that we are not afraid to talk about sexuality.

As long as you are respectful, you can literally ask us anything. However, it is unnecessary to insist when we say no.

We have heard before “not even a little bit of sex?” when we said we do not photograph sexual acts. We respect everyone’s fantasies and fetishes -as long as is it consensual- but it is not our specialty and it will never be.

We don’t need any examples of what you or your private parts look like.

Surprinsingly, a few people seem to genuinely think we need a glimpse of what they actually look like before deciding to book a shoot or not. We don’t. We don’t book our clients depending on their looks, and especially not the looks of their genitals.

As for the ones who actually uses contacting us as an excuse to fulfill a fantasy, just know that...

We are not part of the fantasy

We are two women. And we are French. As silly as it may sound, it is a turn on to a lot of men. We were asked in a good chunck of the inquiries we received to be an actual part of the potential’s client fantasy.
Example: “can you dress sexy during the shoot so I can be turned on?“ Nope we won’t. We are artists and professionals before anything else and again, while we are very open minded, we are only here to capture you and give you beautiful photographs. Period.

Conclusion: you can talk to us freely as long as respect is applied. We are not here to judge you and it is always a pleasure to hear your ideas and try our best to make them come to life. Don’t be shy and reach out!

Camera Roll - Summer Edition

Well Scandals, we only have a few weeks left of summer, and if there is one thing we can say is that: man it flew by. Let us take you through what we have been up to...

New Scandals, New Locations

Hard work pays off, we have met over 10 new Scandals in the span of a few weeks and had to look for more locations so we can keep giving you original work! From Nakita who wanted to highlight her post-partum killer body to Madison who was looking for a true Victoria Secret moment, we have met so many wonderful women, We can't wait to meet our fall Scandals!

An express trip to France

Juliette hopped on a plane to France for some shoots and family time. Just enough to load up on French sun and get over the jetlag and deal with it on the way back. How can you go to France and not take advtange of the scenery? Mama Scandal was dragged in a sunflower field, butt naked, for some beautiful shots.

New shiny headquarters.

One the biggest surprises of 2018 is that both of our lives took a 360 turn and we started living together again. The minute Juliette landed back from France, we unpacked our boxes in our new apartment until midnight. It is coming together slowly but surely and we are pretty excited to show you our new home!

The project with an advertising agency

Back in June, we started working with Zulu Alpha Kilo, who were kind enough to take us on board as a pro-bono project. We are happy to finalize the details of the project we have been keeping secret for weeks now. Stay tuned!

The Scandaleuse Sweet Escape in Tiny, ontario.

We finally allowed ourselves to take 3 days out of the city, in a cottage kindly lent by one of our friends. This little vacation was so refreshing (we did spend it naked after all) with so many news photos and videos.

What about you Scandals: what have you been up to this Summer?

What to do when your life is falling apart.

Do you feel like nothing you knew makes sense anymore? Your left is right, your black is white? This is kind of what happened with us over the past few weeks: our lives changed drastically.  If you feel like yours is too, maybe we can help.

The good news: your life may be falling apart/changing in unexpected ways but it is very likely for the best.

We do believe in the saying "everything happens for a reason". Whether you made a chains of decisions to get there or someone did it for you, you have two options: you sink and spiral or you do the best you can not to.

It's okay to wallow

Hey. Sh*t just hit the fan. If you think it is not going to impact you and you will keep doing cartwheels, you are very likely wrong. A good cry is a good way to relieve some stress. When Fanny and I moved in together a few weeks ago, we bought a bottle of wine, determined to laugh it up, and we ended up crying for 4 hours. But guess what? We felt much better after. So put on your ugly cry face, build a fort if you need to and go at it!

Asking for help doesn't make you weak.

I am guilty of the "I don't need anyone" syndrome - I am a strong woman right? Haha. I am so glad that a few people stuck out for me during the dark times to take me out and distract me. And let me ramble for hours. The lesson I learned? You can reach out to people and they will likely be here you. Just make sure you return the favor when it's their turn (manners!).

Rebuild your routine

Since your life just went upside down like a neglected canoe, so is your routine. You're sad, you eat like crap, you sleep poorly, you can't focus... But routines are so important for our sanity, they bring a feeling of familiarity, which we lack desperately when our lives change so much at once. Slowly but surely, get back to your former routine if it made you happy or start a fresh one.

Try new experiences

Usually, we make tough decisions why family, lovers or friends because we don't feel like we can be ourselves truly. Are you starting to feel slightly more stable on your feet? Order your legs to move around and try new things! On top of being a great distraction, it will lift up your heart, help you find out who you really are and get closer to who you want to be.

There are NO freaking rules.

Related to our current cases: we are conditioned to think we have to believe a certain way after any life events. Truth is, you have to do what makes you happy. And if it doesn't feel right to others, well that's toobad for them. Don't let a chance of happiness run away from you if it's knocking at your door.

roll up your sleeves and Take the time you need to rebuild yourself. you will be happier for it in the long run. We are sending you love, are willing to share our icecream and you can call us anytime if you feel like dancing on Britney Spears from 2008.