Grief, rediscovering yourself and newfound confidence

Back in 2019, we met the fabulous Hallae for one of our boudoir shoot and we had the pleasure to shoot with her 2 more times :)… It is always nice to take pictures of the same Scandal over the years and see their transformation!

A few years ago, she was interviewed by She Does The City to talk about how the loss of her mother shattered her; and how, amidst the grieving process, she’s had to devote time to rediscover herself. Hallae is such a badass human being and today we are super happy to share this interview with you 😁

2019 - Hallae first boudoir shoot with us!

How would you describe your sexuality?

After my mom’s death and the breakup of a long-term relationship shortly afterwards, I didn’t feel sexual at all. But then I saw my body in some Knixwear photos and saw the comments, and that broke down one barrier: my body wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

But there was a second barrier: my sexuality had been put on hold for so long. That was until I allowed myself to take the improv route and say yes to whatever this new particular sexual partner suggested. I trusted him, and I was scared, but I was ready to say yes again.

And now, I may be well over 200 pounds, but I can’t help but feel like the sexiest woman in any room. I feel like I’m nineteen again, when I wasn’t afraid to try anything.

I may be almost thirty, but I’m back at the Stag Shop asking all the questions and buying that full-body fishnet stocking. In short, my sexuality can be described in one word: renewed.  

2021 - second fierce boudoir shoot :)

How did you feel at the beginning of the photo shoot?

To be honest, I had worked myself into quite the state prior to Juliette and Fanny’s arrival. The day before the shoot had actually been the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death, and part of the reason for having this the next day was to have a planned and almost concrete way to celebrate life. Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

However, I can’t express how quickly my anxiety dissipated when Juliette and Fanny entered my apartment. I had pulled a bunch of pieces of clothing I stared at blankly; they quickly identified three outfits. By the time I had changed, they had moved around pillows and chairs and tables, and all of a sudden my little apartment felt worthy of a photo shoot. And soon thereafter, they made me feel worthy of this photo shoot. They directed and displayed poses and had such a contagious energy. I was fully into it only a few clicks into the first outfit.

2022 - Third session. We asked Hallae what sensuality meant to her. This was the result!

What were you thinking about while it was happening? Did you have a particular mantra running through your head?

I didn’t have a particular mantra (besides “shoulders back, tits out”), but I was thinking of power.

I remember sitting on the floor in just a leotard and staring at the camera and having this moment where I felt so much more powerful than I had just a few moments earlier. Sometimes confidence is something that comes naturally, but sometimes we’re thrust into situations that force us to uncork that confidence.

It’s not always possible. But before the shoot I decided I was going to at least try, and I did. That was powerful for me.

What do you want to say to people who are currently lacking confidence, or feeling insecure when it comes to their body/sexuality? 

It would be easy to look at my photos and think, “Wow, she must be so comfortable in her body.” But now you know the truth. I was freaking out up until the moment the photographers walked through the door. Part of me believes that finding confidence in your body is sometimes consciously acting to find it. I’m not saying go out right now and take pictures in your underwear, but that’s one way to do it.

No one can convince you your body is beautiful without a bit of work on your part. (Though I’m still here to tell you: it is.) Have you seen it in a teddy yet? What about covered in sparkles? Drape your body in whatever your kink is. Then stare at it in the mirror, take photos of yourself, wear it on a date, wear it on a solo dinner. When that person comes up to you and tells you your body is beautiful, think about how hot you fucking looked, and agree with them.

Feel it. Own it.

That’s what I’m talking about when I say act consciously. Then fuck the shit out of them, with consent, of course :)

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Personal story - the search for the perfect birth control method

Disclaimer: In this post I am talking about my own experience and feedback about birth control methods. I am not a doctor and this should not be considered as legal advice. You should seek appropriate counsel for your own situation.

Today we are back with a blog on a more personal topic: birth control methods. If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to talk about our life’s experiences on topics people don’t necessarily talk about. We believe that talking about those things are a great way to remove the unnecessary pressure and clichés that surround them.

It ain't a walk in a park!

Fanny writing today by the way! In 2018, I was sharing with you why I decided to stop taking the birth control pill and switch to a non-hormonal copper IUD (the Intrauterine Device is a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that's put into your uterus to prevent pregnancy. It’s long-term, reversible, and one of the most effective birth control methods out there). Both Juliette and I tried it but we had different experiences. You can read Juliette’s opinion on the IUD here!

Even if I think it is much better than the pill, I unfortunately had to remove mine last year. In my opinion, the IUD is an amazing birth control method and I wish more people were using it. It can last from 3 to 10 years depending of the brand, it is more affordable than pill, and once it is inserted you have nothing to do beside checking every year it didn’t move. But it is not for everyone!

Let’s start by the beginning: the insertion. I have a good pain tolerance but the insertion was painful! My family doctor was the one to insert it and instead of opening the T part at once, she did in 3 or 4 times which made it extremely painful for me. I spent the rest of the day feeling unwell which is very common: strong cramps, headaches, and I also felt nauseous for a few hours.

The first year was ok-ish beside the fact I got a strong acne and had my real period (when you take the pill, your periods are “regulated”. You lose less blood, they are usually shorter, and less painful). But the longer I kept the IUD the more intense the cramping were, to a point that I almost passed out several times. It was also weird for me to have this foreign object in my body and I always had the impression I could feel it. Move forward 2022, I took the decision to remove it even though I had one year left. I could tell it wasn’t the right birth control method for me and since I wasn’t dating anyone it was the perfect moment to stop the process.

Now what?

I have been birth control free for a year now and I really enjoy it. But I am ready to date again and since I do not want to have any kids, I have to find a new one on top of using condoms. Unfortunately, my options are getting limited: I do not want to take any hormones, and I don’t wanna go back with an IUD. If you are wondering what other choices I have, here are the two options I am thinking of:

• Fertility awareness such as tracking my ovulation period using tools like my basal body temperature, or cervical mucus. I feel very excited to try this out but it also stresses me a lot. I love the idea of going natural and learning more about my body, but if it is not done properly then the chance of getting pregnant increases 😟

• Tubal removal procedure. This is an irreversible birth control method in which both of the fallopian tubes are being completely removed. This would be perfect for me since you cannot get pregnant with this surgery. The only thing that makes me think twice about it is that, depending of the person, it can make the period more painful than they usually are.

I already started to get information about this procedure. I talk to my family doctor first but she wasn’t very supportive and told me it is not something that is usually done in Canada. But I insisted so she sent me to see a gynaecologist and to my surprise she didn’t give me a hard time nor try to make me give up on the idea. I have read online that many doctors are against this surgery (unless you already had plenty of kids), because it is permanent and they have a hard believing people who say they don’t want children. I was ready to fight for my rights and the control over my own body but didn’t have to. She of course had to make sure I understood it is irreversible, but since I am very set in stones with that decision, and told her I was having a hard time finding the perfect birth control method, she put me on a waiting list to get that procedure done. Which gives me the time to do more researches!

Also the fact that my family doctor lied to me a little with her statement saying it is not common for people to do that here in Canada made me a tad angry. I can see why a lot of people are having a hard time finding doctors who respect their medical decision.

I have learned a lot about the tubal removal procedure and will probably write another blog to talk more about it.

We hope you enjoy this type of content! Even if those of blogs are not directly related to our work as boudoir photographers, it is an important part of who Juliette and I are, and the values we share. We make it a priority to be authentic, and we truly believe that if people were to talk more often about their everyday struggles and experiences, there will be less taboos around important topics and the world would be a better place!

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“I’ll do a shoot when I will have the perfect body!”

The following is the most common reason that stops people from trying a boudoir shoot (honestly, if someone were to give us a loony every time we heard that sentence, we will be rich by now 💰), and it usually goes like this:

“I want to do a shoot so badly but I need to lose weight first!”

NO YOU DON’T NEED TO. You don’t need to look thinner, you don’t need to be more muscular, you don’t need to go through plastic surgery.

Don’t get us wrong, if for example your goal is to do a boudoir-fitness shoot then of course you will want to showcase your muscles. But if you want to do a shoot for yourself, to feel more confident and sensual, then do it the way you are: beautiful au naturel 💛.

The eternal search for the “perfect” body

Because of classic boudoir photographs, it is not surprising to hear that so many people believe they have to lose weight, be more fit, or change their body one way or another, in order to do a shoot. We are in 2023 and body diversity is still not well represented in our field. What you can mostly see are heavily photoshopped professional models with the same body type.

This makes it hard for most people to imagine they could do a boudoir shoot even if they don’t look like those models. What’s even harder is that it does not stop at boudoir but is everywhere we look, especially with social media. And even thought a lot of people fight for body diversity acceptance, we are still not there yet.

The belief that a body is beautiful only if it follows certain standards is so deeply rooted that it will take years to disappear, and will stop only if people learn to accept their body and love it the way it is.

Changing your body for a boudoir shoot is a dangerous game

Let say for example you don’t like the way you look because you think you are too big and you believe that you have to attain a certain number in order to do a shoot. You will work hard, maybe for months, to reach to your boudoir goal, and once you get there you finally do your shoot. Awesome you did it, but can you guess what happens next?

Most likely there will be two scenarios:

• #1: This experience was kind of a wake up call for you. Fitness becomes an important habit in your life. You feel motivated to keep working on this new body of yours and are very happy about it.

• #2 (and the most common): you don’t get any pleasure from that fitness journey so you stop and your body goes back to its natural shape and size.

Creating new habits, especially around body transformation, is hard and for a lot of people not worth the struggles and time around it.

What’s “dangerous” with changing your body before a shoot is that when you will look at those photographs in the future (and you still don’t feel confident about yourself) it will triggers tons of negative emotions because what you see on pictures doesn’t reflect who you are and what you look like. You will probably think you were more beautiful at that time and this will make your confidence completely drop.

In our opinion boudoir photography is about body acceptance, self-confidence, sensuality, and empowerment. Basically it is about accepting your whole badass-self!

Au naturel is better

Learning to accept your natural body and find beauty even with the parts you like less or hate is possible and requires practice. It is about changing the perspective you have regarding what you look like and running far far away from the destructive fashion industry’s beauty standards.

Also if you love social media, start following people who have the same body type as you and who inspire you. Follow people who are authentic with strong and human values. People who teach about body acceptance and self-love. But if you start feeling jealous about what you see online, then it is time to take a break from social media.

Your body is not your enemy. Be kind, gentle, and loving with it!

Be the same way as you are when your best friend is having a hard time: compassionate. Throwing hate or negative feeling at yourself will only make you feel worst. Only you can change the narrative 😘

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The importance of knowing how to highlight yourself in lingerie

As boudoir photographers we see so many different types of lingerie during our shoots and most of the time our clients’s favourite pieces are the ones that fit them the best. If you are used to wear lingerie, you know how uncomfortable pieces that don’t fit can be and you also know it is not that easy to find the perfect match. We don’t know for you but we weren’t taught, when we were younger, about what bras sizes or panty shapes were the best for our body type. It took us years, plenty of mistakes, and experts, to finally realize we were not wearing the right sizes.

First of all let’s clarify something:

There are so much more body shapes and sizes than what the fashion industry made us believe. Back then, when Juliette and I were teenagers and looking to wear our first bras, we were taught about all the common sizes and that we were supposed to fit in one of those (and when your body change, you find a new size and stick to it until your body changes again). But it wasn’t that simple!

It happened so many times we couldn’t find the perfect fit because we were in between sizes (for example having a bras that has the under band too tight but the cup too big). In those moments it was easy to feel like shit and see ourselves as women with large chest but small boobies 😟. Can you guess what happen when those feelings keep pilling up? Just a typical fall of our body confidence! All the bullshit about the “perfect bodies” was so deeply rooted that it never occurred to us that the problem didn’t come from our bodies but from the restricted rules of the fashion industry.

It is very important to understand the lack of body confidence has been a business for decades. The worst you feel about yourself the most likely you are to buy stuff that will “fix” the way you look (diets, plastic surgeries, props to change your body, beauty products to make you look younger or hairless,… sadly we could keep going). Making clothes that perfectly fit only a small portion of the population is one more of those marketing tricks that makes you feel bad about your body.

So next time you are trying on lingerie (or any pieces of clothing) and you are having a really hard time to find a size that works for you, remember that it is probably because the design of the collection isn’t cut for your shape and it is best to try something else.

Alright let’s go back to the main topic of this blog as we got a bit carried away (if you are part of our community you know by now we like to dig deeper with our topics and are passionate about destroying those old school believes 💪).

Why is it important to have lingerie that fits?

Both Juliette and I love lingerie. How designers play with the textures, all the styles you can find, and how sexy and confident lingerie can make you feel. But not every cuts are suitable for everyone and as we mentioned previously it is hard to know what shape is the best for our body. But when you find those precious pieces, it is heaven on Earth!

Here are 3 main reasons why having the right lingerie is a game changer:

Comfort

This is probably one of the most important reason. Wearing a bras with an underwire that digs into your skin or panties that are too tight they give you a frontal wedgie can really ruin your day. Even if those pieces are the most beautiful lingerie you ever saw, it is not worth putting your comfort on the side.

When you wear lingerie in your every day life, you don’t want it to be a struggle. Good lingerie makes itself discrete, almost like you are not wearing anything!

Look

Number two on our list is the way it looks on you. We are not talking about the style or colours but how you can easily notice when someone is wearing lingerie that doesn’t fit them (either it is too big or two small).

For example, too small panties can create body rolls you don’t have. And a bras that is too tight will make your breast overflow it which is very visible underneath your clothe. And that also works for bras that are too big revealing gaps in the cups.

When the lingerie you wear doesn’t properly highlight your curves but instead accentuate the parts of your body you might have a hard time to like, it doesn’t help with self-love.

Confidence

Which bring us to our last point: body confidence!

When you wear lingerie that suits you like a glove, that is light as a feather and smooth as a cloud, and that highlights perfectly all of your curves, it really makes you feel like a goddess. You start to see your body in a different light and realize that there is nothing wrong with it.

We’re telling you, it is like a super power! You put it on and suddenly there is a wave of sexyness coming at you that makes you say: “Damn I look good!” 😉.

If you are thinking: “ok ladies all of this sounds amazing but how can I actually know what size and shape of lingerie works best for me?” Well don’t worry we got you! We are partnering with Gigi’s House of Frills on July 8th and created a unique and intimate event that includes a semi-private fitting session, lingerie shopping, and some bubbly & bite-sized deserts. It will be a lot of fun and we hope you can join us:

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Stop avoiding your reflection

Have you ever taken the time to stop in front of a mirror and just look at yourself without any judgment? We are not talking about looking at yourself while you do your makeup or to check if you have a piece of lettuce stuck between your teeth. But really looking at your reflection for a certain amount of time with kindness , love, and gratitude, for that fucking strong being you are while dealing with the pain life can put on your path.

Probably not right! Well it is quite normal as we have been conditioned from a very young age to not like our body and avoid our own reflection. We have been told by the media and loved ones to:

• not take too much room and stay quiet, otherwise you are asking for attention;

• not show too much confidence because it will mean you think you are better than everyone else;

• not compliment our own body or look, so people don’t think you are narcissistic.

On top of that past traumas destroy our sel-estime and create body dysmorphia, which makes it even harder to not ditch our reflection every time we pass in front of a mirror. But when you do take those minutes to look at yourself in the eyes and look at your beautiful body, magical things happens.

Let us tell you a little story:

Mirrors are not your ennemies

We had a boudoir shoot last year with one of our Scandal, Sarah, that we met a few years ago (if it is your first time here, we use the word “Scandal” for our clients or people within our community 😎). She was first part of a very creative shoot of the theme of fire, but then shot with us again for a regular boudoir shoot.

It was really nice during that boudoir shoot to create photographs around her personality and style compared to the first “fire shoot” which was designed to follow our ideas.

During that last session, we asked Sarah to pose in front of a mirror and look at herself and her body for a few minutes. There was a lot of emotions in her eyes and she later shared with us that shot was important and a huge moment for her":

“I had to look at my own reflection for an extended period of time, most of us don’t do that! I was able, considering I had so many body image issues because of my experiences, to look at my own reflection and feel positive, beautiful, strong, powerful, and confident, the entire time. And that has never happened to me before!”

This healing impact boudoir photography have on people is one of the reasons why we love doing it. And we cannot be more grateful to work with people who trust us enough to share their vulnerability with us 💛

Let’s give it a try, shall we?

We cannot write about something for you to try, especially for an exercise that can be hard to do if you don’t feel comfortable with your body, without trying it ourselves first. Personally I, Fanny, haven’t done this exercise in a long time so it will be interesting to see how it makes me feel. Both Juliette and I will share with you our honest thoughts!

But first here is the idea:

• do this exercise when you are alone at home, you need peace and quiet;

• you can do it fully naked or fully clothed, or an in-between, it does not really matter;

• now look at your body with love and compassion, remember it has been carrying you since you were born and allows you to be alive.

• Once you are done with the previous step, look at yourself in the eyes and put a hand on your heart. Think of everything you have accomplished so far and be proud of yourself.

How does it make you feel?

If this sounds to woo-woo for you, feel free to adapt it to your liking. The goal of this exercise is to help you reconnect with your body but also your mind, and help you feel better when you are feeling down about yourself.

Disclaimer: the results will never be the same when you try it because your mood and mental impact a lot the way we see yourself. It also varies from one person to another.

Our experience

Fanny

Those past months have been really hard (and I know I am not the only one who feels that way). I have been feeling disconnected from my body for probably over a year now, lost touch with my sensuality, and keep feeling this inside void. So tonight I decided to try this exercise after my shower because this is the moment when I feel the most relax.

I looked deep in my eyes and focused on all my qualities, reminding to myself all the things I have accomplished and whispering kinda of a pep talk to increase my self-esteem. Then run my fingers on my face, neck, arms, and chest, not in a sexual way but only to feel that connection I need. While keeping a soft smile on my face.

I needed that kindness to erase all the negative thoughts I can have about myself and it felt really good.

Juliette

I never look at myself more than 30 seconds in a mirror because it is really easy for me to become very critical over my body, especially when I don’t have a mirror with proper lighting. Maybe I could work on it, but lately I have been feeling really good about the way I look and don’t wanna take the risk to fuck it up by looking too long at myself.

But this time I made the effort to stay in front of my mirror a tad longer and I felt grateful for what my body does for me, especially since I am 31 years old. I know it is not going to last since I am getting older (thinking how broken I will be when hitting 90 😅) ! I am also very proud as I never thought I would ever be able to have this type of body. I am referring to a muscular body not a body following traditional beauty standards.

After years of having body dysmorphia phases, those are the best reminders that help me to not focus on little details but what is actually important!

That is it for today, we hope this blog will bring extra sunshine to your life or help you reconnect with your beautiful-self if you need it.

If you decide to give it a try, let us know in the comments how you felt, and don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter below if it is not done already ⬇️

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Why don't we provide lingerie for our boudoir shoots?

We often receive inquiries in which people ask us if we provide lingerie during our boudoir shoots. It is indeed pretty common for Canadian boudoir photographers to offer this service (definitively not common in France thought so we would be curious to know what photographers in other countries think about that). We are assuming people like the idea of having access to more “luxurious” lingerie sets so we understand why this type of service can be wanted, but it is not something we are doing nor plan to do in the future.

Our reasons are based on our branding and personal taste, we are absolutely not denigrating our fellow photographers for choosing to provide lingerie to their clients!

Before scrolling down, can you guess our 3 main reasons?

1. Body Diversity

   The most important reason is that if we were to provide lingerie during our shoots the logistic will be insane for us. Since we opened Scandaleuse 6 years ago, our clientele includes people of every shapes and sizes, so if we were to include lingerie in our sessions we would need to have a lingerie store in order to keep being body inclusive and give our clients plenty of choices.

   We think providing lingerie is a great option for photographers who photograph mostly the same type of bodies (such as professional models for example) or the ones who only want to offer a few pieces to their clients.

2. Choice Of Outfits

   Second reason is that, in our opinion it is important to not feel like you are wearing a disguise when you do a boudoir shoot. We always suggest to our Scandals (AKA our clients) to wear outfits that makes them feel like their most confident, sensual, sexy, badass, or whatever else - self they want to feel. We tell them to be creative and think outside the box when it comes to their boudoir outfits, especially if a traditional set of lingerie is not their thing.

   We do not want to take pictures of people wearing the same outfits. Providing the lingerie to our Scandals would be too restrictive which is the opposite of what Scandaleuse is about: allowing yourself to give the spotlight to all your personalities instead of making you fit into a mold!

3. Is It Really Hygienic?

   Even it is safe to assume all pieces are being washed after each clients when photographers provide lingerie during their shoots, we personally don’t find this practice is super hygienic. Maybe some people don’t mind it but personally I, Fanny, would not feel comfortable wearing thongs or panties multiple people wear before me (unless I washed them myself to make sure it is really clean).

   When you do a shoot, especially if it is your first time, you want to make sure you are as relax as you can, so if you spend half of the session worrying about the cleanliness of what you are wearing it could make you tense and ruin your boudoir shoot.

   If you choose to shoot with a studio that provide the lingerie for you, make sure to ask how they clean their lingerie and how often it has been worn.

Making our boudoir shoots as flexible and inclusive as we can has been our goal since day one and we are very proud of ourselves for keeping it this way!

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Sentences you should never hear during a boudoir shoot

We opened Scandaleuse Photography 6 years ago and let us tell you that we have read and heard some pretty disturbing things coming from other photographers in the boudoir industry. We remember a few years ago we read on a boudoir photography website that this company could “make you be desirable again” 🤢. We were shocked to see that some professionals still believe that a boudoir shoot’s purpose is only to please a partner and make sure this partner will find you desirable. Pardon our french, but what a load of BS.

Let’s clear this old school belief once and for all: a boudoir shoot should be done for yourself first! Of course it is always a cool idea to show the pictures to your partner, even gifting them the photographs, but we see this as an extra bonus.

Your boudoir shoot should be a safe space

Boudoir photography is such a liberating experience but not the easiest (especially if it is your first time) as posing half naked in front of a stranger is probably not something you do everyday. So from the message on the photographer’s website to their guidance during the day of the shoot, you should feel at ease and safe.

It is really easy for some photographers, especially if they are used to work with professional models, to forget that not everyone feel comfortable in front of a camera and not everyone have experience posing. So when they work with people who pose for the first time, they can easily misguide them or become impatient, and end up saying the wrong things while guiding their clients.

Here are 5 sentences you will never hear us say during a boudoir shoot:

• “This doesn’t look good on you!”

Because we like to photograph our clients in outfits that make them feel like their most beautiful and confident-selves, we do not provide any lingerie. We let them bring clothing and accessories they love and want to be photographed in. So if someone bring something we don’t necessarily like or we think it is not gonna look good, it is not our role to tell them if they should wear it or not (we are not the fashion police). As long as they feel good in it, that is all that matters.

And in case they decide to wear an outfit that fits them in a weird or non-flattering way, we will make sure to adjust it on their body, rather than saying something judgmental.

• “Just relax ok!”

Like we mentioned earlier, boudoir photography isn’t the easiest experience to try. A lot of people have a negative relationship with their body or feel very uncomfortable in front of a camera. So it is absolutely normal to feel nervous during the shoot! But if the photographer tells you that you should relax, well it is not gonna magically happen and it might stresses you out even more.

What we personally like to do when we see that our client is tensed and nervous is to:

- crack a joke;

- make a silly dance move;

- demonstrate the pose in a non-serious way; or

Any other technics we can use that make us look a bit ridiculous so our client smiles, laughs, and sees that there is no point to take yourself too seriously during a shoot.

• “You are not listening to the directions I give you!“

Talking about impatient photographers, this is something no one should ever tell you on a shoot (in any type of photography). Knowing to give clear posing directions to their models is the number one skill any photographer should have.

If during the shoot, you feel like it is hard to understand what the photographer is asking you to do, ask them to demonstrate the poses so you can have a visual. It is easier to copy the steps rather than trying to figure them out.

• “Smile!”

If you ever had your picture taken, as a kid or even now as an adult for example with headshots, you probably heard the photographer tell you “look at the camera and smile!”. If you are part of the lucky peeps who enjoy being in front of a camera then it is probably not a problem. But if you are like most of the people we know and the camera makes you uncomfortable, you probably find it cringey and you know it doesn’t work (or it reveals your most awkward smile). You end up looking at those pictures and tell yourself you are not photogenic… spoiler alert: everyone is photogenic, you just need the good guidance!

What we do during our shoot when we want to make you smile or give us a little smirk is, once again, we make a joke to make you smile and snap a few pictures. Or we tell you to give us your best fake laugh, we of course show you how to do it, which usually makes you smile (or laugh) as well 😄

• “Now be sexy!”

One of the goals of a boudoir shoot is to help you discover or re-discover your sexyness and sensuality. But if the photographer comes in front of you with their camera and tells you: “Ok, now be sexy!”, the chances are you will not know what to do and you will probably feel awkward.

It is really difficult to feel sexy on command, especially if doing a boudoir shoot puts you out of your comfort zone. Maybe you don’t even want to focus on your sexy side during your shoot and instead work on your confidence or something else. So you really don’t want the photographer to ask you to be sexy when they decide it is time for you to be.

Instead make sure to communicate what is the purpose of your shoot and the vibes you want to get from the pictures. Your photographer should be able to highlight whatever atmosphere you want to create with the poses, lighting, and any outfits and accessories you brought with you.

If you enjoyed today’s blog, you will love to know what are the most hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers 😂

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5 ways to make your boudoir shoot more creative

When you search for boudoir photography on the internet (thank you Schitt’s Creek for this - if you know you know), you might not relate to what you see as most of the photographs look the same: gorgeous models, with the same thin body type, wearing classic lingerie, posing on beds with white sheets.

Don’t get us wrong there is nothing wrong with that per se, and if it is what you are looking for then it will be easy for you to find the perfect photographer for your shoot as this the most common way of shooting boudoir.

But if you are looking for something different, then it becomes tricky. Not everyone feel like their most amazing-self in lingerie, and not everyone wants to have pictures of themselves looking cute in a bed. We all like different things right, so when it comes to your boudoir shoot you don’t have to be traditional if it is not your style.

Today, we are sharing with you 5 ways to make your boudoir shoot more creative!

Outfits

This is probably the most important point of this blog! Clothes are a great tool to help us feel confident, sensual, badass, or whatever else we wanna feel when we choose what to wear for the day. It is the same for your boudoir shoot, the outfits you choose will determine what your pictures will look like.

When we work with new clients, we always explain that they shouldn’t feel like they are wearing a disguise during the session. If traditional lingerie is not their vibe because they feel better in a large t-shirt with high socks, then they should definitely bring it on set.

What we recommend to all of our clients is that they open their closet and choose every outfits that make them feel fabulous. Usually people bring a suitcase full of different options and here are some examples what we saw during our shoots:

• Sequin shorts and dresses

• Faux-fur coats, one was pink

• Tons of different bodysuits

• Handmade leather armours and capes

• Fringe jackets

• kimonos and see-through robes

• leather pants

• aviator and denim jumpsuits

• jersey and over-sized sweaters

• onesies and pyjamas

• men shirts

The list goes on… See, you can really have fun with your outfits and think outside the box!

Also you DO NOT have to stick to one theme for your session. If you feel like going from a cosy atmosphere to a femme fatale look, go for it :)

Props

Accessories are great to add something extra special to your shoot. It is an opportunity to show your personality on pictures and it give us the chance to create little scenarios so you don’t have to focus too much on the camera.

We are talking about those things that makes you YOU! What can you bring that reflects the personas you want to highlight during your boudoir shoot? Maybe you have a favourite coffee mug or a book. Maybe you have a hobby that takes your mind out of reality and you wanna use it for your pictures… Once again the possibilities are endless and find below examples of props we have seen so far:

• Guitars

• Books and magazines

• Alcool and food

• Katana swords and knives

• Deck of cards

• Whips and cuffs

• flower bouquets

But it can also be jewelry and body chains (we are still waiting for someone who wants a nude picture of themselves covered with jewelry!), shoes, and much more…

Location

The location of your shoot is also very important because it will act as the decors around you. What vibe do you feel the most attracted to: airy, neutral tons, plain colours? Warmth, bricks and beams, industrial? Are plants important to you? Do you see yourself more in a colourful environment?

If you have preferences, make sure the photographer you will choose can take pictures of you in a location you will love.

You can find here two blogs we wrote about our lofts so you can decide more easily:

• Pure, simple, & minimalist

• Warm, industrial, & cosy

Poses

Don’t worry, we will NOT tell you that in order to do a boudoir shoot you need to know how to pose (this is a common misbelief we are trying to kick away). Your photographer should be able to guide through each poses and make sure they look great for the body type you have and your level of flexibility (not everyone can do a backbend or bring their foot behind their head!).

But the poses are important to match the vibes you want to create during your boudoir shoot. Let’s say, for example, you want a set of pictures in which you can embrace your masculine side, in that case the poses you will choose will help doing so. Don’t hesitate to communicate with the photographer and explain what you have in mind.

Also don’t hesitate to mention any present or past injuries so the photographer doesn’t make you do poses that could be painful or uncomfortable for you.

Lighting

This one is just an extra little thing to know.

Light has the power to completely change the atmosphere and style of a picture. To keep it simple there are basically two main types of lighting: airy (full of light, bright) or moody (shadows, dark tones, contrast). This might sounds too technical for you and maybe you think it is the photographer’s job to deal with it (which is true obviously) but it can be an important information for your photographer to know: is there an atmosphere that attracts you the most?

If not, then you give your photographer more creative freedom. But if you feel like you want your shoot to go in one direction or the other, it will impact your photographer’s way of working and the location of your shoot.

If you are not sure about what you want or what is possible with the photographer you are thinking of hiring, we suggest to create a mood board or gather pictures you find online to illustrate what you like and have example to show to the photographer. They should be able to guide you from there!

If there are two things to remember about your upcoming boudoir shoot is that it has to look like yourself and it should be fun!

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Sometimes it just starts with armpit hair!

No Valentine’s day topic this weekend! You have probably unwilling been consuming enough of this content those past weeks. Instead let’s talk about your body hair!

Well, to tell you the truth this blog isn’t just about letting your hair grow or not. It is about allowing yourself to be YOU, the way YOU want it (yes I am emphasizing “you” just so it sticks to your mind 😘). And if it involves having hairy armpits, good! If not, good as well!

Hair, no hair; does it really matter?

A few years ago, Marion Seclin (a french influencer we really like), was talking about the fact she did a photoshoot with a brand who edited her hair out on Photoshop, without notifying her. She said she took the decision 4 years ago to let her hair grow naturally and she was very angry about the studio’s behaviour:

The decisions concerning YOUR body belongs to YOU and you ONLY.

By photoshoping her hair out, without her CONSENT, that brand violated her right to be the individual SHE DESIRES TO BE. They disrespected her life's choices. And for what? Because they felt like she didn’t match their standards. Standards usually imposed by the media and the fashion industry.

If you choose to wax every 3 weeks or not, it should be because it makes you feel great and not because you feel like you HAVE to do it.

Nobody should tell you what is the best for you. Your body and lifestyle decisions must be made based on your opinion. not others.

If people are telling you the opposite, don’t listen to them. This could also be a good sign to start clearing out some of your relationships to make room for better ones.

Story time: We had a wonderful photo shoot with Léa Castor in Paris. She stopped removing her hair a couple of years ago, because she realized that she wasn't really doing it for her, but for her lover at the time. She said that she wanted to start loving her hair the way it actually is, but it was hard. Not because she thinks it looks ugly but because of society: she felt like people will judge and criticize her.

When we first talked about her session, we really wanted to showcase and do close-ups of her hair to tell the world "hey see, it's not bad at all!" but it turns out that we just focused on her as a person like we always do.

not making her body hair the main focus was our way to normalizing her natural beauty.

Building your life despite expectations: damn that's hard.

But damn, it is worth it. Being able to live your life the way you want to is the best feeling in the world: you feel in harmony with your values, you become proud of yourself, it is pretty much the road to your long-term happiness!

However, from the minute you will start making decisions to be fully yourself, you are going to have to deal with… drum rolls… others. And people LOVE to share their opinion about your lifestyle even if you did not ask for it 🙄.

Friends, family, strangers! Doesn’t matter who they are, you will have to face complains, disappointments, frustrations, or even anger, coming from people who will not accept your life’s choices. And this can makes the whole process of building your own identity very challenging. But don’t give up!

any criticism about your journey is actually not about you. They will simply project their own insecurities and fears on you.

Through your achievements, they will see their own failures and will try to bring you down instead of supporting your decisions. Jealousy is ugly!

Sometimes it just starts with armpit hair!

See, you don’t need much to start living your life the way you want. You can start with something as simple as letting your body hair grow or starting a new hobby that people might find too scandalous. It will be scary at first but once you realize that what people think of you doesn’t not matter, you will take on bigger steps that will feel less and less scary ❤️

We would love to hear about one thing you changed in your life that was hard but worth it. Share in the comments!

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Finding sensuality in winter time

Winter is coming with its Christmas’ vibe… and we are very excited about it! In our opinion winter in Canada is magical (well at least when the snow is still white instead of being covered with pollution) ❄️.

The problem with winter here is that it last for a longgg timeee. So many months of cold and grey(ish) weather can easily affects us in a negative way and make us fall in a poor self-care never ending circle. Which, you can guess, is hard on the feeling of being sensual.

If you want to live your life in the most happiest way possible, it is really important to take good care of your body and mind. In order to do so, you have to put yourself as a priority. Otherwise you let all the stress from your everyday routine take control of your well being. This is when anxiety, fatigue, fear (and all that jazz) show the tip of their nose.

So why is sensuality so important?

It helps to feel in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition.

We know sensuality can be a scary word, as a lot of people think it is only related to sexuality. But it is not! Sensuality is the ability to feel in touch with all of our senses.

Here are 5 ways to feel sensual again in winter time:

Movement

We put this on top of our list because this is VERY important, not only for sensuality but also for your health. So write it down somewhere or take a mental note:

You have to incorporate movements in your routine!

Being “stuck inside", having to work from home and spending most of our days sitting on a chair or a sofa is really bad for our body. It makes our muscles week, creates tightness in our back and neck, and decreases our level of energy.

if you motivate yourself to move your body often during the day, your productivity and mood will skyrocket. And honestly it is an easy habit to create. For example:

• Do some yoga in the morning and gentle stretching during the day.

• Take a break from work and dance like nobody's watching.

  Or just move your body slowly and the way you want it, without making it pretty.

Moving your body will make you feel more connected to it and at peace with yourself.

Self-Care

Taking care of this body of yours is also primordial. We like to imaging our body is its own little person that needs attention, the same way you will give it to a loved one, a pet or a plant. It needs love and care in order to grow strong and beautiful. Here is how you can give it some lovin’:

• Put some make up on and do your hair if it makes you feel good.

• Make yourself a hot bath or get massage to relax.

• Take the time to moisturize every inches of your skin and feel the lotion deeply nourishing it.

Food

Yes, believe us when we say food as the power to develop your sensuality. There is a common saying french people like to say after a delicious meal:

“It was as good as an orgasm!”

It does not mean we had one while eating, but it means the feeling of peace and joy was the same an orgasm can give you. Quality food is all about flavours. Forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas that can increase your level of happiness and peace :)

• Learn to cook healthy and tasty meals.

• Go buy yourself some delicious french pastries.

• Order your favourite food and take the time to enjoy each flavours.

Sexuality

Even if sensuality is not only about sex, it is an important part of it. In this part we want to talk about self-sexuality and forget about potential partners for a minute.

You have to know your body by heart in order to feel fully at peace with it. You cannot be afraid to touch and look at it, and discover what parts of your body are the most sensitive.

They are so many ways to play with and learn about your body, and by yourself. You can start by lighting up some candles, listen to musics that help you relax or turn you on… it will put you in the mood. Once you have set up everything your way, you can try different things, such as:

• Breathing exercises and energy movements (this is a bit more spiritual) to help you reconnect with your body.

• Touch EVERY PARTS of your body, apply different types of pressure or speed. This will help you understand where and how you like to be touched.

• Be curious about toys (yes even if you have a partner, it can actually be a cool add on to your sex life). You can find a variety of toys: static or with vibrations; different sizes, shapes, colours and texture.

*Little side note: if you are looking to empower your sexuality, we highly suggest to check out Layla Martin work!

And of course boudoir!

Last but definitely not least on today’s list is boudoir photography. This is the perfect experience to discover and play with your sensuality during a time that is for you and you only! No need to wear a disguise for your shoot, you are the one choosing the vibes you want to create and will bring the outfits and props that make you feel your most sensual-self.

Of course there are so many other ways to embrace your sensuality, you just have to experience and be curious.

Now you know what to do, go make sensuality part of your everyday routine!

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How words can impact your mind and body

Language is a powerful tool which brings people together and help understand each other. But unfortunately it can also be used as a weapon when put between mischievous hands. Since it is easier for a lot of people to criticize rather than giving compliments, words can be extremely harmful.

By the way I, Fanny, am writing this blog. But I can also speak for Juliette as she also got hurt from people’s comments when she was younger!

Like most people I am lacking self-confidence from time to time. Not about my body, more about my skills and intellect (this will be for another blog though 😬). I feel very fortunate I was able to accept and love how my body looks like naturally, but it wasn't always the case! It took me many years to realize that all the beauty standards I grew up with were BS and how to reclaim my own beauty. Honestly photography helped a lot and I am really glad I chose that path!

I used to wish to be curvier, taller, have thicker wrists, have a perfect skin… I was wishing to be different not only because of what I was seeing in magazines or tv, but also because people around me were criticizing me about my body.

When your loved ones are not so loving

Juliette was criticized for being overweight, I was criticized for being skinny and short:

-“You look like a garden gnome hahaha!”

- “I should not talk about that in front of you! What are you, 14 or so?” (I was 22 😢)

- “Are you not ashamed of not having boobs?”

- “Are you sure you don't suffer from anorexia?”

… I could keep going on and on.

Most of those awful sentences came from friends or people I knew, and every time they broke me into thousand pieces. Until a classmate told me the worst one someone could ever say to me “your mom should be so ashamed for giving birth to an anorexic girl. What an embarrassment!”.

That sentence was a wake up call! Like Juliette, I had a “F**k that! Never again” moment and told myself that I will never let words put me down ever again.

Relax, it was just a joke!

That famous: “I was joking!”… I am pretty sure we can all relate right? And maybe we did it too without realizing we hurt someone. We don’t know if it was the same for you but Juliette and I grew up in France where sarcasm is very common. People from the same family and friends pocked each other, made jokes about the way they look or their personality, and ended up with a "you are so sensitive, it was just a joke!” if the person was hurt or taking it the wrong way. We were both victims of those comments that could be soul crushing.

And yes maybe it was just a “joke”, but for some reason that day those words sticked to your mind. Maybe it wasn’t the first time you heard those words or maybe you were already having a bad day and was feeling a down. When a loved one tells you several times how overweight they think you are or how an idiot you can look like, even if they say it with a touch of humour, you ended up believing those words and less in yourself.

When the critics come from yourself!

Raise your hand if you have ever called yourself stupid. Raise your hand if you have ever looked at your reflection in the mirror with a disgusted look on your face. Raise your hand if you have ever been unkind to yourself! Are you raising both hands right now and need a third one? Yep, me as well :(

Self-criticism is so common! It is very easy to be harsh with our body and our mind, yet the things we tell ourselves we would never tell that to someone else. So why this need of self-harm and sabotage?

What we want you to do from now on is to talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend.

Start seeing your body as a friend who needs love instead of seeing it as an enemy. Kindness is not only meant to comfort others!

It is hard to detach ourselves from the negative things people can tell us or have told us in the past because it is painful. But the truth is that people have the tendency to project their own insecurities on you rather than dealing with their problems. So the next time someone criticize you, remember there is a big chance that person is just showing how they really think about themselves in a specific situation.

Once you get that, people’s hurtful words will not affect you anymore!

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Sensuality 101

Let's get liberated today!

Sensuality can be a scary topic for some people as it is common to believe it is only related to sex, and usually used as a weapon for seduction. Even if both are connected (when you learn to develop your sensuality, you learn to be in touch with your body the way it is, which opens up your sexuality), sensuality is also so much more than sex.

It is the ability to feel deeply connected to all our senses, and experience life in a more beautiful and energetic way.

It is time to demystify sensuality

If you Google it, you will read the common definition of sensuality is:

The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

But sensuality is also defined as the ability to feel in touch with our touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste and any extrasensory perceptions beyond our five commonly recognized senses.

If sensuality is often interpreted as sexuality, it is because of that one thing they have in common. PLEASURE. What can be more difficult to understand is this notion of pleasure: some things can give you sexual pleasure and others can be pleasurable without sexual desire.

Sensuality can increase your sexual behaviour but can also be about enjoying simple pleasures, such as watching a sunset, flavourful food, a massage, a perfume or any particular smell, a yoga pose, feeling the sun on your skin… Anything that makes you feel great in the moment but isn't related to sex.

You gotta embrace it!

As women we heard it all:

“Be polite. Dress up properly. Be a good girl!".

Most of us have been told to never be too loud because people will think we are hysterical. We have been told to not take too much room otherwise we are just showing off. Neither to show too much skin because we are whores if we do. So we cover ourselves up, forget how to be in touch with our femininity and let our true essence disappears. And for what? Because we feel like we have to please others all the time, and are afraid of people's judgment.

Not loving our whole-self enough leads to frustration, jealousy and sadness. How can we expect to be happy and live the life we want, when we are filled with all those negative feelings?

Learning to embrace sensuality (btw, we are all sensual beings!) is a way to start feeling in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence and trust in others. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition. Not that bad hey!

Sensuality = Femininity

It doesn't matter what we identify to, we all have a feminine and masculine side. Sensuality is a powerful tool to dig deeper into your feminine energy. If you feel like you are more in touch with your masculinity, exploring your sensuality will help you understand and bring back more of your feminine side into your life.

It is very easy to do! You will read below that there are many ways to embrace your sensuality, all you need is to keep an open mind about experiencing life.

Different ways to explore sensuality

When at peace with your whole-self, you are less likely to feel stressed in your every day life. You also don't feel the need of external validation: what people can think of you does not matter anymore. It creates a new level of self-love and confidence.

As said before, there many possibilities to experience sensuality:

• Movement:

  Can be some yoga, stretching, dance, a walk in nature,… Moving your body every day is amazing for so many aspects of your life, one of them being sensuality. When you move, you have to be aware of every inches of your body. Every muscles, and nerfs get activated, which makes you feel more in touch with yourself. It also allows you put all your energy around your hips which makes you feel so powerful and sexy.

• Food:

  Big foodies here! We are both from France, so let us tell you that you how much food means to us. France has a fabulous culinary reputation and it is for a reason: french cuisine is all about flavours and smells, forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas. We learnt to educate our palate, so when we try exquisite food, it can feel like non-sexual orgasms.

• Clothing:

  Every shapes, colours, and textures you choose to wear can tell a lot about who you are, and what you enjoy in life. Clothes are a powerful tool for confidence and sensuality, it is like wearing a second skin. When you were pieces that make you feel good about your body, or the way you look, you unlock your emotions and allow yourself to be who you want to be.

• Nature:

  Our world is a beautiful place and need to be cherished. Next time you go outside, be aware of everything around you: the sounds, colours, shades of lighting, movement created by the wind, smells, feel the sun on your skin… Feel the energy of Life. How does it make you feel?

• Boudoir photography:

  Can you think of a more powerful way to develop your sensuality than boudoir photography? Having (pardon our french) the balls or vulva to show vulnerability by posing half naked in front of two strangers (AKA us), and still feel badass and empowered, is pretty impressive!

Now you just have to go for it!

“I never thought that sex was wrong, sinful, dirty. When you take away the thought of things being dirty or forbidden, then you can really enjoy your sensuality.” Gioconda Belli

Sensuality as a way to experience a deep peace within yourself, to feel alive and fulfill. When you embrace it, it makes you feel like you can do anything.

The world become your oyster.

And guess what?! When you feel like you can do anything, you actually start doing stuff that make you happy and 100% yourself. It is like a magical kick in the bum!

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Sharing your boudoir pictures, yes or no?

Boudoir photography is still not well known, and a lot of people don't even know why they would do a boudoir shoot to begin with. For some of those who took the decision to do it (welcome to this beautiful world 😀), the idea of sharing their pictures with other people makes them feel very uncomfortable.

We also have met people who wanted to do a shoot but decided not to because they thought they would have to share their pictures online.

Let's demystify together everything around privacy in the boudoir world.

via GIPHY

The choice is yours!

You AND ONLY YOU can decide if you want to keep your pictures private or not.

Boudoir photography can makes you feel vulnerable so you don't need to feel pressured by the photographer, your loved ones, or anyone one else, to share your pictures with the rest of the world.

When you have chosen your photographer make sure to sign a contract or a release option that says you want your pictures to stay private.

Like we said, the choice is yours, so do not let that fear of privacy stoping you from having a boudoir shoot done.

Why most people refuse to post their pictures online?

Well, most of the time it comes back to the fear of being judged. We still give too much importance to what others think of us and we easily let their judgment dictates our actions.

Part of those judgment comes from:

• Their Job:

  They are afraid to not be taken seriously if their coworkers were to see them in lingerie, especially women.

• Old Beliefs:

  A lot of people still believe nudity is shameful. A lot of women feel the need to cover up because they were told that showing too much skin is not proper or will make them looks like “whores” (ugh we hate that so much 😡)

• Social Media Haters:

  Words can be painful and some people are very sensitive to mean comments on social media. They are afraid to be harshly judged for their body, or even the act of posting pictures of them in lingerie.

There is also the fear of not knowing what their pictures will be used for, if the photographer were to share them. Once again, this can be specified in a contract between you and your photographer.

What we think as professionals and women

Even if we understand why privacy is really important for some people, we always suggest to not be afraid to post your pictures online. You will be surprised in a great way. Here is why:

• Inspire Other People

This is the first thing that will happen. If you post your boudoir pictures online (or any other experience you try that are a bit more “scandalous”) you will motivate people around you to do the same. We have so many past clients who came to us because their friends did a boudoir shoot. They were so proud to see the pictures and loved to hear the boudoir story that they wanted to do the same.

EACH OF OUR CLIENTS INSPIRED ANOTHER ONE, WE ARE IN A SENSE ALL CONNECTED BY THE LOVE OF BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE SOMEONE'S MUSE?! 

• Boost Of Confidence

Sharing your pictures on social media can seem superficial but it is actually a great way to boost your confidence. We usually forget that the way we see ourselves is different than the way others see us. It is not because you judge yourself badly than others do. Honestly the chances are you will get amazing feedback from your loved on those pictures (not that you need approval from people but it always feels good to get compliments on either the way we look or the fact we did a boudoir shoot).

And true fact, none of our Scandals ever got negative feedback.

There is also the fact that when you dare doing something you were afraid of (or that not a lot of people do) and you get compliments from it, your confidence grows.

It makes you feel powerful, free, and you just want to keep getting out of your comfort zone to achieve even more.

• More Scandals For Our Portfolio

We love sharing our work with our community because this is how we inspire people to do a shoot for themselves. We need examples to showcase the beautiful people we took pictures of, and make people understand they don't need to be a certain age, body type, or gender to try boudoir photography.

To conclude: sharing or not your pictures is a personal decision. You can absolutely keep them 100% private, but if you decide to post them online do not feel ashamed, ever! Just do what makes you feel comfortable in the moment, you can always change your mind later 😘

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