Sensuality 101

Let's get liberated today!

Sensuality can be a scary topic for some people as it is common to believe it is only related to sex, and usually used as a weapon for seduction. Even if both are connected (when you learn to develop your sensuality, you learn to be in touch with your body the way it is, which opens up your sexuality), sensuality is also so much more than sex.

It is the ability to feel deeply connected to all our senses, and experience life in a more beautiful and energetic way.

It is time to demystify sensuality

If you Google it, you will read the common definition of sensuality is:

The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

But sensuality is also defined as the ability to feel in touch with our touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste and any extrasensory perceptions beyond our five commonly recognized senses.

If sensuality is often interpreted as sexuality, it is because of that one thing they have in common. PLEASURE. What can be more difficult to understand is this notion of pleasure: some things can give you sexual pleasure and others can be pleasurable without sexual desire.

Sensuality can increase your sexual behaviour but can also be about enjoying simple pleasures, such as watching a sunset, flavourful food, a massage, a perfume or any particular smell, a yoga pose, feeling the sun on your skin… Anything that makes you feel great in the moment but isn't related to sex.

You gotta embrace it!

As women we heard it all:

“Be polite. Dress up properly. Be a good girl!".

Most of us have been told to never be too loud because people will think we are hysterical. We have been told to not take too much room otherwise we are just showing off. Neither to show too much skin because we are whores if we do. So we cover ourselves up, forget how to be in touch with our femininity and let our true essence disappears. And for what? Because we feel like we have to please others all the time, and are afraid of people's judgment.

Not loving our whole-self enough leads to frustration, jealousy and sadness. How can we expect to be happy and live the life we want, when we are filled with all those negative feelings?

Learning to embrace sensuality (btw, we are all sensual beings!) is a way to start feeling in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence and trust in others. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition. Not that bad hey!

Sensuality = Femininity

It doesn't matter what we identify to, we all have a feminine and masculine side. Sensuality is a powerful tool to dig deeper into your feminine energy. If you feel like you are more in touch with your masculinity, exploring your sensuality will help you understand and bring back more of your feminine side into your life.

It is very easy to do! You will read below that there are many ways to embrace your sensuality, all you need is to keep an open mind about experiencing life.

Different ways to explore sensuality

When at peace with your whole-self, you are less likely to feel stressed in your every day life. You also don't feel the need of external validation: what people can think of you does not matter anymore. It creates a new level of self-love and confidence.

As said before, there many possibilities to experience sensuality:

• Movement:

  Can be some yoga, stretching, dance, a walk in nature,… Moving your body every day is amazing for so many aspects of your life, one of them being sensuality. When you move, you have to be aware of every inches of your body. Every muscles, and nerfs get activated, which makes you feel more in touch with yourself. It also allows you put all your energy around your hips which makes you feel so powerful and sexy.

• Food:

  Big foodies here! We are both from France, so let us tell you that you how much food means to us. France has a fabulous culinary reputation and it is for a reason: french cuisine is all about flavours and smells, forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas. We learnt to educate our palate, so when we try exquisite food, it can feel like non-sexual orgasms.

• Clothing:

  Every shapes, colours, and textures you choose to wear can tell a lot about who you are, and what you enjoy in life. Clothes are a powerful tool for confidence and sensuality, it is like wearing a second skin. When you were pieces that make you feel good about your body, or the way you look, you unlock your emotions and allow yourself to be who you want to be.

• Nature:

  Our world is a beautiful place and need to be cherished. Next time you go outside, be aware of everything around you: the sounds, colours, shades of lighting, movement created by the wind, smells, feel the sun on your skin… Feel the energy of Life. How does it make you feel?

• Boudoir photography:

  Can you think of a more powerful way to develop your sensuality than boudoir photography? Having (pardon our french) the balls or vulva to show vulnerability by posing half naked in front of two strangers (AKA us), and still feel badass and empowered, is pretty impressive!

Now you just have to go for it!

“I never thought that sex was wrong, sinful, dirty. When you take away the thought of things being dirty or forbidden, then you can really enjoy your sensuality.” Gioconda Belli

Sensuality as a way to experience a deep peace within yourself, to feel alive and fulfill. When you embrace it, it makes you feel like you can do anything.

The world become your oyster.

And guess what?! When you feel like you can do anything, you actually start doing stuff that make you happy and 100% yourself. It is like a magical kick in the bum!

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I edited my photos and I regret it

If you follow us on Instagram, you saw that Fanny and I shared some of our earliest work as photographers. What was meant to be an endearing, loving and funny post brought out an interesting realization for me: I am not able to tell on which photos I edited my body. And I deeply regret it.

The quick fix of photo editing

I started fiddling with editing softwares when I was about 15, back in 2007. At first, it was just to create little emo montages to put on my blog (yes I'm this old).

Then, I found some tutorials to alter reality and change proportions. And of course, my deeply insecure teenaged self didn't wait 2 minutes before applying it to my face and my body. Like many teenagers, my weight was the main source of my insecurities. So I went to town, shrinking my waist, my cheekbones, my legs and removing anything I thought was a flaw.

Did it make me feel better? For a split second, absolutely. I got the outside validation from my peers, I convinced myself it was better this way, which was enough for me. I was actually quite good at editing and nobody noticed. Plus, it was the early days, our eyes weren't used to spot this kind of editing.

What I didn't realize is that I was heavily feeding my insecurities.

2012 - No idea if I edited myself or not, deleted the original.

The danger of building an alternate you.

Slapping filters, changing your body: it is never just a one-off.

Once you start, it only gets worse. It is never enough. Think about it, you found an easy way to fix one "flaw", of course you are gonna find ways to fix another. And then you gonna dive in into parts of yourself you didn't have anything against, but it needs to match the rest of the edited you so… a vicious cycle begins.

I distinctly remember snapping a little auto-portrait when I was about 16 and editing everything so much that I ended up changing the size of my eyes. The. Size. Of. My. Eyes.

I remember looking at this and thinking "who the f*ck is this".

This was one of the first steps that rang a bell to me and said “Jules, you went too far". I never published this photo and I wasn't able to find it, chances are I deleted a few years ago because of that reason.

You would think that this would have led my path to self-acceptance, that I stopped editing and unicorns started dancing around me. HA!

Nope. I just transferred this virtual version of me to my real life.

2011 - Edited my waist - Beautiful proof of my body-dysmorphia as I found myself fat.

I wanted to be this virtual version I created in real life.

I got that editing was bad for me but not for the right reasons. I twisted this to "I can't edit myself anymore because it makes me feel bad, so I'm gonna change my body in real life". This was the peak of my body-dysmorphia journey and it lasted way until my mid-2os.

I was just "too fat", all the time. Losing weight didn't make a difference, i didn't see it.

It started impacting my every day life, making me not eat before taking photos, not letting people take pictures of me, controlling everything as much as I could, something that I still do to this day when I'm feeling unsafe. I am extremely lucky that I didn't develop obsessive eating disorders, I honestly have no idea how I dodged it with this way of thinking.

Walking away from this required a lot of different seeds to stop acting like an idiot.

Many of those amazing women we get to work with on the daily.

1) Letting others show me.

We are in 2011. I am photographing more and more women I find absolutely stunning while they don't technically check the beauty standard boxes blasted in front of us. They're confident, they're open about their insecurities and they don't let them dictate their lives. I see them shine during my shoots and I'm impressed.

they planted the first seeds in my brain that I could actually accept myself the way I was too.

Then I meet other women just as beautiful but not as confident and it blows my mind. I find myself believing in and encouraging THEM to shine. And I must be doing something right because it works and they believe me. Even more so, a fire starts within them and I'm loving it.

And one day, it clicks: if I see their beauty at first glance and they don't, is there a chance I'm doing the same for me? Just like that, I planted the next seed: the one that shows the lack of accuracy of negative self-talk and that I shouldn't let it take over.

2) Starting aerial silks and changing my perspective.

By this time, we are in 2013, I'm 21. I haven't edited my body in years, but instead, I simply hide it in every way I can. Out of sight, out of mind. But I'm about to plant another seed for myself without knowing: I start aerial silks.

What's the point, you may wonder?
It made me see that my body is a strong ass one, more than just an appearance.

It starts changing too, it gets fitter, things I didn't know was an option. I don't see it as much as a flawed thing anymore, it impresses me. I knew that I had to capture that in case it faded away, so I can have a keepsake. So I did. I still have this photo in my apartment and look at it often.

3) Opening Scandaleuse and stopping the hypocrisy.

I'm 25 now, I'm just starting to embrace myself the way I should. Fanny and I are brainstorming ideas about Scandaleuse. We both have this deep passion around highlighting women's beauty, especially when they don't see it.

Boudoir is the way we chose but it is still much easier to do it for others than myself. So before we even opened anything, something pushed me out of my comfort zone and I asked Fanny to shoot my first ever boudoir shoot to know what it would feel like.

Of course, I fell RIGHT BACK into my old habits: I asked to shoot at 7am to make sure I wasn't bloated, before I had eaten anything. I had a very hard time to let go and I even edited some photos (“it was just some unflattering shadows” (no it wasn't))

Photo from this shoot. Pretty sure I edited my stomach here.

Not only did it make me feel like absolute garbage to do this but this was also the first time Fanny told me I was wrong, in calm, almost sad, way.

You see, I had never anybody who actually told me that. I have had people dismissing my concerns with the flicker of a hand many times, but no one actually sat me down and tried to tell me that I might see myself in the wrong light, especially someone I deeply trusted. Fanny planted one of the biggest seeds I needed and I don't think she knows it. I'm so glad she did.

I realized I couldn't open a business about self-acceptance and kicking beauty standards in the balls if I wasn't willing to do it myself.

And if there is one thing that I can't accept, it is being a hypocrite.

It was even more important than my insecurities, it just wasn't an option. From this moment, I decided it was time to change. I never edited myself again after this.

So, is it healed?

Mostly, yes. But I don't believe it will ever go away fully. I still have moments when old habits come back and I'm tempted to edit something or cancel a shoot because I feel fat. But I force myself not to. I force myself to look at it all because going backwards would make me the biggest hypocrite, and like I said, this isn't an option.

And you know what? The “flaws” I see one day are rarely here the next. Because that's how it works with insecurities: they depend on many other factors that have nothing to do with your body. Understanding this as helped me DETACH from it all. I'm not feeling my best? It's okay, it will be back.

There you have it. This is probably the blog post that took me the most energy. Writing this all is leaving me with a deep sense of appreciation. I've come a long way and will need constant reminders, but it's okay. If you are on the same boat, I hope reading my story will help. And of course, if you feel like you're ready to get the ultimate kick in the butt with a boudoir shoot, we are here for you!

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More blog posts on the topic

Dealing with Body Insecurities

The mind is powerful. It is capable of making you believe you see things a certain way and turn it into a fact. That's why, sometimes, you can feel some sort of weight on your heart just thinking about something you don't like about yourself. Maybe it developed over time or maybe your "friend" Jessica made one comment out of spite when you were in grade 5 and it just stuck with you until your thirties. 

All of these can make you see yourself and your body in a way that could be quite far from reality or could just affect the way you live your life. And in the end, it doesn't really matter how they got there. What matters is how you deal with them.

Here are 6 tips to help you say bye bye to your insecurities and start giving your body and mind some lovin'! 

1) Understand that the vision of your body is rarely accurate.

Many many MANY outside factors can affect the way you see your body. Stress, hormones, change in your routine, or diet, lack of sleep… All of these and many more can give you a heavily distorted vision of your appearance. The best favour you can do yourself is to remind yourself of this when you have having a shitty body day.

Body-dysmorphia is also extremely common among us. Go check out our blog post about it if you want to learn more.

2) Avoid comparing yourself to others. 

Comparing yourself to someone else is as easy as it is toxic, whether it is on a physical or a mental level. It's also very hard to stop once you get started.

So, if you catch yourself falling into this rabbit hole, remember that you do not know what is going on in someone's life, just like they don't know about yours, making it impossible to compare anything fairly.  So what's the point of even going down that road? All it is going to do is create pressure, unachievable goals and potential jealousy. And you don't have time for this, you have great things to do!

Put down your phone, stop creeping on people you barely know & learn to become your own measurement system. Base your growth on what YOU and only you can do.

You are the only person you have to be proud of and it is much easier to do when you don't have the noise coming from the outside world. 

3) If you can't give your body some love, focus on giving it appreciation. 

All of this beautiful talk about loving your body the way it is sounds amazing, but some days, you just can't. And it is okay. It happens to everyone, nobody can love themselves all the time. But instead of talking trash about yourself, focus on bringing some appreciation for what you body does for you, aside from its appearance.

For example, I used to spend so much time deprecating my arms. I found them too big, not feminine. And sometimes I still do. Except that now, when I catch myself spiralling again, I remind myself of what my arms allow me to do. Maybe I have bigger arms that what is considered "aesthetically pleasing" for women, even though this is a BS society standard that has no legs to stand on. But thanks to my "big” arms, I can carry my weight in the air like a circus ninja and around a pole and I wouldn't change this for the world.

This recipe works for absolutely everything. Every negative side comes with a positive one. You have the option to decide how to look at it.

I don't know about you, but focusing on the down side is a complete waste of time, counter productive, and is definitely not the way to build your happiness.

4) Learn to accept compliments

Ha, that's something we definitely noticed, especially with women. It is considered SO not humble to accept a compliment that you HAVE to counter it with something negative to balance it out. Does that ring a bell?

What if you just said "thank you” and appreciated the compliment instead? Oh, it will feel weird at first, but only because you are conditioned to go against it. Like above, practice makes perfect and no, it doesn't make you a superficial b*tch.

Also, Some studies have shown that it takes 5 positive comments to remove the impact of 1 negative one. What if we just opened our damn ears to the good ones?

Chances are, if you are surrounded by caring people, they have shown their love and honesty towards you. They may have even tried to convince you that your insecurity was untrue. Why not believe them?

5) Stop covering up

This one is more related to physical appearance. Instead of avoiding your body insecurities, challenge yourself by facing them. Don't try to hide them, it won't help.

You have to figure out a way to highlight them, to bring a new light and perspective so you can make peace with them.

For example: stopping yourself from wearing an outfit you really like is not the way to deal, quite the opposite. Don't let these insecurities win!

It doesn't have to be big challenges, you can start small! A random example would be, if you'd like to decrease the amount of makeup you use, you can start by staying makeup free at home before taking it outside. Or even, lighten your makeup one day at a time…

It doesn't matter how big the step is, what matters is that you take it.

6) Explore your sensuality.

Learning to embrace your sensuality is a way to start feeling in harmony with your body to find peace and confidence. And if you are thinking you are as sensual as a kitchen pot then you definitely need to keep reading: we ALL have the potential to be sensual. Period. Which means you too, you just need a little more practice!

Your body needs to move and be acknowledged. Use that energy, that fire you have within you: dance, hug yourself, wear clothes that make you feel sexy, try new makeup or hairstyle…. Check out our blog post about sensuality for extra info!

Body love and appreciation is hard, just like creating any positive habits. But you are just as capable as your next door neighbour to do this. Is it a little finicky at first? Yes. Will you feel a bit silly to begin? Yes. But is it worth it? Damn right. You should be your own best-friend, after all, you are here for the long-run with yourself, right?!

Treat yourself with kindness, you are pretty awesome.

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I don't orgasm often, and that's ok!

Friends, today we are getting very intimate… If you are following us on social media you saw Juliette and I naked or in lingerie many times, but today’s blog really makes me feel vulnerable.

I never thought I would ever write about that, but here I am… and geez this is scary! I think this is the only thing in my life I have a lot of shame about.

Beside this feeling of shame, there is also the fact that it makes me feel like a joke. I claim being this open-minded, sexual ,and sensual being but yet I have a hard time reaching to what is considered as the Holy Grail of sexuality.

I was lucky to grow up with my mom with whom I could talk about everything. But the Orgasm topic is a tough one, mostly because I grew up feeling like if you don’t orgasm easily you are broken. Even though I surrounded myself with loving people, I never talk about it with them. The only person who knows is Juliette, and recently a couple of other people from our community.

Their support is what’s pushing me to be vulnerable and share about it today. I am hoping my story will help other women (adults and teenagers included) feeling less alone, more at peace with the female orgasm, and the fact it is ok to not orgasm or less often than you are “supposed” to.

DISCLAIMER: I am not specialized in sexuality and I am not a doctor. Everything I am sharing with you here is just based on my own experience. If you are seeking physical or mental health advice please reach out to a specialist.

The female orgasms and the pressure around it

As the title mentioned I don't orgasm often. Well actually let me be more specific: I rarely orgasm when I have sex with men. When I am pleasuring myself it is not an issue because I know my body and what turns me on. But when I am with someone I get too much in my head and it rarely happens (to give you an idea what rarely means to me: I can count on one hand the number of orgasms I had with partners since I started to have sex).

I was 17 when I had sex for the first time, I am now 32. At that time the topic of orgasm was still taboo and subject to a lot of jokes. I have heard so many comments from people around me (or in the movies) like this one below:

“I pity women who cannot orgasm, it must be so awful! I hope it will never happen to me!”

Those jokes, awful discussions, and BS around the female pleasure are extremely shameful and put a lot of pressure on our shoulders (women are already dealing with so many shit, it is something more we don’t need!).

Growing up, my references (which were probably the same for you) for the woman’s pleasure were coming from:

• Magazines:

  I remember all of those articles on how to come faster, how to please your man, what to wear to be more sexy, what to do and not do during sex… All of those were just about appearance and performance, full of misinformation.

• Romantic movies (or adult ones):

  You know those intimate scenes where the characters are having sex and the woman comes in only a few seconds (she got her elbow touched and boom, orgasm!) Also, don't get me started on the lack of foreplay 😡.

So in my teenager/young adult mind, I believed orgasms had to happen during each intercourse and had to come fast. But this was never the case for me and I did not understand why. Talking about it to anyone was difficult as I was afraid to be laughed at, and judged.

Pride had also a huge part in my silence. I did not want to “admit something was wrong” with me since I was feeling like I had to “fix this broken part of me”. Showing vulnerability is something quite recent in the self-development journey. We grow up believing we have to be strong all the time and never show any signs of weakness.

I now understand and know that not orgasming like society tells you to doesn’t mean you are broken, but at that time I did not know better so I learnt to adapt: AKA I started to fake my orgasms (I can imagine a lot of you raising your eyebrows, thinking how wrong that is, and you are probably right. Faking doesn’t solve anything but sometimes it is the only solution you find to get a little bit of peace of mind).

Everyone is different.

As I already mentioned, I am a sexual person: talking about sexuality was never an issue, I starting to touch and discover my body from a very young age (I was under five if I remember correctly). I always considered sexuality as something natural because it is the education I received from my mom (which I am really grateful for).

It is important for me to share that information with you to put everything back into perspective. It is easy to believe that if a woman doesn't orgasm it is because she doesn't know her body well or she doesn't enjoy sex. Of course it can be, but it is not always the case. It can be physical, it can be mental, it can be both. It really depends of each individuals, and their story, past, trauma, mental blocks, education, religion, community, health…

If you don’t already watch Layla Martin’s video, I highly suggest you do it. Her videos are always really helpful to me!

Partners and communication.

I feel very self-conscious right now to write this part because I have some of my exes following Scandaleuse and probably reading our blogs. But I cannot let out what I am about to say as it is an important part of my story and I know a lot of women will relate.

I have had around 25 partners, some were long term relationship, others were one-night stands or short terms. And I faked with all of them, I am not proud of that fact but it is the truth.

So you might wonder, did they ever noticed. Maybe some of them did, but most of them did not. And the reason is simple: I have always been good at finding stratagems to avoid talking about this lack of orgasms. Such as faking, or knowing how to make them come faster so I did not have to come at all (because most men believe that once they are done, it means you are too so they don’t even bother taking care of you).

And if you are thinking: “Fanny, it would have been healthier to simply communicate with them rather than avoiding that conversation!”. Well, every time I open up the topic with some of my partners, they took it personally, they thought that with them it would be different (men are proud creatures!). They never fully listened or tried to understand, and they ended putting more pressure on me. So most of the time I got very discouraged and I kinda gave up (which is not a solution either).

On top of that my relationship with men has always been complicated. I never fully trusted my partners, so expressing your feelings and setting boundaries up when you don’t feel comfortable with someone makes the process of communication really difficult.

Sexuality is much more than achieving orgasms

Women, are emotional beings. Our mind and body are deeply connected, so if we don't feel safe, if we are anxious, or any other reasons to not feel good in the moment, our bodies will not react positively during sex, and it gets really difficult to let go. Which can create for example lack of orgasm or pain.

Women also store most of their past trauma in their womb area which can make sexuality (especially penetrative sex) quite emotional and difficult.

Sexuality should be an act of pure pleasure and not a race for the best performance. Yes, orgasms feel amazing but we should not pressure ourselves to always achieve the grand finale (all gender included!).

Not having an orgasm doesn’t mean it wasn’t pleasurable! I wish my partners were able to understand that, instead of feeling frustrated because they did not make me come. It is something so deeply rooted in our beliefs that even a honest conversion with them did not make a difference. They simply refused to believe I had still a great time despite not having an orgasm.

Pleasure, consent, respect, and communication should be taught at school

Some people are really good at communicating to their partner how they like to be touched, or how to say NO. For other peeps it is more tricky.

I wished my sex education at school was deeper than using protection and fearing STDs. I wished they had taught us about other things that are as important like body discovery, pleasure, consent, respect, and communication. But because so many part of the sexuality are hidden from kids and teens, they use porn as their main reference (we did too), and porn is not the reality.

A better sex education would have been be game changer for many adults, it would have cut off so much shame around this subject.

Writing about this was much needed!

I haven’t published this blog yet and still feel nervous about it. The main reason why I waited so long before sharing this part of me with anyone is because I was afraid it will become a label. That people will stop seeing me as “Fanny who has a big heart and cares about the environment” and instead see me as “Fanny who cannot orgasm.” But someone told me:

“Well there is a higher chance they will see you as The Woman Who Dares To Talk About iI!”.

How powerful is that? 🤯.

I am not really giving you any solution here, because I am still searching what could work for me (but I already have an action plan - that is the business woman talking inside me). I am just hoping that if you relate to this blog it will help you in anyway possible.

By the way, here is what my action plan is if it can inspire you:

• Opening my sexuality up to other genders: I always considered myself as pansexual and always thought I am interested by people rather than what they have between their legs, I just never had the opportunity to experience with another gender than cis male.

• Choosing my partners better: I know what I want in my relationships so I have been “filtering” my potential lovers for a little while now. Even if it means being single for longer than usual.

• Listening to my guts: We have a very strong and natural instinct that we unfortunately don’t listen to. So many times I had a little voice in my head and heart telling me to be careful because there was something weird with a person, or the situation was not right, and I chose to not listen and obviously got burnt. Well not anymore, now I am listening to my guts: if I don’t trust, I don’t go for it.

• Learning to communicate better about my sexual needs: this one is hard for me, I never knew how to explain what I like or not to my partners, and I have forced myself so many times because I didn’t dare to say no or change the dynamic.

I really hope this blog will be helpful. You are not alone! Do not feel ashamed anymore or scared to talk about it with people you trust and love.

I am more than happy to talk about it publicly or privately for people who wanna have the conversation. You can reach out by email or social media 💛

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The Female Collective: the power you need to join.

A little while ago, we came across a story of an actress who had some risqué photos, taken a few years before for a magazing, resurfacing. While she said she had nothing to be ashamed of and was actually proud of her photos (YES!), a wave of negative comments popped everywhere. You know, the classic judgy, borderline slutshaming kind.

While this is unfortunately common, we were surprised to see that the majority of those comments came from women.

So, while the media just screams “women supporting women” with a layer of pink glitter, it seems that when it comes to actually do it, we still have a bit to go.

Woman to woman hostility: why does it even happen to begin with?

Is it jealousy?

You must have heard growing up ”ugh, she's just jealous” when you got criticized by another girl, especially when it comes to a physical comment. Just because you get a nasty comment on your physique doesn’t mean it is because the other woman wants to look like you. We personally think it is an easy way to label it and it goes much deeper than “just” jealousy.

Heavy expectations

Gigantic expectations have been weighing on women for centuries. So much so that we have been deeply conditioned to think that certain things are acceptable for women, and some aren’t, for no good reason whatsover. It creates frustration that builds up so much over time that when someone dares to ignore those expectations, it just hurts too much that we couldn't do it and they could.

The fear of judgment

What is the #1 obstacle that makes us feel so small and intimidated when we want to try something new? The fear of being judged.

Many of us are terrified by the idea that someone points the finger at us laughing when you dare trying something outside the box. And what happens next? We give up before even starting, thinking it is not worth the risk. Once again, when someone gathers the courage to do something we put in the risky category and comes out the other end safe & sound AND happier, frustration comes into play.

The backlash this actress received had nothing to do with the actual photos of her body. They were about the fact that she did something considered “improper” but yet she looks beautiful & confident and she is owning it.

Something “bad” is not supposed to make you feel or look good and she went against that. That’s why the frustration monster popped its head out and when we don't acknolewdge it, it manifests into toxicity.

Women have already so many battles to fight, and there is one we can easily win: let’s stop turning on each other and empower each other instead.

The female collective: an endless source of power that benefit us all

When we are aware of those super-powers, this is when magic happens.

Working of the common good is our biggest strength.

The majority of us get higher energy when we know we contributed to the common good. Over the years, it got labelled as a maternal and nurturing instinct, making it more limited and not necessarily taken seriously.

But this is a major asset. Collective work is how changes happen. You can only go so far alone, and we got that many moons ago without even noticing.

Mastering the art of empowerment.

How many times have your friends given you the boost of confidence you needed? Out of these, how many times was it much stronger than your own pep talk?

Thanks to our ability to work for the common good, we have also developed another skill: creating a bulletproof support system. We can make anyone feel seen and appreciated in a matter of minutes.

We are the best cheerleaders and through this, we don't need to empower ourselves because someone is doing it for us while we empower someone else and so on.

Unstoppable - our project that illustrated it all

Everything we just wrote really sunk it our brains back in 2018 after witnessing it all for a couple years. We empowered women with our work and it empowered us back. So we decided to illustrate it by posing 12 women who didn't know each other, together, in a context deemed "inappropriate” to the outside world.

This project created such a peak of confidence and energy that we were all on cloud 9 for days. Those reminders are precious and very much necessary to keep building positive changes.

And we are doing again, bigger & louder this time.

Sign up for our newsletter below to get all of the updates, behind-the-scenes and join our community. We would be happy to be your support system. 😉

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Back to school: How to keep a positive body-image and stay sane

We are only a few days away from September, also known as the “back to school/get shit done”. For many of us, this is when we feel the shift for a new year. We are going back to to-do lists, productivity boost and even some resolutions so we can ace everything.

Don't get us wrong, we LOVE all of the above. It feels new & fresh. But it is very much mind-oriented and boom, just like that, we forget above all the love and work we have put into on our body-image until we wake up feeling crappy about it.

How can you keep building or maintaining your good-body image when you are about to shift your focus & all the fall treats are just around the corner?

Before you keep going, if you struggle with your body-image, you may want to check those other posts out:

- 📖 You deserve to love your body (again!)

- 📖 What to do when your body-image is down the drain.

Alright, let's dive in! Here are 5 tips for you to keep giving some loving to your hot’bod’ and stay sane!

Enjoy the damn treats.

Life is short and it is definitely not made to go on a drastic diet every chance you get. After summer, especially if you feel like you “let yourself go”, you may feel some anxiety now that the summer bubble has burst. If you feel the need to re-balance, sure, but don't stop yourself from enjoying all the beautiful treats that come with fall. Enjoy your Pumpkin whatever with a smile!

Remind yourself that you don't have to change anything if you don't want to.

It is so easy to fall into setting crazy expectations for yourself in this kind of back-to-school energy. Everything is a question of balance: you can ride that wave and create new little habits here and there if you feel the need to, but we are personally not on the team of “let's change everything because that way, I will be smarter, stronger, wonderwoman.”

Don’t create pressure on yourself or add extra weight on your shoulders. Think slowly, but steadily, just like the Tortoise! 🐢

Don't hide behind layers

You didn't gather the courage to wear all your summery outfits to go back to using clothes for hiding rather than for pleasure! Keep wearing whatever outfits make you feel amazing, especially because Fall fashion is lovely and then we all turn into puffy Barbapapas in winter.

Try something new (like -ahem- a boudoir shoot!)

Instead of thinking “I'm gonna become the most organized person ever”, how about “I should try something I've always wanted to do!” ?

Of course, we suggest trying a boudoir session, you know, before the tan fades away! 😉 Not only it is a great experience that gives you a huge confidence boost, but it is also one of the best ways to appreciate your body! If you are intrigued but unsure what to expect, you can have a look here or sign up for our newsletter below!

Create or maintain your self-care routines

Take advantage of this back-to-school energy to either:
– Create a new self-care routine that works for you, or;
- Make sure to keep a close look on the one you already have!

Summer is synonym of relaxing time for most of us. We're not afraid to spend extra time to take care of ourselves. Good news: it doesn't have to stop! Even if you can't sunbathe under the sun anymore, who says you can't replace it with something equally enjoyable?

Keep taking breaks, spend some “doing nothing” time, hell, schedule a massage for next week or something!

There you have it, you are now ready to keep your body-image on the positive side while kicking some butts! Now, go take care of yourself.

Keep in touch with us and get more some tips to rock your body & exclusive deals! ⬇️

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What to do when your body-image is down the drain.

We all have some days when we catch our reflection in the mirror and poof, a dark thought such as “ugh, I look terrible” just pops up. It makes us feel crappy, it can last for a few days, it can seem to appear out of nowhere and can be caused by thousands of factors who have nothing to do with any changes with your body.

We have discussed many times how you can deal with your body insecurities as well as why you deserve to love your body again, and today, we will targeting the off days when your body-image takes a turn on the negative side without any particular reasons.

What can you actually do when your body-image is not just doing it for you?

1) Wear a badass outfit and get dolled up.

You may be tempted to hide under sweatpants and greasy hair, but this is not the time for this. Bring some pampering back in the picture with a face or hair mask, a haircut, or even a massage and beat the negativity to the punch by wearing an outfit that you KNOW you look and feel great in.

If you avoid said outfits, you will only be feeding the beast and invite your temporary poor body-image to stick around longer.

We are not gonna let this win now, are we?!

2) Don't scrutinize your reflection in the mirror

When sh*t hits the fan and we feel like everything is wrong with our appearance, many of us (us included) have the tendency to just stare at it. Why? To make this uncomfortable feeling last longer? To make it grow? To teach ourselves some sort of lesson? You are a smart person, you don’t need to live pain twice to understand something, especially when you know this particular feeling can just be caused by something as simple as a hormonal fluctuation.

In those moments, it is much better to just acknowledge your reflection and tell yourself will come back to it once the crappy feeling fades.

And it will fade. On that note…

3) Remind yourself this feeling in temporary

Emotions and feelings come and go, sometimes with nothing else but time. You could wake up tomorrow and feel totally fine, so don’t sweat it, don't try to “fix” anything because there is nothing wrong with you to begin with. Ride the wave as peacefully as you can.

4) Distract yourself

This is also a great way to ride said wave. We are not talking about burrying yourself in work here, but more about bringing some fun back. Surround yourself with people you love, sign up for something that will bring a smile on your face, go get an awesome book to dive into, anything that can just bring a bit of butterflies in your tummy.

This will help you to keep things in proportion and bring back positivity from other sources.

Positivity spreads on everything, you will see very quickly that it will also fight this crappy body-image too, even if it is not directly related to it.

5) Avoid social media accounts that you know will make you compare yourself.

Your current body-image is not accurate at the moment. And constantly seeing people and bodies that you wish you could have is only going to make you compare yourself on the negative side. Once again, don't feed the beast!

6) BONUS: Film yourself for after the wave.

Have you ever looked at past photos of yourself and thought “wow, I thought I was so much fatter, skinnier, worse looking that I actually was, this is crazy!”.

A couple of weeks ago, I was down the rabbit hole of shitty body-image. I had a beach trip coming up and wearing my bathing suit made me very anxious, despite the fact that I had proudly bought it a couple of years before because it made me feel amazing afterhating bathing suits with my entire being for so long.

I had put on a bit of weight in the past year, and didn't feel good enough to wear it this time.

It made me so sad, as if I was undoing all the hard work I had done.

Said video for you my friends

But instead of giving in to this negativity, I tried my best to stay objective and I applied all of the advice above. After all, even if I did put on weight, I am not unhealthy, and secondly: I am sure I am making it much worse in my head that it actually is, like I have many times in the past. So I wore the damn bathing suit and I decided to film myself.

Can you guess what happened?

I look at this video now, and yes, I was seeing my body a lot worse than it actually was.

Point proven. This is going to be a new habit for me for next time, until my brain registers that yes, my body-image can be extremely inaccurate and so can yours.

You are now ready to face your next wave of negative body-image with flying colours. Remember to give yourself a break, patience and extra loving during those times. Even if we don’t like them very much, they are perfectly normal and useful to show what points that you can work on.

Like what you just read?

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You NEED a good body-image.

You NEED to be able to see your body in a positive light.⁣

Even better: you owe it to yourself. Our bodies are carrying us every single day, and yet, many of us reward it by talking to it negatively. The impact of a poor body-image is much stronger that what you'd think. It spreads on your mind and before you know it, you are limiting yourself on all levels in your life.

And it is time to change this, once and for all. ✊⁣

Improving your body image will lead you to become more confident, ready to enjoy your life, your way.

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Editing VS showing reality

Wandering on the internet, we came accross a fellow boudoir photographer asking for feedback regarding to one of her client’s session. Then, we saw something in the comment section that left a bit surprised:

We've written about our editing process about how, while we can remove anything that’s temporary (like pimples), we have personally chosen not to change bodies, edit scars, birthmarks, and other little things that make you, you. But that's just us.

In fact, many women actually don't post anything online before (heavily) editing it.

Hold on while we get our nice and shiny red flag.

Holding on to an edited picture of yourself may feel good in the short-term, but you're not doing yourself a favor on the long-run.

Here is why:

1) Hiding the real you is not gonna help you appreciate who you are.

The more filters and editing you use, the more you get accustomed to seeing yourself with them. Except we don’t have them in real life.

They’re not on your mirror, they’re not here when you are having a rough day. People don't see you with them. After getting used to apply filters everywhere, you feel like you created a physically “better” version of yourself and this ends up clouding your vision.

a simple reflection in the mirror could absolutely shatter your self-esteem since your notion of reality around your appearance is not accurate anymore.

On top of that, chances are you’re gonna have a rough time, as you get older, to get used to the changes your body and face will have. Those are inevitable and with the habit of editing everything, you could fall into a rabbit hole of self-loathing.

2) You may use the “edited you” as a standard to compare yourself.

It is very common to refer to old photos of ourselves and compare them with what we look like now. Sometimes, it's already not a very nice thought process, if you think you were “better” then.

With time, the memories blend in together. If you apply some edits, even smooth, on every pictures of yourself, you may forget to what extend you did and look back at those wondering why you “don’t look as good as you did then'‘. Except you'd be referring to something that isn't real to begin with.

3) By heavily editing your images, you are adding to the problem you are a victim of.

It is not news that the media has been spreading images edited beyond anything real. But it is not only media anymore, since it has become so easy to do it ourselves.

If you are a fellow user of those intense editing apps, you are contributing to the myth that bodies and faces have to be perfect.

There begins the vicious cycle:

Let’s be honest, you are editing yourself to look like other edited women who look perfect despite not being real. Other women in your circles might compare themselves to you and tweak their images to look as “perfect” as you do. And it keeps going. So not only aren’t you doing yourself a favor, but you are not doing other's a favor either.

So, how to get out of this editing hell?

1) Protect yourself from perfect-looking content.

Unfollow the accounts that shows exclusiely perfect bodies, skins and so on. None of these are real. Skin has pores, rolls, cellulite, hair, blemishes, wrinkles… That's the reality and it is A-OKAY! Replace them with positive accounts, showing the real deal (like ours ehehe). You will then train your eyes again to see the beauty in reality, which will spread on your beautiful self.

The more you remove those fake images around you, the more you will bring your notion of reality back to a healthy level.

2) Show the real you.

It may sound harsh, but the only way to break this cycle is to show the real you. Ditch the filters. Remove the editing.

You have the power to help yourself and other women by simply showing reality.

Of course, you don't have to show yourself straight out of bed, first day of your period, with something on your teeth! Just keep it simple.

There is nothing to be ashamed about your real face and body. There is nothing wrong with you.

By showing the real deal, you are saying “stop” to this unnecessary pressure around appearance. You are giving yourself the chance to exist in your own way. And that leads to more room to focus on who you are and who you want to become. Be a part of this positive movement, for yourself, but also for others! We can't really do it without you.

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You deserve to love your body (again)

We all have body insecurities. Yes, even that person in the corner that you think is perfect, they very likely doesn't like something about their body. Those can become bigger and bigger everyday and can really impact your life on a daily basis. But it doesn’t have to be. If there is one person can hit the brakes on those, it is you.

In order to develop body-acceptance and give yourself a break, there are a few things to consider and myths to debunk:

No, You don’t have to “LOVE” your body all the time (and it’s really hard to anyway)

With movements like body-positivity being spread around and sometime, used as a marketing tool, it is very easy to believe that if you don’t love your body every single day, then you’re “failing” at it. To be honest, we believe that it is impossible to love your body constantly, because we, as human and especially as women, are not feeling the same constantly.

We work in cycles, are guided by hormones & emotions and Those fluctuate on the daily, as they should. So you’re gonna have good days, and not-so-good days, and it is absolutely normal.

Instead of beating yourself up, spiralling and thinking that you’re just an ugly duckling during the not-so-good days, aknowledge them, remind yourself they will pass, try to stick to a healthy routine and give yourself a break.

Your body changes all the time.

On top of having our moods changing from one day to the other, our bodies can change on an hourly basis. Take our tummies for example, usually a soft spot for many people: you can wake up with a fairly flat belly and boom, 2 hours later, it’s doing its things and you’re bloated. Your body is always working and we need to stop being hard on it for doing so.

Instead of focusing on just the way your body looks, focus on nourishing it and giving it what it needs. By just doing that, you will slowly start to appreciate it more and more, and your vision will change on the positive.

Enjoy those pleasantly surprised looks in the mirror you will experience soon enough! 😉

You don’t have imperfections, you have a map of memories.

When you really think about it, isn’t your body a keepsake of everything you have been in life?

Scars, stretch marks, and other various changes, they are here to witness what you have been through.

• Stretchmarks prove the ability your body has to adapt to a new you.

• Scars are here to remind you that you can heal. You’ve done it before, you will do it again.

• Wrinkles are a testimonial to how much you've laughed, cried, smiled. How much you’ve been LI-VING. This should be celebrated, not criticized and shamed.

Work on detaching from the media’s beauty standards.

One of the best ways to start appreciating your body is to listen to what YOU want to do and not what society says you SHOULD do. Wear whatever you want, change your hairstyle, get tattoos, get physically stronger, shave, not shave, put makeup on and so on. If you feel like walking around naked for the hell of it, then so be it.

Decisions about your body and appearance are yours and only yours to make. Re-read that, write it down, staple it somewhere!

You will be much happier the minute you start making decisions about yourself for yourself. So go, dye your hair blue, wear that dress you love, stop shaving your armpits if it makes YOU happy.

By the way, A boudoir shoot is a great way to say “screw it, my body is pretty awesome”. 😉

If you're tempted but are not sure what to expect, sign up below to get our secret pdf with all of the answers! ⬇️

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Why your photos shouldn't be edited

In the photography industry, editing has always been a major part of the final images. We make the skin looking perfect, make sure everything symmetrical, we adjust bodies… Even to the niche that boudoir is, many photographers play by those rules. We personally don't. We don't believe people should be edited on photos and here is why…

Reason #1: because it’s not you.

One of the many reasons why you may be in front of a lens would be to get comfortable with your image. If said image is altered, what’s the point of even doing it? You may look back on those photos and say “I look great" but you will always have this after thought of “but that’s not really me". If anything, it may end up making you sad that you are not version.

Keeping your images editing and filters free will teach you to appreciate your appearance the way it really is.

And what does that lead to? Self-confidence, yay!

Reason #2: because those perfect bodies don't exist.

We say it, we read it: perfect bodies don't exist. But yet, some days, it is easy to forget, especially on social media with all of those accounts saying “look at me, I'm just like you, an everyday person!” but yet every single photo is perfect looking.

Real bodies come in all shapes in sizes. They come with rolls, with scars, cellulite, wrinkles & stretch marks.

We have been taught for way too long that all of these are flaws while they are just normal. It's about time they become the norm and are showed more often.

Reason #3: because the more we show reality on our end, the more the media will pick up on it and do the same.

We can say every negative thing about social media, there is one positive angle: they are what we make them. Meaning it is also in our power to turn them into something positive. Many companies (the smart ones!) have changed the approach regarding marketing to their customers thanks to what has been trending online such has body-positivity. Of course, that also came with sneaky companies pretending to be a certain way when they're not, but that has been happening since the beginning of time.

There is a true craving for authenticity for every single market, and it is a beautiful thing (most of the time).

So, what do we personally do as photographers?

Our editing policy is simple:

1) we pose you accordingly in flattering poses, for your body.

2) we remove anything that is temporary, such as blemishes, bruises, scratches and so on, with a very mild skin smoothing edit to remove any shininess. Anything that isn’t part of you every day.

We used to be a bit more “open” to editing, especially while doing certain poses that could make body parts bigger for example. But we have never executed this, because we never felt the need to and our models never asked anyway!

Seeing edited images constantly feed everyone's body insecurities. If it feeds yours, remind yourself that you have the power to change this outcome. Everytime you share a photo of you that's not touched up, you are inspiring someone else to feel comfortable the way they are. Pretty neat, right?

Looking to feel better in your own skin but not quite ready for boudoir? Sign up below to get our “what to expect for your boudoir shoot” PDF! ⬇️

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