How words can impact your mind and body

Language is a powerful tool which brings people together and help understand each other. But unfortunately it can also be used as a weapon when put between mischievous hands. Since it is easier for a lot of people to criticize rather than giving compliments, words can be extremely harmful.

By the way I, Fanny, am writing this blog. But I can also speak for Juliette as she also got hurt from people’s comments when she was younger!

Like most people I am lacking self-confidence from time to time. Not about my body, more about my skills and intellect (this will be for another blog though 😬). I feel very fortunate I was able to accept and love how my body looks like naturally, but it wasn't always the case! It took me many years to realize that all the beauty standards I grew up with were BS and how to reclaim my own beauty. Honestly photography helped a lot and I am really glad I chose that path!

I used to wish to be curvier, taller, have thicker wrists, have a perfect skin… I was wishing to be different not only because of what I was seeing in magazines or tv, but also because people around me were criticizing me about my body.

When your loved ones are not so loving

Juliette was criticized for being overweight, I was criticized for being skinny and short:

-“You look like a garden gnome hahaha!”

- “I should not talk about that in front of you! What are you, 14 or so?” (I was 22 😢)

- “Are you not ashamed of not having boobs?”

- “Are you sure you don't suffer from anorexia?”

… I could keep going on and on.

Most of those awful sentences came from friends or people I knew, and every time they broke me into thousand pieces. Until a classmate told me the worst one someone could ever say to me “your mom should be so ashamed for giving birth to an anorexic girl. What an embarrassment!”.

That sentence was a wake up call! Like Juliette, I had a “F**k that! Never again” moment and told myself that I will never let words put me down ever again.

Relax, it was just a joke!

That famous: “I was joking!”… I am pretty sure we can all relate right? And maybe we did it too without realizing we hurt someone. We don’t know if it was the same for you but Juliette and I grew up in France where sarcasm is very common. People from the same family and friends pocked each other, made jokes about the way they look or their personality, and ended up with a "you are so sensitive, it was just a joke!” if the person was hurt or taking it the wrong way. We were both victims of those comments that could be soul crushing.

And yes maybe it was just a “joke”, but for some reason that day those words sticked to your mind. Maybe it wasn’t the first time you heard those words or maybe you were already having a bad day and was feeling a down. When a loved one tells you several times how overweight they think you are or how an idiot you can look like, even if they say it with a touch of humour, you ended up believing those words and less in yourself.

When the critics come from yourself!

Raise your hand if you have ever called yourself stupid. Raise your hand if you have ever looked at your reflection in the mirror with a disgusted look on your face. Raise your hand if you have ever been unkind to yourself! Are you raising both hands right now and need a third one? Yep, me as well :(

Self-criticism is so common! It is very easy to be harsh with our body and our mind, yet the things we tell ourselves we would never tell that to someone else. So why this need of self-harm and sabotage?

What we want you to do from now on is to talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend.

Start seeing your body as a friend who needs love instead of seeing it as an enemy. Kindness is not only meant to comfort others!

It is hard to detach ourselves from the negative things people can tell us or have told us in the past because it is painful. But the truth is that people have the tendency to project their own insecurities on you rather than dealing with their problems. So the next time someone criticize you, remember there is a big chance that person is just showing how they really think about themselves in a specific situation.

Once you get that, people’s hurtful words will not affect you anymore!

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Taking intimate photos doesn't make you a “whore”

On the 2022 list of "things we don't tolerate anymore, whatever the excuse is”, slut shaming is in the top 3!

We have heard too many times from people in our community, that some people in their life believe it is inappropriate for a woman to do a boudoir shoot. For example, one of our lovely Scandal messaged us saying how one of her close friends decided to stop talking to her after seeing her boudoir photos online. Long story short, her "oh so scandalous photos" made her look like she was an attention seeker and could not be trusted, especially around said-friend's husband. Mind-blowing, isn't it?

We have a universal truth for you: taking photos of yourself in a sensual setting showing partial, suggested or full nudity, does NOT make you a whore. It makes you a freaking goddess. And it might surprise you, but it has nothing to do with any physical aspects.

There are 3 types of people:

1. Those who are in the process of conquering their fear of something, anything, by stepping out of their comfort zone. They seek Happiness with a capital H and believe it resides in continuous learning and positive challenges in life.

   They know the recipe but haven't started putting the ingredient together yet.

2. Those who are a few steps ahead with a few life experiences under their belts, thus have already learnt to develop a "no fucks given" mentality and celebrate the fact that they can be who they really are.

   They have built solid foundations of confidence and it shows in everything they touch.

3. Last but not least: those who don't dare thinking outside the box and, quite frankly, are pretty scared to explore what's happening on the other side of the white pickets fences of "proper" beliefs they -or their environment- have built for them.

Guess which persona usually reaches out to us? #1 & #2. Why? Because they understand that boudoir photography is far from being just pretty photos. It is a set of tools given to you to start or finish the process of embracing yourself.

Gain some experience points and level up

By embracing yourself, you are taking the chance to live your life to the fullest, according to your needs.

Here is the super important part: by learning to do this, you are demolishing negative beliefs, you become much better at facing obstacles, you are significantly decreasing any source of anxiety and you trust your guts. You know what you need and are not afraid to do what it takes to make it happen. In other words: you know your worth!

Suddenly, the path to your dream job doesn't seem out of reach anymore. Or you know you can work your ass off to build the home of your dreams.

You will also attract relationships who will respect, appreciate and lift you up. Bonus: you will know how to do the same to others because you can acknowledge other people's worth too.

Think of it as a major level up. We like to think with each skills acquired in life, we have little "xp" points popping up above our heads like in video games. The higher you go, the more tools you unlock to keep leveling up.

So what if you use boudoir photos as a part of your ongoing growth?

There is something to learn in every experiences you go through. We know that and you know it too.

A boudoir experience is just a tool given to you to level up. Grab it, enjoy it a 100%, and take everything you can out of it. For yourself but also others. Because once you do get on the other side of basic beliefs, you will reach your hand out to bring others in too.

That's how strong teams are created and changes are made.

If you have that deep desire to try a boudoir shoot but you don't feel ready to take the first step yet; we created this detailed online boudoir program. It is the perfect opportunity to get a first taste of boudoir photography at home, with just you and your beautiful self.

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6 unusual inquiries we got for boudoir photography

Once upon a time, two boudoir photographers were having tasty breakfast together. And like most of new entrepreneurs, they decided to open their emails to check on new inquiries like they did every morning. That day they got a new one and happily started to read it, but their joy faded away when they saw the email attachment: a dick pic… They never opened their emails in the morning ever again 😂

We receive a lot of badass and emotional emails, but from time to time creepy and unusual requests are popping up. Some are hilarious, others are disturbing. 

Scandals, here is our top 6 of the weirdest inquiries we got since we opened Scandaleuse Photography:

N°6 : The dick pic guy

If there is something intriguing with Boudoir and men, is that most of the gentlemen who contact us for a boudoir shoot want to do something more sexual. Which is not a problem! Even if we do not shoot this type of photography we understand everyone has their own fantasies and there is nothing wrong with that. But what is the most disturbing for us is that some men believe we need to see their pee-pee before accepting to work with them. And it usually goes like this:

- Them: “I wanna shoot with you, do you need to see what I look like?”

- Us: “No need to! We do not chose our clients based on their look or body type.”

- Them: sending the picture of big Willy and the twins (with the worst angle and lighting) even thought we said no 😤 But if you really want to show us your joystick, at least do it in an artistic way!

Joke aside, here is a gentle reminder to anyone who want to send us pictures of their genital: just don’t, we really don’t need to see what you look like down there!

It was very tempting to add a moustache and a hat on this photograph and send it back to that particular client. Should we do it next time?

N°5 : The iPad guy

This made us laugh!

We received a long time ago an email from a guy who wanted to shoot one of his sexual fantasy with us, we don’t remember exactly what it was about. With his inquiry he attached a script of all the scenarios he had in mind, scene by scene with details of what we had to shoot (was it badly written on top of being weird? Absolutely!).

But wait, the best part was that he requested that we shoot only with is iPad. Go figure!

N°4 : The pink blouse guy

One day we were contacted by a man who wanted to do a boudoir shoot for his future husband. His idea was to lay down on a bed made of Kleenex - once again everyone has a fantasy. He was also looking for a wedding photographer but didn't want to tell us the date of the wedding - RED FLAG. The icing on the cake was when he asked us to wear pink blouses for the first meeting, because (and we quote) "the first impression is very important".

Sure! Do you want us to wear a french maid outfit so we can clean your discourtesy off your face? 

We nicely told him we would not do it, so he decided to go with another photographer and apparently found one… Good for him!

N° 3 : The "I like humiliation" guy

This one was probably the most recent one. We received an email from a guy who lost a bet and had to do a boudoir shoot, wearing high heels, sexy dress, lingerie and/or be nude. He had to walk like a model and be shoot in some very embarrassing poses, for his humiliation and women amusement.

We obviously declined, told him boudoir photography is an art, and that we work only with people who respect this type of photography.

But we added we could provide some headshots for professional purpose if he was interested. You have to see business opportunity everywhere right?!

N° 2 : The "you need to wear sexy clothes so I can feel turned on" guy

Ooooh man, this was our first weird inquiry. This married man sent us an email because he was looking to do a couple boudoir shoot with his wife. They have been married for 20 years and they were looking to spice up their relationship. We were pretty happy about it since, at that time, we didn't get a lot of couples interested by a boudoir shoot. So he started to explain what he wanted, sent us example of videos and pictures (remember the dick pic story previously, well those were the beginning). His wife had apparently a big and sexual appetite and they were looking for erotic photography. We explained to him this is not the type of service we offer but we could give them sensual pictures without crossing our boundaries.

We were not against working with them, they wanted to celebrate the love they have for each other by trying a new experience.

Unfortunately he crossed the line when he asked us to dress up very sexy during the shoot so he can be more excited. We were happy to not go forward with this inquiry: this couple were the lions, we were the gazelles. 

N° 1: The "let's redo American Pie" guy

And the winner is... (actually my little favourite, probably because I watch all of the American Pie movies)
A man who loved his mom decided to treat her with a boudoir shoot and reach out to us. What a sweet and thoughtful gentleman who was open minded enough to offer this beautiful experience as a gift for his mom. Or so we thought.

We were pretty intrigued so we replied to him asking for more details. Maybe his mom asked him to book the shoot for her, maybe it was a gift for his parents' wedding anniversary, or maybe his mom had self-confidence issues and he wanted to let her out.

We were so wrong, it was not a thoughtful idea but a pretty crazy one:

He wanted some pictures taken of his mom and his best-friend like the scene in the first “American Pie” when Paul Finch is having sex on the pool table with Stifler’s mom. The story never said if it was a spam or a serious request. 

Yes we are photographers whose main goal is to highlight the beauty and sensuality of every bodies, but it doesn't mean we get sexual pleasure out of it. So keep your pants on (at least until the day of the shoot)! We are not part of your fantasy, don't plan to be, and will never ever touch your purple-helmeted warrior of love.  

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I do whatever I want with my butt, thank you.

A few weeks ago, I received a comment on one of my pole-dancing Instagram stories with a very thoughtful question:

“Why are you doing this? The way you have to show your butt to everyone… What is the point? I just don’t get it.”

Did someone call Judgment to the table? Many of us have a hard time starting facing judgement, especially when we want to start something new.. It is very easy for people to share their 2 cents on how you should live your life. While there is nothing much you can do about their behaviour, you can choose to handle the situation to your advantage.

Detach, to not waste your time.

So here I was, in my underwear, upside down on the pole, practicing a move, minding my own business. Then this message popped up and I started to wonder:

• Why am I upside down on a pole?

• Why am I half naked in my apartment?

• Why do I share those online?

And so on until my mind was filled with enough random thoughts about my actions to the point that they made me question my entire being.

Hold on a minute here.

This simple message had me doubting myself and my choices? It made me think twice about sharing something that I actually love and that doesn’t hurt anyone?

Hell no.

I realized I had three options. I could:

- Let my anger out and tackled him with my words (tempting!);
- Spend my time starting a debate on how we live in a society where it is inappropriate for women to show their bodies but normal for men and how it is important to change mentality around that topic, or;
- Ignore his remark and keep my cool.

I went for the 3rd option.

Why? Because what this guy wanted was to criticize, not try to really understand and potentially change his way of thinking and beliefs. Getting into a debate to attempt to educate him was very tempting but I just knew it would have just left me feeling frustrated as hell. So I kept my cool, told him I would not go into details and wished him a good night.

Sometimes, You can absolutely have conversations with people, only if they come from a neutral and curious state of mind. If someone starts saying something with an undertone of judgement, you will not make them change their minds.

So don’t waste your time, and keep doing whatever makes you feel good, especially because…

It’s not about you anyway.

There will always be someone ready to negatively judge whatever you're doing. And the truth is: it has nothing to do with you.

Behind someone’s judgment is an insecurity of theirs shining through.

And they are projecting it on you. You poked at something that is uncomfortable to them. It reminds them of that one thing they wish they could work on but haven’t yet for whatever reason. Is it fair? Nope. Do we all do it? Yes.

Being aware of it gives you the chance to act differently in those situations. It makes it easier to let go of the negativity you are facing and even bring compassion to the table by asking this person what is really going on. (If you feel like it, of course. Again, pick your battles!)

No, detaching doesn’t make you selfish.

A lot of people, especially women, feel incredibly guilty not to listen when someone is giving them “advice” disguised in judgement. That's conditioning for you, the “be a good girl” kind of thing. If this is your case, here is a little reminder that can help: nobody knows your life better than yourself, therefore, the only person who can make decisions about it is… you. It doesn't mean you have to send everyone packing and that you don't care. But it means you don't have to accept everything coming your way.

It does not make you selfish or pretentious if you decide to not give a damn. You know you cannot please everyone.

You want to wear only blue clothes, go for it. You don't want kids, nothing wrong with that. You want to work in the sex industry, you do you my friend (no pun intended - or maybe a little!).

Don't let others dictate who you are just because they believe it is the only and right way to be. What you do with your butt, how you dress, the way you live your life and who you decide to be are your decisions to make.

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5 years later and we are still rocking!

“Shhh, not too loud!”

“You should not dress up that way!”

“You are just being dramatic!”

“You will never make it happen”

“Don’t be so bossy!”

if you were born as a woman you probably heard those sentences (among so many other ones) from a very young age and still nowadays. Women are often seen as fragile and delicate beings who are not supposed to make too much noise or take too much space. Even if it is getting a tad better, those clichés are still sticking to our skin putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on our shoulders and making our hearts heavy.

Well, one of the reasons we opened Scandaleuse Photography 5 years ago was to kick this BS in the butt and show society women deserve to be strong, badass, sensual, sexy, and successful, or any other way they want to be WITHOUT BEING JUDGED FOR IT 💪

5 years later we are still here, still fighting for our values, and ready to keep lifting our Scandals up as long as we can!

To celebrate our business anniversary we gathered footage from our past shoots, projects, and events, to created this short video that recaps our Scandaleuse journey:

And if you want more reading, here are some of our blogs we wrote about some of the events you saw in the video:

• We Were Nudist For 3 Days

• The Unstoppable Project

• How We Ended Up Creating An Exhibit For Women

• A Boudoir Shoot In Winter Wonderland

• Paris & Lyon, Our First Business Trip

• Photoshoot In Costa Rica

• Show Us Your Tats

• More Than Just A Parade

• The Day We Spoke In Public

• Our Limitless project which unfortunately did not work out 😞 :

  When we tried to fix it | When we gave up

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5 hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers

We keep repeating it but we love being boudoir photographers! We meet freaking strong and badass people with different stories, it gives us the motivation to push ourselves and shoots are always a lot of fun. On top of that, boudoir gives us the opportunity to use our sense of humour to say unique sentences.

So for you and in exclusivity, here is the top 5 of the most unexpected sentences we have been saying since we opened Scandaleuse:

“Let's get naked”

Even if doing a boudoir shoot doesn't mean you have to go for full nudity, the goal of this type of photography is to show some skin (I mean everyone needs a picture of them fully naked, framed in their living room right?!). It can be intimidating at first to strip down in front of two strangers (AKA us… Hi!), especially if it is your first shoot.

But you will see that being brave enough to show some vulnerability will make your self-confidence skyrocks and you will leave your shoot feeling like you can conquer the world!

We all need a little push in life and we would not be professional photographers if we were not telling you when it is time to take your clothes off!

“Boobs up, shoulders down"

In photography, different criteria make a picture beautiful: the subject, the lighting, the environment around, the techniques and the story telling. But in boudoir, the subject is the most important because this type of photography highlight the beauty of the body. So we need to make sure we teach our clients the proper posture: the poses we make them do have to follow their personality and also their shape.

But if some poses are better on certain type of bodies and not others, there are some general guidance that works on everyone, such as:

• Bringing your chin up: nobody likes showing their double chin (that we all have by the way depending on how we place our head!) and it gets even worst when we get stuck with it because our chin was too low when the picture was taken. So next time you worry about this, don't hesitate to bring your chin a tad higher, but not too much, to not have this problem anymore.

• Straightening your back: round back and shoulders too forward… our era's problem! By looking a lot at our phones or computers (but also because we are totally ignoring the importance of a great posture), we end up destroying our backs. When you pose during a boudoir shoot (or any other portrait photography), having a round back is not flattering and does not show confidence. To fix this, all you have to do is straightening your back to make yourself taller. You will see that the picture will show a total different attitude and vibe.

• Bringing your boobies up and shoulders down: When we are nervous, shy, or not sure of what we are doing, our shoulders automatically go up toward our ears, which creates a lot of tension in the neck and back area. It makes breathing more difficult which can create anxiety. But if you open up your chest to the ceiling and bring your shoulders down, you will feel more relax.

• Pointing your toes: “frog feet” can really mess up a picture. Thinking of pointing your toes will make your legs look much longer and will add a delicate touch to the photograph.

“Touch yourself”

A boudoir shoot is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your femininity and sensuality. But in order to do so, you cannot be afraid of your body. So we like to tell our clients to not hesitate to touch themselves. Not in a sexual way of course, but to not end up with “robot arms”. While posing, it is really important to know where to put your hands:

“Put your hands on your boobies” = beautiful and romantic topless pose for those we don't wanna show nipples.

“Cup your butt cheeks out” = perfect to make a booty a tad bigger while sitting and to give the illusion of a stronger back's arch.

And touch yourself because it feels so good give ourselves a nice hug from time to time ;)

“Give yourself a good wedgie!”

This one hurt a little, doesn’t it?!

We all have experienced one way or another at least once in our life wedgies (we can for sure say it is not pleasant at all!). Either someone pulled up your underwear has a kid, or you are used to them because you wear thong under tight pans (don’t get me starting on the awful frontal wedgie 😅). So why on earth would we ask our clients to give themselves a wedgie?

Well the answer is simple: pulling your underwear higher on your hips and butt when you pose for a boudoir shoot makes your legs looks longer, and your hips sensual AF! If you are sceptical about what you just read then stop reading, go in front of your mirror and give it a try. The result is mind blowing 🔥.

See, we told you so… after all we are the experts ;)

“It Smells like dick”

We receive quite a lot of inquiries from men who are looking to do a boudoir shoot (usually via phone calls, it seems like those gentlemen do not want any written proof). Most of the time they want to do more than boudoir, they want erotic or pornographic shoots and often expect us to be part of their fantasy (did we have to create a page with all the things WE DO NOT DO? Yes absolutely!). It usually start the same way:

• we receive a call from a man looking to get more info about our shoots.

• we tell that person we do not offer erotic photography. The person seems to understand and is, of course, never looking to do explicit sexual acts.

• we ask for his email and sent the info (including the page that describes in details our photographic limits). We also make sure one more time he understands we don't do porn: “Of course, I respect your limits ladies, it is absolutely not my intention to do more than boudoir!"

• So we ask more questions about the project, schedule a Zoom meeting to see the person and get acquainted.

This is usually when they reveal their true intention… Every time we can tell that they are not being honest (we like to say we can smell the dick from a distance hahaha). And we are right 98% (we had a few inquiries from amazing men who were actually looking to do artistic shoots for themselves)! Every time we dig deeper we find out they want us to be part of their sexual scenarios or we get the usual:

“Ok you don't want to take pictures of sexual acts, but what about a little bit of sex?”

We call those inquiries: “Just The Tip Please”.

Boudoir photography should always be a badass and empowering experience for anyone who is trying it. And the best way to get there, is to not take it too seriously to be able to relax and have fun. This is why we like to add a touch of humour during our sessions or even when we work just the two of us (our specialty? Dad jokes and ridiculous dance moves!).

Side note, we are super proud of this blog and we think we are funny ladies 😂

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Let's talk about choices

Today we are writing about something that is not boudoir related but that really impacts us as women: last week, Texas laws banned abortion at six weeks, and this is not ok!

It does not matter why some women decide to stop their pregnancy or when they want to do it, abortion is a choice and a right, and should not be a political debate.

My body, my choice

Since this law was voted, my social media have been saturated with anger, and extreme comments coming from both sides. People are very opinionated and an online war started between those who are for abortion and those who are against.

As usual instead of keeping their energy to fight people who create those ridiculous laws, people fight each others and totally lack compassion towards those who are facing this difficult situation that is an unwanted pregnancy (either they want or not to get an abortion). Either you are for or against abortion, you have to understand it is a personal decision.

There is no need to become hateful towards people who don't make the same body, sexual, or reproductive choices as you do.

If I were to take Juliette and I as an example, the new Texas law and seeing that abortion is still illegal in other countries makes us very angry, as we are pro abortion. But we understand and respect the fact that some women will never do an abortion for themselves.

People have different opinions and needs. What work for someone does not necessarily work for someone else. Creating laws that go against people's freedom is revolting and should not happen anymore.

via GIPHY

It is not a man decision

I can imagine some people being pretty upset after reading this. But I stand by what I am about to say:

When it comes to the woman body, men should not be allowed to make any decisions about it.

Of course I am not saying they don't have the right to have an opinion. I just believe that if you cannot physically experience a situation (such as an abortion for example), there is no way you can understand enough to take decisions or create laws about it.

Every topics around the woman body should stay in women's hands.

That being said, it does not mean that all women would respect others women choices. There are also a lot of men who fight beside women, and believe anyone should be able to decide what is best their own body and health.

The danger of making abortion illegal

“Banning abortion doesn’t stop it from happening, it just drives it underground” - Margaret Wurth

Beside taking away a woman's choice, making abortion illegal can also become a factor of risk or death. Women who really want to stop their pregnancy are not gonna magically changed their mind because it is illegal. They will find a way to terminate it, and a lot of times it means doing it in an unsafe environment or by people lacking medical training.

Even if clandestine abortion is “safer” than before because of medication and technology, women still die from it every day.

Unwanted and unplanned pregnancies will always happen. It is important to fully legalize abortion in every countries so women and girls can safely have the choice to terminate it if they wish.

Learning about it

You can find tons of useful resources about this topic online.

• Planned Parenthood is a great platform for everything related to sexuality.

• If the topic around abortion triggers your interest, I highly suggest that you read stories of women going through it, or even how life is in countries where abortion is illegal. Learning is a great way to open your mind to things you might not fully understand.

• I also recommend this beautiful movie called Vera Drake, that relates the story of a British housekeeper in 1950's who provides abortions to local women with unwanted pregnancies. When the authorities learn of her illegal activities, Vera Drake loses the admiration of many around her and possibly her freedom.

Juliette and I never had to face that choice and if one day we do, we are lucky to live in a country where we can choose. Today this blog is for those around the world who don't have the privilege to decide for themselves ❤️

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Boudoir photography is for everyone, period!

Inequalities are everywhere, even in the boudoir world.

We grew up in France seeing boudoir done in a classic and non-inclusive way: perfectly photoshoped young women, laying down on an hotel room’s bed, in black and white. We never saw curvy women, or even transgender people on those pictures. And for men, the only time we saw male boudoir photography it was done in an ¨humoristic way¨ (men posing very femininely, to make fun of women posing for boudoir -.how nice is that 😬).

Even now, only a few photographers dare to stand out and create a different boudoir experience.

All of those caricatures makes boudoir intimidating, and limited for people who don’t relate to traditional boudoir photography.

You have to be the changes you wanna see in the world

Changes don’t magically happen over night. We have to fight for things we care about in order for them to change.

So opening Scandaleuse was, and still is, our way to change mentalities around this amazing art that is boudoir photography: make it accessible to all genders, body shapes, ethnicities, and ages, and create a safe community where everyone feel welcome.

Be loud about the changes you are making

We don’t understand how in 2021 we are still struggling with those inequalities. For us, it just makes sense that every services should be inclusive, this is part of our beliefs. We never understood why some business owners select their clients based on their gender, sexual orientation, or even skin color (and in a more general way, why we are still dealing with racism, sexism, homophobia,… - but that is another discussion).

Back to topic! To give you an example, one of our client told us she was afraid to be rejected by photography studios because she is trans - this really blows our mind but not in a good way!

There is a funny thing that often happens when you try to make positive changes. Most of the time, you think you are doing enough until you realize you could do even better.

Why are we telling you this? Well, we recently noticed that we haven’t really wrote it in our website’s copy that we are inclusive. People who personally know us, or are following us on social media know about that fact. But for those who go directly to our website, they have to do a bit of digging to read about it.

Being inclusive is not just about accepting everyone, it is also about making this information clear and easily accessible so people feel comfortable reaching out.

via GIPHY

Like this gif above, your boudoir shoot is your freaking show, so you should feel 100% yourself doing it. And it starts by feeling accepted by the photographer!

Even in life in general, your gender should not be an excuse others use to reject you. Your body type should not stop you from experiencing all the things you wanna. Your skin color should not close doors on beautiful opportunities life gives you.

To recap:

• don’t be passive, fight for things you care about;

• be loud about it, don’t be afraid to share your message;

• and make sure you are doing your best, there is always room for improvement.

We are always open to suggestion, so don’t hesitate to let us know how we can, in your opinion, improve Scandaleuse.

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Reasons to do a boudoir shoot - 2021 edition

Let's cut to the chase: a boudoir photoshoot makes you feel amazing and that should be a good reason to sign yourself up for one. But, if you've been wanting to try it, especially with such a challenging year we have been having, but feel like you need an actual reason, then this is the post for you!

So here goes: why should you do boudoir shoot?

Because it has been a long, tough year.

This one is pretty obvious: we have all faced big and unexpected challenges in the past year. Dealing with a pandemic, fear of the unknown, sickness, having to stay home during never ending government announcements: it has been BRU-TAL and we can all use a little bit a ✨ pizzazz ✨

This is the perfect occasion to try something out of the ordinary, especially after being stuck in a routine for over a year!

Because you feel the need to reconnect with yourself.

(and get out of the sweat pants that have taken over your wardrobe)

(c) Scandaleuse Photography

We don't know about you, but this past year has taken a toll on us. While we did grow and learned a lot, we have also had tons of existential crisis, doubts and body-image issues.

A boudoir shoot is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with who you are, in a beautiful and powerful way. It is a vulnerable experience that always, always, always leads to a new level of empowerment.

After all, once you've managed to strip down in front of a camera and felt amazing doing so, you can do anything.

Because you found yourself and that's worth celebrating.

On the opposite, maybe you did find yourself this past year, because you had the time to really ask yourself what mattered to you, and you took action. You have welcomed You 2.0 and she/he/they is not going anywhere. 👏🏻

This feeling is one of the best reasons to do a boudoir shoot now.

You have discovered a new confidence and using boudoir to capture it will make it last and give you the best keepsake, as you can look back at it anytime when you feel the need to.

Because you are looking for a challenge to grow.

(c) Scandaleuse Photography

This is for you, beautiful overachiever, always looking for challenges! We know you haven’t had a chance to get much of this lately and you must be craving it. How about trying something new that not a lot people can wrap their head around?

You get to feel great about yourself AND get this thrill of excitement and pride, with a rebellious touch (it's the best kind, let's be honest).

Because you will get busy soon enough and won't have time for it.

While it may not feel like it at the moment, we will get back outside and go on with our lives sooner rather than later. Before you know it, your schedule will get busier and busier and you just won't have time to set aside this beautiful time to yourself.

If you've been wanting to try boudoir, take advantage of this situation to get it done. Yes, we are open by the way. 😉

So, what’s it gonna be, Scandal?

At the end of the day, the minute you feel this little “ping” in your heart, your gut, your head, telling you that, “hey, a boudoir shoot would be great for you”, that is more than enough of a reason to do it. And our door is right open for you, with a red carpet.

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Artistic Nude VS Erotism

If we had won a dollar every time we explained the difference between artistic nude and erotism, we will be rich by now!

The education around nudity is very important to us and there is so much to talk about, so it would be really easy to go off on a tangent. We will try to only talk about today's topic, but we think it is important to understand why so many people are confused about those two types of photography, and how it can impact their decision to do a boudoir shoot.

Nudity is your friend

We are in 2021 but yet there is still a lot of misunderstanding around the naked body. For a lot of people nudity = sex = shame. From a very young age (depending the culture and country we grew up in) we were forced to cover up all the time and see our nude body only when it was time to clean ourselves, and later on, a leading way to sexuality. So we did not learn to undress for other purpose than bathing and sex.

But nudity is NATURAL, we are born naked. We also forget that our skin is a vessel which protects everything that keep us strong and alive: our bones, muscles, nerves, and organs… There is nothing sexual and shameful about that.

Unfortunately this belief is a big problem in our society as it creates a lot of misinformation, fear, and unnecessary pressure.

Why is it related to boudoir?

To do a Boudoir shoot you have to show some skin (otherwise it is a classic portrait session), or if you want to, be fully naked. Because of this specificity, some people oversexualize it. Also since boudoir was mostly shot by men a few years ago, people got used to see pictures of women in sexual poses, which did not help.

For someone who never had a boudoir shoot done before, and who recently decided to take back their sensuality and femininity, this wrong idea of boudoir might be too intimidating or scary, and might make them change their mind about trying this experience thinking it is not for them.

Which will be too bad as boudoir is such an empowering adventure!

So what is the difference between artistic nude and erotism?

By now we are sure you can probably answer it yourself… SEXUALITY IS THE DIFFERENCE. Not the location, not the artistic perspective, or the model, but sex!

• Artistic nudes are tasteful images of naked body. Period.

  The fact it involves nudity does not make it sexual!

• Erotism (and p🍑rn) are all about sexual acts, from touching genitals to the grand finale, with everything in between.

via GIPHY

Yes, it is that simple :)

Set yourself free, get naked!

We praise nudity to all of our client. We believe everyone need to have a beautiful picture taken of themselves fully naked, to learn to see their body in a difference perspective, and see how beautiful they are. Doesn't matter their age or body type.

Being naked gives you a powerful feeling of freedom.

Here is a little homework for you: whenever you can, and have some time by yourself, take off your clothes. All of them. You can be at home, or in nature is even better. If you are not ready for full nudity, then start topless. We promise you, it will feels good.

LOOKING TO FEEL BETTER IN YOUR OWN SKIN BUT NOT QUITE READY FOR BOUDOIR? SIGN UP BELOW TO GET OUR “WHAT TO EXPECT FOR YOUR BOUDOIR SHOOT” PDF! ⬇️

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You are who you surround yourself with

Wilferd Arlan Peterson once said: “Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.”

As some of you know, Juliette and I have been friends for almost 12 years. If we have stuck around each other for so long it is because we bring the best out of each other. We share the same values, have a lot of things in common, but we also have different personalities… We complete each other.

Of course we are not saying our relationship is perfect, all pink and glittery, it does happen we argue from time to time. But none of us is dramatic, and we are both open to each other feelings. This is, in our opinion, the best type of relationship you can have with someone.

Relationships aren't easy

Healthy relationships are a lot of work and commitment.

When you care about people in your life, you need to make time for them, be there for the best but also the worst, put your ego on the side, express your feeling and improve your communication, while putting down boundaries for yourself.

It is for sure not an easy process, but once you find the right people for you, they are worth the effort!

Energies are contagious

Does it ever happen to you that you are having a great time, feeling super happy and joyful, until you start talking to someone or just notice that person, and suddenly you feel down and sad? It feels like out of the blue that happiness was stolen from you. Energies are contagious and some people, sometimes intentionally, can drain you emotionally.

That is why it's very important to surround yourself with people who bring only positivity in your life.

You can choose to keep or let go of relationships

They say who we surround ourselves with, we become… And they are right. Your life is too important to through away the opportunity to become your best self and to have the life you deserve, because you make the mistake to spend time with people who are not good for you.

Fortunately you can make the decision to sort out your relationships and choose who you want to spend quality time with! It can be a heart breaking process, but at the end of the day it is needed.

Both Juliette and I, had to make that difficult choice at some point. The last painful one I can share with you happened in 2018. Juliette and I went to a workshop about femininity and the speaker said something I will always remember (she made us do this following exercise):

“Close your eyes. Think about all the aspects of your life and all of the things you have accomplished so far. How do feel about each of them?”

During that exercise, I thought about how much I am happy with Scandaleuse, how much I love my life in Canada and all my amazing friends. I thought about my family, that I miss them but how so supportive they are. Then I thought about my relationship with my partner of that time, and suddenly all I could feel was sadness, anxiety, and anger. I knew at that moment it was the end! This is when I took the decision to stop that long term relationship I was in. He wasn't a bad person, and I was really in love with him but something wasn’t working anymore and love wasn't enough to fix it. So I had to take the hardest decision of my life but I don’t regret it.

You need to know yourself first!

Letting go of someone is such a difficult step but 100% needed if you feel that relationship is bringing you down, whether it comes from a good friend, a lover or a family member. Here are a few steps to make this process easier:

• Visualize the life you want and find people who share the same values.

• Listen to your guts and identify how people around you make you feel.

• You feel something is wrong, try to understand why.

• Talk to the person about how you feel.

• Look for a solution but don't hesitate to check out if you feel like it.

When it comes to your feelings and happiness, you have the right to be selfish. It does not matter if the person is nice or depressed, if you are in love or staying because it is convenient, you cannot let fear, guilt, or compassion, dictate your needs.

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Why did we open a boudoir photography business?

Hi you!

We are Fanny and Juliette, two frenchies living in Toronto since 2013, and Scandaleuse Photography's mommies. Today we want to re-introduce ourselves in case you are new in our community or you want to know more about us.

A little bit of our personal life.

31 and 29 years old. Capricorn and Pisces. Both spiritual and vegetarian. When we are not shooting our badass scandals, you can find us climbing a pole or doing some drops (sounds weird, let us clarify: two of our favourite hobbies are pole dance and aerial silk 🎪).

We have been friends since 2009. Our strong friendship started near Paris, in photography school. What helped us bond? Probably our love for vino & cheese, and coffee & pastries (food, food, food… on n’est pas françaises pour rien!). Also the fact we are both bold and pretty stubborn was a big trigger for what we are about to tell you…

Throwback summer 2012: we were both in transition. Between being done with school, not knowing what to do next, and a big desire to get out of our home country. We had that idea to go live in London (England) but without really a moving date in mind. Early September, same year, I received a call from Juliette:

“I found cheap train tickets to London, departure in 2 weeks, what do you wanna do?”

I probably thought about it for 3 seconds, “let's do it!” I said. Suitcases packed, 2 weeks later we were in the train to London, nothing else ever felt so natural before that. It was meant to be!

Then, Scandaleuse was born!

Our time in London was a lot of fun (with a few struggles on the road, but those are part of any adventures), until it was time to change country again. Our choice: Canada 🍁.

Moving forward 2015, Toronto (if you want to know the details about London and our move to Canada, click here):

After spending 10 years working for other people (yes, we started working at a young age!) in divers field, we had that huge craving to open our own business rather than keep working for other people's dreams.

The only obstacle standing in our way (beside the fear of starting this big project 😱) was for me (Fanny) to get my permanent residence, which took me a while to get but eventually made it happen!

Remember when we shared about our love for food, well we took the decision to open our business over coffee and pastries (we also found the name over food… and most of our tons of ideas)!

via GIPHY

So why boudoir photography? Why going for such a small niche instead of the traditional portrait or wedding? Well for a few reasons:

• We were both fascinated by the woman body while being in photography school and we were kinda shooting boudoir already without knowing it was called boudoir (the story of boudoir photography is very interesting, check it out here).

• We are not traditional women to begin with, so choosing to do another type of photography just because it will be easier was not our jam. We like challenges, and on top of that we love to do what we are passionate about!

• But most importantly we wanted to change the face of boudoir photography that was (and unfortunately still is for most studios) not very inclusive. All we could see was those gorgeous and photoshopped professional models, standing on beds, in hotel rooms, in either very cute poses or sexual ones.

We were honestly tired to only see what we just described. Since nobody was making a change, we decided to shoot boudoir in our own way:

Making it accessible to every genders, body types, and ages!

We wanted to create an experience where people would be able to be 100% themselves, and where they could learn to like their body THE WAY IT IS. Then something magical happened… We realized that on top of creating beautiful images and spreading body love, we were also changing our scandals’ life. Because boudoir photography is not just about having beautiful pictures of yourself, it makes you feel like you can conquer the world and go after what you want in life. We are lucky to stay in touch with most of our clients, who share their life transformations. A few months after their shoot, we heard people quitting their job, leaving their relationship that was not working anymore…

When you take the decision to strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else can stop you from building the life you want 😄

Boudoir photography is a powerful experience that transforms you in a such amazing way, and makes you want to live your life fully. If you never try, we highly recommend it.

Even if Juliette and I made it happen with hard work, patience, and perseverance, we are so grateful to be able to follow our passion, and meet badass people with different style, and life story.

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The hidden benefits of boudoir photography

When boudoir photography is brought to the table, it comes with its load of assumptions. In people’s minds, it falls into at least one of the following: it has to be a pin-up style; it's superficial; it's made to arouse someone else and get attention ; it's for perfect bodies ; it’s sexually suggestive ; it’s just to learn to like your body, and so on.

None of those apply in reality. Boudoir photography is a tool to help you reconnect with your essence while challenging yourself. Reading this, maybe you are like “Yeah, ok ladies, thanks for the cookie-cutter bullshit instagram quote”, but bear with us, as we are explaining what we mean right now.

You get in touch with a part of you you've never seen.

We don't walk around naked, half naked, or in lingerie at home. Many of us strictly undress with a purpose (showering, intimacy…), but you don't just chill half naked. It's not what we are taught, it's not appropriate. We are taught modesty and even shame around nudity. So we are not really facing our most vulnerable state (aka being naked) very often.

And this makes us miss out on one of our best strength and feeling: comfort and freedom in our own skin.

Seriously, who doesn’t want to feel free?

A boudoir shoot is the opportunity to get comfortable with nudity. You technically have a “purpose” to justify this nudity in your brain, as the final goal is to get photos done. So you think about the final photos instead of putting pressure around what you look like naked. And before you know it, it is giving you a direct access to this feeling of freedom.

We see it at every single shoots with our clients: they all start with the outfits with the most layers, and by the end of the session, they're just walking around fully naked. The difference of energy in them is drastic: they reached that point of comfortability in their own skin that many people can't access.

It's a challenge, but it's an accessible one.

Comfort zones are not made to stay in forever, just like we are not made to stay the same forever. At some point, we all crave from new experiences to better ourselves and bring back some excitement in our lives. For some, this translates in radically changing their lives by booking a one-way ticket to the other side of the world for example. But you don’t need to do crazy big moves to sparks things up. Boudoir photography is one of the opportunities to challenge yourself positively, without having to make an insane commitment.

It's a “short” experience with a strong impact. And you can reap its benefits forever.

It is even stronger now that Covid has joined our lives for the past year. Our routines are severely impacted and extremely redundant for the majority of us. If there is a time to try something new, it is now.

You get a taste of femininity.

Femininity is a really strong energy we all have. Yet, it is often labeled as “weak” for no reason whatsoever. Femininity has nothing to do with wearing dresses and whatnot, or even with just being a woman since all human beings have a feminine side. It’s an attitude, an energy.

Feminine energy is the art of Being instead of DOing. You're not hustling. You're not trying to get anything done. You are just living in the moment, fully.

You are going into a warm bubble where you feel whole and at peace, two things we all can never get enough of. A boudoir shoot is an excuse to schedule this time to yourself, even for a couple of hours. No outside noise, no tasks to do but just let yourself go.

If you want to learn further, feminine energy goes hand in hand with sensuality, in which we talk about right here.

We can only wish for you to experience this sense of sensuality and femininity. It will unlock a lot more than you'd think in your wellbeing.

This list can go on forever. As you can imagine, there are tons of additional benefits connected with the simple act of doing a boudoir shoot. Some will hit you more than others.

If there is one thing you need to remember from this blog post, it is that a boudoir photoshoot is a way to make you experience feelings you don't usually get, despite needing them deeply.

If you are curious about gifting yourself this opportunity, you can check out our details right here:

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